Hangeng always liked kids.

He could see himself in them, so naturally, he wished to guide them and assist them in any way he could. On his days off from his busy job as a rising actor, he would visit local hospitals and play with the sick children. It always filled him with despair when he saw how much pain they were in, but he strived to make them smile regardless, so he up his own heartache and did his best to bring them happiness.

He was on his lunch break at the new set for his latest movie, My Kingdom, when he received the phone call that changed his life.

He was not particularly close to his cousin YingWei, but he used to be. They used to be nearly inseparable all through primary school until high school, but when Ying had left to pursue her education in America seven years ago, they had lost touch. YingWei was his closest friend growing up, so it was hard to believe the words the translator was saying.

It was a car crash.

Apparently, she had been on the way to pick up her eldest daughter from primary school.

It shouldn’t have surprised him, since automobile accidents were highly common and she was never the best driver, but it did. Even more shocking, there were survivors - her three children.

He tried his best to keep up with the words the interpreter was repeating from the American lawyer assigned to the case, but it was so difficult. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

“You’ve been her primary contact for all of her paper work, and you’re listed as the secondary guardian for all of her children. This means that you now have the power to decide what will happen to her children.”

He struggled to breathe, his eyes blinking away tears that threatened to ruin his stage makeup. “What do you mean?”

“None of the children’s fathers have custody. The only one who can control the future of her children is you, so you need to decide what will happen to them.” He couldn’t comprehend what was happening. “You can either sign away your rights to Child Protective Services or claim them as your own. You don’t necessarily need to adopt them,” The translator rushed quickly, as if he was afraid Hangeng was no longer listening, “You can just foster them until we find suitable adoptive families that you approve of.”

“I-I.” He swallowed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I need time to think about this, I can’t just…”

“Of course, sir, but either way, you need to be on a flight to the States immediately. We need to go through the paperwork regardless of which option you choose.”

His mind swirled with a flurry of emotions. “I-I can’t just…”

“Sir, you need to be in America by Friday. This is extremely serious. We need you present to make legal decisions about the children’s welfare.” The interpreter insisted, his voice becoming desperate.

“Okay.” He felt himself whisper.

The line ended with a brief, “We’ll email you,” before leaving him alone with only his thoughts.

He looked down at his dumpling soup he had gotten from his mother’s restaurant earlier that morning. He no longer felt any desire to eat, and even when he tried anyway, he couldn’t swallow anything past the lump in his throat.

He felt sick to his stomach, the invisible burden of pressure on his shoulders. He was not a person capable of making life-changing decisions, let alone an able-bodied parent. What was he to do? The thought of being a father made his heart clench and tug into two different directions.

He could be responsible for three little girls that he had never even met, the only living memory of YingWei.

But would he be able to handle all of the tribulations parenthood would bring? He would need to abandon his career, and he would need to actually take care of these kids. He would be the one to comfort them and scold them and buy them new shoes and take them to school every morning. Could he handle that?

He didn’t know.

“Hangeng, it’s ten minutes until they need us back on set-“His coworker Heechul stepped dead in his tracks at his expression. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to vomit.”

He shook his head, too tired to answer. He covered his eyes, stabilizing his uneven breathing, and stood up, running his fingers through his hair to calm his nerves. He followed Heechul back to the director wordlessly, ignoring the worried looks Heechul sent over his shoulder every few minutes.

“Okay, great, you’re back. Let’s get started.” Mr. Lao ordered, and thus the filming recommenced.

 

“Are you sure you’re alright? You felt a bit off today,” Heechul eyed him cautiously. “Do you want to get something to drink?”

“Why not.” He muttered quietly, more to himself than Heechul. Still, Heechul smiled widely, linking his arm through Hangeng’s as they walked to Heechul’s car.

Hangeng stared out the window, lost in his thoughts. If he had to be there by Friday, that meant he had to leave by Wednesday, and that was tomorrow. He was still completely torn. Sure, he loved kids, but could he actually raise YingWei’s as his own? He knew it was extremely different from occasionally visiting the terminally ill children at the hospital. Besides, he didn’t even know anything about the orphaned children whatsoever.

“You’re so quiet.” Heechul broke the silence as he pulled up to the bar. Neither of them made a move to get out just yet, with Hangeng frozen in his concentration and Heechul observing him curiously. “Seriously, Geng, what’s up?”

He slid his gaze towards Heechul, considering whether or not he could actually talk about what had been bothering him. He and Heechul had been working with each other for around two months, but they spent enough time together for Hangeng to consider him an irreplaceable friend rather than a mere co-actor. Still, it was in Hangeng’s own nature to keep his emotions and troubles to himself, although Heechul constantly complained and ranted to him. In the end, he decided to keep things simple yet honest.

“I just found out that my cousin died.” He forced himself to say the words, his eyes dropping to his shaking hands on his knees.

