A/N: This oneshot is filled with song references. If you want to listen to them, just click on the asterisk beside each reference (I highly recommend that you do :D )

This is crazy, I knew this was a bad idea. She buries herself as deep inside her coat as she can muster, alternating between trying to see if she can still feel her fingers and cursing Do Kyungsoo for the past two hours. She has been pacing the parking lot at the back of the network station waiting for her boyfriend, who apparently wanted to see her immediately after her long flight back to Korea and couldn’t even wait until after their radio guesting schedule to meet with her. They were supposed to sneak their way in, hoping that the fans on the other side won’t notice. Frankly, his impatience in wanting to see her was touching. And sweet.

Other than the fact that the bastard has obviously ditched her. Right in the middle of the freaking parking lot. At almost zero temperature.

Letting out one last curse, she hurriedly walks into the building, spying the fans who have already set up camp at the main lobby. She wasn’t surprised, really, these girls are way smarter than her every step of the way. 

She plunks down on a nearby chair, discreetly checking her phone again for any message from Kyungsoo. She has been calling nonstop ever since he was 10 minutes late from their agreed time. And her messages have progressed from innocent inquiry to overblown irritation when she didn’t hear a single peep from him.

Oh my God, what kind of a girlfriend am I? Maybe he got into an accident again! She hastily puts on her earphones and switches to the correct radio program. They were on a break when he sprained his ankle in an overseas performance. While her sudden visit to him has actually caused them to get back again, she doesn’t want to relieve the guilt of not being there to comfort him the moment it happened.

Kyungsoo’s shy voice from her earphones almost got her sighing in relief before she realizes that she has been played. Eyes narrowing, she continues to listen to Kyungsoo’s voice—she missed hearing it because they were barely able to talk during her packed business schedule abroad and his equally busy promotional leg for the Christmas album.

She knows how passive-aggressive she has been ever since she got in the building. She wanted to see Kyungsoo to smack his head and shout at him but at the same time listen to smooth voice and drown into his huge, kind eyes. The radio program naturally flowed to the effortless banter between him, Chen, and Baekhyun, which was downright funny and adorable – if it weren’t for the fact that the host is paying way too much attention on Kyungsoo. She is not the jealous type, really – one would be insane to be so in dating a top idol – but what she had been through for the past few hours has rendered her more sensitive than usual.

She sends one last message to him, still hoping—pride be damned—that he replies during the commercial break. When no message came yet again, she turns off her phone and makes the gruelling journey home.

Because any message from him right now will just plainly throw her lid off.

***

The insistent peal of her room buzzer finally rouses her from her (supposedly) deep sleep. Dammit, 3 freaking AM? Are you kidding me? Her suspicions were confirmed when she sees Kyungsoo on the hallway, looking bright and polished as ever while she looks drab and still in the throes of recovering from jetlag.

Kyungsoo roughly pulls her against his chest, the quick motion enabling him to enter the apartment when it was pretty clear that she wasn’t going to let him in. He could see it in the daggers she is shooting at him in that split second she opened the door.

“Thank God, you’re safe!” He embraces her tightly to counter her attempts to squirm out of his arms. “I can’t reach you. I’ve been calling and texting—”

“You’re clearly forgetting something, Do Kyungsoo,” she dryly retorts after she finally manages to push him away. “That was supposed to be my line.” She angrily stomps away from him, kicking the random clothes strewn on the floor when she gave up unpacking her stuff because she was so pissed.

“Hey, don’t trash up your apartment just because you’re mad at me.”

“My place is always a mess. Don’t be vain and think that even this—” she sweeps her hand grandly over her crazy living space “—is because of you.”

“I didn’t realize that you will still wait outside. It’s literally freezing.” His calm voice to the point of admonishing her is starting to fray at her nerves. “You should have just gone straight home.” Kyungsoo takes a step forward but she retreats in kind.

“Don’t make me feel more stupid than what I felt then, Kyungsoo!” She bits out, fists now clenched at her sides. “I waited there for more than two hours! I didn’t even have the time to pee at all! And not even a single notice from you!”

He wanted to ask why she didn’t have a of sense to answer to nature’s call but he’s already walking on thin ice. Okay, she is way angrier than I thought she would be. Must tread carefully. Kyungsoo pleadingly looks at her, hoping that it chips away her defenses. “Jagi~~~ I’m really sorry. Coordi noona switched my coat on the way and I didn’t realize that my phone was in the other pocket—”

“So that’s the best you can come up with?” She crosses her arms. “You can ask any of them to contact me.”

“But they don’t have your number!”

“Kris has my number!” She shouted. “He called me when you got injured right? Why didn’t you ask him to tell me?”

Kyungsoo rakes his hair in frustration. To be honest, he forgot that Kris has her number. But he also doesn’t know what he would’ve done if he remembered. He didn’t want Kris to know that he didn’t follow through…again. For a number of reasons best kept secret.

“I’m really sorry.” He’s really starting to feel like an . He just hopes she is understanding enough to forgive him. Just like those other times. “Please, let me know how I can make this right.”

She gazes at him at a defeated way, and Kyungsoo instantly panics. No, please, don’t do it. He knows that look.

