Honestly, it’s all a blur.  

“Hey Kyungsoo, you’ll never believe what I heard,” my friend Taejoon told me.  

“What is it this time?”  I laughed.  Taejoon usually found the juiciest rumors and nonchalantly spread them amongst our group of friends in high school.  

“That transfer girl from Australia has a thing for you,” he snickered.  I casually took a bite of my apple and looked across the cafeteria at the tall girl Taejoon was referring to.  I doubted Taejoon, as usual, but I noticed something.  She quickly exchanged glances with me, and she blushed.

“So?”  I coughed.  

“So, ask her out!”  Taejoon practically screamed.  I didn’t want to face the wrath of Taejoon, so I had to obey.  

“I’ll take her on a date first.”  I stood up and made my way over to the girl.  “Hey, transfer.  Can I sit here?”

She turned to see if it was alright with her “friends” and nodded.  I sat beside her and curled my hands into fists on the table.  

“Transfer…  What’s your name again?”  I asked.  I guess I was being kind of rude, but I shrugged it off.  If she liked me, she wouldn’t mind. 

“Hana.  Kim Hana,” she answered.  “And you’re Do Kyungsoo?”  I nodded my head in response and she smiled.  I was going to ask her on a date, but she interrupted me.  “Don’t you know who I am?”  

I sat in silence and tried to remember Kim Hana.  Did I know her?  Her name didn’t ring a bell.  She shook her head and packed up her lunch.  

“Um…  You’re the really smart girl in math class,” I chirped.  I hoped it would be my escape.

It wasn’t. 

She sighed and ruffled her hair.  “I guess you don’t remember.  That makes me kind of sad,”  she admitted.  She got up and walked away.

She got.  Up.  And.  Walked.  Away.

No, no, no.  That’s not how Do Kyungsoo rolls. 

“You know, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime,” I unconsciously yelled across the cafeteria.  Everyone froze and stared at me.  I heard a couple of girls gasp; what can I say, I was the ladies’ man.  Until Jongin came along…  But that’s for later in the story.  

She turned with her eyebrows and eyelids pinched together.  “No,” she muttered.  

Just like that, I was rejected in front of the entire school.  When I got home, dad noticed me trudging.  

“What’s wrong, son?”  He asked while washing his hands.  He was getting ready to cook me dinner.  Not wanting to disobey protocol, I told the short story of how my day was ruined.  He patted my shoulder then pulled me into the kitchen.  “Kyungsoo, I’m sorry.  But these things do happen.  Now, finish cooking your dinner,” he told me.  His tone of voice was caring, but his lack of knowledge on girls failed to be of service to me.  Mom was, after all, the only girl he ever dated.  I finished making the kimchi stew and went into the living room to greet my mother.  She seemed lethargic, so I didn’t bother her much.

“Kyungsoo,” she mumbled as her eyelids started draping over her eyes and her head fell on my father’s shoulder, “You’re not allowed to go out tomorrow.  Some old friends are coming to visit.”

“But mom, I have plans,” I complained.  I really wanted to take myself to an expensive restaurant and eat my worries away with the money I’d saved over the last few months.  That’s how pathetic I felt. 

“Forget them,” she sighed and finally let sleep defeat her.  I groaned and finished off my night by washing dishes, studying, and crashing onto my bed.  

“Kyungsoo, wake up!  We have an hour ‘til mother’s friends get here and you haven’t even washed up!” The voice of my father rebuked.  I strolled over to the bathroom and took a long, sleep inducing shower.  I found myself dozing off a couple of times and slapped myself for it.  Soon, the doorbell rang and my eyes almost popped out of my head when I rushed to get dressed and run down to greet my mother’s friends.

There was Hana.  

There was Hana and her family, to be more exact.  And I realized why I didn’t remember her…

Because I didn’t want to.

Hana was my first love…  It sounds completely cheesy, but it’s totally true.  When we were on the playground, we would talk about marrying each other one day.  We’d slide down the slide together, swing together, and pretend we were always Mommy and Daddy.  I think we were about 7 years old when they moved away.  The day she told me she was moving was the day I thought the world was ending.  Her dad’s family in Australia was having it rough and they needed help.  I guess my small heart couldn’t take it, so I shut all memories of her out.  