Heechul released a breath. “Were you close?”

“Used to be.”

Unpredictably, or maybe it was to be expected since Heechul was the epitome of the unexpected, the elder wrapped his arms around Hangeng’s shoulders, pulling the latter into his chest. He didn’t try to say anything because they both knew words wouldn’t help, he just tightened his grip.

Hangeng was unaware of how much he essentially needed the embrace until Heechul freed him. Still, he faked a smile. “Let’s go get drunk, yeah?”

“I’m feeling it.” Heechul returned the grin with a smirk just as phony.

It took only two drinks for the words to spill, and three for the tears.

 

 

Hangeng glanced at his cellphone nervously as he awaited the director’s response. Within fifteen minutes, his boss offered his condolences and granted the permission to go about his business in America, giving him a week off. He felt relieved that it was okay, but as he clicked the purchase button on the airport website, the nerves sky-rocketed once again.

 

 

Hangeng had never been to America before, but he had always wanted to go. He could recall promising YingWei that he would visit a few years ago, and now he wished he had. The regret washed over him as he searched the airport for the interpreter, Mr. Li, who had confirmed he would be there along with the lawyer to pick him up.

He finally spotted the deep blue sign with his name spelled in large pinyin by the baggage claim, so he hurried over. “Hello, I’m Hangeng.”

“Welcome, welcome. I’m sorry that you had to come here under such unfortunate circumstances, but I hope you’ll enjoy your stay in our country regardless.” The look Hangeng gave him made it clear that he wasn’t in the mood for such petty small talk. “R-Right, my apologies. We’ll let you get settled at your hotel, and then we can talk business over lunch

Hangeng was silent for the entire ride, gazing out his window to see the city span out around them. He knew New York was a big city in America, and Los Angeles, but he didn’t know they had other big cities like this, Baltimore. He wondered absentmindedly why YingWei had chosen to move here before realizing it was because her college was only half an hour away.

He thanked Mr.Li and promised to meet him at a restaurant down the street in two hours, promptly heading into the hotel to check in to his room. He had trouble with the dumb card key for a good few moments, his hands too unsteady to cooperate, and as soon as he got the door to open he curled onto the large bed, curling onto his side and burrowing within the stiff blankets.

He was still in a state of shock. The grief hadn’t quite set in yet, although he had cried every now and then. He just couldn’t believe she was dead. Her death was so sudden.

Mr.Li had told him in an email that she had not died upon impact. She had been driving along a freeway when a driver on her left had slammed into her, causing her to hit her head harshly against the glass and sustain a serious brain injury.

The amazing thing was, she probably should have lost control of the wheel and lose consciousness straightaway, but she somehow managed to pull over onto the side of the road. It was not more than ten minutes before she passed, although the police had already been called  and were on the way.

It was because of her children, he knew. Those kids meant the world to her, so she did everything in her power to protect them even as she was dying.

That scared him immensely because it signified that she trusted him with everything she had. After all those times he told her he was too busy to visit or too tired to call, she still believed he was the best person to take care of her entire world.

He sighed, messaging his weary eyes. He had to consider all possibilities evenly to determine what was best for the kids.

If he kept them, maybe adopted them as his own, he would have to quit his job. He had inquired about the children and all that Mr.Li knew from what the lawyer had told him was that the kids were six, three, and one. There was no way he would be able to nurture three young children and keep his steady dream job as an actor- kids were too demanding, too time-consuming. Yet, he still found himself drawn to them. What were they like? Were they more like their mother, or their father? What did they look like? What did they like?

He could always just care for them until a good new family was found. That would also require a long break from work, but he wouldn’t have to bear the guilt of sending the children he was tied to away without sparing a second glance.

Yet, that could be what was actually best for them. Why show up into their lives for a mere few months? It was harsh, and the children needed a stability and a warm, loving home that could actually provide what was necessary. It was undoubtedly the easiest decision, but he knew that YingWei would have killed him for such a thing. When she wrote his name down, she had been serious. She wouldn’t have designated them to him without being certain that he could actually do it.

He groaned, unsure of what he would do.

 

 

He stirred his soup, staring into the bubbling bowl blankly. He had reached a decision, but he was hesitant that it was really the best interest for the children.

He had forgotten that he was expected to listen to whatever Mr.Li had spent twenty minutes talking about, but he tuned in his attention with perfect timing. “So what do you plan to do?”

“Where are the kids now?” He asked, his throat constricting.

Mr.Li consulted with the lawyer quickly. “They are currently with a temporary foster home.”

“Can I see them?” He murmured before he could help himself.

“Yes, but it is crucial you decide what you wish to do with them now. If you plan to take them, we have to finish getting the visas ready as soon as we can. It’s important that you choose now.”