He beats her to the punch, “Don’t say it, please. Tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me.” He takes both of her hands, willing her to look at him.

He can already feel his heart starting to break when her eyes remained downcast. “I’m just tired, Kyungsoo. Just tired. I need to rest.” She mumbles, and Kyungsoo knows that she’s trying hard not to cry in front of him. He’s deciding whether he should take what she said at face value or process its subtext. Even if she means the latter, he can’t accept it.

So he takes it at face value. He rubs her shoulders briskly, hoping to soothe her. “I’m sorry…for waking you up. It’s my fault.” He smiles at her brightly before quickly planting a soft kiss on her forehead before she had the opportunity to dodge it.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll see you later.”

***

Well, if Kyungsoo believes that she would pine for him and wait for his call today, then he has another thing coming. She attacks the keys of her laptop with gusto, focusing on her marketing plan for an upcoming event. When she was transferred to work in Korea, she struggled for a few months drafting these plans because of the language barrier. But now, she can churn these presentations like clockwork.

Given the right ambience that is. The coffee shop is one of her favourites – it’s one of those rare quirky shops with bright overhead lighting, open 24hours daily with hi-speed wifi. And it’s only two blocks from her place. One can’t get a better deal than that.  Especially since her job has a penchant of spilling over past regular working hours.

So yeah, the ambience so far is stopping her from moping around. Even if every nook and cranny of this shop reminds her of Kyungsoo. They have their regular dates here, where the staff is discreet and she can meet him given his odd schedule.

It was going so well for the past few hours – it’s almost 11pm and she knows she has to start packing up – when the sound system belted out EXO’s My Turn to Cry. *

She shots a dark look over to the cute barista at the counter, who returns it with feigned innocence. They’re so used to her being here that they can already gauge her moods. Admittedly, the track is great – it’s her favourite in the album, DO’s awesome voice notwithstanding. But not now.

She turns her iPod on shuffle mode, hoping that it will belt out one of her angsty hipster songs and distract her. Instead, Zion T.’s smooth voice eased through the speakers, singing about cafés and typical love stories and missing his ex’s voice.*

Don’t do this to me, universe, you’re killing me. She powers through two more bullet points, and was already polishing the presentation one last time when the chair was pulled out across from her.

Kyungsoo heart-shaped mouth slowly transforms to a lazy smile. He knew he’ll find her here after a full day in the office. She hasn’t answered any of his calls nor his texts, which just means she’s either too busy or still mad at him. Or both. Which is likely the case since she kept staring at her monitor with angry eyes.

“Hi.” Kyungsoo casually takes off her earphones, knowing it would irritate her. Which is good. Better to get her speaking to him than be met with silence.  

“I’m busy,” she answers testily, only briefly glancing at him before returning her attention to the screen. Kyungsoo would’ve pushed her some more if he didn’t see her hands tremble a bit over the keypad. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you to finish.” He leans against his chair, comfortable in the companionable silence. He softly drums his fingers against the tabletop to the rhythm of the Christmas songs in the background, making sure not to disturb her. The snow is lightly falling beyond the window, and Kyungsoo is reminded that it’s only a few weeks until Christmas day. And he’s happy. His Christmas is extra special this year.

That is if I can get her to forgive me, Kyungsoo muses as he meaningfully stares at her.

She closes the lid of her laptop. Kyungsoo is a patient guy and would probably wait for her the entire night if necessary. Best to get it over with. “So what do you want? Just say it directly so I can go home.”

I want you. How’s that for a direct approach? “C’mon, I’ll walk you home. It’s nice to walk when the snow has just begun to fall—”

She removes the hand that he was about to reach for, quickly packing her things. “That’s not a good idea and you know it.” She levelled her eyes at him. “People might see us together. You have your career to think of.”

Kyungsoo winced. “Were you able to get some rest?” He worriedly glances at the dark bags under her eyes. “I haven’t even asked you about your business trip. How was it? Sorry for adding to the stress. You’re already working too much.” Geez, Kyungsoo stop blabbing, he berates himself. This is so not like him at all.

“I love my job. Surely you can relate to that.” She smiles sadly. “I have to go. I have a product launch on Friday that I need to prep for.”

“Please, can’t you give me a few minutes?” He knits his brows, unsure of what to do next when she just stares at him.

He clears his throat, trying not to let his desperation show. “Are you still mad about what happened yesterday? I’m really sorry.”      

She answers steadily, “It’s not just about yesterday, Soo. Fine, let’s say that it was really just bad luck on both our parts that you misplaced your phone. And that I was stupid enough to wait for you under that semi-blizzard.” Well, it really wasn’t even close to a baby blizzard but it sure felt like one. And she is crazy to even do it. She would never do that for anyone…except for this solemn guy with huge pensive eyes across from her.

Yep, she is crazy all right. Crazy over him. And it is driving her nuts. Oftentimes she surprises herself, at the lengths she is willing to do for him.

“But,” she continues, her voice starting to crack, “what exactly are we doing here? Don’t you feel like it’s déjà vu? You’re too busy. I’m too busy. We barely see each other, even if we try our best. We did do our best right?” She is amazed at how honest she is being at this moment. “It’s happening all over again. This relationship…I don’t know what to call it. I don’t want to be like those couples who are so absorbed in doing their own thing and then barely recognize each other when they’re done and just let themselves fall out of...” love? She can’t even say the word in front of him.

