a/n: the ones in italic are all how Luhan wished the events actually happened. It's just an illusion playing in his mind.

---

“Luhan, I’m home!” Sehun exclaimed as he unlocked the front door. Luhan came out from the kitchen and gave Sehun a tight hug.

“Dinner’s ready,” Luhan told him, and Sehun nodded, grinning.

“What did you cook for dinner?” He asked as he took off his jacket.

“Spaghetti. I wanted to try cooking something new.” Sehun hummed and leaned in to kiss Luhan, but the latter pushed him away, grabbing his own jacket and some files before heading to the door.

“I need to go and meet a client. I’m sorry Sehun, but you’d have to have dinner by yourself,” Luhan explained as he put on his shoes and opened the door. Luhan had left before Sehun could say anything.

“Luhan, I’m home!” Sehun exclaimed as he unlocked the front door. Luhan came out from the kitchen and gave Sehun a tight hug.

“Dinner’s almost ready,” Luhan told him, and Sehun nodded.

“What did you cook for dinner?” He asked as he took off his jacket.

“Spaghetti. I wanted to try cooking something new.” Sehun hummed and kissed Luhan’s lips softly, before he went to the bedroom to take a bath. Sehun smiled as his cheeks turned pink.

---

“Luhan, let me explain, please,” Sehun pleaded, grabbing Luhan by the wrist.

Luhan turned around and faced him, teary-eyed. “You k-kissed Jongin. I saw it. What is there to be explained?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

“Jongin is just a friend. Our friendship is kind of complicated, it goes way back. Let me explain, please. I’ll tell you everything,” Sehun said softly.

Luhan laughed weakly. “You’ve been keeping secrets away from me,” he spat as he pulled his wrist out of Sehun’s grip.

“Lu, it’s not like that. I-“

“I’m staying over at my parents’ house tonight.” Luhan ignored his lover as he started stuffing some of his clothings into a bag.

That night, Sehun was left alone in their shared apartment.

“Luhan, let me explain, please,” Sehun pleaded, grabbing Luhan by the wrist.

Luhan turned around and faced him, teary-eyed. “You k-kissed Jongin. I saw it. What is there to be explained?” He asked in a hoarse voice.

“Jongin is just a friend. Our friendship is kind of complicated, it goes way back. Let me explain, please. I’ll tell you everything,” Sehun said softly. Luhan swallowed and hesitated before nodding.

That night, Luhan stayed in Sehun’s embrace as he explained about what happened with Jongin.

---

“I thought you told me that you’re free today,” Sehun frowned.

Luhan shrugged nonchalantly as he walked past Sehun. “Sorry. I forgot to tell you that I have decided to go meet up with one of my clients today,” he said as he opened the door.

“Luhan, no, wait,” Sehun spoke up and rushed up to him.

“What? I have to hurry up.” Luhan sighed. Sehun gave him a small smile and pulled Luhan into a hug.

“Sehun, I am in a hurry,”Luhan huffed and pulled himself out of Sehun’s arms that encircled his waist.

After all, Sehun would still be there when Luhan comes home. Right?

“I thought you told me that you’re free today,” Sehun frowned.

Luhan shrugged nonchalantly as he walked past Sehun. “Sorry. I forgot to tell you that I have decided to go meet up with one of my clients today,” he said as he opened the door.

“Luhan, no, wait,” Sehun spoke up and rushed up to him.

“What? I have to hurry up.” Luhan sighed. Sehun gave him a small smile and pulled Luhan into a hug.

“Can’t you change your appointment with your client to another day? Please?” Sehun pleaded as he buried his nose into the crook of Luhan’s neck.

“Sehun, I-“

“Please,” Sehun pleaded, and Luhan suddenly something wet on his neck. His eyes widened and he pulled away from Sehun’s grip, holding Sehun’s face in his hands.

“S-Sehun, why are you crying?” Luhan asked softly as he tiptoed, wiping away the stray tears on Sehun’s cheeks. Sehun let out a weak smile.

“I-I miss you. You’re always busy nowadays that we don’t get to hang out together anymore,” Sehun mumbled in between his hiccups. Luhan bit his bottom lip, guilt tugging at his heart. Then he pulled Sehun into a hug.

“I’ll change the date of my appointment. Let’s spend the night together,” Luhan whispered. Sehun smiled happily. Luhan chose him over an appointment with a client.

---

Luhan bit his bottom lip as his eyes trailed over to the clock on the bedside table. It was nearing midnight, yet Sehun wasn’t home yet. Sure, Sehun had texted him and told him that he was going to buy them some late night dinner takeaway before coming back home but that was  at eight pm.