Those memories busted through my doorway and attacked me again.  

“Come in, won’t you?” My mother welcomed.  

No, mom.  Don’t let them come in again.

No, Kyungsoo.  Don’t let her in again. 

Even though I was set on not associating with her, it happened.  I betrayed myself and befriended her again.  Over the next few days, she would visit, and after a week she brought up what had happened in the cafeteria.

“What was that all about?” She asked while jabbing me in the side with her finger.  We were at the movies, but the previews were all that faced us at the time. 

“I… I, erm, Taejoon told me to do it,” I confessed.  She pouted and leaned back in her seat.

“You’re such a maverick,” she sarcastically hissed.  I shrugged and felt her cold glare piercing my face.  “Then what is this?”

“What is what?”

“What is tonight?” She further questioned.  She had brought herself forward so she could look me in the eye.  

“Old friends catching up,” I lied.  It was convincing, though.  She believed it and sat back in her chair.  She didn’t speak to me the rest of the night.

Was she upset?  

She began ignoring me.  It was the worst possible time to ignore me because we were both supposed to be focusing on college applications.  All I could focus on was what was wrong with her.  The time came for us to graduate from high school and mom finally let out the big news at a graduation party that my family and her family held:

Hana and I would be attending the same college.  I smiled inwardly because I thought that college would be the facile solution to our problem.  

It wasn’t.  

I thought that I had been a contender for her heart all along, but, she found someone to flirt around with the moment we set foot on campus.  What hurt most was that over the break she’d accepted me as a friend and nothing else.  What did I do about this?  I found myself some new friends and kicked her out of my life again.  Sure, at Christmas and during the summer we’d see each other, but my life would be almost completely Hana free for the next two years.  Within those two years, the “cool” dorm, as people called it, became my bastion.  

The guys in the dorm were the best.  Joonmyun was the caring one.  Sehun was kind of annoying but his amazing humor saved him.  Baekhyun and Chanyeol had this bromance going on and were inseparable.  They refused to do almost anything apart—I guess that’s what best friends do.  Then, there was Jongin.  Jongin knocked around my mores a bit.  He wasn’t a bad boy, but he was definitely not a good boy.  He brought home girls, but he never let them move past the intense make-out session.  Although intimidating, he helped me without knowing it (because I wasn’t going to tell anyone about Hana.)  Even though Jongin didn’t know, he sensed I needed some occasional romance and took me out to meet some girls.  

Eventually, the habit became our dorm's thing.  We’d all walk around and pick up girls together.  It was weird, but it made me feel a little better inside.  One day, when Jongin was absent, I scored a girl at the mall that I prayed he wouldn’t lay a finger on.

That girl, of course, was Hana.

I’d tried over the past two years to keep her completely shut out, but I couldn’t help but worry about her when she broke up with her boyfriend.  Joonmyun was about to hit on her, but he saw my wide eyes gawking at her.

“Well, she’s obviously yours,” he chuckled.  “Go get her.” He pushed me a little and I stumbled my way over to Hana.

“H-Hana-ssi?”  I mumbled.  She stopped stuffing her face with Jajangmyeon and tried to smile.  It was nice to know that she could still smile at me, even though we’d both been jerks to each other for the past three years.  

“Kyungsoo?”  She said through the food in .  She grinned and ran to give me a hug.  “I never see you anymore!”  She pulled me in and I stood motionless.  When she pulled away, she tugged my arm over to sit with her.  “Guys, this is my childhood friend Kyungsoo.  Kyungsoo, Mimi and Maria.  They’re both transfers.”

I didn’t care about them, but I smiled and nodded to them.  They had to go to the bathroom so I sat with Hana.

“Hana…  How have you been?”  I sincerely asked.  I was tired of random girls now that I’d seen Hana.  She was my first love, and I’d always come back to her.  She frowned and turned to me.

“Not so great.  Honestly…  I’ve missed you.  And…  I’ve been incredibly sorry all this time.”

I sat back and crossed my arms in a gentle way.  “Sorry about wh-”

“For ignoring you senior year,” she interrupted.  I saw her tuck her hair behind her ear and in her lips.  “And because of me, we haven’t been college friends because I decided to turn the tables once college started.  And I’m really sorry,” she murmured while her eyes began to tear up.  She wasn’t one to cry easily, but she’d been under a lot of stress recently because of the breakup, so I let it pass.  I patted her back and laughed.  “Why are you laughing?”

