It starts with self-doubt.

As a normal girl living in the normal world, society’s expectations to you have always just been that—expectations. They weren’t rules to follow, nor a course you were forced to swallow against your will; expectations are simply suggestions on the way you should be living, with no punishment for choosing the path of why not. But, if there was a punishment for why you weren’t as beautiful as someone else, or as talented or as well-spoken as another, you found it often took the malevolent shape of your own inner voice asking you repeatedly in the middle of the night, or on the streets passing cafes and glamorous shoppers, of why don’t you look that way? Wouldn’t more people love you if you did? Wouldn’t life be easier?

And the answer, of course, had always been yes.

Maxim #1: Idols only date other idols.

As his friend, Woohyun had made it no secret to you that he appreciated many girl groups born out of Korea. Therefore, it had come as a complete shock to you the day he had confessed to you, his eyes full of the sincerity and love that you’d always hoped for but never really gave credit to for actually coming true in your lonely life. You weren’t a Korean idol, not even remotely close to the one of his dreams, but here your feelings for Woohyun were real and reciprocated and you hadn’t thought about anything beyond that. Without questioning it, you accepted that Woohyun’s love was for you, a girl who didn’t need to look or act like an idol in order to win over the love of one of the most handsome and intriguing men you’d ever met. Woohyun was here, Woohyun loved you for you as much as you loved him and that’s all that mattered to you. You were happy. He was happy.

Together.

But doubt does not come to you all at once like a raging waterfall. Self-doubt comes upon you over time, with your mind picking up the stray pieces of irregularity and shuffling them away as not important or as just another one of Woohyun’s quirks that doesn’t match up at the time, but isn’t prominent enough to make you question why. Doubt is not something that suddenly appears, but something that suddenly makes sense one day when you finally see the lock you’d been missing all along.

Woohyun kissed her.

And lingered for just a second too long.

It had been an accident, really—one of those paper kiss games you’d always thought was fun and one that variety shows used to their utmost advantage for ratings—when you saw the paper slip out from between Seorin’s lips and fall to the ground, leaving not enough time to pause before Woohyun swept in to press his lips up against hers. It had been an accident, a spur of the moment thing that left both of them laughing afterwards, but for the first time you’d seen it. You saw the way he looked at her, the pinkness of his cheeks belying the words he uttered out loud. I’m so sorry. My Inspirits don’t be jealous! And the way Seorin looked at him, her darkly-lashed eyes concealing nothing of her desirous feelings as she gazed upon Woohyun’s apologetic, bowing form. You watched as she let her eyes roam over his sharp features and his beaming white smile as he aimed it towards the camera, and to you, watching silently in front of a television screen thousands of miles away.

It had only been an accident.

When Woohyun came home to you that night he walked through the door full of apologies. Dropping his bag on the floor, he strode over to you without hesitation and cupped your face with his calloused hands, lowering his head to desperately capture your mouth with his.

“I’m so sorry, jagiya,” he whispered between kisses, “I wasn’t thinking. It didn’t mean anything.”

You wondered if your lips tasted as sweet as hers.

Maxim #2: Betrayal is a choice, never an accident.

Waiting backstage at Music Bank was nothing new to you and you looked on proudly in secret as Woohyun stood with his group members in the interview room, his brightness—and cheesiness—shining out from him like a starry beacon.

“What can we expect from this new album?” the older MC asked him. It was an actress you’d seen on a drama sometime somewhere, but for the life of you right now you couldn’t remember her name. But Woohyun did— memorized due to his idol training to know his sunbaes— and for that you were immensely grateful.

“Seohyun-ssi,” he answered respectfully, “In this album, we have challenged ourselves even more to show our extreme love for our fans. Even though we’ll never truly be able to match their hearts, I want to be the Oppa my Inspirits are proud of.” Stepping forward towards the camera, Woohyun winked and cheered, “Inspirit, I love you!” The idols around him chuckled—and in the case of the other girls standing beside INFINITE—giggled appreciatively.

