Plot 20/20

There is nothing more difficult than reviewing a perfect story.  I swear, this task is nearly impossible.

Mm, I will confess and say that I was quite jealous whilst reading this.  I wish I was as good of a writer as you are.

Your plot and words were very powerful and had a great impact on me as I read.  At one point, I began reading outloud to my sister and we are both hooked and waiting patiently for your updates!  We are so caught up in the story and we know you like to make things unpredictable, so we can't even speculate who Grandpa is!

This is something that I look for in all fan fiction.  The element of suspense and unpredictability.  It keeps readers on edge, begging for more and more.  Ah, I look up to you!

I am also really impressed by how your story is not cliche at all.  You'd expect a story like this to make people roll their eyes in annoyance by how predictable and overused an idea like this is, but in all honesty it is not like that at all!  

There was this one part when Haemi met Lay and he was explaining to her that he was available on Mondays and Thursdays and then he tells her to meet up with him on Friday? 

"I'll see you on Friday," he said, flashing another smile to reveal a small dimple. "I'm Yixing by the way, but you can call me Lay." 

Characters 20/20

You introduce your characters very well!  I would always find myself struggling through a heart attack when a new boy made an appearance in the story, and also when some made reappearances. 

Your characters are wonderful.  I fell in love again with each boy each time you wrote them.  You portray their genuine personalities well.

Haemi is also a favorite character.  Usually, I dislike the main character (for some reason), but I really enjoy readiing about Haemi and her journey.  You make her seem like a girl that is very approachable and relatable.  

Flow 15/15

Your flow is incredible!  The writing was so smooth and easy to follow.  Not only that, but it was not dull at all.  You kept the ball rolling.  I almost cried while reading the very first chapter.  I don't know how I managed to survive the next eight.

Writing Skill 28/30

Ah, your grammar, punctuation, capitalization, etc. are gorgeous.  I've never been more in love with a story before.  I am only deducting two points because I did find some tiny mistakes.  You had the tendency of leaving out words. I have some examples:

"...considering that even the flashing memory of my best friend's arms around me was enough to make me squirm and (be) uncomfortable."

"Unfortunately, my best friend also lessened our time together when he began attending some fancy after-school program that aided young students in molding them (to) become trainees."

Sometimes your wording sounded a bit awkward. Ex.

"...it was like being lulled to sleep by a voice only perfection could sound."  A voice only perfection could sound?

I would also ask you to check a thesaurus from time to time.  Try to word/describe things differently. Whilst I read this outloud (to my sister) I would often find myself repeating the same word over and over.  Eventually, it came to the point where every smile was described as "sheepishly" or everyone was "furrowing their brows."

Description/Forward 5/5

I adore your description!  It speaks volumes in only a few short sentences.  Wow!  I really love it!

Title 5/5

What can I say about such a fitting title?  It is adequate and appropriate! 

First Impression 5/5

When you requested your review I was quite busy with a few others.  I looked at your story to get an idea of what I would be working with, and I immediately wished I hadn't been so busy.  I was so excited to read your story!  And you didn't let me down.  I had an amazing first impression.

Total: 98/100

I apologize if your review is so short!  I just have a really hard time reviewing such good works because there is nothing for me to point out and correct.

-wowsuga