“Where are you,” Luhan mumbled in worry as he walked around in the room in circles.

His phone suddenly rang, as if on cue. Luhan quickly answered, hoping that it was Sehun.

“Luhan hyung?” Luhan frowned, trying to recognise the voice. “Luhan hyung, it’s Jongin. I tried to call you using Sehun’s phone, but his phone battery was drained, so I couldn’t. I-I had to wait until the doctor told me the news and I s-swear I rushed home after that!”

Luhan’s mind went blank. What was Jongin talking about?

“I wanted to call you using the telephone in the hospital, but I didn’t have your number so I had no choice. Hyung,  I’m so so sorry,” Jongin spoke in between soft sobs.

“J-Jongin... what happened?” Luhan whispered, frightened that his intuition would be correct.

“Sehun g-got into a car a-accident. H-He died, the doctor told me that it was too l-late.”

Luhan’s eyes widened and he felt a lump in his throat. “Wh-What?” He croaked.

Luhan bit his bottom lip as his eyes trailed over to the clock on the bedside table. It was nearing midnight, yet Sehun wasn’t home yet. Sure, Sehun had texted him and told him that he was going to buy them some late night dinner takeaway before coming back home but that was  at eight pm.

“Where are you,” Luhan mumbled in worry as he walked around in the room in circles.

There was a knock on the door, and Luhan quickly went to open it.

Sehun stood at the door, smiling.

“Where were you? Why were you so late?” Luhan huffed and hugged the younger, making Sehun chuckle.

“I’m sorry Luhan hyung, there was a traffic jam earlier,” Sehun replied, leaning down to kiss his lover.

---

“Are you sure you want to take care of Luhan?” The doctor gave Jongin a hard stare. Jongin pressed his lips together and nodded firmly. It was what Sehun would have wanted him to do, after all.

“He’s mentally unstable and he has become more sensitive and vulnerable.”

“I’m not working as a counsellor for nothing,” Jongin answered back.

The doctor shot Jongin a doubtful look, but agreed to let Jongin be the caretaker of Luhan nonetheless. Jongin smiled slightly when he had signed the papers.

“Thank you, Doctor Kyungsoo.”

---

It was three years after that incident, on Christmas Eve and Luhan was merely staring out of the window when he saw Sehun waving at him and walking towards the building. Luhan blinked a few times to see if it was really Sehun, but he had disappeared.

Luhan smiled softly and waved back to nobody.

He let out a small chuckle. Maybe suffering from Schizophrenia wasn't that bad at all.

At least it gave him a chance to see Sehun again.

“Luhan, what are you doing?” Jongin shouted from the kitchen.

“Nothing, I'm just staring out of the window!” Luhan yelled back.

After a few moments, Luhan thought he saw Sehun again, waving at him from outside. And even after Luhan rubbed his eyes to get rid of the illusion, Sehun didn’t disappear.

Could that really be Sehun?

Luhan got off from the couch and grabbed his winter jacket. Glancing around to see if Jongin would find out what he was doing, he slipped on his jacket and crept out of the apartment.

---

Luhan walked around a Christmas tree, searching for that illusion that he thought was really Sehun.

“Luhan hyung!”

Could it be?

Luhan turned around, half-expecting to see Sehun in front of him, somehow alive, but unfortunately, it was just Jongin.

Jongin pulled Luhan into a tight hug. “Why did you run off like that?”

“I-I saw Sehun,” Luhan mumbled a reply, and pulled away from the hug. Why was he feeling nervous with Jongin in front of him? Usually he didn’t feel this way. Could it be that he was starting to fall for the man who was taking care of him?

Jongin stared at Luhan carefully before leaning and kissing the older male softly, on the lips. It caught Luhan off-guard.

“Why did you k-kissed me?” Luhan muttered as he traced his bottom lip with his finger, his heart hammering wildly against his chest.

Jongin smiled and pointed upwards. “We’re under the mistletoe and I like you, hyung.”

Luhan’s cheeks reddened, making Jongin laugh lightly, pulling Luhan into another embrace. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way hyung. I’ll wait.”

Luhan returned the embrace, hugging Jongin tightly. When he looked ahead, he saw another illusion of Sehun, not so far away from where he was standing. Sehun was smiling brightly at him, nodding - as if it was an approval for Luhan to accept Jongin.

Maybe what Sehun had been trying to tell him was that it was time to move on.

Maybe it is time to move on.

---

1.6k+ words.

I'm sorry if it was stupid or boring or whatsoever but I wrote this in a rush.

And I did not check it our for mistakes.

It's slightly inspired by EXO's 'Miracles In December.'

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love, crysjun xx