You walked in to the lobby of an old lodge to escape the cold fingers of the wind that touched your face and bit at your nose.  You plopped yourself down on the plush brown couch draped with a soft fur blanket in front of the magnificent brick fireplace to soak in the welcoming heat that the warm crackling fire brings.  The old pinewood walls and flooring gave off a rustic feel to it with a clean and crisp scent that reminded you that you are deep within nature’s embrace.  From where you are sitting, you can smell the sweet aroma of the hot coco that seems to tempt you into getting a cup for your own.  There are families gathering around along with a bunch of kids busy walking here and there, most of them screaming their heads off.  The room is starting to fill with laughter and chatter as each moment pass.

Leaning back on the couch, you open your hardback book to where the bookmark rests and you began to read the words thoughtlessly, none of them registering anything in your mind.  The only thing you can think of at the moment is the snow covered mountain outside and the curvy imprints that your skis would be leaving on the snow.  If only you didn’t hurt yourself in the silliest way on the first day of the trip, then you might have been out there right now with your friends conquering the mountains and feeling the chill of the wind as you speed down the slopes.  You took a lungful of air and released it out slowly at the thought of having to stay at the lodge the whole time of the vacation as you looked at your bandaged hand.  Your other hand busy twirling the ends of your hair around your finger.

“Hey there stranger.” A familiar voice slid along your ear together with the sight of red mouton boots appearing beneath your book.  “Been a long time.”

Your eyes flew open as you let your eyes wander off to the where the familiar sound came from, only to find a smiling Nichkhun standing in front of you.  It has been awhile since you have met last and the last being not so good as far as you could remember.  “Hi!” you greeted him back with a forced smile as you swallowed a lump in your throat brought about by the sudden encounter.

“Do you mind if I seat?”

You paused and tuck you hair behind your ear, closed your book and unfolded yourself from the couch to excuse yourself to leave.  “Go ahead.  I was just leaving.”

Nichkhun holds on to your injured hand without thought before you could even take a step, causing you to grimace from the pain his hand brought.  “Don’t do this.”  Nichkhun’s jaw clenched as he fought back the urge to drag you back down to take a seat.

“Let go.  It hurts.” you whispered in a guttural voice as you wriggled your hand off of his.

“I’m sorry.”  Nichkhun said noticing your bandaged hand only then, his thick eyebrows cannot help but crumple in concern.  “What happened?  Are you hurt?” You took a seat together on the warm plush couch.

“It’s actually quite stupid.  I…well…as soon as we got to the lodge, I got my hand caught in the door.  Someone closed it with my hand still in it…so now it’s like this.” you said showing him your hand.

“That must’ve been awfully painful.”  He shakes his head as he gently cradles your hand in his with his thumb resting on the pulse in your wrist.  “Don’t you need to go to a hospital?”

The close proximity along with the natural physical contact made your shoulders tensed as you sat up straighter retrieving your hand back from his.  “I think it’ll be fine.   I give it a day or two.  Besides, the doctor at the clinic said nothing’s broken.”

“Good.  That’s good.” he said nodding his head lightly as he gave you that familiar look, the same one that used to melt you deep inside in an instant.  Embarrassed, you tucked your chin into your chest while you run your fingers through your hair.

Nichkhun and you sat still, him fidgeting with his red watch as you drum your fingernails on your hardback book.  A moment of awkward silence fills the air, while you both stared at the wood fire blazing cheerily in the fireplace.  Time dragged on and you became more and more uncomfortable, while you both remained silent seemingly waiting for the other to talk.

Finally, he speaks.  “Uhm…So…you’re here with-“

“Friends…the same ones.” you spun your head around to look at him, his eyes momentarily glowing rather brightly with the light reflecting from the fire.  “You?”

“Work.  So…work friends mostly….the same set.  We’re shooting this thing on the slopes.  Well, how have you been?”

“Good.”  You kept your answers short.

