I have only one dream in mind, and that is to be happy. It hasn't been easy, and there have been plenty of setbacks in my life, but I think I've finally found the one key to my eternal happiness which blooms through the harsh winters of life's seasons. What strangles me, though, is the thought that my happiness in the mere presence of him may not be mutual. What if he actually thinks I'm annoying? Or what if he later leaves me like so many people have before, without hesitation? I think of these things and worse when I'm alone, and yet for some reason when I'm with him, I can only feel joy, content, assurance.

Happiness.

Do Kyungsoo is my bestest friend out of our whole circle of friends in school. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty close to the other ten of them, too. It's just... with Kyungsoo, it's different. We hang out all the time, and I greatly enjoy his presence however it may come. We can make each other laugh, and he comes over to my house whenever his parents are fighting, or if he's upset. My heart has been racing every time he sits close lately, and I find myself lost in his mesmerizing chocolate eyes. But what gets me the most is his voice... oh God his voice... I long to hear it in all its glory. Whether singing or even just talking in his small talkative moments, his voice is always music to my ears. This beautiful, doe-eyed man is the source of all of my true happiness. Not even Chanyeol and Baekhyun's pranks, silly antics, and happy-virus-spreading could give me any sort of joy that compared to that which comes with Kyungie's presence alone.

I guess it's pretty obvious to say that I have fallen in love with him, and thinking about it now, while intently watching him busily cook away his troubles in my kitchen, it makes me smile at how much of an impact he's really had on me. My only problem is, I don't know how to tell him, or even if I should at all. He could easily hate me forever, looking at me with disgust for my gay attraction to him. I wouldn't be able to take it, not from him of all people. So I keep it to myself, and instead hope for a miracle this December to let him know my feelings and maybe even give me the courage to ask for a decent relationship for once in my life.

******

The snow falls lightly all around as Kyungsoo and I walk through the empty park without much of a purpose. He is humming the peaceful tune of I Love You by Daesung, which I recognize because he sings it often and I, myself, became addicted to its sweet words and melody the first time I heard it. My already-present smile widens underneath my scarf, and we continue on as I listen, entranced by his voice as he switches from humming to softly singing the words to no one in particular.

Eventually, we get to an area of the park which no one usually bothers to walk all the way out to. There's a crystal blue lake with shores covered in a layer of ice and snow. A bench sits off-shore a ways, around which are a few brightly coloured flowers swaying in the small wind accompanying the light snowfall. I've made a habit of coming here in my free time, mostly when walking my dogs, or if I need time to clear my thoughts. If I ever come with another person, like I am today, it is only Kyungsoo whom I will bring. I refuse to share such a peaceful getaway with anyone but my beautiful Kyungsoo. 

I notice he's stopped singing, and I start to miss it, but the silence is still comfortable as we sit on the wooden bench, watching over the lake. I dare to turn my eyes toward him and stare at his wide eyes looking ahead, longing for his gaze to be returning mine. I look at his heart-shaped lips, curled up in a slight smile. Even such a small detail looks adorable on him. I wonder how soft they are.. Oh, how I would like to find out...

I avert my eyes before I start to lose myself here. I'm probably blushing mad, feeling this heat on m cheeks and ears. I must look ridiculous. Ugh, stupid face!!! He's turning around now... He's gunna notice! 

I simply close my eyes and sigh, leaning back comfortably and resting in the peaceful atmosphere. I can practically feel my hyung's gaze on me now but I ignore it. He must've noticed my rosy face by now, but I suppose it could be brushed off as being from the cold air.

It's a few minutes of silence before a soft "Do you wanna go home and sleep, hyung?" is whispered near my ear, making me shiver. I open my eyes slowly to find Kyungsoo's face mere inches from my own, but I try not to bring too much attention to this fact. I'd rather he NOT get uncomfortable with me and pull away. 

"Mmm, nah. I like it better here. Besides, I'm not tired, I'm just relaxing a bit." He nods at my words and his lips curl up a bit, his eyes never leaving mine. Ahh, he looks so cute up close like this, even cuter than normal. If only I could just bring him closer and...

"Jongin."

"Hmm?"

"The song I was singing... When will you realize it's for you and tell me you love me, too?" 

******

It's been ten years and not one day since I got together with him. Ten years and not a single day within was filled with anything but happiness. I could die today and it wouldn't matter because I'd die the happiest man in the universe, and I know that he feels the same way. I love him with all my heart, every single piece and part of him, and at the same time none of it can really specified or explained. Indeed my dream is to be happy, and after much of my life being filled with sorrow, hardships, and despair, I've gotten my one true joy and love, and he's mine forever.

Indeed, I've found my happiness.

A/N: Ahhh I'm sorry guys I know it . I'm not a good writer, but I'll definitely work to improve! Please let me know what you think, if it isn't a bother.. ^u^