Sooyoung  opened her apartment door. She put her shoes off and placed them on the rack.

Without turn on the light, she walked slowly, threw her slim body on the sofa.

“Damn you, Kwon Yuri!”

She blamed her best friend for making her couldn’t stop thinking about Changmin.  All the conversation she had earlier with Yuri, made Sooyoung also doubting her own heart. Was she really getting over Changmin?

Sooyoung knew surely that the past few years, she never thought anything about Changmin, except the first months after breaking up with him. But just now, she thought maybe that time her many works indeed helped her to forget him easily. Or in other words, she took advantage of her many works to move on from Changmin.

Five months ago, after getting promotion from her boss,  Sooyoung got a lot of free time because she could pass some work to her juniors. The people around her, especially her mom, suggested her to date then get married, but she jokingly said she needs more time to be alone first to enjoy all the money she got. Was it really because of that? Or was it because there’s still no other man who can touch her heart just like Changmin did?

Sooyoung admitted that sometimes she felt so lonely. She was also jealous when she needed a friend to hang out and her friends couldn’t accompany her because they were already having appointment with their boyfriends. But just like that, she didn’t want to do anything to cure her loneliness or jealousy.

There were many decent guys around her and because she has pretty figure, it’s easy for Sooyoung to make those guys fell in love with her. But Sooyoung ignored all of them. After long thinking, she knew she rejected those guys because none of them as good as Changmin.

Sooyoung sighed. All of these thoughts couldn’t help but made her back to the old memory.

***

Sooyoung met Changmin, or to be exact she saw Changmin, for the first time at her first day in college. Changmin was her classmate in Economy department.

Changmin was kind of Sooyoung’s crush at first sight. He’s handsome. He’s tall. He’s chic. Even at the first sight people could tell that he’s a smart guy. He was totally Sooyoung’s ideal type.

Sooyoung wasn’t close to Changmin in an instant. Even after two months being classmate, they were practically only knew each other’s name or they were just exchanged small bow with manner smile when they met unintentionally outside their classes.

That destiny was coming to them, when they teamed up for English project after being chosen by their English professor as a team. Sooyoung was secretly in joy when she knew her partner was Changmin.

In the middle of doing English project in library, Sooyoung knew about Changmin more. He’s fun to talk to about everything: their subjects, politics, celebrities’ issues, movies, music, game, and most importantly about food. Both of them unknowingly squealed when they found out they had same favorite restaurants. Other things about Changmin: he’s humorous, he’s charming, he’s more than just smart, he loves tiramisu to death, and he made Sooyoung fell for him more.

After that occasion, slow but sure, Sooyoung and Changmin became friends. They constantly took time to tease each other during classes. They often did some projects together whether in library or other places but most of time in cafés or restaurants. During free time, they would go to theater together to watch box office movie or just strolled around Seoul for hunting food.

One day, during their hunting food time, Changmin insisted Sooyoung to go to his favorite pastry shop. Sooyoung was surprised when a waiter came to her and said her tiramisu was coming and kept saying it was hers. She’s so confused because she was sure who ordered for tiramisu only Changmin.  By the time she looked up on her so called tiramisu, her heart beating faster when she read the chocolate letters written on top of it ‘Will you be mine?’. Sooyoung looked up to look at Changmin when he touched her hand and said those words with his own voice. Even though Sooyoung was out of words for a moment, she nodded and smiled sweetly in the end. Her dreams came true. Changmin loved her back and finally asked her to be his girlfriend. Nothing was as beautiful as that. Sooyoung couldn’t be happier when Changmin kissed her for the first time that night in front of her house’s gate.

Sooyoung and Changmin were like best couple in their batch. Not like other couple who always showed off their lovey dovey in their own world, Sooyoung and her boyfriend preferred to keep getting along with their friends in college.  They would show some cute moment though, which made their friends envied.

All their friends thought they would be happily ever after, but sadly they’re wrong.

After graduation, both of Sooyoung and Changmin got good jobs, they were separable because of work. Sooyoung was especially busy like hell because her work asked her to reach the target each month. She was working so hard and almost forgot about everything, including Changmin. When they finally had time to meet up, they only filled their meetings with bickering. Almost of the time Changmin asked her to find another job but Sooyoung didn’t want to because she was sure her job has good prospect in the future. And that’s why, after giving a try for countless times, they though it’s better for them to end their relationship in a good way.

 

****

 

Sooyoung sighed. She wouldn’t deny anymore that she missed Changmin. Even so much. But she still confused. Did she still love him? Did this feeling come again because she felt lonely all of sudden?

