I Love You

"Hyukkie!! Come look at this!" Donghae tugged at Eunhyuk's arm and pointed furiously in all sorts of directions. Eunhyuk shook his head and rolled his eyes but followed the excited Nemo nonetheless. 'Donghae looks so cute, it's hard to reject him', he thought as a smile graced his lips. Donghae managed to pull them from the entrance of a shopping complex to the end of the street in just 2 minutes, where they stopped in front of a pet store. Eunhyuk gave Donghae a look, despite the smile that remained on his face.

"Donghae, are you serious? You know Lee Teuk-"

"NOOO!!! Hyuk, I promise that I won't let him find out! I swear, it'll be as if it never existed," Donghae begged, pouting slightly. "Besides, you promised!" Eunhyuk sighed as he knew this to be true. He had made a stupid promise to Donghae that on his next birthday, he would buy a puppy for him. Donghae was so excited at the time, he latched himself onto Eunhyuk for the entire week, not letting him go for anything - which of course leaded to the invasion of his privacy on sleep and other personal activities.

Before Eunhyuk could even begin listing out the endless possibilities of them getting caught, Donghae had already ran into the shop, ogling at every puppy he thought was adorable or simply irresistible. Eunhyuk followed behind him, chuckling whenever Donghae stopped at the sight of a puppy for a particularly long time, imitating the voices they were making. He secretly wondered who the adorable one here was: Donghae or the puppies.

"Hyukkie, look at this!" Eunhyuk snapped out of his little Donghae-wonderland-dream and turned his head at the familiar voice, only to burst out laughing at the sight presented before him. Donghae had his whole face practically mushed up against one of the small viewing windows at the corner of the store, where it was quiet compared to all the other areas which were filled with endless puppies yapping and such. When Eunhyuk managed to sober up enough to reach the younger's side, he noticed the small frail ball of fur resting peacefully in the display. Eunhyuk peeked at Donghae who was so transfixed by the puppy that his mouth was hanging wide open and he didn't even notice it. His eyes were sparkling and Eunhyuk knew that they definitely weren't going to leave the shop without having at least brought this particular one back with them.

Donghae on the other hand was too preoccupied with the puppy to say or feel anything else. He felt a certain affinity to it the moment his eyes landed on the soft curls of the puppy's fragile body. It looked barely a year old and was so tiny it was just precious. Donghae's eyes sparkled even more with each shallow intake by the pup. His breath hitched when the little figure fluttered its eyes opened and stared at Donghae. Electricity could be felt as the two locked gazes, the pup breaking the contact to yawn cutely before snuggling back into its blanket, trying to fall back asleep. Donghae squealed. Like really, really, squealed. This was the one. It just had to be. It was just so damn perfect. Like Eunhyuk.

"Hyuk, this is the one," Donghae cooed as he continued to stare at the seemingly perfect ball of curly fluff only inches away from is touch. "I swear, he so perfect, just like you."

Eunhyuk frowned as pink dusted his cheeks. He pretended not to have heard Donghae and just looked around the shop, his hands already unconsciously reaching for Donghae's as they entwined together naturally, in perfect synchronicity. Donghae squeezed Eunhyuk's hand to grab his attention and pointed at the sweet fur ball again.

"Hyuk, I swear, if you buy this for me, I will take care of it as if it were my own baby and I'll name it after you." Eunhyuk hit Donghae's head playfully but smiled nonetheless. Who the hell would name a dog after an anchovy like him?

"No," Eunhyuk shook his head, earning a pout from Donghae. "Let's call it Nemo. Like how your fans call you." Because it's just as cute as you, Eunhyuk thought but he didn't say that out loud. Donghae wrinkled his nose and shook his head furiously.

"Hyuk, this is a d-o-g," Donghae said slowly, gesturing to the dog as he did so since he thought Eunhyuk had lost his mind. "We can't name him after a fish."

Instead of arguing back with him and risking the probability of Eunhyuk spilling out his previous thoughts, he let go of Donghae's hand and stuffed his own in his pockets, causing Donghae's brows to come together.

"Why don't we talk about all this after we buy the dog? You do realise we look like a married couple looking at their new born baby who's being kept in the nursery." Eunhyuk didn't intend to say that last part out but it came to him just like that; it just came out. They both blushed at the comment but said no more as they walked over to the shopkeeper to tell them about their order.