A group of girls that also included Seorin-sshi. It was on her that your gaze stayed, even as the MC turned to INFINITE to ask yet another question that Woohyun answered. Instead of listening to your boyfriend’s response, you watched as Seorin smiled prettily and watched him instead, her wide eyes looking with adoration at her sunbae’s ease in front of the camera. Seorin’s group had debuted on the show tonight and it was natural, you thought, for the girls to be nervous for their public interview. And Woohyun was very handsome tonight, you admitted to yourself silently. Dressed in all whites and silvers Woohyun’s toned arms and shiny black hair were both displayed to absolute perfection, so much so that even you were having trouble keeping calm at the sight of him.

“What do you say, girls of EVE?” Seohyun spoke up suddenly. She turned to Seorin and lifted the microphone up to the girl’s lips. “Isn’t INFINITE handsome?”

Seorin hesitated for a second too long before the answer was snatched up by the leader next to her. “We have a lot to learn from our INFINITE sunbaes,” Jieun gushed prettily. “We hope they will take care of us well.” She bowed respectfully to the male idols beside her and they returned the gesture. Seohyun laughed approvingly at the exchange before turning back to face the camera in front of her.

“Well, we wish INFINITE and EVE the best of luck, don’t we?” she said happily. “That will do it for today’s Music Bank, everyone! Please stay tuned for tomorrow night’s episode!”

The idols clapped joyously behind her, shouting and cheering as the camera panned over to them, and you took that as your normal cue to retreat back into the waiting area to wait for Woohyun’s return. It didn’t take long – just enough time for you to wave hello to INFINITE’s manager and gratefully accept a drink from him—before your boyfriend entered the room, his face showing the incredible tiredness that he truly felt.

It was Hoya who tapped his bandmate on the shoulder to alert Woohyun to your presence before your boyfriend saw you, his face lighting up with a genuine happiness that made your heart pound furiously. You set your drink down just in time for Woohyun to come over and wrap his arms around you snugly. Feeling the muscles of his body under your cheek made you sigh softly in pleasure and you hoped, however unrealistically, that this moment would never end.

“You smell awful,” you murmured to him softly. Your arms wrapped around Woohyun’s neck and you pulled your greasy boy even closer against you, delighting in the way Woohyun’s breath warmed against your cheek as he laughed in response.

“I smell of love and pheromones, jagiya,” he corrected cheerfully. “All the better to seduce you with.” He gave you one last squeeze before stepping back away from you and you sighed, hating more than ever the public secrecy that kept you apart. Although the members of INFINITE knew of your advanced relationship with Woohyun, the fact remained that the public didn’t. And with that came sacrifices.

“Have you made any more conquests tonight?” you asked him with teasing grin. “I do believe Hoya was giving you quite the competition out there.”

“All lies,” Woohyun huffed. He lifted one of his fingers to trail lovingly across your cheek and you swallowed hard at the sensation. “You know you’re the only one I love.”

A small smile tugged at your lips even as Woohyun lowered his hand. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” you whispered. “I just want you to know that.”

A painful light shone in Woohyun’s eyes for only the briefest of moments before it disappeared. “Are you leaving now?” he asked quietly. Reluctance was clear in his tone and you couldn’t deny the pleasure the sound of it gave you.

“I’ll wait for you at home, okay?” you reassured him. Woohyun nodded and you reached out to gently touch him on the wrist. “Don’t wear yourself out being too gorgeous,” you warned him with a wink. “None of the girls will be able to take it.”

The doors to the waiting room opened and you heard the commotion as the other idol groups from today’s show started filtering in. Knowing your time here had come to an end, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed a soft, precious kiss against Woohyun’s heavily-powdered cheek. His eyelids fluttered closed and you cherished the way he sighed your name as you parted, his eyes lingering on you.

“I love you,” he whispered. It was said with a quiet sort of desperation that made you pause before you nodded in understanding. There was nothing further you could do with so many eyes watching and so you turned away wordlessly, heading out of the room as silently as you had initially come. Every step you took away from Woohyun hurt, but your two-year relationship with him had prepared you for this time and time again. Part of his world but not entirely in it, there was a line of idol-dom that was eternally denied to you, and not for the first time, you wished things could be different.

