I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow, and I
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe [...]

 

Jiyong closed his eyes and snuggled more and more into the fluffy blanket that was placed on his small body. The pillow under his sometimes so stubborn head did not feel as hard as a rock anymore but like cotton candy. Very, very sweet cotton candy.

 

A pleasant smell invaded the young boy's nostrils. He smiled. Had his parents finally brought him to Disneyland? Had they finally found time for him and his wishes? Had they laid him on cotton candy and asked Tinkerbell to sing Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" for him? Oh, it sounded too good to be true! In fact, it sounded so good that Jiyong was afraid of opening his eyes, of taking in the image of the place he had always wanted to visit, even back then when they still lived in South Korea. He frowned momentarily. His parents had promised to take him to Disneyland! Seriously, if he should wake to another disappointment, if he wouldn't see the cotton candy, Tinkerbell, Miney and Mikey Mouse and Donald Duck and Goofy and that stingy duck that never spent his money, he would cry! And he would cry loudly, for sure!

 

But he still refused to open his eyes. No, Jiyong prefered living in his dreams in case this was one. At least, he could do whatever he wanted in them, jump and scream and eat a lot of sweets. And shake Donald Duck's hand or his wing or whatever he had there.

 

No, he certainly wouldn't have woken up if it wasn't for a warm touch on his forehead. Tinkerbell had stopped singing and Jiyong was not amused by that. He wanted her to sing more Christmas songs for him!

 

"Jiyong."

 

The young boy opened his eyes immediately. He always reacted when people called his name, that was something his parents loved about him. At least they had said that.

 

"Still not sleepy?"

 

Jiyong realized that this was not a female's voice. And he did not lie on cotton candy either. That meant he was not in Disneyland. He was in his room, snuggled up on his bed with his teddy sleeping under his arm.

 

The young boy looked up and saw the only breath-taking smile that he would give up Disneyland for anytime, the only thing that gave him a reason not to cry because his Parents hadn't brought him there yet eventhough they had moved to Paris years ago. Jiyong felt heat rushing to his cheeks, but he did not mind. Instead he smiled shyly at the person who was sitting on the edge of his large bed, gently his hair.

 

Dong Youngbae.

 

His educator.

 

The pearly white teeth slowly hid behind a set of full and beautifully shaped, pink lips. However, the smile was still plastered on Youngbae's handsome face.

 

Jiyong stared at him, still blushing. It hadn't been a dream. His senses had only played a trick on him. The cotton candy scent was actually Youngbae's cologne and the one who had been singing for him was also...

 

Youngbae.

 

"I see. Someone must be so excited for Christmas that he cannot sleep. Am I right?"

 

Jiyong shifted his gaze, focusing on the wonderfully decorated tree that was standing in the corner of his big room. "Just a bit." While saying that, he secretely enjoyed the way Youngbae's gentle hand went through his soft locks. He really, really liked to be touched by his educator.

 

"I see, I see. But if you don't close your eyes now, how will Santa manage to place your presents under the tree? You know the rule, right? No one is - "

 

"No one is allowed to see him while he is working. I know."

 

Youngbae chuckled. "Good then."

 

"Bae? I think Santa doesn't like me."

 

"Nonsense. You are a good kid. Why wouldn't he like you?"

 

"Because..., because...", Jiyong hesitated, hugging the teddybear that had been squished under his arm, "Because he didn't make my biggest wish real."

 

Youngbae thought for a while. "You mean visiting Disneyland, right?"

 

Jiyong nodded, pouting. "Mum and dad are always too busy. I want him to make their work go away so we can do many funny things together."

 

"And so you can get rid of me, right?"

 

"No!", Jiyong protested. That was definitely not what he meant! He quickly hugged his educator's arm. Tightly, so he wouldn't be able to go anywhere. If he did, Jiyong would cry. He would cry so much that they could fill the pool outside with his tears. (In summer, of course, since the water was all frozen now.)

 

Youngbae laughed at the younger boy's adorable reaction. He patted his head comfortingly. "Ji, I am just joking."

 

"Don't ever go away, okay? I will be sad if you go. Really sad. I won't even eat."

 

"Jiyong.", Youngbae said sternly, giving him a 'don't-you-dare-to-actually-do-that' – look. "I don't want to hear you saying that again, alright?"