“Because I thought of a solution.” I grinned.  She cocked her head in confusions.  “Joonmyun is taking a girl out tonight.  You and I can tag along, if you want.”  

“Then what does that make tonight?” She grinned.  I couldn’t help it and I squeezed her arm.

“I think…  I think that makes it a date,” I told her.  Her face lit up and I wanted to hug her as hard as possible, but I refrained.  I got up and bid farewell so I could go tell Joonmyun the plans.    

The night went fantastically.  We did a pleasant restaurant-and-movie date and Hana let me walk her back to her dorm.  When the night was over and it was time for her to walk through the dorm doors and leave me, she turned around and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.

“I’ve missed you, Kyungsoo,” she hummed.  She was nervous but happy.  I pulled her arm before she could walk away too quickly and gave her a kiss on the cheek that lasted for an extended amount of time.  I couldn’t help but bring out seductive Kyungsoo when I decided to whisper in her ear.  

“I’ve missed you, too.”  With that, she stepped back and scurried away into the dorm.  

She liked it.  Mission accomplished.  

I kept trying to schedule a second date with her, but she kept turning me down.  The only time I was allowed to visit her was at breakfast, so I did.  I soon found out why she was so busy, too.  

“Kyungsoo, it pays well,” she argued.  

“I didn’t know you were so venal,” I hissed.  I tore apart the paper she had written for some random student and slammed my fist on the table.  “Damn it, Hana!  You could get expelled!”

“But I won’t!”  She shot back.  I ran my fingers through my hair and groaned.  

“What do you even need the money for, anyway?” 

“Why do you think my family left for Australia?!”  She yelled.  My back hit the wall in surprise.  “Listen, Kyungsoo.  My family in Australia is living in incredibly penurious conditions.  Dad is trying to help them, but he’s also trying to pay for the damn college tuition.  That’s why I need the money!  I want to pay him back!  And writing these stupid papers is the best way out for me.  I made  1,130,329 Won last week, for crying out loud!”

“But…” I sighed in frustration.  I walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders.  Without me knowing it, I was massaging her.  “Just please…  Stop.  Find an actual job if you want to help your dad out.”

“But I’m scared,” she squeaked.  “I’m scared of going out into the world by myself.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“I don’t want to drag you around everywhere I go!  That’s rude!”  She howled.  She turned to hit me.  I caught her fist and pulled her into a hug.

“You’re way too violent,” I laughed.  “I don’t care.  I’ll go with you.”  I indulged in the scent of her and kept my arms tightly wound around her.  She gave in and finally molded her body against mine.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into my shoulder.  I squeezed her tighter and she groaned.  “I said thank you.  I didn’t say to kill me with kindness!”  She began lightly hitting my back with her palms and I released her.

“You’re welcome,” I grinned.  “So…  How about that second date?”  

I felt lame, but I was still too scared to take Hana out on a date with just the two of us.  So, I managed to let Jongin do a double date with us.  I was curious about his original date, though.  He hadn’t invited anyone else to come, which was something new for him.  I asked to come, though, and he didn’t deny me.  Neither did his date.  In fact, she even consulted me about it.

“Kyungsoo?”  I heard a pleasant voice through his phone.

“Ah, yes?  Eunbi?”  

“Thank you so much!  Don’t tell Jongin, but I was nervous about the date tonight.  I’m glad you and your date can come along.  What’s her name again?”

“Erm, Hana,” I told her.  

“Okay, Hana.  Got it.  Alright, no more talking to me.  Just smile and nod while I tell you a couple of things.  I’m a matchmaker.  If I see that you two have a thing, I’m pushing you together.  Hope you don’t have a problem with that.  I have no intentions of becoming serious with Jongin, but I must admit I’m rather curious of the lady charmer all the girls talk about.  Therefore, you and Hana will act as the buffer from awkwardness when Jongin and I get… Awkward.  Is that okay?”  She asked politely.  I felt like I was being ordered around, but it was cute, so I agreed to it and thanked her before I handed the phone back to him.  Something was different about the way Jongin pressed his ear back to the phone, but I didn’t think much of it.  I was too elated about going on another date with Hana.  