But then, you could also wait.

You met Myungsoo in the hallway outside and halted as the younger boy sent you a heart-melting smile. “Did you come to see hyung?” he asked happily. Coming off stage had allowed him to lose his cool “L” persona and he greeted you with all the warmth the real Myungsoo possessed.

“Who would want to see him?” you replied jokingly. As Myungsoo laughed, you reached out to brush several pieces of lint off of his shoulder. “You all did really well today in the performance.”

“Thank you,” Myungsoo said politely. Several crew members passed by and you both waved to them kindly. Myungsoo scooted closer to you and you tilted your head to hear him better. Shyly, the younger boy asked, “Was my singing okay?”

You smiled gently. No matter how long Myungsoo had been doing this, he always seemed to hold this tiny knot of insecurity you thought was unjustified. “You sounded amazing,” you reassured him with sincerity. “Your parts in this song really do suit your voice. And those moves!” You nudged him playfully. “You’ve been practicing with Hoya, haven’t you?”

Myungsoo tried to look cool but failed miserably when his cheeks turned a bright pink. “We’ve been practicing for ages and I thought… I thought I might try something new.” His voice had gone tiny with a cute embarrassment and you shook your head, amused.

“I don’t want to keep you any longer, Myungsoo,” you told him, “If I’m not mistaken, your hyungs are already in the waiting room.”

“Aren’t you coming inside, too?” Myungsoo asked, confused. He glanced towards the open door. “You’re just as part of INFINITE as we are.”

You laughed. “You’re too sweet, Myungsoo. But, I’ll only get in your way.” You gave him a not-so-subtle push towards the door. “Go on and make some new friends. Who knows, you might even find a new girlfriend!”

“No one’s as pretty as you,” Myungsoo insisted. His hand darted out to catch at your arm and he playfully pulled you forward with him. “Well, maybe Suzy,” he said, after a moment. “Suzy’s the prettiest.”

His cuteness was undeniable. “Thank you,” you said dryly. “That goes right to my heart.” His grip was insistent and you heaved a sigh. “You’re really not going to let go, are you?”

“Don’t leave me alone with them. I don’t feel safe.”

“Playing to the sister instincts, are you?”

Myungsoo beamed. “Is it working?”

He didn’t wait for your answer before gently guiding you back into the room you’d just escaped. The waiting area was now crammed full of idols, stylists, managers, and the Music Bank crews and you cringed at the thought of having to wade through so many pressing bodies. Bowing politely to people as you passed, you followed closely behind Myungsoo’s tall form before you’d found INFINITE, all but two who were waiting by the food table.

“____-ssi!” Hoya’s voice greeted you warmly, “I thought you already left!” The tall rapper came forward and took your hand, squeezing it gently. You offered Hoya a smile.

“I couldn’t abandon you if I tried,” you teased. Your eyes roamed among the little group and you asked curiously, “Where’s Sungjong?”

“Making the rounds,” Sunggyu piped in lazily. Sitting down in one of the plastic chairs the venue offered, he swirled his drink around in his hand. “He’s a favorite with the girls.”

“He’s the best at making connections,” Hoya added. You nodded. There was one other person missing and you slanted a glance back down to INFINITE’s leader.

“Where’s Woohyunnie?”

“You know he gets claustrophobic at events like these. My guess? He’s at one of the back rooms waiting it out.” He took a sip of the juice and blinked at you over the rim of the cup. “Are you going to look for him now?”

You shrugged. “I might as well since I’m here.”

“Good,” Sunggyu said, “can you take him this, please?” He placed the cup on the table beside him and picked up what looked to be a pamphlet of some sort. “It’s the program from today’s show,” Sunggyu explained after seeing your curious look, “He likes to keep them.”