No more than a minute of briefing and another few minutes of buying necessary items, the small furry pup was safely placed in Donghae's arms, snoozing soundly as the boy cooed at the adorableness, Eunhyuk staring at him with a goofy smile in turn.

They walked back silently, lost in their own world of happiness. It wasn't until they had reached the doors of the SM building did reality hit them. They had no idea how to sneak the puppy in, let alone the dorms. The two of them looked at each other and gulped. Forget Lee Teuk, if their manager found out, they would be on the receiving end of hell.

"Hyuk, how are we going to get him past the front doors? The building is strictly pet free; we'll never make it to the dorms," Donghae looked at Eunhyuk worriedly. The look on Donghae's face was of pure agony and it clawed at Eunhyuk's heart, making him feel bad for not thinking it thoroughly when they bought the pup. He had been so immersed in making Donghae's dream come true and just dreaming of Donghae's perfect smile which he got the privilege to see every day that he completely forgot about the first obstacle - manager-nim.

Eunhyuk's eyes hardened and he stared at Donghae seriously. "No," he said, shaking his head as Donghae's face changed from worried and downcast to confusion. "We can do this together, Donghae. We can definitely get past anything." A smile curved up on Donghae's lips and Eunhyuk sighed in relief. That was one problem solved.

"Anyway, the puppy is still asleep, right?" They both looked down at the snoring ball of brown fur in Donghae's arms. "Good. We can put him in your jacket and sneak him in no problem. He's still a pup so he won't bark too much. It's perfect."

Donghae then broke into a hundred-watt grin and side-hugged Eunhyuk, cautious of the fragile ball in his own arms. "Eunhyuk, you're the best! I told you you're perfect!"

"As if," Eunhyuk scoffed. "How is that possible with you around? You're definitely the best." The silly boys grinned at each other for what seemed like forever till they finally set their grand master plan into action. It was a good thing they decided to leave the things in the store to pick up later. Otherwise, they would have to make up some crazed up tale about the contents within the bags without seeming suspicious.

"I'm really glad I'm doing this with you, Eunhyuk," Donghae said as Eunhyuk helped him slide the puppy in without waking it. Once it was cushioned nicely in Donghae's jacket, warm and still sound asleep, Eunhyuk looked up at Donghae and smiled, poking his cheek lightly.

"Just because I let you get a puppy doesn't mean you have to say cheesy lines like that, Donghae." Eunhyuk chuckled as Donghae pouted and stomped his foot lightly.

"Yah, what do you mean 'have to'? Those are my true feelings, Hyukkie!" Donghae playfully punched Eunhyuk's arm as the older boy laughed. "And it's not mine; it's ours. We still have to name it."

Eunhyuk blushed slightly at the word 'ours'. The way Donghae said it was as if the puppy really was their baby, but of course that's not possible. Nevertheless, Eunhyuk was practically glowing after Donghae said that. He ignored Donghae's question and quickly pushed him through the SM doors, swiping his card while muttering a quick, "Hurry up before the puppy falls." Eunhyuk sounded generally worried for the pup and it made Donghae a thousand times better about getting it.

Truth to be told, Donghae never even thought about getting a puppy; it was strictly forbidden in the entire building and Lee Teuk would kill them if he ever found out. The only reason he wanted to get a puppy was to have an excuse for spending even more time with Eunhyuk than necessary. The two of them were already inseparable but if they had a responsibility between them - plus the huge secret they would have to share - Donghae felt that he could get even closer to Eunhyuk, his long-time love.

Donghae had always been in love with Eunhyuk, ever since their eyes met. Donghae felt the spark when their eyes made contact, and he definitely thought Eunhyuk was the most handsome person he's ever seen. Having that said, it had been years and he had yet to confess. Donghae was 100% sure Eunhyuk was his true love - soul mate, even. If Eunhyuk were to reject him, he might as well die because from then on, things would become so awkward, it would kill Donghae slowly anyway. He was pretty much satisfied having Eunhyuk as a best friend if it meant sticking to him like glue without making things awkward. Heck, he could climb into Eunhyuk's bed, snuggle up and hug him from the back and fall back asleep but nothing would change between them. It was almost perfect, if not the fact that Eunhyuk didn't know about Donghae's feelings. But for now, it was more than enough. Seeing that gorgeous smile was enough for Donghae to make it through the day.

