Soojung and Sulli were best friends since their high school. It might not be like other friendship that started since their diaper years but one thing is for sure, they never let each other down. Whenever Sulli is hurt, Soojung will immediately go wherever she is. They went to food dates every weekend. Soojung will scold Sulli like a nagging mother whenever someone wants to court her saying they might just want to hurt her and Sulli listens every ing time. That might be the reason why she is still single. It’s not like she’s blaming Soojung, it’s just that sometimes she hates herself for not standing up for her own feelings. College days come by and they were enrolled in different universities. Soojung is focusing in business major while Sulli is taking Psychology. They got busy with their courses that have been the reason why they aren’t seeing each other just like before. Soojung has a new circle of friends and Sulli is glad with that.

At least I know there’s someone to look after Soojung whenever she’s not around.

That was Sulli’s thought at first but when the time Soojung choose her new friends over Sulli when she asked the younger one to have a weekend hangout, she got mad. But that doesn’t last though. Soojung surprise Sulli the next weekend and bring foods to her. It’s always like that because Sulli can’t stay mad to Soojung because she loves her.

Yes. Sulli loves Soojung more than a friend should. At first, Sulli is denial of her feelings. She just discovered it when Soojung met her cousin, Choi Sooyoung, and the two just instantly clicked. She just wants to talk to her best friend but Sooyoung is flirting with her and she can’t do anything about that. The whole night it was just Sooyoung and Soojung, no Sulli at all. That’s when she thinks why does she gets jealous every time Soojung is with someone but when Soojung looks and smiles at her, her heart beats races and that’s the moment she knew that she loved her.

~

She embraces the fact that she bends over her best friend but she can’t accept that her cousin feels the same as her and Soojung seems to like it. Soojung talks to her just when she it’s about Sooyoung.

“Hey Sulli.” They were in Sulli’s bedroom, just lazing around.

“Hmm.”

“I think…”

“You think what?” Sulli put down her tablet to look up to Soojung.

“Uh…”

“Promise me first you won’t be mad?”

“You eat my chocolate? You wear my favorite shirt?” Sulli asked as if teasing Soojung.

“What? NO!”

“Oi. You’re being defensive. I’m just kidding. You’re too serious. What is it?”

“Uh…” Sulli observe Soojung as the younger girl bit her lower lip. “Uh… I think I like Sooyoung”

Sulli is still busy looking at Soojung’s lips when a pillow hit her face.

“OW! What was that for?”

“Did you hear what I’ve said Choi Sulli?”

“Hehehe. What is it?”

“Ugh! I said I like Sooyoung!”

“Whaaaaaat?”

 That hurt Sulli’s feeling but she kept it to herself. She doesn’t want to interfere with Soojung’s happiness. The way Soojung’s eyes glistens whenever she talks about Sooyoung just makes Sulli fall deeper even though the girl was talking about other girl. It hurt her deeply but she smiled for Soojung.

~

Soojung and Sooyoung’s relationship keeps Sulli away from Soojung. She can’t compete with Sooyoung for Soojung’s time because she knows she’s happy.

Sulli’s staring at her phone intently. She’s been in this café for nearly two hours and Soojung isn’t coming yet. They set this day for their ‘date’ but Soojung is nowhere to be seen.

She’s been calling the younger nonstop but she just can’t contact her. When she stopped calling, she texted her cousin hoping that she knows where Soojung is. She just chuckled bitterly when she reads the reply.

“Oh, she’s with me now. We’re on a date. Why?”

~

Since then she’s always with Amber - the blonde tomboy- and they hangout a lot especially whenever Sulli is hurt by just seeing the SNS update of Soojung that’s being in love to her cousin.

“So, you’re sad again. What’s new this time?”

“Nothing’s new and I’m not sad.”

“Says the girl who barges in my apartment and have a lot of foods with her.”

“Oh cmon. Are you complaining that I’ve brought you foods?”

“Oh no dear. That’s not my point. You know what my point is.”

