--*너에게

 

I just laughed over what you said
But you wouldn’t know
I like everything about you but I’m scared right now

 

“Chanyeol!”

Deep laughter fills the room as Chanyeol laughs like a mad man on top of Baekhyun’s bed, holding up his favorite Taeyeon photo card. Baekhyun has little signs of sweat on his forehead; the sign of his vain attempt on catching Chanyeol and getting his photo card.

“I swear if you get that any—“

Chanyeol sits up and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah.” He hands over Baekhyun’s photo card and the latter immediately slips it in his mini desk drawer. “Do you have muffins?”

“I have a guitar to smash on your face.” Baekhyun huffed, “We didn’t make any today but there are cookies so follow me before they get eaten off by Jongin.”

Chanyeol jumps to his feet and slings an arm around Baekhyun, “You’re the best!” he says with a wide smile.

Baekhyun shrinks under Chanyeol’s arm, feeling his heart do somersaults and the butterflies in his stomach takes their flight. He keeps his mouth in a thin line, only walking along with Chanyeol. It feels weird but awesome at the same time. But there’s this tugging feeling in his heart saying that it’s still wrong in every sides. I’m just his best friend.

“Baekkie~” coos Jongdae and finally, Baekhyun has an excuse to slip out of Chanyeol’s hold.

“Cookies!” Chanyeol exclaims and immediately claims the seat next to Jongin. They both eat like monsters, always eager to eat whatever is on the table. Baekhyun sometimes fondle with the idea to serve colored moth balls and maybe they’ll still eat it.

Baekhyun seats on the couch next to Jongdae, letting out a loud sigh.

“You’re so ing stupid, letting him do all the things that will make you fall.” Jongdae says without much venom in his words. Baekhyun nods, agreeing with his friend.

Baekhyun takes a glance at Chanyeol and he felt his heart lurch at the sight. He immediately turns his sight back on the tv. It hurts knowing he doesn’t stand a chance with Chanyeol, being his best friend, he knows Chanyeol’s type. He doesn’t fit any single of it. Trying hard is not even an option knowing it won’t work.

Chanyeol sees him only as his bestfriend and that’s it.

 

* ---

 

Too many thoughts are blocking you
But you smile at me (I’m just thankful)
Your innocent heart is still so pretty
But I don’t know why but everything is so hard

 

Baekhyun stands in front of the telephone booth, his head bowed as he thinks of a good excuse to call Chanyeol at the wee hour of the night. He made the wrong decision of going out with Jongin and their other college friends in the bar, they’re passed out drunk and he’s the only rational one with them. He never liked parties but he still doesn’t know why he agreed going with them.

Baekhyun drops a coin in the slot, presses on Chanyeol’s house number slowly; he’s still not sure why he’s doing this. After a few rings, someone picked up the phone.

“Hello? This is Parks’ residence!”

“Hello, ahjumeoni.” Baekhyun greets with an awkward chuckle, “Can I please talk to Chanyeol?”

There’s a pause on the other line, perhaps Mrs. Park forgot where her son is again, “Oh, he’s out on a date. Didn’t he tell you?”

The air in Baekhyun’s lungs is knocked out with a huge punch, “Thank you, ahjumeoni. Just don’t tell him I called, please? Good night.” He says and hangs the phone back on its place.

Baekhyun takes slow steps to the bench and plops down on it. He feels his heart shattering into pieces and he feels like drowning; the air in him dissolving in every second he thinks about Chanyeol. He curls in the bench pathetically and lets the tears roll down his cheeks as he bury his face in his arms hoping the painful clenching of his chest will go away.

He felt his snapback removed but it’s returned immediately, only backturned.

“You thought I was drunk huh?” Baekhyun lifts his head and sees Jongdae staring down at him, “Of all people Baekhyun, I thought you’re not this stupid.”

Baekhyun sniffs and wipes away the tears running down his cheeks, “I’m just bored, I need my best friend.”