Donghae snapped out of his fluffy train of thought when Eunhyuk called his name. Donghae blinked a few moments and blushed as he realised that Eunhyuk was merely inches away from him. He willed his face to go back to its original shade and for his heart to just calm its together. It had been years and Eunhyuk still had this effect on him. Donghae was sure as hell that Eunhyuk was the one.

"Earth to Donghae, we're at the dorms now," Eunhyuk said with a snarky smile. "So what now? Shall we test our acting skills?"

Grinning like some madman, Donghae nodded his head enthusiastically and went behind Eunhyuk and threw himself on him, saying, "Forward march, my dearest anchovy!" as Eunhyuk laughed and did as he was told. They burst through the doors with such force, all heads snapped up to look at them, expecting something. Not such a smart move, they both thought as they plastered forced grins on their faces.

"Oh, hey Donghae, Eunhyuk." Lee Teuk gave them a nod of acknowledgement as did the others together with their mumbles of greetings.
"So did you guys get anything?" Yesung looked around them, trying to see if they held any bags or new items.

"Uh, no. Sadly, we didn't see anything nice. Right, Eunhyuk?" Donghae nudged Eunhyuk with his elbow, hoping that his crush would save him now. Eunhyuk flinched and Donghae thought for sure that they were going to get found out but lucky for him, Eunhyuk caught up soon after and started rambling his own made up story.

"Yeah, there wasn't much to see; just food and other stuff we already have. Can you believe how many imitations there are around the street? They make all the branded clothes we bought look like total rip-offs," Eunhyuk started, as the others nodded along, not really paying attention since fashion wasn't exactly their favourite topic. Yesung who was standing the closest to them looked at them suspiciously but shrugged it off and started looking for Ryeowook to ask what's for dinner. It was only then that the two noticed how late it had gotten; it was 15 minutes past 6. They'd spent about 3 whole hours outside.

"Eunhyuk and I are gonna be in my room so just knock when dinner's ready," Donghae said as he pushed Eunhyuk towards Donghae's room and slammed the door shut. Not even a second later, Donghae's head popped out from inside. "Actually, on second thought, start dinner without us. We'll come out when we're hungry." The door shut once again and the members of Suju were left curious and puzzled.

"Phew, safe at last," Donghae breathed a sigh of relief as he slid down the door and slowly opened his zip to reveal the little pup who was still miraculously asleep. How the little puppy managed to sleep through all that will forever remain a mystery to the boys but for now, having it stay quiet was convenient more than anything to both the boys.

"Hey, lemme have a look, Donghae." Eunhyuk had his arms already outstretched and was scooting closer to Donghae who was leaning against the door, staring at the pup lovingly as he its soft curls.

Donghae was so lost in his own thoughts that when he lifted up his head to see Eunhyuk's face barely an inch away from his own, his face turned bright red immediately. Eunhyuk, however, was unaware of this spectacular moment - thank god, Donghae thought - and had his eyes fixated on the puppy, brows going up and down as he thought about several things.

Donghae gulped inwardly. He was definitely not thinking about how soft Eunhyuk's hair was that he would just oh so love to smell all day long or about how y and amazing Eunhyuk's collarbones looked since they were peeking out of his low cut v-shaped neckline sweatshirt now that his other clothes were shredded and he was so not thinking about how fantastic it would be if he could just bury is face in the perfect spot between Eunhyuk's neck and shoulder which would definitely fit him because he was totally made for Eunhyuk. Yup, he was definitely not thinking about that and various other thoughts of wanting to touch Eunhyuk that were constantly swimming in his head.

As Eunhyuk slowly broke into a small grin, Donghae felt his temperature spike up even more. He thought about how lucky he was to be able to see that slow wonderful smile that graced Eunhyuk's lips, the way the corners curved up into cute little hooks that held the grin in place and how Eunhyuk's eyes sparkled and twinkled so adorably it took Donghae all he had to not blurt out his overwhelming feelings of want and need and just attack Eunhyuk right there in front of the entrance to Donghae's own bedroom floor.