Sulli sighed and eat her food. Amber just let her after she sense that Sulli will not talk about it. She knows that Sulli will talk once she’s ready

“It’s their 100^th day Anniversary tomorrow.” Sulli said quietly.

“And?”

“And I’m sure they would be together the whole day.”

“It’s not like they weren’t together all the time.”

“It’s my birthday tomorrow.” Sulli softly murmured but enough to be heard by Amber.

“Happy Birthday then. We need to celebrate it for tomorrow.” Sulli grabs the nearest thing and throws it at Amber.

“Ouch. What the hell was that for?”

“You’re idiot.”

~

The next day, Sulli tries to be happy and smile at everybody who’s greeting her but she’s not really happy. She’s been waiting for Soojung to greet her since midnight but there’s none. She’s getting to be irritated the later the day went by especially when she and her friends at her house. She’s thankful to them but she’s not really in the mood to answer the same question that she herself didn’t even know the answer. She does not know where the hell Soojung is and why she is not greeting her, even if it’s simply happy birthday.

As time pass by, the people left and it’s only Amber and Hyun Woo who’s still at Sulli’s. They were having a drinking session when someone came, or should she call them a couple. Sooyoung and Soojung arrived and Soojung dives into Sulli immediately and squeeze the birthday girl. When Soojung felt that Sulli isn’t hugging her back, she faces the girl and cups her face.

“Seems like Baby Ssul is sulking because of my arrival tonight, are you mad?”

Sulli lightly pushed Soojung when she noticed the right mark on her neck. It just adds the fuel of the burning feelings inside her.

“Where did you come from?”

“Oh. Sooyoung and I just went on a date.”

Sulli takes a deep breath. The way Soojung said it was too carefree to her liking. It’s seems like Soojung ignores the fact that today is Sulli’s birthday.

“And what are you doing in here?”

“Oh cmon. It’s your birthday. Of course I’m here to celebrate it for you.”

“Reall—” Sulli was about to give in when Sooyoung comes out if nowhere.

“Hey cous. Happy Birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“Actually, we’re about to leave now. I’m sure Soojung is already tired.”

“What? Already? Can’t I stay here?” Soojung asked. She didn’t expect that they would be leaving soon.

“Your sister already texted me, asking to send you home already.” Soojung and Sulli knitted their eyebrows at the same time. The two knew well that Soojung’s sister, Jessica, never text, if she wants to say something, she would just call so there’s no way Jessica would text Sooyoung unless, her cousin is making up a story and wants to leave already.

“Jessi—”

“Alright then. Take care you two. Thanks for coming.”

“I’ll wait for you outside Soojung.” Sooyoung said as she hurriedly stepped out of the house.

Soojung back hug Sulli because the birthday girl seems won’t face her until she left. She felt something unpleasant inside her when the older ignore her.

“I’m sorry I can’t stay.” She mumbled quietly to Sulli.

“It’s okay.” Sulli said still not facing Krystal. She’s afraid that a tear will fall any minute. But Soojung is stubborn so she forced Sulli to face her. Soojung cups Sulli’s face, caressing it as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world.

“Happy Birthday Sulli.” Sulli only nod at her, she sighed at the girl’s action. Knowing that the girl will continue to be stubborn she just tiptoed and kiss Sulli’s forehead before releasing her from the hug.

“I love you Bessy.” When she hears the click of the door her tears immediately rolls down her cheeks.

“I love you Soojunga.” Sulli whispered to no one.

~

Three days after Sulli’s birthday, Soojung barged in to Sulli’s apartment. At first, Sulli gets annoyed because Soojung is ing around her. She knows that Soojung has a reason but she’s not in the good mood to pacify the sulking girl right now. Just when she’s about to ask in annoyed tone, Soojung buried her face in the pillow and starts sobbing. It was like she’s trying to keep all the emotion she’s feeling right now. Sulli’s heart softens at the sight. She just can’t ignore the crying Soojung because that’s what she hates the most.

She approaches the crying girl and embraces her. Sulli just let her cry. They used to just be quiet when someone is crying. She just rubs Soojung’s back trying to calm her. When she feels the other girl calmed down, she slowly retracted herself but Soojung tightens the hug.