Kyungsoo speaks up when she didn’t continue. “You’re forgetting something.”  His lips thinned. “Remember what happened when we broke up? Do you want to feel that again?” Because I sure as hell don’t, Kyungsoo inwardly pouted. “We won’t end up like those couples. Because we’re different. You said so, remember? We’re not the typical couple. I thought that was what you wanted.”

“That’s the problem. I’m not sure of what I want. We both have crazy, messy lives. Is that what you wanted? That our relationship is different from the rest?”

“You’re different.” Kyungsoo emphasized, finally grabbing her hand and treading his fingers through hers. “You’re not like the other girls I’ve met. It’s what I like about you. I—I care about you. A lot.” He squeezes her hand. He doesn’t know why the words sounded a bit lame the moment he uttered them. Like he has to add something else.

“But what if I’m a typical girl after all? I think I’ve been muddling through this relationship with no idea of what I’m supposed to do. We’ve been dating for almost nine months but I’m not sure if we really know more about each other from the first time we met.” She felt nostalgic about how awkward their first date was. It was cute, really. But now’s not the time to reminisce.

How she wished she can be one of those girls who can read their boyfriend like the back of their hand. She can’t. Not with Kyungsoo. It frustrates her to no end.

“What do you want me to do? Do you want me to beg?”

She narrows her eyes. It’s the first time she heard that impatient tone from him. “No, I don’t want you to.” She says, extricating her hand at the same time, already missing the warmth of his fingers against hers. “You’re not the begging type, Kyungsoo. You’re different. That much I know about you.”

“Jagi, if you think I’m different based on that, I might as well tell you that I’m a very typical man.”

Her breath hitched, her heart beating rapidly all of a sudden. She shudders before finally replying, “Just let me think, okay?” She eyes him warily, slightly afraid that he’s now taking this all of this as a challenge. She doesn’t want Kyungsoo to do anything just for her sake alone.

All of a sudden Kyungsoo’s eyes shifted and he’s back to his squishy self, eyes widening with cheeks puffing out as he grins. She has constantly marvelled at how he manages to do that so quickly.

“Okay, I’m going to let you think. But don’t believe for one second that I’m just going to wait idly by for your call.”

She was about to retort on how insensitive he was being, telling her point blank that he’ll just go on living his fancy life no matter what her decision is, when he suddenly s a foaming cup that escaped her attention into her hand.

“Drink that before it gets cold, it will warm you up before you walk back home. And be careful.” He stands up, taking off his winter hat in the process and tugging it forcefully on her head. “Wear this, I know you get cold easily.”

He gives one last pat on her head, then leans down to her face until his nose is almost touching hers. “I know you, ____. Much more than you realize.” His voice drops. “So I hope you don’t mind if I don’t wait around for your call, when clearly I can do something to help you decide faster.”

He straightens up and ruffles his hair slowly, her eyes tracing his movements. Her brows shot up upon realizing he’s sporting an undercut. Did he change his hairstyle today? It’s been so long since his stylist gave him that cut. She bites her lip from commenting out loud. She was fond of that style, and he knows it.

He inclines his head and smiles, satisfied with how he saved the conversation…for now. He leaves the shop, making her more confused than ever.  

What was that all about? She takes off the lid of the cup. It’s her favourite mint latte with a hilarious thumb-up sign foam art to cheer her on. She rests her forehead on the table, already second guessing if she did the right thing.       

***

“What’s wrong hyung?” Jongin props his elbows on the kitchen countertop, planting his chin on his hand. Kyungsoo has been eerily quiet — well, quieter than his usual self — and it’s making him worried.

“It’s nothing,” Kyungsoo mumbles, still scrawling his list of ingredients for the food he wants to prepare for the group. Cooking helps him relax, and he needed a distraction. He doesn’t know what possessed him to be domineering last night, when she was being reasonable and stressed out.

“Okaaayyy.” Jongin picks up an apple, nonchalantly biting into it. He knew his hyung is too good-natured and considerate to voluntarily dump his problems on anyone. “So, how was noona? She just arrived from that trip right?” He now remembers that his hyung started to become unusually quiet since his girlfriend arrived.

“She’s good.” Kyungsoo keeps his eyes trained on his notebook. Jongin raises his brows in disbelief.

“Okay, fine. She’s mad at me.” Kyungsoo relents, telling his dongsaeng what happened at the radio station and their conversation last night at the coffee shop. He still doesn’t know what came over him when he said he’ll beg. He doesn’t beg. Period. He just wanted to be able to do something if it could save their relationship. And if that means doing the unexpected and begging then fine, he’ll beg until he wears her down.

“So let me get this straight, you just directly told noona that you’ll beg?” Jongin stares at him in wonder when Kyungsoo nodded. “Hyung, you’re officially my hero. I’m not worthy!” Jongin bows reverently to the shocked Kyungsoo.

“Since I’m Kai’s fan, you’re my hero too Kyungsoo~~~~~!” Chanyeol’s voice booms from the kitchen door.