Jongin and I dressed casually, but we still looked nice.  Hana seemed to copy the Girls’ Generation 'Gee' style.  It was so cute on her that I almost pinched her ears, but I resisted.  Jongin’s date, on the other hand, seemed like quite the little punk—in a good way, of course.  Her ripped jeans, t-shirt and converse displayed an almost gothic character, but I soon realized that I was wrong when she skipped over to greet Hana and I. 

"You're Kyungsoo, and you're Hana. Hana... Hana! You're a halfy, aren't you?" Eunbi asked.  

Hana smiled and nodded. "I am! My dad is Australian.  And you?" 

Eunbi flashed a grin that I could tell Jongin was infatuated with.  “Sure am!  My dad’s American.”  

Eunbi seemed to have everything under control, which made me nervous.  How could this girl, after knowing Jongin for a short while, already be so comfortably on a date with him, while I couldn’t make an outstanding version of myself appear when I was on a date with Hana?  I was so nervous that I began talking to Jongin about random things I’d heard Sehun say and watched Eunbi and Hana exchange glances.  

Women and their telepathic skills with each other.

Eunbi begged Jongin to play games with her.  He tried denying her, but I knew what was really going on.  He was secretly enjoying her slight touch on his arm and her cute begging.  Eventually, a more demanding side of her killed the cute side of her and Jongin was taken away.  I thought I was going crazy, but I knew that Eunbi was someone Jongin wouldn’t be able to walk away from.  Hana coughed and stirred me out of my thoughts.

“That’s some girl,” she laughed.  “Do you think Jongin will survive?”  We both turned and saw the two of them bickering.

“Not a chance,” I honestly said.  Hana laughed and traced her right index finger around the rim of her water glass.  

“So…  Kyungsoo…” She said softly.  I rested my elbow on the table and leaned my head on my hand.

“Yes?”

“I’m not very good at these games,” she shyly admitted.  I patted her back and laughed.

“A lot of people aren’t, but they still pay to play them and lose money.”

“No, not those games.”  She blushed and I stared at her, captivated by the moment.  “I need to tell you something.”  She readjusted herself and grabbed my left hand.  

“What?”

She then said things that both hurt me and made me happy.  “I wasn’t really dating Luhan.  We both had people that we wanted to make jealous, so we both used each other.  When you started dating around,” she paused and inhaled, “we just pretended to get more serious.  And then the girl he wanted finally confessed to him.  I had to let him go…  The funny thing is, I don’t think I ever made you jealous…  And yet, you still came to me after I broke up with him.”  She turned away and saw Jongin and Eunbi walking back over.  “Shh. We’ll continue this later.  They’re back.”

In absolutely no way was I going to get angry with Hana.  I’d just gotten her back and I wasn’t going to jeopardize our future.  For the rest of the night, Hana and I both played along with the happy atmosphere that Jongin and Eunbi emitted.  On the walk back to Hana’s dorm, we both remained silent and listened to the chirping of the sounds of night.    She almost left me without a goodbye until I broke the silence. 

“Hana,” I called out.  She stopped and turned to face me.  

“I’m sorr-“ she began.

Before she could finish, I lightly placed my lips on hers.  

“I’ve missed you, Hana,” I hummed while pulling away.  She looked at the ground and smiled.  Finally, she looked back up and gave me a short kiss in response.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered.  She pushed me as if I needed to scurry away and walked back into her dorm.  

Just like that, first love prevailed.  Jongin got pretty jealous of the time I had with Hana.  Eunbi was always out and about, but she definitely had his heart on a leash.  She even got all of my friends attached to her.  For example, she’d gotten Baekhyun and I to join a local church choir.  After my proposal to Hana, Jongin got even more jealous.  Sure enough, he proposed to Eunbi eight months after my proposal.  They really deserved each other, and what Jongin will never know is how jealous I was of how trusting they were of each other from the beginning, because Hana and I obviously had to build a bridge to get there.  But, things worked out, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Oh, and that bridge—it’s never coming down.   

A/N: Yay!!!  I hope you enjoyed this short + sweet Dod.o. fic!  <3  If you haven't checked out the story it's tied to, make sure to check out 'Read Yourself To Me!"
Hwaiting! 
~exoticelfinspirit~