"Yah, Donghae! Why won't you give him to me?" Donghae refocused his eyes and saw that Eunhyuk still had his arms outstretched with nothing in them yet.

'Maybe because I want to be the one in your arms instead,' Donghae thought but he shook the idea off as fast as it came. Wordlessly, he let Eunhyuk take the puppy and he never once regretted doing so. The happiness that shown on Eunhyuk's face when the pup turned and snuggled into his arms made Eunhyuk give out a low chuckle and poke the puppy lovingly, making Donghae fall for Eunhyuk even more if that was even possible.

"What should we name it, Donghae?" Eunhyuk looked up and Donghae frantically wracked his brain for a decent name but came up with nothing.

"Uh...how about Eunhae?" Donghae joked, since that was basically the only thing he could think of right then - him, Eunhyuk, together. Just perfect.

"Eunhae?" Eunhyuk repeated as he laughed, looking at Donghae skeptically. "Seriously, Donghae?"

Feeling slightly offended, Donghae pouted. "Yah, why not? You said Eunhae was real before! This can be proof!"

Eunhyuk pondered over the question as he looked at the little puppy. "I don't know...it doesn't look like either of us."

"Well, let's name it Hyuk Jae then," Donghae mentally gave himself a pat on the back for that comeback. "It's my favourite name in the world."

Eunhyuk had to avoid choking on his own spit because of what Donghae blurted out. "Yah, what was that, Donghae?" He looked up to see Donghae smiling, though his eyes held nothing but seriousness. Eunhyuk gulped. It was the little things like this that always made him hopeful that someday, things would go right and everything would fall into place perfectly. But of course, things hardly ever went his way, so he shouldn't get ahead of himself. So to distract himself, Eunhyuk glanced down at the puppy and realised something so obvious, he could punch himself for forgetting it.

"Donghae, is the puppy a 'he' or a 'she'?" Donghae's eyes widened as he realised that he too didn't bother to check with the pup's gender at the store.

"I don't know. Let's check." It was easier said than done though. Despite looking so fragile and frail, it took them some time to unwrap the puppy's limps from around its body. The puppy whimpered as the cold air in Donghae's room hit it and struggled to re-wrap its paws around itself once more. Once the boys checked and made "Ahhhh" sounds of realisation and understanding, they let its limbs go and the puppy grabbed this chance to roll into an even smaller ball and turned in Eunhyuk's arms so that only its back was exposed to the cool air.

"See, I knew Hyuk Jae would perfect for him," Donghae smiled triumphantly as Eunhyuk shoved him lightly and laughed sarcastically.

"Yeah, right. What'll happen when we take it for a walk?" Eunhyuk's face flushed a bit at the thought of spending the whole day just with Donghae and their pup.

"You're pretty much a dog too so I guess it's fi-" Donghae didn't even finish before Eunhyuk started hitting him with his balled up fists. Donghae was guffawing as Eunhyuk repeatedly asked, "Who's a dog? Huh?! How dare you Lee Donghae!!"

"I-I'm just kidding!" Donghae exclaimed in between laughs. "I give, I give! Calm down, Eunhyuk-ah!" After hitting Donghae for a suitable amount, Eunhyuk stopped and resumed his place on Donghae's bed with the puppy on his lap, having the pup stir a little as the two boys were pretty loud.

"So...Eunhae?" Eunhyuk asked Donghae once more. His tone was that of incredulousness and Donghae noticed this too. So, Donghae kneeled in front of Eunhyuk, stuck his bottom lip out and pleaded Eunhyuk with his puppy dog eyes. To Eunhyuk, it was just simply adorable and Donghae's quivering lips was just testing his patience. At that moment, Eunhyuk wanted nothing more than to profess his undying love to Donghae - much like Juliet, but he didn't mind - and just pray for the best and hope beyond belief that he'll get a small kiss out of Donghae. But even if Eunhyuk was drunk, he wouldn't dream of doing so for he would risk everything precious to him; Donghae, Eunhyuk's love for him and Donghae's time. So instead of doing all those dangerous and risky dramatic actions, Eunhyuk settled for a simple nod of the head.

And Eunhyuk was definitely glad he gave Donghae that nod - the smile he received afterwards was simply breath-taking. Enough said.