 

The younger boy pouted. It was a habit.

 

"Listen,", Youngbae spoke softly, gently pushing Jiyong back on his back and covering him a bit more with the fluffy blanket. "Ji, we are friends, right?"

 

"Best friends.", the younger boy corrected him. He wanted to say that Youngbae was even more to him but he felt too shy to do that.

 

The educator smiled. "Sorry. Of course I meant best friends.", he Jiyong's hair again. "And I really like you." Ouch! Why did Jiyong's heart knock so hard on his chest now? It hurt. But no – he wouldn't cry. He was a strong dragon! Raawr!

 

"What I am going to tell you now... please never forget it. Promise?"

 

The younger boy nodded excitedly, making Youngbae smile. "No matter what happens, no matter where I am or who I am with, I am always there for you in your heart. Always."

 

"Promise?" This time, it was Jiyong who asked, chewing on his lip.

 

Youngbae laughed."I promise." He freed the poor teddybear from under Jiyong's shoulder and placed him next to him under the blanket. "Now sleep, okay? You don't want to look like a panda tomorrow, do you?"

 

Jiyong shook his head. "I am a dragon!", he said proudly, causing his educator to chuckle.

 

"Good night, Jiyongie."

 

And he leaned down to place a chaste kiss on the younger boy's forehead before showing off his perfect white teeth again. Oh, he was so oblivious to the fact that Jiyong's heart was hammering hard against his chest!

 

And Jiyong? He drifted off to dreamland, missing the sad look in Youngbae's eyes.

__________

 

"Mum! Dad! Where are we going? Take the blindfold off! I want to see where we are going to, please please!", Jiyong whined, trying to wriggle out of his mother's embrace.

 

"Oh Jiyongie, be a bit more patient! We are almost there!", his father pleaded, speeding up a bit.

 

"No! Take it off, take it off!"

 

"Now do you want me to tell Youngbae about your behaviour? He would be really disappointet in you."

 

The only other name Jiyong ever reacted to besides his own was his educator's. He immediately stopped struggling and exhaled deeply. "Don't tell him. I don't want him sad." Ever, he wanted to add, but he was being too shy again.

__________

 

Finally, after being patient for another ten minutes, the Kwon's expensive car stopped and Jiyong's mother helped him getting out of the car without tumbling from excitement.

 

"Can I take it off now? Can I? Can I?", the young boy asked sweetly, making his parents laugh.

 

"Alright, alright. I will take the blindfold off now. Can you count to three, Jiyongie?"

 

"Hana, dul - "

 

"In French, please!" They wanted to check how far their son had come with that complicated language.

 

"Un, deux...trois!"

 

And the blindfold was taken off. And Jiyong rubbed his eyes. And he rubbed them again and again because he couldn't believe it! This was, this was...

 

"Disneyland!", he screamed in joy.

 

"Right!", Mr. Kwon chuckled, "And now look who is waiting for you in front of the gate."

 

The young boy squinted his eyes, shoving his bangs aside. He grinned widely when he spotted a special someone there, waving at him.

 

"Bae!"

 

Jiyong wasted no time, running as if he was running for his dear life and right into his educator's spread and strong arms, hugging him tightly.

 

Youngbae engulfed his small body in complete warmness, drawing circles on his back. "Merry Christmas, Ji! See, I told you Santa didn't dislike you.", he said laughing.

 

Jiyong brushed his cheek against his muscular chest. He could hear his heartbeat: doom, doom doom. He wondered how Youngbae could be so strong with his heart beating like that. Didn't it hurt?

 

Youngbae pulled away seconds after, smiling. "Let's go!" Then he took Jiyong's hand and made it the best one in his whole life. With Youngbae on his side, he even endured the pain that his furious heart was causing to him.

___________

 

"Monsieur, your cotton candy.", the nice woman said, handing the delicacy to Youngbae, who then gave it to Jiyong. "Here you go. Your parents went to try the roller coaster we two rode just now."

 

As they were walking towards a bench, Jiyong had noticed that his educator was not holding his hand anymore. He frowned, not liking the sudden coldness on his fingers. He wanted to grab Youngbae's hand and hold it tightly but he was too shy again.

 

They headed over to a bench and sat down. Youngbae watched amusedly at how Jiyong was eating his cotton candy. He watched as if it was the last time seeing him.