“But you didn’t even bother talking to me. Why does it always have to Chanyeol when I’m always here? I’m also your best friend Baekhyun. I guess you just don’t see me as one.” Jongdae says sadly before walking away but Baekhyun pulls him back by his wrist.

Baekhyun feels his tears rush back down to his cheeks; he bowed down his head again, “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid, I’m sorry.” He says pathetically and hears Jongdae sigh.

Jongdae seats next to him, wrapping an arm around him consolingly, “You’re hurt but still you resist my advice.” He chuckles, “I don’t know what to say anymore.”

“Just shut up.” Baekhyun mumbles, feeling a bit lighter now that he has Jongdae by his side.

 

--

 

The telephone rings loudly, waking Baekhyun up from his deep sleep in the couch. The tv is still on, maybe he slept all throughout the movie because of tiredness. Baekhyun groggily picks up the phone and answers with a sleepy ‘hello?’

“Baekhyun?” The said man jolts awake at the voice, “Is it ok if I sleep in your house tonight?”

Baekhyun groans loudly, “It’s already morning, Chanyeol. Morning, goddamit. Where are you?”

“At the phone booth two blocks away.” Chanyeol answers sheepishly.

Baekhyun snorts at his best friend’s answer but there’s a smile tugging at the ends of his lips. It’s always like this, Chanyeol running to him whatever comes up even he has a girlfriend to go to.

“I’m waiting.”

“Thank you! I love you B! You’re the best.” Chanyeol exclaims and immediately hungs up, he probably dropped the phone again, forgetting to put it back to its place because of his eagerness.

Stupid Chanyeol makes a Byun Baekhyun fall harder for him, but he still wonders if Chanyeol’s stupidness is too thick to notice that his best friend is falling for him.

 

* ---

 

The world will definitely change
Our thoughts will change, think about it
It’s just hard

 

“I’ll cook. Fine.” Baekhyun volunteers when everyone went silent at the prospect of cooking for everyone for their group study. Everyone cheered happily when Baekhyun got onto his feet. “You lazy asses. Especially you, Kyungsoo. I’m so disappointed in you.”

The said man blinked at him innocently, “What? I’ll be having a large role here thank you very much. I’ll be doing the history teaching to all of you.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and trudges to the kitchen to make something edible. He cuts some vegetables and makes ramen – there’s no other choice – their all time stomach savior.

“Do you need help?” a husky voice asked while long arms wrapping around his waist. Baekhyun gulped, hoping his heart to calm down just a teeny bit. Chanyeol rests his head on his shoulder and continues watching him stirring the ramen with a chopstick.

Baekhyun cleared his throat to speak finally after a long silence, “Maybe you can help me by going back there to listen to Kyungsoo’s important notes?” he says, not daring to turn his head to face Chanyeol. He only received a soft hum.

“I’ll help you serve. I don’t like to be alone with them.”

“What?” Baekhyun chuckled amusedly, momentarily forgetting about his jumbled heart, “They’re our friends.”

“Yeah I know. I like to be with you better you know.”

Baekhyun’s heart did a wild somersault in his chest and the butterflies in his stomach starts acting up again. He’s at it again, falling in the endless cliff of unknown for a certain Park Chanyeol. He’s frozen in his spot for short seconds, Chanyeol not taking any notice of it, before he lets out the breath he doesn’t know he’s holding back.

“You’ll be a perfect husband, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol says out of the blue with a serious face, “If I ask you to marry me, say yes ok? I’d like you to be mine.”

Chanyeol sighs, thinking of something to add, Baekhyun can even feel the growing smile on his best friend’s face against his neck, “You can cook and be everything, just like what other people find but I’ll keep you away from them.” He says and ends with a soft laugh.

Chanyeol, stop. Baekhyun wants to say but his mouth feels dry all of a sudden. Chanyeol is giving him a false sign again. He wants to slap him, to ask if he’s being serious because damn, he wouldn’t miss the chance laid out for him, it’s a cruel joke.

“Heh. , go away.”

