behind closed curtains grow a graveyard for their souls .

they were lost , blinded by lights in obscure darkness .

Incinerate Heaven

Lu Han was small teenager , barely 16 years old with a fear of heights , he was trapped in the world's most famous circus .

Beijing circus

people all around the world knew them, anticipated them , waited for them .

everyone watched them, sharp eyes cutting through their skins.

Every time he stepped on the stage flying in the air, the huge distance between the secure floor and fragile body made him sick .

People watched as his body flew high like a bird , muscles stretching and contracting as he danced gracefully in the air , his hands drawing invisible patterns around his body as he was flipped by the man holding on his waist . he moved agonizingly slow to sit on his lap , extending his own hands to hold on solid shoulders and the male's hands moved to hold firmly into his elbows . the small boy raised his body upright to a straight line . it felt painful and horrible , it felt like eating on his body until it felt like nothing anymore .

Whispers of "oh" and "waow" was heard everywhere in the huge tent , they admired him , envied him and even desired him . hundred pairs of eyes looked straight at him tearing his inside apart.

 for them he was a dream , a butterfly , a free spirit flying against gravity and scientific principles . but all he wanted was to walk on floor , run away .

Cause behind the closed door of magic realm devils reigned. it was a living hell , flames burning sweet apple trees , wine rivers cascading harshly taking everything in their way. 

he looked through the crowd, loud cheering deafening her , he smiled breathlessly his eyes half closed from the brightness of the spotlight directed on his face enabling him to see anything.

he held tightly the strong hand in his , it guided him away from the lights and fame , into the darkness and aching corners of their changing room.

he stared at his reflection in the mirror ; he was small , short and almost vulnerable, his hair perfectly gelled in it's usual form , his face covered in melting make up and sweat that felt extremely uncomfortable against his burning hot skin .

 A hand squeezed his shoulder comfortingly . the same hand that held him tightly in the air , protecting and caring , strong and scary . it could kill him if it want but it never let go ,it felt secure and safe . Lu Han was thankful.  

"remove your make up so we can go to sleep" 

and the petite boy did as he was told .

 his hands traveled against her pale skin , drawing off all shades of brightness ; bleu green and pink , they once used to look like a butterfly resting on his left eye , it's colors contrasting the color of his milky skin .

" it was hard for you , I am sorry " said the mature figure from behind him looking their eyes on the mirror  

" I really don't want to be here , but I guess I’ve got nothing else to do than this , So.." 

" I know… we all never choose to be here " 

The room feel into silence as the older stripped off his performance clothes to his casual pants and sweater showing off pale skin and define body.

" thank you Sehun" whispered the young teenager biting on his lower lip nervously  

" for what?" asked the twenty two aged man with a raised eyebrow

" for holding into me and never letting me go" he looked at the man with watery eyes , memories of the height filling his brain .

" I was holding into my own self , if I let you go I will fall too " he answered coldly and walked out of the room with lazy steps.

It was late night , the moon was full and the sky was clear . She inhaled deeply , humid thick air filled her lungs . It felt unpleasantly familiar and her stomach twisted in disgust, fresh memories flashed before her eyes as heavy tears made their way to her bambi eyes  

"Mom, when I will grow up I will be a pilot and fly in the air with the birds" jumped the small boy happily as he watched his mother setup the dinning table  

" Sure LuLu , you can be everything you want as long as you grow  up cutely and healthily "

smiled the young woman her cheeks blushing in happiness of her baby’s sight, shy wrinkles started drawing their pace on her beautiful pale skin  

" I am not cute , I am growing strong and will beat anyone who teases my mommy"

 he yelled enthusiastically punching the air and the women chuckled at her lovely defending son.

" oh my beautiful son is the strongest” peeked a black haired man 

" Daddy!!" the toddler run to his father's arms near the door .

" Hello my big boy who have been growing strong ,you are so heavy, I hardly can hold you up now" chuckled the man holding her in his arms and kissing his wife's forehead .

" I have great news for my LuLu" announced the tall brunette sitting on a chair with his son on his lap " we are flying to Germany , I booked a flight , in three days " 

" Oh ! Really?!" asked the boy looking in his mother's eyes for an answer and she smiled warmly at him and nodded 

" YAY!! Thank you , Thank you " sang the little boy jumping and running happily around the house .