“I’ll become their guardian.” He found himself saying, although it had not been what he had planned to say. “I’ll take them.”

Mr.Li passed the information on to the lawyer, who smiled and exclaimed something in English before collecting his briefcase and storming out. “Excellent! We can talk about the logistics later, but let’s go see them now, before it’s their bedtime.”

 

The temporary foster family was very nice, in Hangeng’s opinion. They welcomed him, offering him words of comfort in a language he could barely speak, but the thought warmed him. There was a thin lady and a fat man, with their own daughter and son who looked to be in their teenage years.

The lady, Brenda, led him to the living room, where he saw three little girls playing with Barbie dolls.

The biggest girl had a headful of thick red hair, curling down to the middle of her back. She had dark brown eyes and freckles splashed over her creamy ivory skin. She appeared to be the most boyish of the three, wearing comfortable jeans and a hoodie rather than the dresses that her younger siblings sported. She looked the healthiest with a pudgy little tummy that he found cute. She had the same style as her mother, and the same almond eyes. Her hair was a surprise, though. He had never seen such red hair.

The smallest girl was actually the second oldest, if her speech was any way to tell. Her voice was high pitched, alerting him that she was excited as she jumped up and down while she played. She looked completely different from her older sister, her hair in a just as long but light blonde and extremely thin. She was slim and wiry, and her body type reminded him of how YingWei used to be. Her eyes were a bright blue, almost the color of ice. She must be like her father, he thought to himself. She had the build of YingWei but the face of a complete stranger.

The youngest child, running animatedly around the room in a onesie and a sagging diaper, reminded him of her the most. She was darker than her sisters, her skin naturally tanned to the same shade as her mother. Her face was astonishing; wide, brown eyes and rosy round cheeks that bore a cute little smirk. Her hair was the same color and consistency as her mother, pulled into a ponytail on the top of her head that spouted out like a water fountain.

Brenda said something in English he couldn’t translate and their eyes all to him at once, making him feel awkward with all of the attention. He gulped as the eldest girl ran over to him, even though she was smiling. Brenda said something again and the girl nodded before turning back to him. “Hello,” She said in perfect Mandarin, “I’m Kaelin. Those are my baby sisters, Irelin-“ She pointed to the happy blonde waving to him, “- and Brynly-“ she gestured to the baby.

He bowed his head towards them. “Hello, I’m Hangeng. I guess I’m your uncle, so you can call me Shou Shou.”

Kaelin nodded. “Are you going to take care of us until Mama comes back?”

He looked to Brenda, who shook her head sadly, recognizing the sound of mother even in a tongue different from her own. What had they been told? The younger ones must have seen her die in person, which must be unbearably traumatic. So how could they possibly think their mother was coming back? What was he to say? “Yes, but we must talk about this later. How do you know Chinese?”

“Mama talked only Chinese at home, but I learned English at school. I’m not very good though.” She fell to the ground, picking up a doll. Irelin whispered something into Kaelin’s ear, looking at her hands shyly. “Irelin wants you to play Barbies with us.” She announced.

“Uh,” He glanced behind him awkwardly, but Brenda was no longer present. He sighed, plastering a smile onto his face and kneeling on the ground in-between Kaelin and Irelin. “Sure.”

It was slightly uncomfortable as he raised his voice and took on the persona of a princess just as Kaelin commanded, but the high pitched squeals from Brynly and Irelin were worth it.

He was in the middle of making his doll talk to Irelin’s about shopping for a beautiful new ball gown when Brynly threw a ball at him, hitting him square in the face. He was startled, uncertain on how he was supposed to handle the situation, but when he saw her little smirk growing bigger he decided to treat her like she treated him and throw it back to her gently, the stuffed ball bouncing off of her forehead.

Brynly laughed loudly, picking up the ball and heaving it towards him again. Her aim was off and it hit the ground in front of his folded legs rather than him but he chucked it back at her, this time letting it hit her stomach softly. She scrunched up her nose and smiled, breathing air out of her nose quickly.

She grabbed the ball and smacked him in the face harder than he thought was possible for someone her size, which made him burst out with an uncontrollable laughter. Kaelin and Irelin started to laugh too as Brynly lunged at him, throwing her little arms around his neck and whacking the ball onto his back.

Irelin, who had been extremely introverted the whole time they had been playing together, jumped onto his lap too, her infectious laughter making Hangeng laugh even harder.

He knew things would definitely be difficult, but he was glad he decided this. If YingWei thought he could do it, then he would, simple as that.

 

 

A/N: Hello~! I am your author and I'm warning you now that I update slow and I never edit.

Now for real-life, nonrecent, as normal as i could find pictures of our lovely cast:

Kaelin (six):

 

 

Irelin (three): 

 

and last but not least, Brynly (one):

 

wow sorry they're so big i just don't feel like spending twenty minutes resizing them