Since when was he even here? Kyungsoo wonders. He clears his throat. “Uhmmm, yeah. So what do I do?”

“Well don’t look at me,” Jongin shrugs, “I hardly have any experience in dating girls. They’re an enigma.”

Kyungsoo faces Chanyeol. “Hmmm,” Chanyeol makes a great show of his sideburns. Probably helps him get the brain juices flowing, Kyungsoo surmised. “That’s easy. Just give her a ton of flowers and use that crooner voice of yours. Or just rent out a whole restaurant while you’re at it.”

“Hyung, I don’t do grand gestures. We’re not the traditional type, that’s not our style.”

“Yeah,” Jongin adds, “they’re like this weird pair who just sits around and talk nonstop – or is talking all you do hyung when you go to her place, huh?” He grunts when Kyungsoo elbows him squarely on the ribs. “Noona’s not the clingy girlfriend, that’s for sure. Really hard to get through that practical exterior. Just like you hyung!” Jongin pats Kyungsoo at the back.

Kyungsoo smiles half-heartedly, “But she wondered if she was a typical girl after all…what does that mean?”

Chanyeol snaps his fingers. “Well if she IS a typical girl, then she would gush with all the straight-out-of-a-movie lovey-dovey stuff.” He cringes at the thought of Kyungsoo’s girlfriend swooning. He can’t imagine it. “But she digs all those left wing hipster songs you made me listen to, so I don’t know what type of event would reconcile that kind of musical taste and being the “typical” girl…”

“You guys are hopeless,” Kris’ voice suddenly fills the air. “If you’re going to beg, Kyungsoo, just beg. Go down on your knees. Cry if you feel like it.”

The rest of the members stare at Kris, deciding whether he was serious or not. “I was kidding.” Kris nervously laughs, patting Kyungsoo’s back a little forcefully. “Knowing her Kyungsoo, you have to make it out of the ordinary but make it something that she can still relate to.”

“But make it clear that you’re still begging.” Chanyeol adds sagely. “And in your weird, squishy way with a touch of grandeur! Hahaha, I don’t know how you’re going to do that but good luck!”

Kyungsoo wearily hangs his head, already feeling a headache coming. “I don’t know where to start.” Is she right after all? Do I barely know her? He refuses to believe so.

“You don’t want to lose her right?” Kris’ eyes pierce Kyungsoo’s. “You’ll do all right, make her disoriented since it’s so unlike you that she’ll forget why you fought in the first place.”

“Just do it from the heart, Soo.” Yixing’s happy voice filled the small kitchen. Kyungsoo looks with relief at Yixing, thinking that he’ll shed some direction on the hodgepodge of advice. “Anything concrete I can do? I’m not really good at this.”

“Nah, just do what you feel is right and she’ll know it.” Yixing’s dimple deepens as he softly laughs at him.

Kyungsoo drops his forehead against the kitchen counter, feeling more helpless than ever.

***

“Good job as usual.”

She tiredly smiles at her boss before waving him off to his car. The product launch was a success, and the high from it is starting to fade. She can feel her feet complaining from all that work. And she has to supervise the post-event clean-up. And she’s hungry. AND she hasn’t heard a word from Kyungsoo since that night in the coffee shop.

So much for convincing me otherwise, Soo. Her shoulders drooping dejectedly, she makes her way to the waiting area to regroup.

“Hey, thanks!” One of the concessionaires greeted her. She smiles automatically and flashes a thumbs-up sign.

“Thanks, ___-sshi!” Her sound engineer quipped.

She should’ve known that something was amiss when more and more people have been thanking her left and right.

“Hey, ___-ah! It was delicious!” Another executive from her company hollered.

What the hell? What’s delicious? She was about to ask what is going on when she got cornered by one of her closest friends in the company.

“You sly fox!” Her friend’s voice virtually tittered. “You didn’t tell me you have a boyfriend! So who’s the lucky guy who finally got under your skin?”

“What? I don’t have a boyfriend!” She tamps the twinge of pain at how automatically the lie escapes her lips.

“Oh yeah? Well how do you explain this?”

She takes her friend’s lunchbox—why does she have a lunchbox?—and reads a handwritten note taped on the cover:

Congratulations on your launch! Enjoy the food!

-       _____’s Boyfriend

Huh? Her brows shot up on recognizing Kyungsoo’s handwriting. Kyungsoo sending lunchboxes for the entire staff? She steels her heart from being overly touched. Well, he’s rich, he can pay for 100 lunchboxes in a blink of an eye.

“Uhmmm…hmmm…I don’t know who this is claiming to be my boyfriend.” Her cheeks are starting to turn pink from embarrassment. He’s never done anything as blatant as this. What is he thinking, even adding that boyfriend bit at the end?

“Pffft, I don’t know why you wanted to hide him from us.” Her friend huffs, already knowing that she can’t get any more information from her. Oh, if only her friend knew that she has in her hands an autograph of EXO’s DO. “But fine,” her friend continues, “I think you have a special box from him over at the table. Just tell him his pasta is good… a bit odd at first, but it grew on me.”