Nichkhun cleared his throat and pulled at the collar of his suddenly too tight jacket.  “Hey, uhm…you and I…we’re okay, right?”  You nodded your head while you fixed your eyes straight ahead instead of at him.  You know you’re not his anymore and he hasn’t been yours for quite a while either, which also meant falling for his charms right now wouldn’t be the best thing for you.  “I saw you enter the lodge earlier and I just knew it was you walking in even from afar.  You have this way of walking while you touched the tips of your hair and biting your lower lip as you looked around.”  He smiled foolishly as he seemingly impersonates you in an exaggerated manner while your shoulders relax at his jest.

“I do not look like that.”  You scowled as you tried to suppress your smile and he could see that smile fighting to break out against your best effort.

“Yes, you do.  You know, sometimes when you’re so focused into something, you don’t realize you purse your lips like this and twirl a strand of your hair around your finger.”  He leans forward closer to you, eyes wide with excitement as he laughed along with you.

“Well, it can’t compare to when you hand talk.” you said with a bit of tartness.

“Hand talk?”

“You know, you flail your hands around like this when you talk, like your wrists are broken or something like that.  Do you remember you hit your friend on the face once because your hands were all over the place?  I think he hit you back.”  You laughed so hard that you snorted and then he laughed even harder from it while you covered you face with your widely splayed hand.

He laughed with you at the thought.  “Yeah, he did!  I definitely got smacked back then.”  You and Nichkhun slowly stifle your laughter, exhaling as much of the air as possible from your lungs.  “I miss this.”  He was scratching his finger at the seam of the couch.  The ice between you has finally been broken.  “We used to laugh together like this a lot…even about the most miniscule things.  We always found something funny to laugh about.”

“Uhm…we did… a lot of funny silly things happened to us back then.”  Your laughter leaving, but a smile remained on your face as you watched him pick the seam with his nails.

“Honestly, I don’t know what happened between us, what changed.  We just slowly drifted apart…and before we knew it, we were already saying our goodbyes to each other.”

“We changed, I guess.  Our feelings changed along with our priorities.”  Your voice soft and quiet as you your jeans from the knee to the thigh and back.

Nichkhun’s thick dark eyebrows rose into a peak in the middle.  “Do you remember we promised not to let each other go?  We promised to laugh about everything the next morning…whatever it is…no matter how big the fight is…we’ll just let it slide, let it go…but not us.  We said we wouldn’t give up on each other.”

You slouched back against the soft fur blanket that was draped on the couch.  “I guess, some promises are effortlessly said all because the situation called for those promises to be made.  And then when it’s time to fulfill those promises, they just…they just turn into sorry.”

“Do you hate me for not keeping them?”

“I used to, but not anymore.” You shook your head as you gave him a warm smile of assurance that no hate in you was left for him.

“I often times look back, wondering what might have been.  You know?” he said looking at you with an honest face and a sad smile, his look suggests a double negative all on its own, but somehow you know why, you’ve been there and had that same look.  “Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like if we never broke apart, if we stayed, if we fought for us?  Maybe we’ll be laughing our heads off right now over a movie we saw this weekend or over that obnoxious pompous kid who fell on the slopes while trying to impress some girls by the sidelines.”

“Or we could be laughing at your new commercial and how stiff you acted.”  You let out a dry laugh as you thought of the possibilities.

Nichkhun arched his perfectly shaped eyebrows at you.  “You think I act stiff?”

“No!”  You waved your hands dismissively at him.  “I thought you were just absolutely phenomenal.  Stiff, but just utterly phenomenal.”  You grinned as his laughter rang out again.

“Don’t you…I mean, don’t you ever think of wanting to be the way we were before?“ he asked nervously rubbing his throat.

You blew out a mouthful of air as you ran your fingers through your hair.  “What’s the use of thinking about the past and what could have been?  It’s not like either of us has a power great enough to travel through time or turn back the clock to redo what was done.  It took a while for me to forget you or maybe not to forget, but just to move on.  I chose to live in the now and enjoy what I have right now.”

“So, you never once thought about it?”  NIchkhun’s face contorted as he once again asked with a mask of hesitation.