 

"Jiyong?"

 

"Hm?"

 

"Are you happy?"

 

Jiyong grinned, a piece of pink cotton got stuck on the corner of his mouth. "A lot! Santa made my wish come true. We are in Disneyland. And mum and dad are here. And you are here,too."

 

Youngbae stared at the young boy's mouth for a second before he removed the little piece of sweet that was stuck there. "Do you remember what I told you yesterday?"

 

Jiyong nodded, blushing slightly, because the feeling of his educator's finger on his mouth was somehow still there. "I promised I wouldn't forget."

 

"Wonderful.", Youngbae smiled again, adjusting Jiyong's beanie. However, when that mesmerizing smile faded slowly, the younger boy became uncomfortable. Why did Bae look so sad now? He shouldn't be sad. Ever.

 

"Jiyong, this is hard for me, but I have to tell you something."

 

Jiyong listened. And his world broke apart.

 

He couldn't even concentrate on what he was told by his educator, his one and only friend. No, he refused to hear those words that were coming out of his mouth, no, no!

 

"No, Bae! No way! You can't move, you have to stay here and be my best friend!", the young boy cried. He would have ever thought that he would cry at Disneyland.

 

"Ji, I will still be your best friend! This changes nothing between us, okay? I just... have to move back to Korea because my family needs me there, I - "

 

"But I need you more!", Jiyong cried.

 

"I promise I will visit you as often as I can, I will write letters and I will never forget your birthday.", Youngbae promised, squeezing Jiyong's thigh comfortingly.

 

"No I don't trust you! You have broken your other promise already. You will go to Korea and forget me."

 

"I swear I won't, I – Jiyong!" Youngbae tried to catch him, but that boy was fast. He ran straight into the crowd of happy people and disappeared out of his sight. The educator sighed as he glanced at the cotton candy that was lying on the floor lifelessly.

__________

 

Jiyong's vision was blurred and so he bumped into a few shoulders from time to time. He didn't care. Why should he, when not even the most important attachment figure in his life cared for him? He kept crying and running until he ran into a thick body.

 

"Hohoho, are you in a rush my son?"

 

Jiyong looked up and his puffy eyes widened immediately at the red and white figure in front of him.

 

"San-Santa Claus?", he stuttered, half sobbing.

 

"Yes, yes! That's me! Now tell me, why are your eyes so red? It's Christmas!"

 

"I am crying because someone I like very very much wants to leave me." , Jiyong sniffed.

 

"Hm, I see, I see. And that hurts, right?"

 

Jiyong nodded. "A lot."

 

"How can I cheer you up, my son?"

 

"C-can you make him stay? Please, Santa! If you make him stay I won't ever wish for anything again and I won't say a bad word either. I promise! Please Santa, please!" He hugged the old man's huge belly, wetting his red coat with his salty tears.

 

A deep 'Hohoho' was the last thing the desperate boy heard before a familiar scent filled his nostrils.

 

"Ji, you scared me to death! How can you run away like that?"

 

And a familiar voice filled his ears.

 

And two familiar arms engulfed him in warmness again. "Y-Youngbae?" He was in Youngbae's arms? But... where was Santa Claus? Had he dozed off while running?

 

They broke the hug and the educator sighed in relief, wiping away the younger boy's remained tears. "You scared me to death.", he repeated, whispering.

 

"Sorry.", Jiyong said, feeling guilty. His cheeks blushed when Youngbae held them with his gentle palms, smiling at him. "I am staying."

 

"Huh?"

 

"I am staying. I can't leave you. I need you in my life, Ji."

 

Jiyong's heart literally jumped in joy – he felt it! He grinned widely, letting out a scream of happiness before hugging him tightly. "You are the best Bae!"

 

Youngbae nuzzled his face into the young boy's neck, enjoying the moment before reluctantly parting from him in order to look into his sparkling eyes. "God, forgive me, I am probably going to commit a sin now. But I have controlled myself for long enough."

 

Jiyong thought his head was melting like hot snow when the educator placed a soft peck on his mouth.

 

"Grossed out?", Youngbae asked worriedly.

 

As a response, the younger boy pressed his mouth on his cheek, smiling shyly. "Can you do that... again?"

 

Youngbae laughed out loud.

END

__

 

A/N: In case you haven't already, please read the foreword I have written, nae? ^-^