What? He made kimchi spaghetti? For all these people? Not possible. She waves wordlessly to her friend’s retreating form. She picks up the lunchbox with her name on it and opens her note:

Hi,

Sorry I haven’t called lately, we’ve been so busy practicing for a new dance routine that I barely had time to eat or sleep. I think you’ll like the choreography, although the wardrobe is a bit hard to work with. I hope you can watch us perform it soon.  How’s my surprise? I know you won’t eat until everything in your event is settled and the staff is done eating so I just let the food come to you—and to them. I added tons of cheese in yours—just the way you like it.

Have you finished thinking? When can I see you?

Your boyfriend

She almost snorted when she opened the box and saw a happy face haphazardly formed with cheese slices. Geez Soo, how cheesy (pardon the pun) can you get? She shakes her head before eating the food heartily.

She’s so tired by the time she got back to her apartment that she plopped unceremoniously on her bed, letting sleep takes it course. The sudden shrill of her phone stopped her from fully closing her eyes.

Kyungsoo’s warm voice echoed through the receiver. “Hi…”

She answers groggily, closing her eyes at the same time. “Hi there….”

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“I was just about to sleep.”

“Oh. Sorry about that. You didn’t call me so… I just want to check if you received my surprise?”

“I got it Soo. Thanks, you didn’t have to do that you know.”

“I wanted to do it for you. That’s the largest batch of kimchi spaghetti I ever did in my life. And with EXO’s appetite as a benchmark, that’s A LOT.”

She sits up on her bed, frowning at its headboard. “You’re busy enough as it is. Why did you have to cook? Did you even get to sleep at all?”

Kyungsoo, who was just sitting on the dance floor as their practice winds down, started to stand and pace the floor. “Because I wanted to do it for you. I’ve never done anything like this for anyone.”

“Well don’t do it for me. I don’t want to you to be exhausted while going through your schedule just because you barely slept from cooking. This is not even like you, Soo.”

He fails to see why a simple thank you couldn’t be enough just from her. Fine, he lost a lot of sleep since he wanted to do everything himself. He wouldn’t even let Jongin or Sehun take the foil off the cheese. He also didn’t want them to see the heart he was planning to place with the cheese slices. Which was moot since he changed it to happy face at the last minute, thinking it’s too mushy for both of them.

And he wrote all of the tags by himself, every single one of them. Which was a bad idea since his fingers and wrist are a little sore and he had to adjust how he handles the annoying suspenders they are using for the new routine. He should’ve just gone with Suho’s suggestion and have it printed based on how she is reacting right now. Or not. He doesn’t like to do things half-heartedly.

“Well, apparently there’s this side of me,” Kyungsoo defended. “Just say, thank you Kyungsoo.”

“Thank you, Kyungsoo,” She echoed sarcastically with a hint of laughter in her voice.

“So, have you forgiven me yet?” Kyungsoo tries his best to load up on the aegyo on his voice.

She sighs, her serious tone returning. “Please, Soo. I told you it’s not just about that night. I needed time to think—”

“Okay, but I’m speeding things up right?”

“Hmmmmm…….”

“That’s all I needed to hear.”

***

The soft whine from somewhere below distracts her from juggling the grocery bags on her arms. She peers through the tall brown bags and sees the cutest dog with green clothes lounging by her door, plopped on all fours on the shiny tiles. Her face softens as she crouches down, wondering if one of her neighbors lost his puppy…until she notices that its leash is tied to her doorknob. Inspecting the cute toy poodle, she finally realizes that its russet brown coat and beady eyes are a little too familiar….

“Huwaaa~~~!!! Jjanggu!!!” She picks Jongin’s baby and peppers it with quick kisses. “Where’s your dad? Hmmm, Jjanggu?” she croons, hugging the dog closer to her chest.

“Noona~~~!!! What took you so long?”

She perks up at the sight of Jongin walking towards her. She leans to see if anyone is trailing him.

“Hyung is not with me, noona.” Jongin knowingly smiles. “I’m here as a messenger.”

Disappointment fills her eyes, although admittedly she still doesn’t know what to say when she sees him. It’s been two days since the kimchi spaghetti incident. “Oh, why are you here Jongin?” She continues cuddling Jjangu while he bends to help carry her bags.

“Doing this on behalf of hyung, of course. What took you so long? I’ve been hiding near the fire exit for almost an hour!”

“What! Just pray that no one notices you!” Frankly, she’s amazed at how far her relationship with Kyungsoo has gone undetected. Or maybe they’re just boring that way. “Come in.” She keys in her code, then places Jjanggu on the kitchen counter, still cooing over him and rubbing her nose against its wet nose.

Jongin makes an icky face at the pair, “Eeeuuuww noona, stop it. I’m imagining the skinship between you and hyung~~~!!!”

She stammers, already feeling her cheeks burning. “Jongin! We do not—”

“Ick! Seriously noona?” Jongin shakes his head before sauntering over to reclaim his baby. “Look at Jjanggu’s pocket on his belly. It’s another forgive-me-for-being-a-jerk present from hyung.”

She bites her lip to contain her mirth. Another one? What’s gotten into you Do Kyungsoo? “Are you sure that’s exactly the way he said it?”

Jongin’s eyes twinkled before shifting Jjanggu with paws up in the air to show the belly part of its cute clothes. A small memory card was inside the sewn pocket.