 

* ---

When you look at me warmly
I sometimes turn away
But do you feel it?
It’s not because I don’t like you

 

Baekhyun stares out the window from his bedroom, watching his friends play spin the bottle at the backyard. He silently laughs to himself as he watches Chanyeol jump around the circle with ice cubes inside his boxers. His headache makes a painful pinch again making him wince and stop laughing.

He’s supposed to be with them, it’s their Saturday play night after their midterms but unfortunately he got sick. He blames it all on his sleepless nights and stress.

Baekhyun thinks he’s hopeless, he can only smile from a far, admiring his best friend, the love of his life, be happy without him. Chanyeol has his girlfriend seating next to him tonight. They look so happy. When Chanyeol seats back down, his girlfriend – Reena – slaps his shoulder, laughing softly, his boyfriend turns to her with a smile. He closes his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek, he immediately wipes it away, feeling overly stupid.

Baekhyun’s phone rings suddenly, playing Genie. He picks it up without looking at the caller ID and mutters a soft ‘hello.’

“Baek? Are you ok?” Baekhyun’s ears perked up at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice, “Did your cold worsen?” he looks out the window only to se Chanyeol looking at him, his brows furrowed in a worrying line.

Baekhyun turns his back on Chanyeol immediately, “I… I’m ok.”

“Wait for me.” Chanyeol mumbles hastily before Baekhyun can even utter a word, his best friend hung up on him.

His heart is beating wildly once again, Chanyeol is worried for him; he even left his girlfriend for him. But Chanyeol is worried as a friend, that’s what best friends do right? Chanyeol loves his girlfriend just what a lover should do and he also loves Baekhyun as what a best friend should do.

“Baek?” Chanyeol calls out in a silent tone as soon as he stepped in Baekhyun’s room. He settles on the bed next to his best friend and places a hand on his forehead.

“Chanyeol…?”

“Were you going to sleep?”

“No, I just didn’t recognize your voice.”

Chanyeol clucked his tongue in disappointment, “I thought I’m your best friend? And your fever is still high.”

“Ok, ok. I’m going to sleep.” Baekhyun says and curls up but Chanyeol pushes him a little for space and slips in the bed next to him, pulling him close against his body.

“You’re cold, are you?” Baekhyun nods in a daze, he awkwardly leaned his head against Chanyeol’s chest. Here’s his heart again, going badump-badump uncontrollably.

“Go to sleep.” Chanyeol commands and lazily drapes his arm over Baekhyun’s waist.

Baekhyun nods again and closed his eyes. Maybe it’s ok if he takes advantage of his best friend’s niceness; after all, it’ll come to an end soon.

 

* ---

 

After meeting you, starting from some point
I started to have worries
After I started to like you
When I think of you, I only sigh

 

Chanyeol has a problem and it’s a big problem. Byun Baekhyun. It just suddenly hit him, that he like his best friend, when Baekhyun held his hand and smiled at him when he’s about to back out of his first performance of his high school band. He tried to deny it, his feelings, by dating girls who are sadly around Baekhyun’s height and as spontaneous as him. At the end of the day he’ll still think that in some way, Byun Baekhyun is much better than them.

So they break-up, not lasting half a year or even just a month.

The faithful day he first met Baekhyun is in the library in middle school, when he knocked the older guy down causing all their books to topple down the floor. They talked after picking the books up and settling on the far end table and he knows they clicked.

Chanyeol stirs in his position and noticed that the bed is a little cramped; he forgot momentarily that he slept in Baekhyun’s bed. He slowly opens his eyes and is gifted in the most wonderful sight; Baekhyun looks so beautiful under the soft sunlight, his brown locks glistening slightly, his cute red little nose twitching a little and his prettily blemished cheeks.

Chanyeol sighs.

He wonders when will he get the guts to tell his best friend.

 

* ---

 

When I see your lovable eyes
My heart gets peaceful
When I’m holding your hand (I dreamed these kinds of dreams)

 

It’s Jongdae’s birthday, all of their closest friends are invited. They ate heaps of foods and trashed the house by playing random s they all come up to. It’s definitely fun, especially when Baekhyun shouted out his brightest idea. Now, Jongdae is seated on the sofa, wearing a birthday hat with the harshest glare pointed to Baekhyun, who on the other hand, doesn’t give a flying hat about it.