"Eunhae! Yah, Eunhae, come over to daddy!" Donghae said playfully as Eunhyuk chuckled and fake coughed in disgust. The little puppy had grown more active over the month, despite its lack of barking. Both Eunhyuk and Donghae were concerned about this, wondering if they should bring him over for a check-up but on the other hand, it was still convenient for when they had to hide him in either one of their rooms. He'd taken all of his shots, so there wasn't really a need for a medical check-up; all the more reason for Eunhyuk and Donghae to spend most of their free time with their 'baby' Eunhae in the park.

Eunhae had gotten used to his name relatively quickly. He liked to pick Eunhyuk's and Donghae's room to sleep in alternately, which mostly resulted in the both of them just sleeping together since Donghae was bound to do that almost every morning anyway. This turn of events pleased the both of then to no end, even if they didn't voice it out directly. Every night, without the knowledge of the other, Donghae and Eunhyuk would secretly thank God for sending down the hidden guardian angel and Cupid which was what had actually become of Eunhae the puppy. His very presence made Donghae and Eunhyuk closer than ever and that, was a little miracle on its own.

"Ew, Donghae. What does that make me, then? The brother? I thought you said I was an anchovy?" Eunhyuk kid as he led the hyperventilating pup over to Donghae, to which the puppy responded with a pounce and countless all over Donghae's face. Chuckles resounded within Donghae's chest and Eunhyuk just stood there, enjoying the adorable view he got and also mentally scolding himself for feeling even the slightest bit of jealousy towards the puppy since it was getting all the action he wanted. 'Eunhae can plant all the kisses he wants on Donghae and get away with it', Eunhyuk thought. 'But I bet all I'll ever get is rejected and also, a broken heart.'

"I'm jealous, why doesn't mommy get anything?" Eunhyuk suddenly blurted out. His eyes widened and he slammed his mouth shut. Luckily, Donghae didn't look like he'd heard Eunhyuk - he was so absorbed in complimenting their puppy, saying how much he loved him and how much he loved this little family. Eunhyuk blushed. 'Donghae has no idea how appealing that idea sounds to me.'

And that was how the two would spend each weekend. Of course, the other members got curious - the two of them were little literally stuck at the hip, taking frequent showers (though it wasn't necessary with their rather relaxing schedule) and even offering to do the housework together - but pushed it off; the two were already inseparable before, it wasn't even surprising to see them tangled in bed together anymore.

Eunhae started barking not long after getting familiar with his 'parents'. It caused some problems so to cover it up, Donghae and Eunhyuk decided to watch dog related everything (movies, pet shows, books, even magazines and talk shows) so that whenever barking could be heard, they'd just lie about watching a dog related video or show. But it wasn't like they minded or anything. Hell, it was so damn perfect - like a bright ruby red cherry on top of a chocolate fudge ice cream mountain kind of perfect. Settling in every week to snuggle up to each other while watching all sorts of dog related stuff, hugging and grasping for what little warmth they could provide each other during long cold nights and just dreaming and getting ecstatic when it was drawing near to the weekend where they would get to be a happy family in the park for at least 24 hours, if not more. Nothing could've beaten the heightened peak of happiness the two felt during those memorable weeks-turned-into-months.

Eunhae was smart and he knew all the commands, yes, but what was special about Eunhae were the special commands Eunhyuk and Donghae taught him personally. Commands like: anchovy, Nemo, monkey and even a really stupid one: 'Eunhae isn't real'. Anchovy and monkey were commands Donghae thought, teaching Eunhae to kiss Eunhyuk for him, secretly being Donghae's love messenger for whenever his thoughts got out of control and he wished to kiss Eunhyuk senseless and to no end. Nemo was of course thought by Eunhyuk, who cunningly thought Eunhae to fetch Donghae from wherever he was at and make him snuggle next to Eunhyuk while Eunhae laid outstretched on both their laps, not letting either of them change positions. 'Eunhae isn't real' was probably the stupidest yet most adorable thing Eunhyuk and Donghae had ever thought Eunhae. Whenever that phrase was said, Eunhae would get into a fighting stance and start growling and barking non-stop, as if to go against the very suggestion.

And everything was perfect, the both of them felt content and happy.