“What is it?” She asks, already booting up her laptop.

“Beats me.” Jongin shrugs. “All in I know is Kyungsoo-hyung slaved on this for the past two days. He and Chanyeol-hyung locked themselves in the room during their free time…”

She frowns automatically. Didn’t she just tell Kyungsoo not to bother with this anymore? Somehow she feels that she should blame herself.

There is only one file in the memory card – an audio file – so she turns up the speaker volume.

Kyungsoo’s deep tone fills the apartment. “Hi jagi~~~!!!” Jongin starts wincing at Kyungsoo’s sing-song voice.  “If Jongin is there, make him leave. Right now. I’m serious.”

Jongin grins, patting Jjanggu as it snoozes on the countertop. She softly laughs, “so…do you want some cookies while your hyung embarrasses himself?”

“You bake, noona?” Jongin’s eyebrows lifting.

She snorts and reaches for the pack of cookies in the grocery bag. “Don’t delude yourself.” She tosses the pack to a laughing Jongin. “I think you can rescue some milk in the fridge.”

She resumes playing the audio file, placing the laptop on the kitchen counter as she sits on the stool.

“So…has Jongin left? Oh well, I have a feeling he won’t. Hope you won’t regret this buddy, hahaha. And thanks for offering to help.” She can hear Jongin mutter under his breath.

“Yeah, so…ummm…second present. I was thinking of something music-related, but your taste is so vast compared to mine, so I’m not sure what will surprise you. So, to thank you for the mix tapes you’ve shared with me, why don’t I weigh in on your influence to my musical tastes?” She can already hear the nervousness in Kyungsoo’s voice. Her eyes started to soften but suddenly lights up when she hears the familiar guitar strings being plucked steadily …

She lets out a strangled squeal (she didn’t want to expose her fangirl self to Jongin, he would mercilessly) when Phoenix’s Rome * started playing. “So for starters,” Kyungsoo’s voice overlaying the song in the background, “I know you’re disappointed that I wasn’t able go with you to their concert, even if you didn’t say so. Thanks for putting up with my crazy schedule, and I’m really sorry. Did you know I bought all of their albums?” She straightens up, surprised that he hasn’t told her any of this. “We should go watch their concert together next time. I really want to hear them play Rome live. And watch you cry while they play it.” He added, a note of cheekiness on his voice.

She almost laughed out loud when Better than Ezra’s Extra Ordinary *  followed. “Honestly, I don’t understand this song. “Like a soap on a rope”? Enlighten me, please. I just pretended to dig this in front of you because I didn’t want to look like an idiot.” She finally bursts into laughter then. “You should explain it to me when we meet again, hmmm? When can I see you jagi ~~~?” Kyungsoo’s voice has become singsong-y again.

“That’s it!” Jongin exclaims, mouth still full with cookies. She totally forgot that he was listening as well. “This is too mushy, I’m losing my appetite. And I might lose the remaining respect I have for him.” He wakes up Jjanggu and makes his way to the door. “Should I tell hyung that you love his present?” When she nods absently, her eyes fixated on her laptop, Jongin knows that he has done his part.

She didn’t hear Jongin closing her apartment door, her eyes brightening when The 1975’s Girls* started blasting through the speakers. “Here’s another one I don’t get. I get the lyrics, what I don’t get is why you’re soooo in love with these dudes. They’re not even good-looking.” Good Lord, is that Kyungsoo being jealous and pouty? She’s ecstatic that all of this is documented. “Not to brag or anything, but I have more charisma than they do.” Then she almost jumps out from her seat when Kyungsoo starts singing, “They’re just girls..breaking hearts…and eyes bright..” She is always floored when Kyungsoo manages to sing English songs flawlessly.

Noisettes’ Never Forget You * then followed, making her head automatically bobbing to the easy beat. “I have a confession,” Kyungsoo clears his throat, “she is strangely y. Must be her voice.” She shakes her head, smiling at how he sounds as if he’s committing a crime. “But YOU’RE ier,” Kyungsoo stutters, “I want to wrap my arms around you over her any given day. Okay, now that’s corny, I’m sorry. Forget I said that…or not?” She buries her head on her hands, incredulous at this whole new side of her boyfriend.  

Her heart positively melts when Fun’s Sight of the Sun * subtly greets her ears. “Okay, saving this for last.” Kyungsoo’s voice showing that he is deep in thought. “Because I love this song. It’s exactly how I feel about you.”

I know we stayed up talking in circles
But I like to think the symmetry
Will keep me close to you
For everyone I’ m out to prove wrong, you keep the light on
The only one, you know me better than the truth
So despite what I’ve done I pray to God that we can move on
Cause thus far you are the best thing that this life is yet to lose
 

She almost cried there and then, but was saved from an all-out cryfest when Kyungsoo nervously laughs after the song. “Yeah there you go. My top 5 from what you shared with me, I guess? Uh, I’m adding new songs, Chanyeol pointed me in the right direction so I hope you like them and add them to your hipster playlist. Please tell me you haven’t heard of them so that I’ll be proud of myself.” He softly laughs. “Goodnight, listen to them before you sleep.”

She listens through the rest of the recording, noting down the new songs (which is an impressive list, most of them are just up-and-comers and she can’t wait to hear more) and hoping to discuss them with Kyungsoo when they see each other.

