It’s a little embarrassing to admit that I’ve been watching this boy ever since I’ve been in college.

But don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I stalk him or something. I don’t even know his name. Besides, I always have a class to get to if I ever would see him around the campus.

Not that I would stalk him if I had nothing to do anyway…

But still, two years of college hoping that I’d see a bright red head of hair on my way to class each day can get very tiring and not to mention a bit pathetic.

It’s not like I do anything about it, though. I just walk past him without making eye contact and that’s it. I can’t bring myself to just go up to him and talk to him. He always—and by always I mean he’s never seen without them—has earphones on and it’s not like I’d ever interrupt the song he was listening to. Going up to someone you don’t know is a hard enough task, but trying to get someone’s attention when they can’t even hear you takes a lot more work than a “Hey!”.

Maybe this quarter I’ll be lucky and he’ll finally have those earphones out of his ears and he won’t be so difficult to talk to. I don’t know what I’d say to him, but it’s a lot easier than trying to figure out what gesture to use to get his attention off the ground.

I don’t see him on the way to my psychology class and I figure I wouldn’t be seeing him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I ever saw him on the way to a certain class on the first day of a quarter, I know I’d be seeing him for the rest of the term. He was always punctual and consistent, using the same pathway and I had seen him use the first day at the same time, every time.

It doesn’t bother me that much that I don’t see him though. There have been quarters where I never see him throughout the entirety of the ten week period and there have been quarters where I would see him multiple times a day. My walks to class just become a lot less exciting but that’s it really.

That’s why although this crush, if that’s what you want to call it, has been quite long term, it isn’t as severe as crushes usually are. I’m not far deep enough to be devastated by the fact that I might not ever see him again. Well, I know I’m not devastated, but I’m definitely not ecstatic about his absence.

When I get to the lecture hall, I sit in the third row from the very back since I’d heard that this professor liked to pick on students often. If you couldn’t tell already, I’m not the most sociable person in the world, so obviously my choice of seating is very justifiable.

I’m a few minutes early, so I take out a new notebook and pen and set in on my desk as I watch other students file in, mostly gravitating towards the back of the room. They must have read the reviews on this professor as well.

I’m writing the date on the top corner of my notebook when I notice red in the corner of my eye, slowly going down the steps. I try not to snap my head up towards the right of me and instead keep my head facing the front, but my eyes follow the red head closely as he walks all the way down to the very front of the lecture hall, seating himself in the front row with the few others that were down there.

I raise my eyebrows, impressed that he chose such a seat in a proclaimed class like this and look back down at my blank notebook, trying not to make it obvious that I’m staring. But my eyes return to the back of his head anyway, and I watch as he pulls out a composition book out of his backpack and carefully pulls his earphones out of his ears and wraps the cord around his phone.
 

The professor saunters in just in time and there’s a lady following behind him. While the professor turns on the projector, I notice the other lady greet the red headed boy and a couple others next to him. I’m slightly confused by her presence, and wait for the professor to begin his introduction.

“Hello everyone, welcome to Psychology 6: Biological Psychology. I am Professor Avery. This class meets Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:35 to 11:00 am and attendance really only matters in the first couple weeks.” He continues on, but I notice that the other lady is casually translating the professors words on the side of the board to the few students she had greeted at the beginning of class.

I almost choke on air when I realize that the red headed boy was watching her intently.

He’s deaf.

Everything suddenly clicks in my head as I watch the interpreter easily shift her hands into different shapes and gestures. He always had earphones in, he never talked to anyone, he was always careful about where he walked. It all finally made sense.

I subtly frown and snap back into reality when I realize the person in front of me had been waving syllabi in my face waiting for me to take one and pass it back. I mutter a “Sorry”, and quickly grab a packet and pass it behind me.

My eyes retreat back to where they were and I don’t know if I feel better or worse about this new information I just learned about this boy. I’ve never really known much about him, and it seems weird knowing this, but not even knowing his name. I hold in a sigh and try to pay attention to what the professor is saying, but by the time class is over, nothing the professor said had resonated with me since I had been distracted the entire hour and twenty-five minutes. I figure it didn’t really matter anyway since relevant material usually wasn’t discussed until the third class.

I notice a couple people waiting for me to get up and leave since I’m blocking their way and I quickly and messily grab my things, and rush out of the lecture hall. I find an empty bench on my way out and place my bag down on it, setting my slightly crinkled notebook and pen neatly back inside. I finally let out the sigh I’d been holding in and start on my way to my next class wondering why I couldn’t have just had a normal crush on a normal person that I actually knew and could actually talk to.

* * *

I know I’m being a bit ridiculous, but come Thursday, I take initiative and sit in the very front of the class, skipping a seat past the red head’s so that I don’t need to be directly next to him. He’d probably hear my heart beating out of my chest.

Oh wait.

Nevermind about that, but still.

The red head comes in a few minutes after and takes a seat in the same seat as before and I suddenly feel heat rising to my cheeks. I get a whiff of his cologne as he sits down and I nearly melt. I suddenly don’t feel so regretful of my decision to sit up here; considering I set myself up for what could possibly be a very difficult semester of being the go-to student for unanswered questions the professor asks the class.

But then of course as soon as that thought trails into my mind, Professor Avery walks in, with the interpreter behind him. We make eye contact, and I notice his left eyebrow quirk up as he looks at me.

“What’s this? Weren’t you sitting in the back last class?” I try to keep my eyes from rounding as he waits for an answer. I didn’t even think he even looked at that back of the lecture hall. The class suddenly becomes quiet and I want to shrink away back to my old seat.