" MOM!! DAD"  yelled a little boy crying furiously , his tiny body covered with black smoke and dust . he run  wildly screaming on top his lungs

" Mommy! Dad! where are? are you hiding ?" as he passed through metallic debris thrown everywhere . he jumped past freezing bleu corpses . " UMMA!!" he cried sniffing and sobbing violently " It's not funny anymore" the smoke getting in his lungs suffocating her breathing.

he run faster scanning around the place when he saw a familiar face , his mother’s clothes were torn and he was covered with blood , her right shoulder and side being crushed with what looked like the airplane’s door . 

" Mom I found you , now wake up " he run disparately to her side trying to get the metallic body off her when out of sudden two hands lifted him from the floor and pushed him inside a car .

he was the only surviving of a disastrous plane crush .

 he was thrown in an orphanage before one day the director of the place told him

“ young man by tomorrow you will no longer live with us, a new home is waiting for you. Do you love the circus ?”

The boy only nodded his head in innocence and childish stupidity

“from tomorrow you will be living in a circus, it will be fun and there will be many kids to play with them”

A pair of lips pecked his fine neck , hot breath beating against it’s skin. he leaned back on the familiar muscular chest behind him , strong arms wrapping around his chest .

" still thinking about the past ?" asked Sehun in a whisper against his ear .

the older bend down , kissing the mole on his visible bare shoulder from his falling t-shirt , bringing his small body closer . he let out light moans against his skin sending shivers down the teenager’s back as he   , digging his teeth more and more into the younger flesh.

" I am so afraid Sehun , every night I go on stage . I am scared that maybe this day is the last one of my life , I want to run away so disparately but where will I go? I have nowhere to run" 

the older listened to every word escaping the shorter's mouth. his hands moving to caress his thighs comfortingly. he kissed and bited on his visible bones , tongue dancing on the delicate skin . he let out loud sounds of pleasure as he kissed at the back of his neck .

" I will always catch you" said the man breathlessly, nose planted in the long hair " I will never let you fall and break"

he held on his chin and turning his head locking their gaze , he pressed a full mouthful kiss on his lips , tongues dancing together in practiced movements , every muscle moving to it’s familiar place , they performed their own comfortable choreography .

Sehun slowly break the kiss and stood up.

“ since the first day you came to this place , you held on to me so hopelessly, you always turn your back to the fact that one day I won’t be here to catch you”

the boy looked at the floor shamelessly , fresh tears falling on his cheeks.

" you are young Lu Han , open your arms and fly , let your locked heart escape your narrowing chest . don't be afraid , live life the way it comes, as long as you can breath take the air in your lungs and fly " 

Lu Han slowly watched the taller’s silhouette retreating to their shared cabin.

In the morning Lu Han found himself practicing alone , they decided he will be having a solo performance.

Sehun watched him from afar, eyes focused on his delicate frame . it was hard for him to knowledge the truth. The news of him having to quit the circus was burning his chest, and no matter how much he ignored it he couldn’t stop the time nor make the hands of the clock tickle backward. He knew it was time to let got for he was too old to perform.

the tent was practically dark except from the shy light of the morning peeking through the door .

Lu Han was wearing a pair of black pants and white v-neck t-shirt, he was enveloped by long white veil .

his body curving from a covered white ball to a standing man, his  foot going up in a slow round movement, a jump and then he gathered himself into a ball again . this time his body started spreading with his legs up in the air , his skinny hand supporting his body , his feet making bicycle riding movements, long white veils bouncing around in the air and high above his transpierced by the sun's rays making it glow like a night sky .the boy's bare feet melting in the white of the tissue.

he straighten up, standing on his feet and he swayed his hands in a perfectly memorized choreography .

Midday, the lights burst through the door marking how much time he spend swaying on the soft deafeningly loud melody.

Lu Han turned around, jumped, rolled on the floor and stood up again his right foot drawing a big circle in the air dragging the veil fanning his wet bangs away from his forehead.

Somehow Sehun's word's words kept ringing in his ears like a lullaby.

"Open your arms and fly. Don’t be afraid. As long as you can breathe take the air in your lungs and fly" 

he quickly run to the rope attached to the roof and climbed it . blood rushed in his veins and beating loudly against his eardrums . once in the middle of the rope he started swaying his body slowly in small circles that soon grew bigger covering all around the stage, the tears that fell on his cheeks flew with the breeze shining brightly like small diamonds . The veils attached to his body flew behind her like wings palpitating in the air.

he looked peaceful, angelic, and heavenly even.

The rhythm of the rope circles started slowing gradually to a stop, he jumped off and fell on the floor crying.

he cried because he realized how much it took him to fly; her family, his childhood and his freedom yet it took him too little because he had nothing to lose anymore.  

A/N: thank you for reading my word vomit and being patient with my crap and hope you really enjoyed it <3 love