When will they see each other? She misses him…much so since she’s been stubborn about giving each other some space. The gifts were a revelation, she somehow knew he had it in him to do these things, but she can’t believe that she would be so lucky that Kyungsoo would even exert the effort.

And therein lies the problem. She doesn’t want Kyungsoo to be going through hoops for her. While she appreciates what he has done, she doesn’t want her boyfriend – or anyone for that matter – to be inconvenienced for her sake.

After much deliberation, she calls Kyungsoo, already deciding that she has forgiven him, and to please stop with the events. It’s too much. Serves her right for just blurting out that she may be the typical type of girl. Well, she IS typical all right, Kyungsoo’s two surprises managed to sway her heart and made her finally accept what she has been denying for the past few weeks – that she is madly in love with him. The falling headlong into love type.  

And she doesn’t know if he feels the same way.

“Hello?” She hesitantly greets him, clutching her phone tightly.

“Hi…”

“Ummm, thanks for the gift.”

“So am I forgiven now?”

“Maybe. When can I see you?”

“How about now? I’m outside your building.”

“WHAT!!!” She screams, running to peer out the window. True enough, there is Kyungsoo – all bundled up and waving his arm at her eagerly. “Are you crazy?” She shouts over the receiver. “Get in here.”

“With pleasure.” Kyungsoo replies, and hangs up.

She almost passed out from pure nervousness, waiting for Kyungsoo to arrive. She drinks in the sight of him as he smiles warmly at her, taking off his winter boots. The sight of the snow melting on his soft dark hair finally shaking her out of her reverie.

“What were you thinking Kyungsoo?” Her voice was shaking from concern and annoyance. “How long have you been outside?”

“Hmmm, ever since Jongin texted me that he gave you the card and eating the cookies you gave him. I’m sure he just ate through the whole pack.” He smiles even wider.

“Are you crazy?” She sputtered, “That was hours ago! Do you know how cold it was outside? What if I didn’t call you earlier?”

“Well, you’ve waited just like that for me right?” He counters, brows furrowing with confusion as to why she’s overreacting. This is not like her. “I can wait.” For you. I’ll wait for you.

“Don’t wait for me, Kyungsoo. Ever.” She didn’t notice the flash of pain in his eyes. “I don’t want you to.”

“Well why not? I’m the one who’s begging here right?” Frustration is starting to come out of his tone. He’s trying to reign in the temper that will likely follow. “You said you might be the typical girl. Didn’t you like my surprises?” He was positive that Jongin told him that she liked the present. Maybe he was mistaken? “I almost lost my mind piecing every little thing together. I barely slept all week!” His voice hardens.

“That’s my point, Kyungsoo!” She throws her hands in the air. The muddle of feelings during the past hours is building up and making her slightly crazed. “I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”

He stares at her incredulously. “So all of this was an inconvenience?”  

Her arms fell limply at her sides. “It’s just that….this is not like you to do all of these events. I don’t want you not being who you are just for me.”

“Fine!” He snarls, already noticing her slightly jumping from his tone. “I am NOT this kind of guy. But I am doing it because I lo—” He stops himself, his mind taking over what his heart was racing to say. Holy f—, did I almost tell her that I love her?, his heart already twisting with the admission. He doesn’t know how to deal with this — yet — and not under these circumstances. With him still slightly angry and her looking at him defiantly.

Her heart skips as Kyungsoo blankly stares at her. Was he going to say that he loves me? Her face fell when Kyungsoo didn’t continue what he was saying. She chastises herself for being delusional. Just because she has finally owned up to her feelings a while ago doesn’t mean that Kyungsoo would magically reciprocate as well. She balls her hands into fists to stop them from shaking.

“Then stop doing all of the surprises.” Her voice drops to almost a whisper. “You just said so yourself, you’re not the kind of guy to do so.”

His eyes harden, “Okay then. I know you don’t want this—” he takes out an envelope he has kept hidden in his coat and puts it on a nearby table “—throw it in the trash if you want. I don’t care.” He stalks off before he can say anything more that he will regret.

She stares at the entryway where Kyungsoo was standing mere seconds ago, still unable to believe that he left. She opens the envelope, revealing a carefully-folded piece of thick paper.

Her breath caught as she unravels what seems to be a hand-drawn world map. Her eyes filled as she reads the heading:

“Where I, Do Kyungsoo, want to go with you.”

Kyungsoo has marked (and made little labels) all the places in the world that he wanted to travel with her – from stops that she has already gone to (she spends most her extra money having adventures in other countries) to the countries where he has been for his EXO promotions that he wants to return with her “for pleasure, not work”. He also marked the countries where her favourite artists are based (putting a red mark against England because he doesn’t want her to meet The 1975). Thoughtfully, he marked the place where she grew up, writing that he wants to meet her family.

One of her tears dropped on the paper, smudging it a bit. She folds the map carefully, already thinking of a way to turn things around.

***

Kyungsoo sighs loudly. He watches the snow falling against the car window, only illuminated by the approaching headlights. He is tired; it is the first time he performed back-to-back with Miracles in December and Christmas Day. He didn’t even have the strength to change his clothes, wanting to go home directly so he can call it a night. And wallow in misery.

