"KIM HEECHUL!"

As soon as Heechul stepped offstage and away from cameras, he was greeted with his managers furious face. 

"KIMH HEECHUL WE GAVE YOU A SCRIPT TO FOLLOW AND YOU DIDN'T SAY A DAMN THING FROM IT!"

Heechul stood firm bodly looking his manager in the eyes.

"WHY!? WHY DIDNT YOU FOLLOW IT!?"

Heechul sighed internally, he had expected this.

"it's all lies" he said simply

"Yes Heechul! I know! we all know! everyone knows that its all lies, whats your point!" His manager sounded more exhausted then angry. 
"why can't you just follow it like everyone else? You know your popularity hasn't been doing to well since the singing incident, so why cant you just do this?"
 

His manager had lost all his anger and was looking at Heechul through tired eyes. Managers were under rated, they learned there groups dances they stayed up longer then the idols did, they werent paid much at all, they made sure eveything would go well and they got blamed for anything that went wrong. 

"i'm not going to lie, Don't you remember what happaned to Leetuek after he followed the script?" Heechul scowffed

His manager paled, remembering the script that Leetuek had read claiming that Kim Yuna had turned down him down on a social media sight only to be caught out on the lie. 

"that was.."

"leetuek got blamed for it"

"yes, but.."

"He didn't want to say it"

"I know that Heechul, but.." His manager sighed not knowing what to say. Then he looked at Heechul and said.

"where just trying to make it easier for you and get your fans back, acting arrogant isn't going to do anything but start controversies" 

Heechul didn't say anything

"look I will talk to the company about it okay? lets go now, were behind on schedule."

Heechul walked with his manager from the variety show's set to the super junior van. A flurry of fans ran out to greet him hoping to catch a glimpse. When they saw Heechul they stopped abrubtly seeming a little scared and unsure. They stepped back letting him through but still calling out to him. 

Only once he was safely in the van, with its tilted windows concealing him from any cameras, did his trademark smirk fall from his face. Oh god he was so sick of it. The fans, they complained about his cocky attitude and his straight foreward personilty. The fans that told him that he should of dies when he had a car accident that questioned him being on the team because of his singing that mocked his dancing just after he had gotten out of hospital and tried his hardest to be onstage to please them. these were the sort of people telling him to fix his attitude? 

He arrived back at the dorm, 

"hyung!" Heechul looked up and saw Sungmin rushing over from the lounge. Kangin looked up and smiled before following him.

"Hey! I've been filming from 6am to now and and havent eaten all day and you two have been watching tv?!" Heechul scowled.

Sungmin and Kangin knew, despite his serious tone that there hyung was joking with them. 

"the others are still filming, you should be grateful" smirked Kangin

"you little! What is this!" laughed Heechul. this is why he didn't leave the group. His brothers. He may seem cold and harsh to outsiders but his brothers got to see his real warm-hearted side. a side few people got to see. He walked in to put his gifts he had recieved from fans down. He walked in to his room

"hey Hankyung, you .."

He stopped himself.

crap

did he really just do that? Did he really just call out to Hankyung? He left ages ago get a grip Heechul!

Carefully, without making a sound he turned to see if Kangin or Sungmin had heard his mistake. they were sitting infront of the TV. THey were watching some show Shindong was MCing. Laughing along. no, they hadn't heard Heechul's mistake. Heechul breathed out suddenly realising he had been holding his breath.

"Heechul!"

"Heechul!"

"KIM HEECHUL!"

what? 

Heechul opened his eyes. Had he actually fallen asleep before Super junior went onstage? It wasnt that surprising, last night he had an hour sleep before being awoken and rushed off to schedules. He sat in his stage costume backstage getting his hair and makeup done. There was a rush of movement as super junior prepared to go on stage. His manager finally haveing woken him up bent down and whispered

" A camera crew will be coming in soon, and they will also be here when you get offstage, be aware of the cameras."

He nodded, but it didn't mean anything. He wad always aware of the cameras, he couldnt even get changed without feeling paranoid. 

Heechul stood up and stiffled a laugh as he saw the staff mistake his manager for a member and was fixing his hair. 

Super Junior onstage in five!

The team gathered , doing there usual cheer. Heechul looekd up at s, offscreen they were becoming distant. they rarely saw eatch other, because of schedules and he couldn't remember the alst time they had all been together, apart from being onstage. 

Heechul was aware of the blinding lights and millions of fans as he walked in a cocky manner on stage his trademark smirk back on.

He had gotten used to being able to causally walk onstage as though he was entering a friends house rather then a live broadcast stage with millions of viewers. 
he didn't evevn feel nervous anymore. there performance was a blur and he walked offsage quite ecstatic. He loved it. He loved being onstage and being alltogether. But as soon as he got off he came crashing from his high. 

Onstage he forgot everything and just moved on instinct. Backstage his lack of sleep and food caught up with him.

I'm exhausted he relised, his body hurting painfully, from dancing all night, his eyes, oh god his eyes were so tired. He refused to close them as he and the group walked towards the camera crew. He was worried if he even blinked he wouldn't be able to open them again.

Heechul didnt even bother showering, he didnt care he got home to the dorm and collapsed onto his bed falling asleep instantly. Being onstage reminded him of why he got up at 2am in the morning to be driven to a fan meeting, why he smiled despite feeling completely run down. why he put up with crazy fans and poisoned food and blood letters sent by antis. But once, just once he would really like to sleep in.

He woke up at 5am to go to another variety show. he looked at his phone checking the internet. his tired eyes widened when he saw hate comments already from his previous veriety show.

"Heechul is going to far, its one thing to be honest and another to be plain rude"

"this is really too much! Why is he even on the team? he cant sing or dance all he does is bring the team down!"

"I'm a petal but seriously,he is out of line"

"don't listen he jsut wants attention" 

Fans dont often respound well to idols who aren't modest and too straight foreward.
Oh well. Heechul thought numbly. he didnt really care. but deep down maybe it hurt....just a bit.

His manager came by to pick him up.

"heechul?" he asked "what are you looking at? why are you smirking?"

Huh?

Oh, his face feel, god had he really been smirking?? it had become a bad habit. When he was in front of the camera too long he always had to keep his same smirk up, now he didn't even bother changing his expression. THe manager was till awaiting his answer.

"its nothing, lets go just go okay?" His manager nodded and the went down to the van.

On there way to the variety show he handed Heechul the script. 

"Follow it, Heechul, really its for the best"

Heechul read through it not replying. Usually he got on well with the manager but sometiems it got a little tense between them.

"did you get in trouble because of last time?" heechul asked

His manager laughed, Heechul knew he was forgiven.

"it's not me that will get in trouble heechul, its you, I dont want you do have to deal with the fans now you under enough pressure"

Heechul just nodded. 

Heechul onstage now!

Heechul walked onstage full of confidence smirking to the audience once before sitting down infront of the host.

"So Heechul, " the host began in a cheerful voice "tell us, whats the entertainment world really like?" 

Heechul glanced down at his script. It was full of praise for SM and talked postively about everything. with a few odd jokes about wanting to eat junk food and falling asleep in the bathroom. it was the standard answer. almost every idol said a version of it, it was the safest thing to say. Was he going to say it? Was he going to follow the script?

Pfffffffttt, no. Aftter all, he is Kim Heechul. 

I hope you enjoyed :) thanks for reading :)