“The camera is on! Open your first gift sweetie~” he coos, enacting a mother on her son’s eight birthday making everyone laugh.

“You’ll pay for this.” Jongdae says with a deadly drip in his voice. He opens his first gift and smiles in delight when he got a captain Levi figurine to add to his collection, “Thanks, Chanyeol!” he grins.

The next few gifts are consisted of a snapback, cutesy hat (courtesy of yours truly, Luhan and Sehun) and DC boxers (“But I’m more of a Marvel,” Jongdae grunts but still happily puts away the Joker-Batman boxers anyway) and lastly Baekhyun’s gift.

“Ohgod this doesn’t sound good.” Jongdae mumbles comically when he shakes the box.

“You’ll love it.” Baekhyun grins with his hands on his hips.

Jongdae cautiously opens the box and is surprised to see another inside it, “What the hell.” He opens the other box and an unamused smile stretches on the sides of his mouth.

“It’s a picture of me. Ta-da.” Baekhyun says proudly and opens his arms wide.

“I’m yours.” Jongdae reads, “Wow Baekhyun, veeery creative.”

“Because I love you.” Baekhyun says and runs to his friend for a hug, nuzzling his head at the crook of Jongdae’s neck like a puppy.

Everyone burst out laughing, some starts saying coolest gift ever! Nice Baek! And aw, poor birthday boy.

 

--

 

Chanyeol grew curious at the sudden closeness of the two, Baekhyun even volunteered to help Jongdae clean up after their mess. Chanyeol badly wants to help – or much more to see what the two are doing – but he needs to take his girlfriend home. Ah, .

Chanyeol isn’t even half-amused when Baekhyun acts all too sweet around Jongdae to his liking. He can only do that to Chanyeol, he’s the best friend and no one else is allowed to have that sweet treatment except him.

“Chanyeol.” Reena called for the second time, snapping Chanyeol back to reality.

“Oh, hey. What is it?”

“I’ve been telling something but you weren’t even listening.” Reena says and sighed, “You’ve been acting up. You weren’t even serious about me huh?”

Chanyeol went silent. What Reena said is true, he can’t even deny it.

“See?” Reena chuckles bitterly, “Drop me off at the bus stop.”

“No, I’ll—“

“No, Chanyeol. And let’s break up.”

Chanyeol is dazed, he only nods dumbly and swerves the car to the side to stop at the bus stop.

 

--

 

“So, how are you putting up?” Jongdae asks as they both pick up clutters and shoot it in the trash bin.

Baekhyun hums thoughtfully, “I’m taking the intern job in Jeju, I’ll be away for the whole summer break.” He says and shoots the can of coke in trash, “Yes!”

Jongdae drops the red cups in surprise, “What?”

“Oh be happy. Man, it’s my only time to try to figure out how to move on.” Baekhyun says with a smile.

Jongdae sighed, “Fine. Hope you’ll see through although I’ll be the most assest best friend while you’re away.” He grins.

“What?”

“You’ll see.” Jongdae grins.

 

* ---

 

When you kiss my cheek, it feels like the whole world is mine
I just want to hug you like this
But there are still so many things in this world that are in front of you

 

Before Baekhyun boards the plane, Jongdae tells him that Chanyeol broke up with his girlfriend not telling him the reason; only a hug and ‘goodbye pup!’, his other friends bid him goodbyes with hugs and a kiss on the cheek from Kyungsoo and lastly, Chanyeol, who hands him his favorite item, the celestial key from Fairytail and a goodbye note.

“I don’t want to cry.” Chanyeol says once he enveloped him in a hug. Baekhyun melts in his best friend’s arms. He hopes he can make this last forever, make the world stop if possible and he’ll be in the happiest place he ever wanted, in Chanyeol’s arms. This is the last time he’ll fall for his actions and hugs though, the last time he’ll admit to himself that he loves Park Chanyeol. He’ll surely miss this.