Of course, you’d already known that. You nodded and took the pamphlet from the leader’s hands. “You’re really cute when you think about Woohyun like this,” you said teasingly, “Are you sure you don’t want to date him, instead?”

Sunggyu choked while Hoya, behind you, stifled a laugh. “I like a lot of things about you, ____,” the leader retorted, “but your choice in men is not one of them.”

“Arasseo, Gyu,” you said, waving him off with your hand. “Let me go find my handsome boy before you nag me about it again for another million years.”

“If you’d listened the first time, I wouldn’t have to keep repeating myself,” Sunggyu called after you as you walked away. “He’s a cheesy bastard who doesn’t deserve you!”

His words garnered the attention of a few of the people surrounding him and you chuckled quietly to yourself as Sunggyu sat back down hurriedly, a red blush tinging his pale cheeks. The competition between Sunggyu and Woohyun never ceased to amaze you and you shook your head as you made your way to the opposition end of the room where the dressing rooms were. Sunggyu hadn’t been lying when he’d mentioned Woohyun’s claustrophobia and you mentally scolded yourself for not having thought about it before. Guilt consumed you as you remembered the way he had wanted you to stay before. Had he been scared of having an attack?

Navigating your way through the dozens of bodies surrounding you, you finally made it to the other side and let out a breath of pure relief. The dressing rooms were all lined up in a row in this hall and you inhaled the freeing scent of air-conditioner as you made your way down it. The coolness filled your lungs as you headed towards the door marked ‘INFINITE’ and knocked lightly on it. When no response came, you frowned and tilted your head. Was he in a different room then?

You knocked on the door—harder this time—and paused as you heard a clatter on the other side of the frame. A quiet hush was given in a light feminine voice and you froze in place, your hand hovering just above the door frame.

Maxim #3: A wise girl kisses but doesn’t love, listens but doesn’t believe, and leaves before she is left.

Staring at the white-painted wood, you let yourself stand motionless for several seconds, willing yourself to not open that door. You were not going to dread what was on the other side even as you knew in your heart what you were going to find.

The seconds seemed to last for an eternity and mindlessly, you reached for the door handle. It twisted open in your hand and you pushed the door open quietly. The time you had waited would have made the couple inside think you were gone, and it was that knowledge—more than anything else—that fueled your denied determination.

“Woohyun-ah.”

Your voice was softly, barely heard, but it was enough. Your boyfriend, as attuned to you as he ever was, froze. His position over Seorin—pressing her up against the makeup counter, hands fisted in her brown curls, lips hovering over her parted ones— was unmistakable and as he looked up into the mirror to see your reflection, you saw the horror fill his eyes. Slowly, he released her and took a step back—much to Seorin’s confusion. It was obvious she hadn’t seen you yet and she reached out to place her hand on Woohyun’s exposed chest.

“Woohyun-ah, what’s wrong?” she whispered. It was the familiarity of her tone, so similar to yours— and full of the same intimacy no less—that made you take in a sharp, indrawn breath. The sound made Seorin look up quickly and her eyes widened as she saw you standing there. “Who are you?” she asked fearfully. “Are you with the press?”

The absurdity—and the lack of it—made you laugh bitterly. Because laughing was always better than crying, you gave into your morbid response, letting the giggles escape you without control. Your hand came up to clamp over your mouth desperately, and in seconds, Woohyun was there, his palms cupping your face helplessly.

“Jagiya… baby…” his voice faltered and you saw in his small eyes the pure fear that was taking over him quickly. But Woohyun was no fool and fell speechless when he saw the utter blankness in your expression. The coldness. You lowered your hand from your mouth.

“You should have gone somewhere else, Woohyun-ssi,” you bit out, every word being forced out of your mouth like rocks. “Anyone could have come across you here.”

“Do you know her, Woohyun?” Seorin called out. Too shocked to cover up her ed blouse, she came forward to look at you more closely. Her stare burned right through you and you turned your face away, suddenly now ridiculously aware of how this might look to her. Woohyun wasn’t even supposed to be in a relationship and yet you had entered this room with every right due to you. But she hadn’t known that. Only Woohyun knew and you saw his harried expression as he began to explain.

