Word Count: 2,385 words

Summary: Kyungsoo is curious about Jongin's previous lovers. How many were there before him? How many people did Jongin say I love you to?

It’s a peaceful Saturday morning with the wind blowing gently at the curtains, making it flutter to let the filtered sunlight in. Jongin wakes up first and upon seeing the body right against his, holding him in a tight embrace, he smiles affectionately. He croaks a soft good morning to the still asleep body, voice thick and laden with sleep. He sees the body stir a bit and inch closer to his warmth, the eyes of his lover shut close and not wanting to open up. He laughs, happiness running deep and overwhelming.

“God, I love you so much,” he murmurs into the hair of his beloved as he places a kiss upon his head.

Kyungsoo smiles with his eyes closed, his grip on Jongin’s waist tightening a bit to indicate he heard him. It takes a moment for the petite male to open his eyes, his vision focusing on Jongin. The day is just beginning and the light filtering in gives a surreal effect to the latter’s physique. Kyungsoo throws a gummy smile at his boyfriend and wonders where along the line he got blessed with such a gorgeous man from inside and out. He can’t believe that this man in front of him is all his, and his alone. However, thoughts like this also make him wonder how many lovers Jongin had prior to him. How many other people were lucky enough to be told I love you by Kim Jongin? Kyungsoo chews on his lips a bit, curious to ask the question but also wary whether he wants to hear Jongin’s answer. In the end, curiosity got the better of him and he scoots closer to Jongin.

Kyungsoo sits up and stares into Jongin’s eyes. “Hey,” the latter hums at him, “how many were there before me?”

“What?” Jongin looks startled at the sudden question.

“How many guys did you love before me?” the older presses on.

Jongin opens his mouth before closing it again, face contemplating on how to answer Kyungsoo’s question. Upon figuring out what way to approach the matter, he honestly replies, “Five people. There were five people before you.”

If the older was disappointed about the number, his face doesn’t let it on. He merely folds his legs and sits comfortably in front of the younger. “Who were they? Do you remember their names?”

There was a twinkle in his eyes that tells Jongin his boyfriend wasn’t put off by the number of previous lovers he had, only sheer interest. He smiles, recalling the previous five guys who were precious to him. “Who, what, when, where, why.”

“Who. His name was Minseok hyung. It was an unrequited love.”

When Jongin was a freshman in college, just freshly out of high school, his first year was full of hectic tests and essay papers, homesickness, adapting to several transitions in life, and the whole cliche of butterflies acquired from a crush. Truthfully, his first year was a mess and blur of headaches from teachers and homeworks combined. Jongin was doing badly on his History class hence why his professor highly urged him to get himself a tutor. The news of the prospect of failing his class blared sirens all over his head and so, with the help of some trusted friends, he found himself a senior as a tutor. If his best friend Sehun hadn’t mentioned the tutor to be four years older than both of them, Jongin would have gone on his whole freshman year thinking that the senior was his batchmate.

With Minseok’s calm demeanor and cute, kind face, it wasn’t hard for Jongin to lower his guard down around the older and fall for his charms. The latter was head over heels for the cute senior and every time they have their tutoring sessions, he couldn’t stray his eyes away from Minseok for a long time. Nonetheless, his freshman year was a full out ride from tasting what college was like for the first time and trying not to be too conspicuous about his adoration to the senior (although Sehun would like to disagree by saying it was as clear as day and night to everybody).

Jongin confessed to Minseok after knowing each other for four months, and, even if the former thought his senior was beautiful and full of cuteness inside and out, so did everyone else. The older let Jongin down softly but it still didn’t avoid the pain that heartbreak causes, whether be it reciprocated or not. Jongin nursed a broken heart for a month, regretfull that his feelings won’t be able to bloom and shower Minseok with his love.

A person becomes even far more lovely when showered and nurtured with love.

That was a line Jongin soon learned after witnessing Minseok smile with his lover holding the older’s hand tightly. The sight brings a pang of pain and jealousy within him but he surmises, if Minseok’s happy, then so is he. Jongin was also extra thankful that nothing changed between his and Minseok’s easy and comfortable friendship.

“What. I had a close friend that I loved, his name was Baekhyun hyung.”

During Jongin’s college life, he was known to be a very close friend of Byun Baekhyun, that well rounded, lovable junior. Baekhyun was only two years older than Jongin and really easygoing, so the two met and became friends through a mutual friend of theirs, Chanyeol.

Jongin’s love for the energetic junior stemmed out from their friendship. He loved how in sync they were with each other to the point that they weren’t even the slightest bit awkward on their first meeting. He loved Baekhyun’s carefree laugh that also draws out the laughter in him. He loved Baekhyun’s mannerisms, positiveness, and warm heart. They could have been the perfect pair but time wasn’t merciful to them. They never caught each other at the right timing. If one was single, the other wasn’t and vice versa. Maybe in this lifetime, their love wasn’t meant to cross paths. Two parallel lines closely  standing side by side yet never intersecting.

“When. The first time I fell in love was during my first year in high school. He was my first love, first kiss, and first boyfriend. His name was Jongdae hyung and we shared a lot of firsts together.”

Jongin was merely a freshman when he first felt his heart skip a beat. He fell in love with a witty yet warmhearted junior who was in the same dance class as he was. He fell for that funny junior with the awkward dance moves and cheshire like grin, mischievous and alluring.

Jongdae was a bittersweet memory that he will cherish for the rest of time. It is with fondness and a smidgen of tangy bitterness that he would recall the memory of the freshness and sweetness of youth. Jongdae was the embodiment of youth and sweet innocence that he can never return to.

