Chapter 27: Author’s POV

As the alarm rang, Ga Eul laid in bed without moving a muscle. She felt lifeless and weak; she had been crying all night about her situation and debating whether or not she was going to do the heart transplant. She took a few deep breaths before she reached over and shut her alarm off. There were about thirty minutes left before she had to leave to school; she didn’t even want to get up or get ready, but she knew that if she didn’t, this was going to be her last chance to even go. She didn’t know how she was going to face her friends and pretend that everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t.

Five minutes later, she got up and washed up. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she could see that her eyes were red and were puffy, but she had no choice, but to go to school looking the way she did; she didn’t want to miss the chance of seeing Chen and her best friends even if she felt like she was going to be walking on broken glasses all day. She had to do something to keep her mind off of her situation.

Ga Eul’s grip on her backpack straps seem to tighten a little more each time she took a step closer to school. She was afraid that she would break down if she saw her friends. She didn’t even know her friends knew, but she wanted to tell them. As for Chen, it hurt her even more thinking about it. He still doesn’t know, or that’s what she thinks, and she doesn’t know how she’s going to tell him. This is why she didn’t want to make friends in the first place, but why was Chen a sudden agreement to it?

As soon as she stepped into the classroom, she felt someone’s hand grip around her arm and pull her back. She turned around to see Seung Ho standing there in front of her. She would have never thought that she’d see him first before anyone else, but she was still happy to see that he would still come around from time to time. She was going to say something to him, but he pulled her away from the classroom and they started to walk out into an empty hallway.

“Seung Ho, what are you doing?”

“I don’t want to talk where everyone has ears.” Seung Ho said looking behind Ga Eul and himself, making sure the coast was clear.

“Why?” She asked. “Did something happen?”

“What happened to you the other day?” He asked worriedly as his hands fell onto his hips. “The whole school talked about you fainting yesterday.”

Ga Eul looked away as if she was guilty of something. “Nothing happened.”

“Your eyes are puffy, Ga Eul. Something must have happened and I’m worried.” He sighed loudly. “Ji Min and Jae Kyung cried together yesterday as well and teachers didn’t even say anything to them; they let them go wherever they left.” He reached over and grabbed Ga Eul’s hand. “And I didn’t even see Chen anywhere yesterday.”

Ga Eul couldn’t hold it in anymore. She couldn’t understand anything that was going through her mind; all that she understood was that she was heartbroken and saddened by the news and she couldn’t keep herself from thinking about it. Even when she ran into Seung Ho, she wouldn’t have thought she would cry, but here she was, bawling her eyes out in front of him. Seung Ho was taken aback by her actions; he wasn’t aware of anything that was going on so he didn’t understand why she was suddenly crying.

“What’s wrong, Choi Ga Eul? Are you hurt somewhere?” Seung Ho looked at her face with a panicked look on his face. “What’s going on? Speak to me.”

“S-Seung Ho…” She choked. “I-I’m d-d-dying…”

Seung Ho felt his heart drop. He didn’t know if he had heard her clearly, but he still felt like all of the blood had drained from his body.

“I have a 25% chance of living if I get a stupid transplant… A transplant that is a life or death cause… My stupid heart is so weak, you know that? How was it even possible to still fall in love with someone, but still be this pathetic? I don’t understand it at all.” Ga Eul fell down to her knees slowly as she held her chest to cry. “I hate my life. Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t I just fall in love like a normal teenager? I won’t even be able to graduate… I can’t even think about the future… I don’t even have dreams anymore…”

Seung Ho slowly bent down until he was at her level. He didn’t know what to say; he was at awe. He wrapped his arms around her small body and pressed her close to his chest. She was sobbing in his arms, making his uniform feel more damp by the second.

“Hey, hey…” Seung Ho patted Ga Eul’s back, not even caring to move when the last bell suddenly rang. “You’re going to be okay, Ga Eul. What did I tell you? You’re not going to die. Stop being so negative about life; you’ll get to be happy if you choose to, you have fallen in love, you’ll be able to graduate, and you’ll get to dream. No one is stopping you.”

“My heart is…” She sobbed. “My heart is stopping me.”

“Ga Eul, no one is stopping you but yourself.” Seung Ho pulled back and pushed her hair back behind her ear. “Your heart is nothing. You can overcome it.”

“I have a 25% chance of living, Seung Ho. What’s the point…”

“It’s the chances that make it worth trying.” Seung Ho leaned in towards her, making sure they were making good eye contact. “And the chances that could probably change your life forever…”

“Words are always so easy to say, aren’t they?” Ga Eul asked as she cried a little more.

“But you’re not taking any actions, so you can’t say anything either.”

And it was true. Ga Eul never took any actions that would make her feel better; she was always only thinking about the negative outcomes and not the positive outcomes. She was never going to know unless she tried, but she didn’t know where to start.

“Does Chen know?” Seung Ho whispered as if Chen could be nearby.

Ga Eul shook her head.

“You still haven’t told him yet?!” Seung Ho stood up as he ran a hand through his hair. “How could you not tell him?”

“I-I’m scared…” She admitted. “I’m scared that if I tell him, I might hurt him and he might just walk away from me…”

“If Chen likes you that much, or if I should even say it, if it’s even possible right now,” Seung Ho chuckled. “If he loved you, he wouldn’t even think about leaving your side.”

Ga Eul took a deep breath as she started hiccupping from her cries. “Is it even okay that I’m stressing at a time like this? I’m making it worse for my heart.”

