Yunho’s POV

Everything hurts. I feel as if my heart is being ripped out of my chest each day, there’s nothing but emptiness left. 

There’s a void waiting to be filled, but I know that no one but him could ever fill that space again. Ever since he walked out on me, on us, that cold rainy night 437 days and 23 minutes ago, there has been nothing but darkness in my heart. 

Do you know how it feels to know that the one you love with all your heart, the one you promised to spend your life together with in eternity, the one that holds the other piece of your heart, walk out on you. 

To hear them say that they no longer love you, never loved you before, feels like? 
Some say that it feels like someone has stabbed you in the chest, but that as time goes on you will learn to love again…

But who-ever-the-hell said such bull lied. It doesn’t stop hurting.

It’s not the feeling of one knife, but multiple, thousands of knives plunging into your chest, ripping out your heart bit by bit, leaving nothing but a trail of blood behind.

The feeling doesn't dampen over time, instead it hurts more each day, it constricts your airway, making breathing difficult, because you know that they will never be by your side again, that you will never get the chance to grow old together. 

I thought everything we had together was perfect. I loved him; no love him with all my heart, I still celebrate our anniversaries buying him gifts and storing them away in hopes of him receiving them one day. I write letters to him each night, knowing that he would never get the chance to read it; I lock them away in a safe just like how I locked my heart the night he left.  

To say that I didn't want him to suffer after the first few months he left would be a lie. I remember sending men to his house trashing and burning the place down, I made sure that he wouldn’t be able to get a job in Seoul and any other surrounding cities, I used my connections and power as the richest and most ruthless man in Asia to have him disowned from the Kim Corp., making sure that he wouldn’t be able to return to his family for help.

I made them cut off all ties with him, threatening that if they ever helped him they would see before their very own eyes the downfall of their company. I froze all his accounts and assets, making sure that he would never be able to leave the country. I had airports all over Korea blacklist him, so that if he ever attempted to leave he couldn't. I had him under my control, even if I couldn’t have him, no one else can. 

I had people after him, tracking his whereabouts each day, until he disappeared off the face of the earth after 3 months. No matter how hard I tried, how many men I sent I couldn’t find him. 

That was until she, told me that he was dead, that she someone had told her that Jaejoong, my love, jumped off a bridge, claiming that he wasn't able to live with the guilt of all his wrongdoings and chose the easy way out. She showed me pictures and incriminating documents of everything he did.  

The most painful was seeing the lifeless body of the one I love lying face down in the water, nothing but skin and bones. The paleness of his skin shone sickly white, casting a ghoulish light across the water. 

If it was even possible the last remaining shreds of my heart and the last few strands of hope of us reuniting in the future died. There was nothing left for me to live for. The one I loved died and so did everything along with him. 

The sun no longer held its ethereal light it once had, it was now a dull insistent reminder of the transition between night and day, something I no longer kept track off. 

The joyous laughter of children that once warmed my heart was a cold reminder of our lost. Of the little bundle of joy we could have had, the family we were supposed to have.

My mother never forgave me for letting Jaejoong go. She told me that no one else but Jaejoong was worthy of our family jewel, hence why she never even let Doha lay her eyes upon it. 

Doha.

The sound of her name left a bitter taste in my mouth. She changed since we last met, when she first reentered my life she was a very sweet woman. Always happy to help me in the office, helping me ease the burden so that I was able to return home earlier to my wife.

But everything started to change after a few months. She created more and more reasons for me to stay later and later each day, she wore extremely short skirts and provocative shirts and leaning uncomfortably close to my side each time we talked.  

Each time we had to stay late in the office to finish our work, she would offer to call home and tell my wife, of course trusting her sweet nature I left her, not knowing of the lies she fed my wife, slowly causing a wedge between us. 
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