But you couldn’t let him.

“She’s my—“

“I’m his chingu,” you said intensely, biting your lip hard. “I’m part of his management team.”

It was a lie you had perfected for the last two years to protect your relationship and tears filled Woohyun’s eyes as he recognized it. But no matter how much it pulled at your heartstrings, you couldn’t bear to look at him just now, turning your face away to face the girl properly. “It’s best that you leave here quickly, Seorin-ssi,” you warned her, “before anyone from the press does come in and see you.” It pained you to save her this way, but knowing the consequences if you didn’t was worse. “I don’t think your boss would much like it if a scandal came out on the day of your debut stage.”

The truthfulness of your words hit Seorin hard and her eyes widened in pure shock. Her face paled as white as a ghost and without thinking, without even stopping to check herself, she rushed forward towards the door. “Woohyun-ah,” she said as she passed, “I’ll see you later, okay?” Her innocent words fell towards Woohyun and he shook his head, saying nothing. Seorin paused and you could see the hurt in her eyes. But now wasn’t the time and you watched as she left regretfully, back turned. As soon as she disappeared, you closed the door tightly.

Part of you should have expected it, but you still gasped as Woohyun’s arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders from behind. Burying his face in your neck, he didn’t let you go even as you protested, shoving away from his grip.

“Woohyun-ah! Let me go!”

“No, no, no,” Woohyun protested against your skin, “If I let you go, you’ll leave me. I can’t let you. I can’t.”

You couldn’t break his grip and let your fists batter against his arms helplessly. “How could you, Woohyun?” you whispered back, your heart in your throat. The tears were coming and it was all you could do to keep your mind in control. You wanted to scream and shout and push him away but all you could feel was sadness. Depression gripping you by its claws and pulling you down, down.

“How could you do this to me?”

“I love you,” was all he said. “I love you so much I could die.”

“Were you scared, Woohyun?” you pressed, “Were you unsure? What did you do?” Your voice escalated in volume and an anger unlike anything you’d ever known surged through you. “Let me go!” This time you launched yourself forward and Woohyun couldn’t stop you as you slipped from his grasp. The momentum hurtled you towards the makeup counter and you gasped as your legs slammed into the unyielding table. Pain shot right through you and you clutched at the counter surface weakly, closing your eyes tightly against the tidal wave rolling through you.

“ing hell!”

“Jagiya—“ Woohyun looked shocked as you slumped down into one of the plastic chairs, cradling your thigh where a large bruise was forming, “Are you—“

“You take one step towards me, Nam Woohyun,” you said darkly, wincing against the pain, “And I’ll kick you right in the face.” It was an impossible threat under the circumstances, but still Woohyun halted in his tracks. It was your anger more than your words that got through to him now and he checked himself, paling.

“I didn’t mean—“ he paused and you lifted an eyebrow questioningly.

“You didn’t mean what?”

Woohyun swallowed. The Adam’s apple that had tantalized you so often before now made a mockery of you, its light bobbing attempting to cover the lies that now slipped out of Woohyun’s lips. “She means nothing to me, _____” At your disbelieving expression, he came towards you, effortlessly forgetting the warning you had just given him only seconds ago.

“I suppose you’re going to say all this was an accident, too, right?” you asked bitterly. The pain had ebbed away from your leg and you looked down at the purple that was spreading across your skin like liquid ink. “She caught you unawares.”

“No,” Woohyun said softly. Regretfully. “It wasn’t an accident at all.”

The knife wound that was in your back now edged itself towards your heart, tearing a path through your bloodstream like a razor. Though you had asked the question, you realized that you didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to hear the confirmation of your worst nightmares. Still…

“How long?”

Woohyun exhaled slowly. “A few months,” he whispered. “Ever since the group started training at our new studios.”