“You don’t need to stress out about anything.” Seung Ho wrapped his arms around Ga Eul and hugged her. “Be happy… For all of us.”

Once Ga Eul got into the house after coming back from school, she went straight to her room and sat down on her bed as she held onto her cellphone, debating whether or not she wanted to contact Ji Min, Jae Kyung, or Chen. She didn’t see Ji Min, Jae Kyung, or Chen at school. She didn’t bother to text them, knowing that Ji Min and Chen were probably busy training, and Jae Kyung was probably packing up because she was going to leave to Japan soon. She kind of felt lonely from not seeing them, but it can’t always be about her, she thought to herself. She had to keep strong for awhile even if that meant that she had to do it alone.

She thought she was alone in the house, but the door to her room opened and her father came walking in with a few papers in his hands.

“Appa, what are you doing here?” She asked.

“Honey, I would like to talk to you about the transplant.”

She sighed.

“I’m sorry this news was so sudden to you.” He continued. “You know that this will be a good chance and opportunity for you, right?”

She nodded her head as tears started flowing down.

“I know it’s scary and that we might not know what will happen, but I want you to know that we’re going to be working with the best doctors.” He was scared himself. “You’re going to get a new heart and it’s going to be life changing…”

“Life changing, huh?” She scoffed while she cried. “A 25% chance of changing life… Whether it’s life or death… right, Appa?”

“G-Ga Eul…”

“I’m going to do it.” She answered anyway.

Her father’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m going to do it.” She said again. “I… I want to do it.”

“R-really?” Her father’s face lit up.

“I thought about it… And I decided that I might as well take this chance… The chance that I’ll probably never get again…” After what Seung Ho had said to her, she knew her answer to it already.

Her father walked over to her and hugged her. “I’ll be there by your side throughout everything.”

“How fast can we leave?” She asked.

“Tomorrow, mid-night, so we can get there in the morning.”

“C-can’t we leave a little later?” She didn’t want to leave with such a short notice. She still had a lot of things to do.

“We can’t delay this… It’s really important, Choi Ga Eul.”

Ga Eul held her head down. “Fine. You’re right. We should leave as soon as possible.”

“You don’t have to go to school tomorrow.”

“But I’m going to.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Ga Eul.” He gave her a stern look.

“It might be my last chance…” She whispered under her breath. “I would at least like to go for one last time… Just in case.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I said in case, Appa.” She forced a smile even though her heart hurt.

“Fine…” He hated seeing his daughter like this.

*ding dong

“Who is that?” Her father asked about to get the door, but Ga Eul grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“I’ll get it.” Ga Eul said as she trudged towards her door.

“Hi, Choi Ga Eul.”

Ga Eul’s head immediately lifted up upon hearing a familiar voice. When she saw Chen standing by her door, she felt her heart flip a few times. She’s never felt so happy to see him after a couple of days of not seeing him. She ran to him and hugged him tightly, making him suffocate under her hug, but he was more than happy to feel her warmth once again.

“What are you doing here?” Ga Eul asked as she pulled back away from Chen. “Aren’t you supposed to be training?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to see you.” He said as he interlocked their hands together. “I couldn’t focus.”

Ga Eul smiled, which felt like she hasn’t done so in awhile. “Can I say I missed you?”

“I don’t care if you’ve missed me.” Chen said as he leaned in and lightly kissed her. “I’ve missed you.”

“Don’t do that.” Ga Eul blurted out without thinking.

“Do what?” He was confused.

“D-Don’t kiss me like that…” She said.

“Then should I kiss you like this?” Chen cupped her face with his hands and leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Or would you like it like this instead?” He kissed her cheek and then the other side. “Or maybe we should do it like we did the first time?” He wrapped one arm around her the back of her and pulled her against his body as he kissed her passionately.

Ga Eul didn’t fight with him. Instead, she kissed him back.

“Can we just stay like this?” Chen asked as he stopped kissing her and rested their foreheads together. “Forever?”

She smiled knowing that Chen was being so sweet to her. Now, she took the initiative and kissed him, but it only last for a few seconds. Ga Eul pulled back and held onto his hand and squeezed it. The way Chen was looking at her made her feel as if all of her worries had finally washed away; he made her feel free and it seemed like she and Chen were the only ones on the world right now – she wished it could be like this forever too.

Chen could feel his heart beating like crazy being so close to her. The kisses that he had just given and received made his heart sink and rise at the same time; it felt right and at the same time, it hurt him knowing that this kiss meant that this could have been their last kiss… Ever. He didn’t want to let go of her. He wanted to stay by her side, but there was something that hurt him just staring at him – he knew the truth, but she didn’t know he knew… Yet.

“Ga Eul…” Chen took a deep breath and looked away from her; he felt like his heart was shattering the longer he looked at her. “I… I…” He choked up.

“What’s wrong?” She asked confused.

“When are you going to tell me?” He asked as he lifted his eyes up to look at her; this time, there were tears already falling.

“C-Chen…” Ga Eul couldn’t believe Chen was crying and it was in front of her. “W-why are you crying?”

“Are you going to tell me now?” He asked as he cried a little more. “Or are you going to tell me when it’s too late? Or is it too late already?”

“W-what are you talking about?” This was all too sudden. She didn’t understand why Chen was acting the way he was.

“Your heart…” He whispered. 

*A/N: Crappy chapter. Forgive me. I tried :( Please read and comment. I'd love to hear about your opinions, so please don't be a silent reader. Thank you and read with lots of love! Keke~! Muah