"Donghae, wait up! Eunhae is still young, he can't possibly run that fast!" Eunhyuk reprimanded with his hands on his hips, much like a responsible mother.

"Yeah, but with all treats we've been feeding him, Eunhae looks like a balloon! He needs to lose weight. Fast," Donghae yelled over his shoulder like a carefree father would as he broke into a grin, running alongside the pup that was indeed not as skinny as when he was bought.

"He's perfect; you both are! Don't you dare just use this stupid excuse for 'secret weight losing time', Lee Donghae!" Eunhyuk said sternly this time and Donghae halted. He slowly turned around and trudged back, Eunhyuk meeting him halfway.

"Aww, you found me out." Donghae pouted. "Eunhae, your 'mom' is too smart for his own good."

"Oh shut up," Eunhyuk snorted as he patted Donghae playfully on his back. "C'mon. You're both breathless after that run. Let's walk back home slowly."

This time, both Eunhae and Donghae whined as they gave Eunhyuk their puppy dog eyes. "Hyuk Jae-ah~ We need to get y and manly! Let's just have one quick race back and-"

"No races," Eunhyuk cut Donghae off as he poked his nose with a smug smile on. "For me?"

"Hyukkie..." Donghae groaned and rested his head on Eunhyuk's shoulder, which caused the older to let out a small chuckle, turning the other red. "Don't do this to me, you know I'm no good when you say that."

"Yeah," Eunhyuk caressed Donghae's hair lightly. "I know."

Sighing, Donghae lifted his head and stared into Eunhyuk's eyes. He knew he'd lost when he older cut him off. Donghae was still surprised how strong his feelings for Eunhyuk were. They felt as if they haven't worn off in the slightest since he'd met the boy.

"You're lucky your face is impossibly perfect. I wouldn't hesitate to ruin it otherwise." Eunhyuk laughed and went after the sulking Donghae. He took the leash from Donghae's hand and replaced it with his own. Donghae quirked an eyebrow.

"Wouldn't want you running off," Eunhyuk joked as he winked. The two laughed and swung their arms back and forth, feeling in paradise as the sun set beautifully in the horizon. They were so caught up in their moment, Eunhyuk didn't notice that his grip on the leash was slipping. The moment Eunhae noticed he was free to roam about, he broke into a run. Donghae's jaw went slack.

"Eunhae!!!!" Donghae let go of Eunhyuk's hand and ran after the puppy for all he was worth. Eunhyuk went after the both of them, trailing behind slightly as he wondered how Eunhae slipped away.

But as Eunhyuk looked into the distance and saw what was about to come, his eyes widened and he sprinted like he never did before.

"DONGHAE!!!"

"EUNHAE!!!"

Both shouts rang throughout the streets, the former being so loud, it overshadowed the latter. But the most deafening sound was neither. It was a loud crash of collision, followed by silence.

Eunhyuk stayed rooted to the ground. He couldn't move, couldn't speak. It was the whimper of a small puppy which brought him back to his senses and sent him sprinting after his predestined location.

There wasn't anyone around at the time, as the park Eunhyuk and Donghae had chosen was far off and pretty isolated, away from the crowded part of town. But that didn't seem to stop the vehicles which roamed the streets.

Eunhyuk stared and fell to his knees. His fingers were trembling as he reached out and made contact; soft, tender but losing warmth fast. His hands searched as well as his eyes, failing to register the spreading red colour as his whole world blurred. The salty drops didn't stay long, they escaped and fell on angelic features, making a pair of eyes flutter open.

Eunhyuk gasped. "Oh my gosh Donghae you scared the out of me wh-"

"Shhh...." Donghae whispered wearily. His voice was hushed, barely audible. Eunhyuk choked back a sob.

"Yah, Hyuk Jae...take care of Eunhae. He's ours so don't even think of ignoring him, not even one whimper, okay?" Donghae's voice cracked and at that point, Eunhyuk didn't care that he looked like with his wet cheeks, red eyes and runny nose. Donghae chuckled hoarsely and put a hand to Eunhyuk's cheek, using his thumb to wipe the tears away. Eunhyuk gripped it tightly, enveloping Donghae's hand in his. The grip was faltering, heat fading rapidly. Eunhyuk sobbed.