“I wanted to sit in the front so I wouldn’t be distracted,” I carefully answer, noticing that the boy next to me was looking directly at me. I’m almost sure my cheeks are flushed by now.

Professor Avery blinks a few times and grins. “Don’t be so afraid. It’s only the second day. You’ll get used to the condescending tone in a week.” I try to stifle out a chuckle and he continues. “I’m sure you’ll do a lot better in the class down here than those slackers that believe everything they read on ratemyproffesor.com,” he comments, and I hear a quiet snicker beside me.

I try to keep my composure after hearing such a deep voice emit from the boy beside me. I’ve never heard him before, so his little laugh really took me by surprise. I look up at the board and notice that the interpreter had been signing our little conversation and I place both of my hands on my very warm cheeks, taking deep breaths trying to calm down my nervous system.

I’m the type of person that tries to blend in with the crowd and putting myself out was a lot harder than I had originally imagined it’d be. But I think hearing the red head’s voice for the first time was worth the hurdle I had crossed and I feel somewhat pleased with my decision.

Class continues as usual, and I find myself being forced to pay more attention down in the front even though the reason I’m in the front in the first place is right beside me. Being so close to the professor meant that I really did need to pay attention in case I do get called on. There’s no need for another embarrassing conversation with the professor in front of everyone.

When the class is finally over, I’m back into the reality I placed myself in. The red headed boy was slowly placing all of his things in his backpack and I follow suit, proceeding at the same speed. I watch as he waves goodbye to the interpreter and I stand up as he starts up the steps towards the exit.

I don’t mean to follow him, but he’s going the exact same way to my next class and I carefully trail behind him, hoping he doesn’t notice me and assume that I’m following him.

Because I definitely am not.

This is merely a coincidence. Completely unintended.

I fail to realize that his class is in the same exact building as mine, the Performing Arts hall, and curiosity burns inside me as I walk behind him, wondering which hall he’ll turn down.

I’m not going to lie, I am a bit perplexed he’s in this building, since it mainly pertained to music, so it’s a mystery to me what class a deaf person could possibly be taking in such a building.

I notice he turns down the hall where the dance studios are and I’m only more confused because those classes were for learning actual choreography rather than learning about the art of dance. Sure, limitations for the disabled have definitely diminished as the years have passed, but dancing required following a rhythm and beat and that seems like quite a difficult feat for someone that can’t hear.
 

I continue on the way to my piano class, although I’m still very confused about everything. Except maybe that this red head is a lot more extraordinary than I had originally presumed.

* * *

The next Tuesday, there’s a bit of traffic on the way to school, so I’m later to class than usual. One would assume that it wouldn’t matter since no one would steal my seat since hardly anyone sits in the front, but when I step into class, I notice a majority of the students have filled in what were once the barren front rows.

I walk down to the front row slowly, noticing that there are only two empty seats, one being in between these two girls that have placed their bags in between each other and the other being directly next to the person that had me sitting in the front row in the first place.

I take in a deep breath through my nose and muster up whatever courage I can and walk as casually as I can to the empty seat beside him, carefully placing myself between him and the guy I recognize as the one that impatiently waited for me to get out of my seat from the first day. I glance at him and I notice him shrug at me, as if it made up for him stealing my seat.

When Professor Avery walks in, he is thoroughly shocked to see most of the class down in the front of the lecture hall. I notice that there was no one behind him and I steal a glance at the red head beside me and take note that he noticed as well. He looks a bit bewildered, but shakes it off and rests his elbow on the arm rest between us.

“What are all of you slackers doing in the front?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks at everyone in amusement. “When I said those in the front usually succeed, I meant those already in the front. But I guess I shouldn’t complain. More souls to torture, right?” Those that had moved to the front let out a nervous chuckle and I noticed the professor look over to me. “I guess I have you to thank for that,” he says, and everyone’s eyes congregate towards me, including the ones directly beside me, bringing the flush to my cheeks once again.

The lecture begins and I notice that the interpreter still isn’t in class, and I wonder if I should ask the boy beside me if he wanted to borrow my notes after class, but as life usually goes for me, my plan falls when the interpreter rushes into class, apologizing to the few deaf students with her hands, probably explaining her tardiness. I sink into my seat a little and focus on the lecture instead.

This time when class is over, I leave a little before the red head, so I won’t feel like such a stalker this time around. (I know this seems exactly like something a stalker would plan, but it’s really not.)

As I walk to the Performing Arts building, I feel his presence behind me and I wonder what he thinks of me. I’m sure by now he knows exactly who I am considering that the professor enjoyed putting me on the spot.

I suddenly feel subconscious about the back of my outfit and if it looks good and if my hair looks okay from the back and if I’m walking weird. There are other students around, but it’s a fact that he has to look at the back of me since we are heading to the same destination after all.

I make it all the way to the P.A. building intact, but slightly stressed out from thinking about stupid things like if my walk looked okay from the back. As I make my way to my piano class as usual, I see a guy walking my direction wearing baggy shorts, a black jersey, and a backwards snapback. He waves, and I almost think he’s waving at me until he says, “Hey Mark!” He passes me and I hear what I assume is one of those handshake to shoulder bump type of hugs. I try not to look behind me, but when I turn left to head towards my classroom, I peek at who the guy was greeting, and sure enough it was the red head I’d been observing all this time.

He finally had a name.

sorry sorry sorry

if you already know me, you know I take forever, but there are lot's of you I don't know so might as well let you know up front right? lol 
ANyWAys, hope the first chapter's not too boring for you. Sometimes first chapters tend to do that, but I tried ok lol. And I bet you all already know who the other guy is hahaha

school is okay on me right now, so I will try harder to push an update out sooner than a month okay ;A;