“Sometimes…sometimes when I’m watching a really funny show…I think of you and then I start to feel sad.  But I guess that’s only natural.  But I don’t dwell in it.  I might turn up miserable if I do.  So I just-”

“So you just avoid thinking about me.” He said in sad realization.  His shoulders sank as he sighed deeply.  “I dream of you from time to time.  Honestly, I still do.  And some nights I wake up looking to my side only to find an empty pillow beside mine.  Then I start to regret that you’re not there anymore.  Even your scent in my pillow is long gone.  And I think it’s just sad.”

“We had good times…you and I.  We, I think, we had a lot of those.  More than the ones that hurt us, I think we had more fun memories.  Sometimes I get to recall those and then I smile like a fool while I’m alone.” You slowly smiled.

Nichkhun moved a little closer and touched your hand.  “Are you happy now?”

“Uhm.” You nodded.  “I believe I am.”

His shoulders sagged with a sigh as if he was reliving the night they said goodbye.  “Good.  I’m glad you are.” he said with his head bobbing with every word.  “I’m glad we got to meet…like this.  Who would have thought of all places I get to talk to you again here.  It’s a little too unexpected.”

“Me too.  I’m happy we got to talk again.” You smoothed your hand over the front of your jacket.  “Khun, I had to ask…Aren’t you happy?  I mean you must be, right?  I read somewhere once that you’re currently dating this gorgeous actress.  That must be something.” you smiled.

“It’s nothing serious.  It’s just overly publicized.” he said shaking his head.  “Well, old friend, do you want to have a cup of coco with me?” Nichkhun patted your shoulders with a smile.

“No, I’m fine.” you said waving your hand dismissively at him.

“Well, I’ll buy you one anyway.” he insisted.

“You really don’t have to.”

“Let me.  That way, we could talk a little more…spend time together a little longer.” he whispered.  “This is actually more for me than for you.”

He was looking around to find someone to order the two hot chocolates from.  You threw your hair over your shoulder as you turned to scan the room filled with people.  From a far you see a familiar man walking over to where you are in hurried steps and immediately your lips curved upward to a slow smile.

“Hi honey.  Did you wait long?” the man who knelt in front of you said, sliding his hands from your shoulders down to your hands.  You shook your head in reply while Nichkhun sat frozen looking at the scene with brows furrowed.  “It took a while before they let me go.  So, how’s the hand?  Lemme see.”

“It’s alright.  It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.” you said waving your injured hand around to ease his concern.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” he said looking glum as he kissed the hand with the bandage.  “You must’ve been pretty bored all by yourself.”

“Not really.  They left me just a while ago to ski and besides, I had company.” You faced him with a grin.

“Company?”

You nod your head as you turned to look at Nichkhun by your side.“Uhm.  This is Nichkhun.”

“I know.  He’s quite famous you know.” He said as he stood up with a smile.  “I’m sorry if my girlfriend here bothered you.” He teasingly said as you hit his arm.  “Did you get your autograph and pictures?”

“He’s…well, he’s an old friend.”  You stood up along with him and hooked your arm through his.

“Well, the guys are waiting for us.” he said turning towards you, brushing his thumb across your cheek as he leaned towards you.  “It was nice meeting you Nichkhun and thank you for keeping her company.  She gets all fidgety and worried when she’s alone.” He said with a gentle smile extending a hand to Nichkhun who took it to shake and greetings were then exchanged.

“I know.  And I enjoyed her company more than she did.” Nichkhun said trying to appear calm and collected with a smile.  “It was great…wonderful…running into you again.  I hope we could run in to each other once more.”

“I’ll take a raincheck on that hot chocolate.” you said towards Nichkhun.

“I might cash in on that raincheck a lot sooner.” Nichkhun said.

“I’m looking forward to it.” you answered before you turned to leave with your man.

Nichkhun watched you leave in the arms of the man who took your hand, his heart lurching between being wounded and confused.  He gave a deep sigh and then bit at his lower lip, thinking he’s being played by the heavens.  Meeting you again was indeed giving spark to old feelings, making them come back to life.  You set foot out of the lodge and closed the door behind you without looking back.  “I’ll steal you away somehow.” Nichkhun said to himself with a confident smile as he leaned his head back on the couch.