“A few months.” You rolled the words around in your mouth and felt their stinging bitterness. The accidental paper-kiss had only been two weeks ago. “Have you slept with her yet?” you asked coldly. All the emotions you were feeling were seeping out of your chest through the knife wound that had left it all bare. Emotions that were turning into a coldness so blank it left you breathless.

“No,” Woohyun answered quietly. “I haven’t.”

Not yet.

“Do you want to?”

“_____-ah,” he begged. “Please.”

“Do you want to?”

Your tone was so broken, so cold, so furious that it whipped through the air like lightning. Woohyun dropped to his knees and crawled over to you, sliding his hands across your legs until he reached your waist. You hissed at the touch but Woohyun resisted your violent hands, wrapping his own arms around your waist and pressing his head against your chest. Like a child, he held onto you and you could do nothing but scream inwardly at the unfairness of it all.

“Woohyun. Let me go.”

“No.”

You shivered. Helplessly, you pressed your hand against his head, feeling the black silkiness of the hair underneath your fingertips. How often you had run your fingers through this beautiful mess, admiring the way its opaque color had shone brilliantly under the lights of a thousand performances stages. How often you had held onto this hair—in love, in pain, in ecstasy—only to watch it slip through your fingers now like water.

“It’s over between us, Woohyun,” you whispered to the man gripping you tightly. “You know that, don’t you?” Woohyun didn’t answer but still you could feel the trembling run through him as he rested against you. “You can finally be free to do whatever you want. And I… I can be free of you.”

Woohyun’s chuckle wasn’t a happy one. “I’ll never be free of you, _____-ah.”

The careless, loving words infuriated you like nothing else ever could. You lowered your hands and, with strength possessing you, took Woohyun’s handsome face roughly between your palms, holding him trapped like an animal. He stared blazingly up at you, his eyes determined and yet yielding to the power you showed him. With Woohyun it had always been this way—a constant battle for control over love—and now was no different as you locked eyes with him, staring him down with your displeasure.

“If you wanted to another girl, Woohyun,” you bit out angrily, “You could have said something a bit sooner, you know.”

“Why? So you can break up with me that much faster?”

“Yes.”

Your answer was short and to the point and Woohyun’s eyes narrowed. “Does our love mean nothing to you, then?” he demanded. “Not even enough to fight with me for?”

“What would I be fighting for, Woohyun?” you asked, tilting your head. Your fingers scraped along the curves of his cheekbones and, dimly, you marveled anew at the softness of his skin. “You’ve already told me that you’d been with Seorin for months.” You rubbed your nails along his skin and reveled in the way Woohyun winced at the uncomfortable pressure. “As far as I’m concerned, our love died a long time ago.”

“I’m still in love with you,” Woohyun murmured. His dark eyes held onto yours unwaveringly. “Not once have I ever stopped being in love with you.”

The tears you had been holding back all this time were now burning painfully in your eyes. “If you really loved me, Woohyun,” you whispered to him, “Then I don’t have to tell you that you never would have cheated on me.” You let your hands fall away from his face and pushed away gently, ignoring the way the pain your words caused flashed across Woohyun’s expression. Rising up from the chair was the only thing you could do to loosen his hold on you and you did so, standing up with as much dignity as you could muster.

“Go be with Seorin, Woohyun,” you told him gently. “At this point, she’s going to need you a lot more than I will.”

Woohyun remained on his knees and didn’t look at you as you stepped around him shakily. “What’s the point,” he muttered lowly, “She’s just a stupid girl.”

The animosity of his words surprised you and you glanced at Woohyun as he slowly rose up from his cramped position. “Then why were you with her?” you asked him curiously. “I would have thought she’d be perfect for you. Slender body, round s, long hair, legs a mile long… she’s exactly your ideal type, after all.”

Woohyun raised his eyebrows, staring at you in pure disbelief. “You’re my girlfriend, ____-ah, and yet you still say I have an ideal type?”

“Ex-girlfriend,” you corrected, “And girl idols have always been your type, Woohyun. Frankly, I’m surprised you haven’t pulled this kind of thing over me before.”

Woohyun drew in a sharp breath. “Have you always been so mistrusting of me, then? Always known I was going to betray you?”

