Whiskey Lullaby
         by amber_rose
         Super Junior || SNSD
         Siwon x Sooyoung | romance
         OneShot | Complete
         Score: 93.5%   ♪ 총 맞은 것처럼 (Like being shot by a bullet)
       by Baek JiYoung BRIEF REASON FOR FEATURING

      This story was just so sad. Though not the most original idea, it definitely caught me off guard and I must admit it shocked me. It's gotta be one of the best stories out there because the emotions, the feels, the words were so real. It's a rather long one-shot but for its length, it's REALLY good. I almost cried at the end, but that's just me being heartless but it seriously moved me to tears. Gah, it's a story I could read over and over again and the same emotions would be kindled each and every time I read it. Seriously give this story a try. It's a really sweet, but tragic story.

Title (5/5):

The title had my attention from the start. It’s very unique and intriguing. Something that is actually eye-candy. When I first saw your request, I was actually looking forward to reading your story and wow, it did not disappoint. Not only that but you managed to make it relevant to the story. The lullaby, different every time, that Sooyoung sang to Siwon was very sweet and consistently mentioned throughout the story, emphasizing its importance. Forgive me if I am wrong as there are multiple ways readers try to interpret titles to the actual story, but for my interpretation, whiskey itself has multiple varieties, using multiple grains to create such drink. Sooyoung sang a different lullaby to Siwon every time she sang to him. In addition, whiskey is known to be the “water of life”. The lullabies were the melodies that kept him alive while Sooyoung was his life. She was his sanity. Thus, in my opinion, Whiskey Lullaby was an exquisite title for this story in the overall sense. Amazing job! ^^

 

Description/Forward (8.5/10):

I believe that your description could actually be used as the forward. It's great! It seriously made me want to click on the NEXT button, but I just think it would work better as the forward. The description usually consists of a brief overview of the story that would attract the readers. The forward is usually where you provide the insight into your story, or part of a story that is either the or an eye-candy moment that will lead your readers to click the NEXT button. Umm…for the description, I think it would be awesome if you perhaps introduced your characters like you did in your one-shot. Like include a summary version of that small portion you used to introduce your characters. Something like this maybe?:

 

She was Starbucks Frappuccino. He was Johnny Walker whiskey.

They should have never crossed paths since their paths were anti-parallel. But fate had something different up its sleeves, playing its tricks, weaving our paths to meet.

The rest was history.

 

I thought that portion of the actual story, the one where you started Sooyoung's and Siwon's story was an awesome introduction and maybe a summary of that alone could be the description. It’s totally up to you on whether or not you want to use this. I am just providing feedback. Perhaps you may not want to use the words I used. Use it how you want, or not at all if you prefer not to..

 

Originality/Creativity (8.5/10):

Mob and gang stories are not new ideas. Siwon’s involvement with the mobs were definitely not novel. In fact, it was inevitable that the ending would either be a happily ever after or Siwon dies at that point. However, you had your own twists to make it very creative. First of all, Siwon’s true identity caught me by surprise. The way you portrayed it in the description and halfway through Sooyoung’s story made it sound like Siwon was truly a criminal (which he was in a sense). I mean, I guess the whole concept isn’t new, but you made me believe that he was a mobster until the police revealed his identity. I literally felt my heart drop when I read into it x.x In addition, the lullabies helped with your creativity. I’d say that Sooyoung’s side of the story was actually quite creative. I really liked how you made the lullabies a central part of the story.

 

Storyline/Plot(17/20):

I have a tendency to predict moments in time when I read stories, and I tend to get most of them right