Davichi-Don't Say Goodbye

'Mian.I fell asleep yesterday.Today is a hectic day.Can't call.'

I sighed for the nth time today. Reading his message,again and again.I put the phone down,glance to the outside of my bedroom door.The rain seems to pour heavily again. I traced out the falling raindrops on the window,eventually my fingers write out his name...

Kim.Sung.Gyu

I sighed again.Yes,it's him.The well-known idol of Infinite....My boyfriend.

We've been in this secret relationship for almost a year.I never dreamt to be an idol's lover.Well, I do listen to their songs but to be in a relationship,it never slipped into my mind.It was all started when I helped out in a charity's work at the orphanage a year ago.

FLASHBACK

Being the volunteer was part of my schedule.Being able to communicate with unfortunate people, open my eyes to the other part of the world.That day,the volunteers went to an orphanage.As I went there,I could see all the faces of the abandoned.The children plastered a sweet smile that makes people blind and thought they were fine.While we cleaned up at the same time enjoy the moments getting to know those wonderful strong kids,a black van appeared.

I was standing at the back,with a newborn baby being abandoned in my embrace,smiling towards the performance given by the seven boys.That's right,Infinite.The boy group that slowly caught the citizen's attention.I glanced to one of them.Coincidently,he glanced back at me.Our eyes met and all I could gave him was a smile.He...smiled back at me.

"He's cute."I looked up to see him smiling towards the baby in my arms.I smiled and nodded my head.The baby boy look at him with his wide eyes. He widely smile,sometimes caressed the baby's cheek with his thumb and sometimes playing with his small fingers.I peek a glance of him.He had this father attitude that somehow make my heart flutters but I brushed it away.It's normal for everyone whenever they see the babies, right?

"Wanna hug him?"I offered him the baby but he sort of refused.I pushed him and eventually he hugged him.Slowly,he rocked his body up and down trying to avoid the baby from cry. But the way he rocks it,it was funny.He kept bending his knees that maked him look funny.I chuckled to his side.And, slowly...We got attached to each other.The baby was looking at me who standing beside him.He just smiled looking at me who playing hide and seek with the baby.That day,we became friends.

 

Few days later,I helped my cousin.She was a stylist.The whole day,I became her assistant by holding all the make-up and clothes.While I helped her organized the clothes,the door was opened from the outside.Seven boys that was familiar to me entered and greeted everyone.I was too focused to the clothes.

"Pass me that orange cardigan." I reached for it and passed to her.

"Oh?"I looked up to see him.He wore the cardigan before walked towards me.I smiled at him,friendly.We greeted each other.The members seem surprised to see their leader talked to me before introduced themsleves to me, one by one.That day,I moved another step of being closer to him.

Since that day,we were in contact to each other.He was funny.His messages really makes my day.Sometimes,we had a long conversation or a short one,while he was having his sweet time at the dorm.Sometimes,I could hear his light snores as he fell asleep during our night talk.I didn't blamed him since being an idol was tired.

"Let's date."His blunt words from the call make me stunned.Date?I knew precisely what would the fans' react to our relationship but without thinking,

"Geurae."I answered him.Since that day,Kim Sunggyu became mine and I'm his.

 

Slowly,as time passes by,his group gain more popularity that make him busier than before.Our usual day of meeting each other,keeps changing from Friday night to other time.He keeps forgetting our secret date at the park.Though I can understand him, but there is a part of me who wish that our relationship are like other couples as well.No secret call,no secret code when he calls or no late night date when no one around.I want to be proud of him as my loved one.But,I keep those wishes deep in a corner of my heart.Right now,seeing his face and listen to his soothe voice is just more than enough.

 

"Hi..."I enters the practice room.The boys stop dancing and slowly greet me.I smile and handing them the food and beverages.The boys widely smile.But I can't see him.We are having our peaceful lunch when he enters the room with a frown on his forehead.

"Hyung,Danni is here."Yurp,I am younger than all of them.Including the youngest one,Sungjong.He looks at me for a second before releases a heavy sigh.He takes a sip of the mineral water while ruffles his wet hair and walks to me.He squatted to me and reaches for my hands.

"Let's have a talk."I nodded.

 

I am alone,viewing the Han River.The breeze that blew smoothly somehow can't calm my confused heart.I take a deep breath before release it.My head keeps processing our earlier conversation.His words somehow remain deep in my heart and somehow,creates another scar.

"Please don't misunderstand my words but I just wish that you...shouldn't come here often.It's not that I hate but..."He can't continues his words nor looking into my eyes.He keeps adverted his eyes while talking to me.I nodded while smiling,tell him that I understand him though I didn't.He smiles and reaches for my hands,leave a warm kiss on my forehead before enter the practice room.Leaving me alone,standing outside the room.

I glance to my phone.His smile greets me.My wallpaper was the picture of us having our sweet first kiss.I plastered a bitter smile while caressed his photo.Sunggyu Oppa,this feeling of mine is wrong right?I speak in my mind.Somehow,me heart didn't feel pleased today.

 

The leader of Infinite,Kim Sunggyu was caught red-handed dating a female idol.

Sweet late night date of Kim Sunggyu.

Sunggyu and his secret lover?

Sunggyu's secret lover turns out to be a female idol that he adores a lot,Kim Hyuna.

I lean on the wall,outside of his dorm.I bit my lips,thinking of what to say.He still didn't come back.The members said they can't call him nor he reply their messages.I patiently wait when the elevator's door open ans revealed him with his all-black outfit.His hair is messy,he have this tired expression on his face.He then sees me.I smiles sweetly at him.He sighed,I can hear it.

"Not now.I'm tired."He said that while walking past me.I stunned for a moment but grabs his wrist. I glances to his face.There is this annoyed expression that I caught.Is he feels annoyed?I gulped before I ask him whether the news are true.He snapped from my grips while looking away.

"It's none of your business!!"He raises his voice while glaring at me.My whole body becomes ice.I can't even breath.He ruffles his hair in an annoyed way.His voice makes the members peeking outisde the door.I tried to calm myself and brushed the anger away but it flew out my mouth.

"None of my business?!Who do you think I am?!"I want him to know that I was hurt with his words.

"Just go home."He walk away,enter the dorm leave me hanging without answer.I bit my lower lips,endure the anger.

I sit on the couch,sitting there blankly with my knees on my chest.My hair still wet due to my late bath at night.The rain that keeps pouring makes the night cold,just like my heart.I hug myself that only wears knitted white sweater and white shorts.I place my chin on my knees,somehow I can smell his scent.As I flashback our memories,tears start to flow out just like the rain.And somehow it didn't come to a stop.It keeps flowing,released all those frustrated feelings though it can't heal the scars in my heart.Is this the end of us?Is this how the pain of slowly knowing where we ended up?I keeps speaking in my mind,trying to figure out what happen next.That night,no phone call or sweet goodnight message from him.That night,I sleep like a baby with the tears' stain on my face.