Often times I choose to make decisions for myself and when I choose to make them by my own, they somehow turn out to be very, very complicated.

 

During my freshman year in January I started falling for someone. And he’s a senior who just transferred himself here in my school. I know him for only one day and I fell for him. It was funny because I was really naïve and also young to begin with. Our “relationship” ended up for only 1 week because we didn’t contact each other again.

 

2 weeks later tho, I found out that he was with another girl, again my I remind you that I have no sorts of feeling for this guy. Not even a bit. He was just someone whom I thought would be nice to be in a relationship with.

 

Too sort it of, 7 months later I found out that a guy likes me and I barely knew him heck I never even knew him. 1 month later tho, I ended up having a relationship with him. Now you may ask why I did that even though I don’t know him, here’s a thing, during the period after I was told that he like me, we ended up knowing each other as in getting real close to each other.

 

His name is Sehun btw, Oh Sehun.

 

He was a nice guy to begin and he was shy but sweet at the same time. Yes I do admit that I sound like a teenage girl squeling over her boyfriend, but what to do he’s really a good guy to fall in love with.

 

-

 

During my sophomore year, I distanced myself from my old friends and moved to a new clique, which is the one that Sehun is close with. To be frank it did felt good to have a new group of friends that your boyfriend is close with but it’s a sad thing that I had to part myself from my old friends without any leggit excuse.

 

The constant ‘I love you’ and other cheesy words is frequently use to the point that  I was scared because I fell in love with him like I’m devoting him to be with me for a long period of time. And of course who am I to be wishing such imposturous future with him. Forever scares me so does falling for someone too deeply

 

 

I fall in love with Oh Sehun too deeply and I’m scared that he’ll back off

 

-

 

2 years of our relationship, everything changed. We had our constant fights but we got back together eventually. Not that I’m surprised though, every relationships has their ups and down so why should I be suprise

 

Sehun now doesn’t often call nor text me like how often he did before. It was me who usually starts the conversation or we would never be talking at all. I’m exaggerating about him not doing the constant thing he does to me but who the hell likes to be ignored.

 

-

 

Graduation came faster than I expected. Sehun and I are still together and even more stronger than ever. Yes they’re people who brings us down but we got up together and I have to admit, it does feel good. It feels good to actually fall for someone, it feels good to learn about someone and it feels good knowing that your boyfriend is helping you to trust him even more without even getting tired

 

Sehun changed, he changed to a better person.

 

-

 

Sehun ended pursuing his studies in film and had transferred himself to London while I stayed here in Korea taking business. We did a long distance relationship and it surprisingly works and I’m happy about that.

 

But there comes a time when I miss him, sure we see each other in skype and our usual chatting is frequent but it doesn’t feel the same like he’s right next to me (way to state something that’s very obvious) I just miss him when I have things to tell him but he’s not beside me to talk to.

 

Distance is a problem because whenever there’s rain it reminds me of his face and when it’s sunny I miss his scent

 

 

-

 

Sehun is now a film maker while I’m running my dad business. We live together in a cozy apartment. He’s finally back here with me and I’m  hoping it would be forever.

 

 

It isn’t though. Being the only heirs in the line for the Kim’s business firm, I have to constantly travel back and forth between China to Korea and sometimes, Boston if I had to. Sehun is busy making his newest and most anticipated movie of the year. We aren’t constantly together and had  always busy even on weekends, and always fighting over stupid stuffs. Usually we would work it out together but not this time, today. We were to tired to even fight so I told him,

 

“We should break it off now”

 

Which he replied,

 

“Let’s take a 1 year rest and comeback to each other again if we still want to”

 

I agreed.

 

-

 

1 year had passed and I have been traveling more than I should. It wasn’t about business but it was about Sehun and also relaxing my mind over the havocness that had happened in my life. Sehun is making it worldwide and is now directing a movie that has one of the finest Hollywood stars. He’s making it big now and I’m happy for him,

 

-

 

We didn’t get back together. It was too hard to do so. 7 years of being together, 1 year of taking a break comes down to a 1 minute, “lets break up” “we cant do this anymore” “you should find someone better”

 

I had to agree with him, things wouldn’t work out even if we force ourselves. I love him he loved me. Fate is cruel but I cant do anything about it,

 

We had our chance together, but in every hello there is goodbye. We walked away from each other because we know we cant be together. I have to accept the fact he’s gone and never coming back.

 

-

 

 

I accepted the fact bitterly. I moved out from the house as soon as we ended it. I now live somewhere nearer to my office and I’m usually walking rather than driving.

 

Sehun is now one of korea’s youngest film maker who made it big. There were a lot of rumours stating that he’s daiting one of korea’s finest actress, Han Yerim. I’m happy for him (if it is true though) its good that he moved on cause I  didn’t and I’m not moving on.

 

-

 

I saw Sehun, in a coffee shop near my house. He was ordering his usual Espresso. I stayed outside not even daring myself to go inside,  because he is there and I don’t have the guts to do so. I wanted to tell him

 

“Thanks for moving on, because I can’t I love you too much it hurts”

 

But I'm a coward to do so

 

I stayed at my spot looking at him sipping his caffeine.

 

He turned around and saw me standing outside

 

He stared at me

 

And in that moment I swear he wanted to go out he was just as coward as me so he didn’t do anything accept for staring back  at me, our eyes were locked now, his lips curve up a fainted smile reassuring me that its not hard to move on from him and how I should because he did. I smiled back at him and continued walking away from the shop. 

I am going to move on from him.

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Oh my god. I'm probably the worst author ever for posting this so so so late. I'm really sorry for that really sorry.But hey i finished my first one shot and I'm sort of pleased with it and i hope you do  too ^^