“Don’t. Just stay like this for a moment please.” Sulli can only nod to the Soojung. She hummed their favorite song hoping that it would calm whatever Soojung is feeling right now. When she feels the light breathing of the other girl, she knew that she’s already sleeping so she carefully laid Soojung to bed and carefully leaving the room.

She’s hurting that Soojung is hurting but she can’t interfere to the other girl’s relationship. She knows that Soojung is crying because of Sooyoung. Now that she remembers her cousin, she can’t help but to be mad at her and also to herself. If it wasn’t because of her, the two wouldn’t even meet.

~

That incident happened for a few times again that it starting to get into Sulli’s nerve. Right now, Soojung is crying again at Sulli’s embrace. She managed to know that the two already broke up because Sooyoung’s being a jerk and taking Soojung for granted. Just because she knew that Soojung loves her she keeps on lying to her and flirting behind her back. It reach Soojung’s limit and she broke up to her.

Sulli is so mad that if she isn’t holding Soojung right now, she might beat up her cousin. Breaking Soojung’s heart is also breaking hers. She just can’t accept the fact that someone wasted Soojung’s love when that is all she wanted.

When Soojung finally calm down the two of them just cuddled each other at bed. Even if Sulli would deny, she knows in herself that she’s thankful that this happened, that the two of them were cuddling right now at her bed.

“Sulli-ah?” Sulli’s thought was interrupted by Soojung’s soft voice.

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t you fall in love with me before?” Sulli felt nervous at the question. She’s not ready to be caught about her feelings yet especially when Soojung just broke up with her cousin.

“Uh.. w- why are y-you asking that?” Sulli tries to hide her nervousness but she can’t even ask straightly.

“Because…” Soojung faces Sulli and looks sincerely in her eyes before taking a deep breath. “You might think that it’s my hurt feelings that talking but really, I loved you Sulli. I love you even before Sooyoung and I become a couple.”

Sulli couldn’t believe of what she’d just heard. Soojung loves her? No way…

“Are you serious?” Sulli asked, the doubts in her voice are noticeable, but Soojung ignore it because she’s saying the truth.

“Yes. I loveD you. Don’t worry it’s all in the past now.”

“There’s no way you’re saying that to me right now.”

“I just said Sulli. If you’re disgusted—” Soojung couldn’t finish what she’s about to say because Sulli captured her lips. Sulli kissed her as if transferring all the unsaid words through her kiss. It’s felt surreal. Sulli pulled away and looks at Soojung and she feels stupid when she’s not looking at her.

“I’m sorry.” Sulli whispered and untangled herself from Soojung. She’s about to stand up when Soojung pulled her back.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh… Just—” Soojung kissed her too that shocked her. She didn’t expect that Soojung would kiss her too.

“I take my words back. I still love you.” Sulli blushed at the girl’s words but frowned when she noticed the puffy eyes of Soojung and remembers why they were cuddling in the first place.

“What about Sooyoung?”

“I wouldn’t deny that I felt something for her. But when you kissed me, when you embraced me, whenever I’m with you there’s a funny feeling inside me that I never felt when I’m with her.”

“Then what are we now?”

“Can you help me to move on first?”

~~

It was a busy day on Amber’s new café. Everyone’s is working hard trying to please the queuing customer. Sulli and Hyun Woo are present too showing their support at their friend. Sulli felt so proud to her friend and she can’t help to smile. She’s helping the staff to entertain the customer. When the queue lessens she sits at the corner of the café and enjoys the scenery outside the café. She’s getting lost in her thoughts when someone kissed her cheeks.

“Hi babe. Thinking of me?”

“Oh Soojung, you’re so full of yourself.”

“That’s one reason why you love me though, wifey.”

~~~

i'm so sorry this is such a fail. this should be angst-y type because i'm actually mad when i started writing this for some reason. but it ended up like this. T________T

just enjoy it okay? :D thank you. 

leave comment please. :D

~~ @soojinrichrys