001.

Auburn-colored leaves are starting to fall—I can’t help but smile at the sight of them at the pathway of this place. The air is cold and I can’t help but shiver—I knew winter would be just around the corner.

Nothing much changed to this place; just new occupants and faint smell of burnt incense.

I’m here almost every month, ever since that day.

It has been a year since then.

I missed her—and this reddish-brown leaves remind me so much of her eyes. With the bouquet of blue tulips in my hand and few things I brought for her, I sighed as I walked my way to her place.

Each time I visit her here; I can’t help but remember the times she was with me. I miss her more as I did that—but I guess just it when you love someone right?

I looked at my wedding band and smiled. Happy anniversary to us, Ri Seu. You’re unfair. I celebrated alone, I murmured as I stood in front of her place.

It’s been a year too, since I married her. “This is the best day of my life, Luhan. I love you.” I remember her telling me that, and I, was the happiest man in the world that day.

I love her. I love her so much.

Those were the words that I kept telling people around us, but they won’t listen. I married her despite of the circumstances, and despite of her disapproval.

It was suicide marrying her, but I don’t care.

I love her, and it pains me knowing that even if she wanted it too, she can’t think of marrying me because she’s afraid of leaving me.

Spending days in the hospital with her—when it was supposed to be our honeymoon—was one of the best days of my life with her; as she tried to be a good wife to me.

“If I were to live again, I’ll look for you and marry you.” She promised as she got hospitalized after our wedding day. I dared not to speak, as I can’t hold back the tears in my eyes. I just brought her closer to me, and hugged her carefully.

“I really wanted to be with you Luhan…but how can I if I’d leave you so soon?” She whispered to me that night; despite of her having hard time breathing.

“I love you Riseu…don’t leave me. Please.  Just stay with me.” I pleaded her softly. I don’t want her to suffer any longer—but I am not prepared; I don’t know what to do with my life yet without her…

002.

Two and a half years ago.

He threw his jacket to the sofa and lay down. He was tired as heck; and all he wanted to do was to rest. It has been years since he became an idol—a part of the idol group EXO. It was tiring as the years pass, but it was his job, to entertain their fans.

He came to South Korea to study, but he didn’t know that he will be an idol—of course, that was history. It was already five years, he thought. One of their members, Min Seok, was even preparing for his military service as he was the eldest Korean member then. Him, Yi Xing and Zi Tao were not afraid nor anticipating it as they are foreigners—and would never be required of it.

All he wanted right now was a change of environment, a break, or anything that wouldn’t remind him of work.

He wanted to date, if that’s possible. Openly dating, that is.

He heard a knock on the door—and he knew it was his co-members. Opening it revealed a beautiful lady in dressed in camouflage long sleeves and black skinny pants tucked inside high-cut boots; he can’t help but stare back at her round expressive brown eyes and look at her thin pinkish lips. Her long hair was pure black and draped on her small-framed shoulders.

He shook his head as he realized that he was checking her out, to his dismay to himself.

“Uhm, hello.” He greeted awkwardly. “You are?”

She bowed slightly and smiled at him—he can’t help but look away as he felt his cheeks heating. “Hi. I’m Park Ri Seu, Chan Yeol’s cousin. I’m looking for him. Pardon the intrusion.” She talked to him formally, which made him more uneasy.

She looked at him normally—and heavens forgive him for thinking so highly of himself, but he wasn’t used to it. It was as if she doesn’t see him attractive; or he just looked too ‘normal’ to her.

Park Ri Seu… “Ah… He’s still on stage I guess.” He stuttered, he knew. “Were you given a back stage pass—“

“I was. But I’m only here to deliver these,” she showed a bag of boxes on the floor. “It was the food he asked for from Viva Polo.” She said, referring to the Chan Yeol’s mom restaurant.

“You weren’t here to watch the concert?” he can’t help but ask. She doesn’t know me, does she?

“No. I just came here for this.” She looked away from him and check out the surroundings. “But your room says it EXO. Mind if I’d just leave these foods here?” she asked politely.

 He just nodded. It feels like I’m just a wind talking to her. She doesn’t have much of a reaction, but her smile earlier is the best. He was attracted to her, but it feels unfair that she doesn’t seem to be affected of him.

Heck, he is a visual. EXO’s visual. He’s LUHAN.

But why is the girl in front of him doesn’t seem to mind?

He watched her bring the bag inside their room; and she doesn’t even look to him, much to his dismay.

He bowed before him and exited the room; but he pulled her to her surprise. She looked at her questioningly.

“Ahm… I think I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Lu Han. I’m EXO’s member too.” He said, even bowing before her. He watched her reaction—but there was nothing to it. Not even a small smile or glint of amusement in her eyes.

He felt somehow small in front of her now—though literally, she was just right below his shoulders in terms of height.

“Chan Yeol has talked about you a few times in our family dinners. Nice to meet you.” She bowed to him again, “I shall take my leave then. Thank you for letting me in.”

She turned her back to him—and he was just so pissed of himself.

003.

Ri Seu almost collapsed near the back stage. Chan Yeol, her cousin was grinning ear to ear as he saw her looking exhausted.

“So how was it meeting him?” he asked her, even slightly patting her shoulders.

“Tiring. I never thought I can pull up that kind of stunt.” She said panting. “I really stopped myself from fangirling.”

“That’s my cousin!” Chan Yeol proudly shook her hand. “Should I set up another meeting for you and him?”

She shook her head. She thought she forgot to breathe in front of Luhan, her ultimate bias. It was difficult for her to pretend that he was nothing in front of her; it took a lot of resolve and guts to execute their ‘first meeting’. “Ahh. Yeol, I think I need to breathe first. I can’t believe I finally met him!”

“You did it. You can keep doing it.” He said with those creepy smile of his. “I feel like cupid, cousin. I want the two of you to be together.”

She raised a finger in front of him. “Hold that thought right there, Park Chan Yeol. I just said I wanted to meet him—not date him! He’s a freaking Chinese dude; of course he’d want a Chinese girl too.” The thought made her sad, but she just shook those feelings away. Note to self, no falling in love with an idol, Park Ri Seu. You can’t fall in love too. She knew that thought hurt more.

“Tsk, tsk. What’s with the sad look, cousin?” Chan Yeol asked, noticing the sad look in her face. “Don’t think about it, Ri Seu,” he said after realizing it.

“I can’t help but…”

“You’ll live