Before his brain can do a quick flashback of everything he loved about Chanyeol, which will possibly result him in a sobbing mess, he pulls away from the hug and strolls away without looking back.

Goodbye, love.

 

* ---

 

Think about it, it’s just hard
All of the new things that you’ll experience
Everyone will start to turn their eyes on you
Do you know how I feel?

 

Baekhyun felt lonely, he only answers his emails from his friends and Jongdae except Chanyeol’s, who probably flooded his inbox with sad faces and I miss yous. He’s afraid that if he opens one of them, he’ll give in and let himself fall endlessly.

Baekhyun can’t help to think of Chanyeol at times – what he’s doing in Seoul? How is he? Does he have a new girl? Has he even thought of me? – and he only sighs at the thoughts of him. There’s a long way out of the mess he submerged himself.

He’s not giving up because he has nothing to give up at the first place; it’s just him and his pathetic little heart. Baekhyun thought once that maybe there is a possible connection between them, the more than best friend status but he’s over his head. Chanyeol is just being nice; after all, that’s what best friends do.

Oh no, there are the tears building up on the rim of his eyes again. Baekhyun chuckled bitterly.

Moving on, moving on ah how can you be easy?

Baekhyun tucks the pin board under his arm and walks to the lab. He fixes his lab coat first before facing Mr. Lee, the head scientist for their new research for a skin care brand. It has been days when they found an improvement; they said it is all thanks to their intern, Byun Baekhyun.

“Good morning, Mr. Lee. Here is the status you requested.”

“Please put it on my table, and thank you.” Mr. Lee says and throws him a quick smile before he turns back to whatever he’s reading.

Baekhyun nods and immediately left the lab. His phone vibrated suddenly and he frowns. He did put on his last status update that he won’t be answering any text or calls from his friends nor his family since it’s a strict ‘no phone policy’ during work hours. He looks around before fishing his phone out and opening the message.

 

From: Trolldae

Remember when I told you I’m not going to help you with your plans? Yeah. Here I am beotch!

Anyway, we got drunk with Chanyeol last night. Know what he said? I miss Baekhyun and I think I’m in *some text missing*

 

Baekhyun groans in disappointment when he reached the foot of the message. He expected a report of Chanyeol’s new girl or boy but no. His heart is definitely on the verge of going out of his ribcage. Jongdae is such an .

His phone vibrated again and he immediately opens it.

 

From: Trolldae

—love with him.

 

Baekhyun suddenly went in hyperventilation, his hand flew to his chest and he feels his heart throbbing fast. Badump-badump.

 

* ---

 

I don’t want to hurt your small heart
That’s what it is
Adults always tell me, there are still more things you don’t know

 

Two weeks have passed since the last time Jongdae texted him. Baekhyun has been immersed in work after finding out that their research is near success. He didn’t bother to know if Jongdae’s text message was true. His mind is not much on Chanyeol anymore too, he’s going to move on. Yes.

Baekhyun pulls on his jacket and says goodbye to the bodyguard-ahjussi by the door. When he looked straight ahead, he almost fell down the steps of the building.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol is standing a few good meters away from him, a bag pack hanging on his right shoulder and a small smile blooming on his face.

Before Baekhyun could even blink, Chanyeol is just a few inches away from him.

“I’ve been waiting for this day, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol says with a smile, staring right into Baekhyun’s orbs making him blush, “I’m so, so stupid.”

“What—“

The taller guy gently cupped his face and pulls him into a kiss. I love you says the kiss in the faintest of words but Baekhyun can hear clearly, can feel fully. No more, no less.

 

I just hope your innocent heart won’t change

 

 

 

----

a/n:

- yehet i finally finished it~ i didnt do an extensive error checking im sorry ;;
- it's inspired with the song To you by Seotaeji but is sung by Sung Shikyung.
- im so done with baekyeol.
- this is like the sad part of my life tbh, except the happy ending and the reciprocal feelings.
- pic cred to owner!