"Hey, I probably look impossibly wrecked, but watching you cry is even more painful to me," Donghae laughed, trying to ease the tight tension. Eunhyuk shook his head and frowned at him.

"Pabo! Shut up and stop being cheesy. It's not helping."

"Hyuk Jae-ah...tell ELF that I'm sorry I disappointed them, and that I hope they'll continue supporting us to the end. Tell the guys I'm sorry. And also thanks for everything they've done and I hope that they'll continue to make me proud to have been in Super Junior." Donghae coughed violently and Eunhyuk hugged him, praying that somehow, in some way, he would be able to transmit his love, pain, heat and everything he was feeling at that moment to Donghae.

But time is a cruel little trickster.

Donghae took a shaky breath, whispered one final thing into Eunhyuk's ear and his hand fell lifelessly to the road. A whine broke the silence, and hard tears accompanied with what could possibly be the most heart-breaking cry rang, lasting for so long, the driver stopped apologising and Eunhae fell asleep soon after, completely oblivious to what happened to his 'father'.

Nothing was ever the same after that day. How could it when someone from such a close knit group just disappeared like that? The manager was stricter than ever and the fans were so heartbroken, they wouldn't stop coming by to drop off tokens of memorials and flowers, paying their respects and etc. Super Junior was grateful towards the ELF's gestures but at the same time, they didn't like the idea that they had to be reminded of it every single minute of every day.

The whole group was more solemn and serious after that. Lee Teuk took things even more strictly, checking everything in the dorms thoroughly and everything. The members who left came back, sharing the pain of loss together. What they lost wasn't just a precious member, co-worker or friend; what they lost was a brother, a deep part of themselves. Ballads could often be heard drifting out from their dorm and even sappy romance chick flicks would be found overflowing from the drawers underneath the TV, curtsy of Heechul who cried and re-watched most of them.

But what changed the most was Eunhyuk. He couldn't sing, couldn't rap, couldn't dance and he could barely breath half the time he was conscious. Whenever he woke in the morning, he would find tear streaks down his cheeks, not that he minded them anyway since that was how he felt every time he saw the puppy lay quietly next to him instead of strong, comforting arms he loved so much. He shut himself away from the world the most of the time and didn't step out unless the puppy grew hungry and he thought that he ought to join him for a meal. Eunhyuk got thinner and thinner as the days passed, his face colour draining with each passing second he realised that the boy was not there anymore.

Sometimes, Eunhyuk hated the puppy. It reminded him too much of Donghae. The way it would stare into his eyes pleadingly when it wanted something and also the way it cuddled into Eunhyuk when it was cold - it was just too much. Eunhyuk often wondered what it would be like to wrap his hands around the small pup's neck, or to even imagine if it didn't exist in the first place. But no sooner would the thought came to him would Eunhyuk shake it away again. He knew that no matter how much he came to despise the dog later on, he would still love him, just as Donghae had.

Of course, there were countless times he wished the puppy was actually Donghae's reincarnated form, and he would talk to it tenderly, running his fingers through its fur like he would've so often done to Donghae. Whenever he did that, the members thought he lost it, gone bonkers, but they understood no less. Eunhyuk's pain had to be greater than any of theirs combined, it was kinda given.

As time passed, Eunhyuk could hear voices, fragments and pieces of his memories flitting through the room. He often heard Donghae's voice calling out to him, or see Donghae's face reflected on the puppy's. It was stupid, he knew that as well, but the voices sounded so darn real and close, Eunhyuk would just reach out to thin air and try to grasp what was left of Donghae, or at least try to claw his way back to the cursed day, hoping that he was fast enough to save the boy from his pending doom. But every single time, Eunhyuk grasped nothing but air and he would then wake up from his delusions, breaking down and sobbing, falling to the ground and just staying there, broken and untenable as the pain seeped in and killed him slowly from the inside out.

But that wasn't the worst part. No, it was far from it. This was a whole new level of pain for Eunhyuk; it was so unbearable to the point that he was tempted to just rip his heart out whenever the thought crossed his mind, even for the briefest of seconds. It was when the deepest realisation would hit him like a ton of bricks to the face, a hit he thought he so rightfully deserved.

He didn't get to say 'I love you' back to Donghae and he will never get the chance to do it either.