There was an obvious hurt in his eyes that tugged at you, but you willed yourself to ignore it. Instead, you tapped your chin thoughtfully. “Maybe I have… in a way,” you answered. You gazed at him and let your mind take in every facet of Woohyun’s features. The line of his jaw. The shadows beneath his eyes. “That’s why you did it, wasn’t it? Because I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“No.”

“Because I wasn’t pretty enough?”

 “No!”

“Because then I wouldn’t blame you.”

“The answer is no!”

You flinched as Woohyun threw down one of the makeup brushes and turned to face you, his eyes blazing angrily. “You really want to know why I did this, ______-ah?” he demanded. He advanced forward and you took a step back instinctively. “You want to know where everything went wrong with us?”

Your back collided with the door frame and you winced as Woohyun came up against you, pressing his hands on either side of your head and trapping you in. But the aggression you feared faded as soon as Woohyun spoke the explanation you had dreaded to hear, his eyes shining with the pain of a broken soul who no longer knew what to do.

“It was because you stopped loving me, _____-ah,” Woohyun whispered. “I was losing you so fast… so quickly… and I didn’t know what else to do to get your attention. To make you wake up and see me.” His hands slid away from the door but his presence still hovered above you, easing the threat against you but not removing it entirely.

“Does Seorin know your elaborate scheme to ‘wake me up’?” you asked bitterly. “Or does she actually think what you have with her is real?” The guilt that flashed momentarily across Woohyun’s face was all the answer you needed. “You really are an , through and through.”

“Very few people know that but you,” Woohyun replied. His head dipped down to yours but you pushed him away firmly with your hand. “How can Seorin know anything about me, ____-ah?” he asked you. “How can you compare the few months with her to our years of love together?” His voice was needling, insistent, and you blew a breath in annoyance.

“All I’m hearing from you, Woohyun, is a ty justification of your infidelity,” you told him. “Given enough time, Seorin—or any other girl really—would see this part of you and know it. In actuality, I’m really nothing special.”

“You’re my girlfriend. You are everything special.”

“Your ex-girlfriend,” you repeated. “Our break-up still stands.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Don’t make me hurt you,” you warned him. Your hand slid down to the door handle behind you and you grasped it tightly. Woohyun saw what you were doing too late and wasn’t quick enough to stop you as you pushed the door open and stepped through it.

“Good luck with your new life, Nam Woohyun,” you said quietly. The bustling of the people filtering through the halls made you retreat into formality—a change Woohyun noticed with obvious displeasure. In private, you two could battle it out, throwing caution to the wind and saying what it was you really felt. But here in public was a different story and it worked now to your advantage. “I’m not going to miss you at all.”

It was an outrageous lie, but in your heart, you knew it was the best thing you could say. But that Woohyun believed your words as you said them so easily was somehow more painful than you imagined. He took a step back and you could see in his eyes the truth of his words. Had he really believed you had stopped loving him all this time?

It didn’t matter. Your mind brushed through the possibility and sent it away as soon as it had come. He had cheated on you and there was no going back to that, not now and not ever. And even as your heart was breaking with every step that you took, you reminded yourself there was no reward in forgiveness. No relief from finding out the entire truth.

Your name on Woohyun’s lips was the last thing you heard as you walked out of that hallway and the last sound you could remember as you laid awake at night for many months after, trying to figure out with every memory you possessed the point in which everything had gone so terribly wrong. And it was in December of that year that the news you’d been waiting for finally broke out across the internet, cementing what you’d always known in the back of your mind was going to happen.

INFINITE’s NAM WOOHYUN AND EVE’S LEE SEORIN GO PUBLIC WITH THEIR SECRET ROMANCE. AN IDOL MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?

But it wasn’t over yet. Because that same December, another surprise was waiting for you. And when you opened the door to your little apartment to see your ex-boyfriend standing there, telling you he was still in love with you, you didn’t know whether you wanted to laugh or cry first.

In the end, you settled for both.