It was a time in his life when Jongin would understand the inner workings of love and the heartache it brings, after hearts no longer connect and the red string of fate doesn’t lead to themselves. It was a point in time that will be visited countless of times in the future as memories pile up one by one yet will not replace the uniqueness of youth.

Youth is that person you keep remembering once you pursue that road down memory lane, and, for Kim Jongin, that person was his first of everything, Kim Jongdae.

“Where. A year after I graduated in college, I shortly moved to a town in the province of Changsha in China. I was actually offered a six month internship over there and I accepted it in a heartbeat. It was a once in a lifetime chance and it would look good on my records, plus the expenses were all paid for free to the lucky few who was selected alongside myself. His name was Yixing hyung, and he was a dance buddy of mine during my short stay there.”

The first week Jongin spent away from home was tolerable, he’s been to dance competitions and trips before so it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling. However, after he passed the second week mark, Jongin was bombarded with the feeling of indescribable homesickness. He missed his family, his mom, dad, and sisters. He also definitely missed his pet dogs and he’s worried that his kids weren’t eating well contrary to what his mom would report to him. He was in a foreign environment with no close kins nearby to help ease his heart and for the first time in Jongin’s life, he felt the confines of solitudeness.

The first time Yixing approached him was during his third week in Changsha. He was just minding his business and packing away his things already after an intense dance choreography when he felt a tap against his sweaty shoulder. He turned around to look at who wanted his attention and was met with an amiable smile coupled with a dimple. He was then asked in an adorable accent whether he would like to join the Chinese dancer and his friends as they go out for some late night snacking. Jongin had half a mind to say no but he thought what the heck and went along with the wave. He was feeling too lonely to just be by himself anyway.

Jongin soon found out that Yixing and his friends knew Korean at a conversational level and so speaking to them in his native language was hugely comforting to his lonely heart. It might have been Yixing’s act of selflessness that made him fall, or it could also be the Chinese male’s cute naivety that attracted him. Whatever it was, Jongin fell for him halfway through his sixth week during his stay in Changsha.

Yixing was a fun lover. He was spontaneous, gentle and attentive. It was because of him that Jongin wanted to be someone better in order to match him. He became the reason why the dancer postponed his return to Korea and extended his stay for another six more months. However, Jongin knew that no matter how much he wants to stay in China, he has to go home at some point and so when his time to leave came, he left a piece of his heart to the dancer with the cute dimple in Changsha.

Even up to now, Jongin still longs for the missing piece to return home but he knows it’s being cherished carefully by the dancer he fell for. And just for that, he is content and happy to have had a beautiful memory for himself and Yixing.

“Why. Why I fell in love was because my friend showed me the beauty of life and the greatness of its complex simplicity. He was a good older friend of mine who suffered from a genetic condition that causes him to gradually be blind as he gets older. His name was Junmyeon hyung and he was a major factor in my life.”

Kim Junmyeon was a studious person by nature and not even his condition can stop him from studying diligently night after night. He came from a family that consists of him, his father, his mother and sister. It was a cruel irony that his mother who was a doctor couldn’t help him with his condition since it was genetic and medicine’s technology has no cure for it as of the moment.

The two met when Jongin was a senior in college, and they started to get to know each other after they did a project for their Statistics class. Jongin majored in Dancing but he also minored in Economics. Getting to know Junmyeon was an eye opener for him because no matter how unfair the former’s condition was to any onlooker, the older male simply embraced it and held no grudge to the world or whatsoever. He took his medical condition in stride and instead of dwelling on the negativity and feeling sorry for himself, he just took it as a challenge and still continued doing what he loved, which was Mathematics.

Jongin fell in love with Junmyeon’s determination and wonderful characteristic. He was especially thankful to the older male because it made him realize how lucky he is to have no medical condition that could hinder him in life. It made him realize that the things he’s taking for granted could be precious to those who are struggling in life. Kim Junmyeon was and still is someone admirable to Jongin and he’s grateful to the older for teaching him one of the most valuable lessons there is in life.

Kyungsoo purses his lips and looks at Jongin in wonderment. “Hmm, so what does that make me? Am I a what? Or am I a who?”

Jongin smiles softly at the doe eyed male and embraces him, “You? You’re not any of them.” Kyungsoo looks up at him in confusion. “You’re all of them. You’re the who, what, when, where and why, all at the same time. You’re who I dream of being in love with. You’re my ideal and everything else that I look for in someone. You’re what I dream of loving in someone. You understand me perfectly well, more than I understand myself and love me just for being me.You’re when I fall in love, because everyday with you is like a brand new page in our story that I know will always end in a happily ever after.  You’re where I loved the most because you staying right with me is all I could ever want for and I know wherever you go I will follow. Home for me is where you are and with you next to me is paradise. You’re why I love and still continue to do so. You inspire me to live everyday to the fullest and become a better man, so that I can stand next to you without fear of you becoming embarrassed of me. You’re my eternal muse. The last one for me is you and without you, I can never imagine what life would be. I love you, Do Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo tearily laughs at him, his voice similar to that of Spring’s melodic tinkling. “I love you too, Kim Jongin, my forever prince charming.”

A/N: Phew, I finally finished it. Anyway, it might be days late but happy kaisoo day~ Also, forgive me for the grammar mistakes since it's unbeta'd and it's 2 am right now. ;;;; On the last note, please enjoy and tell me what you guys think. ^ u ^)b