Sooyoung wondered whether Changmin had moved on or still hoping to get back to her.

“Hmm…Shim Changmin, what are you doing right now?”

She suddenly took her cellphone in her bag. She scrolled its phonebook and found Changmin’s number was still there. She didn’t know that number was still active or not since they stop contacting since forever. Sooyoung remembered the last time Changmin sent her message was three years ago when he greeted her birthday. Thought about it again,  Sooyoung surprised herself by still remembering the last time she had connection with him.

Sooyoung took a deep breath. She had to know what her true feelings. She had to know whether or not Shim Changmin was still the owner of her heart for these four years.

 

To: Changmin, Shim

Changmin, hi?

 

The message was sent. Sooyoung unknowingly smiled when she found out Changmin didn’t change his number.

 

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5 minute.

10 minutes.

 

There was no message in Sooyoung’s cellphone.

 

15 minutes.

20 minutes.

 

Sooyoung was hopeless. Maybe Changmin already deleted her number then he didn’t want to reply a message from unknown number.

 

30 minutes.

32 minutes and Sooyoung’s cellphone was vibrated.

It’s been long time she didn’t feel the excitement to get a reply from someone.

 

                                                                                From: Changmin, Shim

                                                                                Choi Sooyoung? Oh My God. How are you?

 

Sooyoung couldn’t know how to call the feelings inside her now. She’s relief. She trembled. She’s happy. Shim Changmin still saved her number. He still remembered her.

 

To: Changmin, Shim

Yeah, it’s me. I’m good. You? Long time no see~^^

 

                                                                            From: Changmin, Shim

                                                                            I’m good too. So surprised and so glad you still remember me. It’s been long time since we talked.

                                                                            I kind of miss you. So why are you suddenly remembering me and texting me?

 

Sooyoung smiled widely after reading a word ‘miss’ from Changmin. She just realized how she missed Changmin so damn much. But then she confused what answer she should reply to him.

To: Changmin, Shim

You expected me to forget you? I bought new cellphone and was copying all the numbers when I saw yours, and voila I sent you a message ^^

 

                                                                       From: Changmin, Shim

                                                                      Ah ~ I see Choi Sooyoung~ but you are really fine, aren’t you?

 

Suddenly Sooyoung wanted to cry. Changmin was still like before, caring about her.

No, I am not, Shim Changmin. I remembered you again and it wasn’t right, Sooyoung said to her heart.

 

To: Changmin, Shim

I am really fine. Don’t worry. So how’s your work?

 

                                                                     From: Changmin, Shim

                                                                     Since about a year ago, I moved to Zeus Hotel. Are you still working at that hell?

 

Zeus Hotel! Sooyoung widened her eyes. It’s one of the prestigious and luxurious hotels in Seoul. Changmin worked at 4 stars hotel as an assistant manager before but now he moved to another level.

Sooyoung then laughed. Hell. That word was always been used by Changmin to call her workplace when they were still together.

 

To: Changmin, Shim

Yesss…but it doesn’t feel like hell anymore. Not that in heaven level yet, but surely I’m in stairway to heaven right now

 

Shim Changmin made Sooyoung remembered all the things that she thought was forgotten by her.

 

---

 

Sooyoung looked at her wrist watch. Twenty minutes to three.

She wandered around the lobby of Zeus Hotel. ‘You have a nice workplace, Shim Changmin.’ She smiled and walked slowly toward the coffee shop there.

A waiter in brown uniform was welcoming her in the coffee shop’s entrance.

“Good afternoon, how many seat do you need, Miss?” That waiter asked her mannerly.

“I already had an appointment with Shim Changmin.”

H e took a book on the table. “Ah yes for 3PM right? Please this way, Miss.”

The waiter led the way to the table that was already reserved for her.  They stopped at the table in the corner.

Sooyoung smiled sweetly. Changmin hasn’t changed much. He always likes to sit in the corner.

“This is the seat that was reserved by Mr. Shim Changmin. Please have a seat. Our waiter will come soon.”

After bowing to the waiter, Sooyoung sat carefully. This place was so Changmin’s type of favorite hang out place, elegant yet cozy.

“Good afternoon, Miss.”

Another waiter came up. This time was a girl. She looked like a part time worker, judging from her youth appearance. She placed a glass of water and some chocolate cookies as appetizer on the table.

“I’m sorry, do you want to take your order now or wait for your colleague first?”

“I’m waiting for my friend first.” Sooyoung said while smiling.

“Ah yes, please just call me if you need anything.”

