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If anybody could make me smile when I am crying, he could. When I am insanely mad and throwing tantrums and nobody dared to tell me to be more matured and think rationally, he would. When I am bawling my heart out and no one would lend me a shoulder to cry on, he will. Although he was never here physically, but instead virtually, I know that he would always be the one I could depend on.  And that is the reason why I chose him as a character that I would like to describe.

He might not be as stylish or godly-looking as the models adorning the Calvin Klien advertisements despite being an idol, but to me he is above them all. I would not trade him even if anyone tried to offer me wealth beyond my imagination. If one were to persuade me to fall for another idol, that elective would be rejected by me within seconds. That is how much I love him.

True enough to be said, this is a sad story of a fan that lived thousands of miles and a sea away from the said idol, but I knew he was my first love the first time I laid my eyes on him. He stood above the rest of the guys that was the same age around me. He is no match for the boys who I see around me every day.

He is my knight in shining armour, my hero, and my source of inspiration. I feel warm and secured when I hear his velvety, husky voice playing on the pair of earplugs that I owned. Every time he strums the guitar and sing, I feel protected emotionally and my day would be made. It is like nobody could harm me, and it was just me and him against the cold, hard, and judgmental world. He is neither well-built nor huge. But to me, he radiates strength and oozes an aura of security.

He was the kind of boy who could not express his feelings well, a person who would stutter when he speaks but yet, he always tries to fulfill the fans’ contented heart by saying those three worlds that every fan of his longed to hear: I love you.  Though you hear every single idol say that to their fans, but the way he presented it was different. When he says it, he meant it. Honestly, after being a fan of him for 3 years, the amount of ‘I love yous’ he had said to the fans were very limited and rare.

He is the man I love and I adore with all my heart. My love for him is infinity. It is more than words could say and actions could express. He owns a special place in my heart and nobody could replace him. I love him so much that my heart feels like bursting. Sometimes it hurts because I know the feelings will never be mutual. What are the possibilities of a superstar idol to fall for an average teen girl like me anyway?

I love it when he smiles, and his dimples would show then. He might not have the million dollar smile due to his slightly crooked teeth like those ‘Colgate’ advertisements, but he has a smile that could melt my heart and crumble my resolve. And oh Lord when he laughs, my knees would shake and that is how much I love it when he laughs sincerely. It is like music to my ears and candy for my soul.

That moment when I went to the capital just to attend his concert, the feeling was magical but yet torturous at the same time. I had to go through a he