He straightens up when the van slows to a curb, and it took him a while to realize that they’ve stopped at a coffee shop – their coffee shop.

“She wanted to surprise you.” Jongin’s thrilled voice interrupts Kyungsoo’s thoughts.

“She’s inside?” Kyungsoo hesitantly asks, managing his expectations.

“Of course she’s inside, hyung.” Jongin impatiently replies. “She’s waiting for you.”

Kyungsoo stops himself from sprinting across the street, slowing himself down as he enters the shop. The coffee shop was still brightly lit and nothing seems to be out of the ordinary – except that she’s the only one in the shop, with two steaming mugs in front of her.

“Hi,” she nervously greets him. “I didn’t expect you to finish the music show so quickly.”

“Ummm, we decided to just change the costumes at home.” He pulls at the collar of his shirt, his suspenders slightly digging into his skin because of his heavy breathing. He just wanted to hug her right there and then—but he knows he has a lot of explaining to do. He hasn’t called her (she hasn’t called him either) since that scene in her apartment the other day. He just can’t until he can decide on the next wise move to do.

Because he loves her. The real deal. And he’s not sure if she has gotten around to feeling the same way about him yet.

“Oh yeah, I saw the broadcast earlier.” Her cheeks flushed to a darker shade of pink, eyeing Kyungsoo’s suspenders. “It’s for Christmas Day right? The performance in the note with the kimchi spaghetti?”

“Yeah.” He replies, noting how her eyes slightly shifts from embarrassment to something intense. Well at least she’s attracted to me, Kyungsoo reminds himself. And she likes me…a lot. I can start with that.

“I’m really sorry, Kyungsoo.” She blurts out suddenly, her fingers gripping the handle of her mug in agitation. “After all that you’ve done for me… you didn’t deserve that.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry.” Kyungsoo answers, his hand taking hers from the mug before she breaks it from her tight grip. “I overdid it didn’t I? I didn’t know why I became so flamboyant all of a sudden.” Which was a lie. He knows why he did it, but he wants to make sure that she loves him as well. He wanted her to say it first.

She shakes her head. “Don’t overthink it Kyungsoo, the surprises…I’m very touched.” She can feel her tears start up again. She wanted to tell him that she loves him, that even without the gifts she will still love him. But is he even ready for that admission? “I…” she her lips out of nervousness, “remember when you said that I don’t have to be the Best Girlfriend Ever?” He nods. “Well, it’s the same, for me as well. You don’t have to go out on a limb just to be the perfect boyfriend. I don’t want to give you the impression that I need the surprises every time we have a disagreement.” Because I love who you are right now, no matter what you do.

She continues, “I like…the simple things,” to his surprise, she takes out the map he has carefully drawn for her, amidst the countless teasing from his fellow members. She takes out a pencil and starts drawing on the map. “You forgot to include a few more places…” she bends her head and started marking a few points close to each other in the area where Korea is drawn.

“Where are those”?  He asks, also bending his head to touch lightly with hers, looking closely at the map between them.

“My apartment. Your dorm. The SM building. My workplace. This coffee shop.” She mumbles, ticking of each place as she enumerates them, her head still looking directly at the map. “The simple places would be fine Kyungsoo. We don’t have to go halfway around the world to spend more time with each other.”

Kyungsoo nudges her chin for her to look at him directly, both of them already leaning towards each other across the table. “That works perfectly fine with me.” He kisses her softly, already regretting that he was able to hold off for this long without kissing her. I must get her to love me, I can’t stand to be without her.

She sighs as she welcomes Kyungsoo’s lips on hers, reminding her how much she misses the feel of him against her. He cares about me…a lot. He even put extra effort on doing the surprises just for me. That’s already more than halfway to being in love with me, right? I can do this.

Kyungsoo pulls away from her before the kiss becomes more heated for his own good. He smiles, taking his own coffee with him and goes around the table. He sidles to her side, propping his feet on the bench he just vacated while she bends her legs underneath her and cuddle into his arms. Both of them trying to hide their smiles as they hatch their respective plans to make each other say the L-word first.    

“Merry Christmas.” Kyungsoo plants a soft kiss on her hair.

She burrows herself deeper on the crook of his arm. “Merry Christmas,” she replies, shifting her position to remove the iPod from her pocket, showing Kyungsoo her updated playlist.

“Now, about the artists you’ve recommended…”

***

A/N: This is the loonnngggeessttt single chapter/entry/oneshot I’ve written to date. I was given this prompt and planned to write a drabble, or a quick oneshot of ~2k words and make it all fluffy and cutesy. Who was I kidding right? This is 8k+ words long TT I hope you didn’t tire yourself out reading through all of this. *immensely grateful for your patience*

Dedicated to all the Do Kyungsoo fans (and to one fan in particular, I hope you’re giddy and fully indebted to me by the time you finish this), I hope this fic makes you fall in love with him more. He’s just adorable, I tried to make him all manly and prepared him for a mighty downfall (because no one likes to wait under freezing temperature right?) but he came out all squishy and adorable towards the end. Can’t help it, that’s the power (pun intended) of Do Kyungsoo.