The waitress was about to leave when Sooyoung called her.

“Is this place having tiramisu?”

“Yes, it is. Do you want to order it?”

Sooyoung shook her head. “I’ll order it later I guess.”

When the waitress left for real Sooyoung took her cell phone. She opened her inbox and re-read messages from Changmin.

Last night, when they exchanged text messages, Changmin felt sorry because he said he needed to sleep due to his morning schedules for the next day.  Sooyoung was a bit sad but when she’s about to bid him good bye, another text message from Changmin came up.

 

                                                                          From: Changmin, Shim

                                                                          Sooyoung, let’s meet up tomorrow but only if you want and have time.

 

Sooyoung definitely replied with a yes then jumped like a kid. He wanted to meet her. Changmin wanted to meet her again.

This morning, Changmin texted her that he had a sudden schedule. He only had free time about one hour and offered to meet up at Hotel Zeus. Sooyoung, who’s already canceled her schedules, quickly agreed. She didn’t want to wait another time to see him.

Sooyoung ‘s heart beat faster when she heard a loud footsteps behind him. She knew this sound by heart. Changmin has a unique style to step his shoes on the floor hard until it created a loud sound.

When those footsteps came nearer and 1Sooyoung’s heart wanted to explode, a pair of hands covered her eyes from behind.

Sooyoung chuckled. Those hands still felt the same. Soft but firm, and warm.

“Shim Changmin.”

Sooyoung pulled those hands away from her eyes. She stood up and turned around. The first thing she saw making her gasped.

Shim Changmin was only inches away right in front of her. He looked more handsome on his suit and tie. With that mischievous smirk, he looked unbelievingly gorgeous.

“Sooyoung! Finally we meet again!”

Changmin opened his arms but Sooyoung couldn’t move on, too stunned to see how gorgeous Changmin was.

Sooyoung lost for words when Changmin hugged her. His hug was warm. She could smell his perfume. Channel No. 4. The perfume she chose for him when they were still dating and surprisingly Changmin still used it.

That hug only lasted for seconds. But all the feelings because of that, made Sooyoung realized she still longed for him. Her heart still belonged to Shim Changmin.

“I’m really happy to see you again.” Changmin grinned.

“Me too.” Sooyoung replied softly.

Both of them then sat. Face to face.

“I’m sorry, I should take you to more appropriate place than this one. I promise I treat you in the best place in other time.” Changmin said while taking the cookie.

“It’s alright, I really love this place.”

Changmin chuckled. “Actually, I know you will, that’s why I chose this coffee shop, though I’m a bit ashamed I made you coming here. I should the one who picked you up.”

Sooyoung only smiled. She missed his voice and the way he talked. She was relief, Changmin felt comfortable. She was worried earlier they would be awkward, but Changmin made it nice.

The waitress came up again to take their orders. Changmin ordered for black coffee meanwhile Sooyoung for mocha latte.

 “You don’t want to order tiramisu?” Sooyoung asked with playfully tone.

Changmin laughed out loud. “Alright, please bring us tiramisu too.”

“Thanks for reminding about it, Soo.” Changmin said when the waitress left.

“You’re welcome, Changmin. Is tiramisu here good?”

“Yes but not as good as at La Pastry.” Changmin whispered then winked.

“I told this manager café then.”

“Go ahead I’m not afraid. I’m the manager of this hotel after all”

“Ah…look you are so full of yourself hmmm..”

“You are too. After walking on the stairway to heaven, you push your assistant into the hell you used to be.”

Soyoung laughed this time. “I do that to make them stronger.”

“But that’s mean, Manager Choi.”

“They will know someday that needs rain to see a rainbow.”

“Woooo…you are so wise. But really, I’m glad with what you are now. Well when you were still in hell, it made me and everyone worried about you.”

Sooyoung bit her bottom lip. A thought came to her mind, if she followed Changmin’s advice to find a new job, maybe they were still together now even married.

“You are taller now.” Changmin’s words made Sooyoung’s thought popped out.

“And getting prettier.” And Sooyoung blushed.

“You are looking the same with the last time I saw you.  Did you stop aging?” Sooyoung's turn to throw the compliment.

Once again, Changmin couldn’t control his laughter. “That’s the best compliment I got this year.”

Changmin just stop laughing when the waitress came back with their orders.

“Try the tiramisu, Sooyoung.”

Sooyoung took the spoon and eat it.

“Hmmm it’s good. But you’re right this is not as good as at La Pastry.”

“I told you. But still, when I’m craving for tiramisu during works I can order here.”

