Hyukjae sat down on one of the empty chairs in the cafe, the flowers he just bought placed nicely on the table. The red-haired man looked around until he spotted a familiar face.

"Hyung!" he called out cheerfully to the waiter. "Kangin hyung!"

The said man whipped his head around until he spotted the source of the voice. Looking as equally excited, the older man hurriedly went to Hyukjae and his eyes widened obviously at the flowers on the table.

"Flowers, hyukjae?" Kangin snickered. "Really? In my whole 29 years knowing you, and you only buy me flowers now?" He joked as he sat down on the other empty chair.

Hyukjae's cheeks flushed red as he scratched his head out of embarrassment. 

"Ah, this.. They're for Donghae.." he said rather sheepishly, but the smile on his face widened and pink gums appeared from under his lips.

Kangin's heart fell. It broke further when he saw how genuinely happy Hyukjae was, just by a mere mention of the other man's name.

"Hyukjae-ah," Kangin started as he brought his chair closer to the man who was now gently caressing the bouquet. "Hyukjae." He pressed on, as he moved his chair closer. "Donghae, he-"

"He'll love it, hyung! I know he will." Hyukjae cuts in. "He have always love flowers. And these are all his favourite, hyung! He'll definitely love it." 

Hyukjae looked up at him as Kangin stared into the other man's eyes. The older man couldn't read any emotions whatsoever in those eyes that used to twinkle and cry. Kangin wanted Hyukjae to cry. Kangin wanted the other man to just cry. Break down and cry. Throw himself against the floor and cry. Anything. 

Anything but this.

Sensing the change of atmosphere, Hyukjae scoot his chair back noisily, as in he was in a hurry to go. The red-haired man grabbed the flowers when a strong hand grabbed his wrist.

"Hyukjae." Kangin's voice trembled. "Please, don't do this." The tears on his eyes threatened to fall as he stared determinedly into the face of someone he love like a brother. Kangin didn't know what to do. "It-It's okay to cry. Y-You don-" his voice quivered. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hyukjae cuts in for the second time, this time however, his voice cold. He shook off Kangin's hand, taking hold of the flowers. "I have to go, hyung. Donghae's waiting for me." he emphasized as he bowed curtly and hurried off. 

Hyukjae checked the watch on his wrist - until he realised that the battery had died long ago. Sighing, he searched for his phone in his jeans and ignoring the alarming number of missed calls and messages notifications, checked the time. It was 7:05PM and the wind blew gently on the cool night. Hyukjae closed his eyes for a while on the pavement. Donghae had always liked the cafe Hyukjae just went to - both of them would meet up after work at the cafe and then walked together, hands intertwined, shoulders bumping against each other. Nights like these were, in Donghae's words, "the perfect weather." And so, Hyukjae brought his phone up and keyed in Donghae's number while he continued walking down the streets. Hyukjae smiled, hearing the ringing tone as he anxiously wait for an answer.

"Hi, Hyukjae's Lee Donghae here! I can't come to the phone. But leave a message, and I'll call you back!"

Hyukjae let out a laugh at his lover's voicemail and stowed the phone away. The red-haired man pulled his coat tighter around him, keeping the flowers in his coat, and continued walking.

It wasn't long until he reached the familiar door on the 6th floor. His long fingers stretched out to touch the security keypad installed on the door, and just as suddenly, he moved back immediately. Hyukjae took a breath in, taking the flowers out from his coat and tousling his hair the way his lover likes it. He moved forward and ignored his shivering hand as he typed in the code - their wedding anniversary's date.

Hyukjae planted a smile as he pushed forward the door.

"Baby, I'm home!" Hyukjae said, loud and clear. "I bought you your favourite flowers too!" 

The man removed his coat and placed the flowers on the living room's table.

"Donghae," he began again. This time, his voice wavered, "Donghae, please..." Hyukjae dropped to his knees as he was met with their untouched shared room. 

Hyukjae broke down, there and then, at the doorway of their room. His eyes burned as tears he kept flowed down endlessly, blurring his vision. And Hyukjae was helpless, he couldn't do anything but to cry out Donghae's name over and over again. His heart broke again, and he clutched desperately at his chest, telling himself that none of this is real. Get a grip, Hyukjae. Get a grip.

The man clumsily stood up as he blindly made his way to bed. He covered himself with a blanket but he was still shaking, he was still crying and his heart was still broken. The flowers long forgotten as Hyukjae repeated Donghae's name over and over again like a mantra. He missed the soft brown eyes that would gaze at him with love, he missed the sound of laughter echoing through the room. He missed the feel of the man when they make love over and over again in the very same bed. He missed the cheesy words the man always has to say. And as the memories filled his mind, Hyukjae shouted in pain. Crying and screaming for the man to come back.

Half an hour passed and the broken man was finally exhausted, too tired to think, too tired to even do anything. And Hyukjae randomly thought of Donghae's favourite song from Super Junior.

No fear of pain, no fear of hurt
Only with you here will I be able to live
Without you I am just as if I have lost a life
Unable to move forward, unable to move backward
What do I do, what do I do

And the man laughed bitterly because he never knew a song could ever accurately describe how he feels. "They're magical. They say things we never know how to say!" Donghae would exclaim as he listens to endless songs.

And as Hyukjae's wet eyes gets heavier and heavier, the song played on the back of his head.

"Ah, donghae. I'm going crazy." he mumbled before passing out from extreme exhaustion- both mentally and physically.

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Hyukjae's head felt like elephants had secretly trampled on it when he was sleeping. He reached for the other man, out of habit and was only met with a cold space. Hyukjae smiled, thinking of how annoyingly considerate his lover was to not have woken him up too. Hyukjae stood up slowly, his eyes felt heavy and he was still in his office attire. He wanted to recall last night but was too lazy to do so as he stepped out of the room. He saw the flowers on the table and picked them up, throwing them into a dustbin, ignoring the mountain of dead flowers.

"Today," Hyukjae whispered gleefully to himself. "Today, I'll find something Donghae definitely likes!"

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not even read-proof, basically just typed this all down ㅠㅜ

​critiqued it as you wish, comment it as you wish!~