I shouldn't have said that we should break up                                                                                                                     

I regret, I really do. I thought I would feel better if you were where you belonged, that a burden would be lifted off my heart. The burden was lifted, but my heart, it wasn’t the same anymore. It was empty. I felt empty waking up each morning without you in my arms.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

I haven't done anything good for you
I hate myself for that, I'm sorry
For feeling bad,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         For feeling like I was becoming a burden to you

During the whole two years we were together, I had always felt useless to you. I was never able to protect you from the countless anti-fan’s hurtful actions. When you were sad, all I could do was hold you in my arms until you stopped crying. I couldn’t help you improve your singing skills as I was the rapper. During dance practices, whenever I stumbled and messed up the routine, you always made sure to stay back to help me learn the dance thorougly. Whenever I apologise for troubling you, you just flash your innocent smile and tell me it was alright. When I fall sick, you always skip all your schedules to stay home to take care of me. But this wasn’t right. I was the one who was supposed to help you. I was the one who was supposed to take care of you. But instead, you had to do all these things for me. I felt like I was becoming a burden to you.

Come back to me
Like this, I don't want to end it like this

I hate this. I hate not explaining my reasons to you. It just adds on to my guilt, seeing you break down every night after our breakup.

Come back to me
Something, say something to me

You refused to talk to me, or even look at me. You acted as if I was non-existent. I know it was you way of covering up the pain, but it hurts. I want to be the one who makes you laugh. That soft, tinkering laugh. You have no idea how much I miss it. Whenever you shun away from me like I’m a fatal disease whenever I walk towards you, it stabs my heart seeing all the pain reflected in your once innocent and happy doe eyes.                                                                                                                                              
Come back to me
I thought about this for a long time now
Will you just come back to me now?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

I miss you so much. I miss your sweet presence. Even though we technically live under the same roof, but you fell so far away from me. Knowing that you’re no longer mine, it just hurts. So much. Every night, I lay awake in the dark listening to your soft sobs, when you think everyone’s asleep. Seeing how much pain you’re in, I can’t help but think. What if I asked you to come back to me? Would everything be better? Would you no longer hurt by yourself? Knowing that I can’t be there to comfort you is bad enough, but knowing that I am the cause of your suffering. That kills me.

I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have said anything
I knew I was going to regret it, but I did it anyway
It isn’t working, it isn't work as I planned
Because of my stupid pride

I shouldn’t have said it. I shouldn’t have even thought about breaking up with you. I thought you would be happier, that you would find someone better. But it didn’t work out like I had originally planned. I knew I was going to hurt. But I didn’t know it would hurt this much. If you would be happier at the cost of my hurting, then I wouldn’t mind it at all. But my plan has backfired. And because of my pride, I can’t bring myself to get you back. At least, not without losing my dignity. 

Then, I found out why you always took so long in the bathroom everyday. Why you never wore tank tops, or in fact anything other than long sleeved shirts anymore. That day, I had finally plucked up my courage to explain my actions to you. So I made my way towards you, who was sitting on the couch spacing out. I called out your name, and you snapped back to reality. When you realised it was me who called you, you stood, about to leave, but I grabbed your arm. And you flinched, letting out a soft cry of pain. Frowning, I jerked your sleeve up, wondering what was wrong with your arm. Then, in the split second before you could pull your sleeve down, I saw it. I saw the harsh, angry red scars on your arm. You were cutting yourself. The long silences in the bathroom. I had always known something was wrong. But now I know. And I wish I was the one bleeding instead of you. You’re too precious to hurt. But you are hurting, and it’s all my fault.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Come back to me
I don't want to cry sadly 

My heart shattered into pieces when I realised how wrong I was, when your bottom lip started to tremble violently, tears flowing uncontrollably as you gazed deep into my eyes. A gaze that said a million words. A gaze which reflected sadness, disappointment, betrayal, hurt, and most importantly, love. After all that I had done to you, you still loved me. Maybe, just maybe, I was wrong. Maybe, we were made for each other after all. Maybe, I shouldn’t have let you go in the first place. But I couldn’t cry. Not in front of you. But my heart betrayed me. A tear escaped my eye.  

I have nothing. I can't make you happy
I can't be the man you want
I'll send you away, you can leave me
I know that I will regret
But I will let go of you like a fool

Then one day, you broke the news to all of us. You were dating Kikwang. You looked happy. I felt better, but yet, I felt a strong sense of loss. You would now forget about the useless me. The useless me, who had nothing to offer you. The useless me, who couldn’t make you happy. I’ve seen the way you smile when you’re with Kikwang. He probably makes you happier than I ever had.

Because you were the only one hurting for such a long time
Now be happy without me
Hurry and go,
A girl like you doesn't belong by my side

I probably don’t cross your mind anymore. But that’s good. Because I don’t deserve someone like you. Someone as perfect as you. And you doesn’t deserve to hurt because of someone like me. A useless fool, who lets pride get in the way of his heart.                                                                                       
If I ever look back
A river will flow in my eyes

Now, I can’t bring myself to look at you. To look at the two of you so happy. Because I know that if I do, the tears will come back, and this time, it won’t stop flowing.

I am a lacking person to you
I know it well
Even when I give you my all, I'm still lacking

I know. I know that I lack a lot of things. You deserve someone better than me. I couldn’t bring you a sense of security. I couldn’t bring you comfort. I couldn’t do many things for you. I was never willing to have skinship in public, to drop hints of our relationship, no matter how much you pestered me to. And for that, I’m sorry.

But I still love you, and always will. Because even if I’m not the one for you, you will always be the one for me, and no matter what happens, my heart will always belong to you. But if there's something that I don't lack, that's my love for you. And no matter what happens, I will always want you. Like the fool I am.

Like a fool, I want you like this