“I can read that in your forehead, Mr. Tiramisu. So are you still hunting food?” Sooyoung chuckled.

They were in their own world when they talked about food. Changmin proudly said he could make a book about best restaurants in Seoul. Meanwhile Sooyoung said, she started again as food hunter these past months after getting lot of free times.

A ring tone was heard from a cell phone in the middle of conversation. It turned out from Changmin’s.

Changmin sighed and looked at Sooyoung apologetically. “Give me two minutes to handle this call.”

Changmin stood and walked away from their table to pick up the call.

Sooyoung couldn’t stop smiling. Her eyes, her mind, her heart, were full of Changmin.  It’s even not more than one hour but Changmin was successfully stole her lonely heart again. Maybe all of this time  Changmin was still indeed the owner of her heart.

“Sorry.” Changmin sat again then took his glass and drank his black coffee.

The moment when Changmin drank, Sooyoung’s smile disappeared and her heart sank. Her eyes caught something that she failed to notice early. A gold ring was circling around Changmin’s ring finger.

“That was my CEO who just called. He said our clients from Japan will come in an hour and I have to pick them up in airport and….”

“Changmin, are you married?” Sooyoung cut his words, carefully.

Changmin stopped talking. She looked at Sooyoung’s eyes direction which was on his ring.

“Ah this…” Changmin scratched the back of his hair. He looked so shy all of sudden. “No, I’m not umm I mean not yet.”

“Are you….engaged?” Sooyoung asked again.

‘Please say no, Shim Changmin…’ Sooyoung prayed inside her heart.

“Yes!” Changmin chuckled coyly.

And with that all of Sooyoung’s hopes just now, flew away. It felt like Sooyoung was already holding the doorknob of heaven’s door, but she broke it because she's too excited when she tried to open it. Sooyoung also felt like a knife jabbed her heart seeing Changmin said it while smiling happily.

“Sorry, I should say it to you earlier.”

Sooyoung bit her bottom lip. “Who’s you fiancée?”

“You know her.”

Sooyoung felt more down when Changmin said she knew his bride-to-be. “Who?”

“Do you still remember Im Yoona? The girl from other class in our bacth?”

Yoona? Yes, Sooyoung knew her even though she didn’t close to her. “Ah..that pretty girl who’s dating our senior Choi Siwon?”

“Yes that’s her.”

“Oh.... I thought she would marry Choi Siwon.”

“That’s the exact same thing Yoona told me when we met. She thought we’re still together.  I met her here when she had a dinner with her clients. We started dating seven months ago.  I proposed to her last month and hopefully we’ll get married early next year. Well, we really don’t know our destiny right?”

Changmin’s words made Sooyoung’s head felt heavy. If only, she left her job to find a new one just like Changmin asked. If only, she called Changmin not last night but last year. If only she knew that Changmin was still the only one. If only Yuri didn't make her to flashback to all these memories. If only, Changmin was her destiny……

Changmin’s cell phone beeped again. After checking his message, he turned to Sooyoung again.

“Sooyoung, I really have to go. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Changmin.” Sooyoung forced herself to smile.

Changmin stood up followed by Sooyoung. They shook hands.

“I’m really really happy to meet you. We have to meet again. There are still many things that we haven’t talked just now, including who’s your man now.” Changmin laughed while ruffling her hair. “I’ll go now. Take care of yourself and call me if you have time. Oh I pay the bill, my treat.”

Changmin waved at her but Sooyoung didn’t even have energy to wave back.

Sooyoung sat again. She hurriedly wiped a tear away on her cheek.

‘”You are strong, Sooyoung. You really are!”

She took a deep breath. She closed her eyes a little bit longer to regain her composure. 

She opened her eyes and said to herself. ‘Don’t cry Choi Sooyoung. He may be still the owner of your heart, but you can't call him as your own. You were fine all of this time without him, so you’ll be fine for the next time. ’

She took her cell phone and start typing

 

To: Changmin, Shim

Chang, I forget to tell you this. I’m really happy for you. I really am. Don’t forget to send me your wedding invitation

 

She looked at the tiramisu on the table and talked to it.  “I hoped I’m his tiramisu, his favorite food to death. I am not, aren’t I? But he’ll be my tiramisu from this moment. Because he gave me a bittersweet taste just like you. It's alright, I know I'll be someone else's favorite food"

Sooyoung stood up. She pinched a piece of tiramisu with her fingers and ate it slightly, "Goodbye, Shim Changmin"

She walked out from that coffee shop and promised herself she wouldn't look behind anymore.