“Where the hell is he?” I thought out loud as I wandered through the hallways of the building.

I made sure to glance into every room as I stumbled slowly through the hall, drink in hand. I was tipsy, but not drunk enough to be unaware of my surroundings. No, that I was definitely aware of. 

I had once again been dragged to the yearly Christmas party; how I managed to put myself in these situations I’d never know. My boss informed me this year, that as the assistant to the assistant stylist (seriously, what the ) I was obligated to attend.

“It’ll look bad for you and any future advancement opportunities if you don’t.” He had said to me, precisely two days before the actual event. So not only now did I have to go but I had to find an outfit last minute; something that was seemingly impossible in Seoul during Christmas time. But I had managed, not that mattered.

Had I had known that attending meant actually working then I probably would have faked a horrible illness. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my job. And I worked extremely hard on my own accord to get to this point in my life, even if it happened to be the lowest man on the totem pole in the fashion industry. But I was meant to be enjoying this party (or at least trying to).

As soon as I got there, dressed rather eloquently in a black and white floor length gown, I had been put to duty; I should’ve known. The stylist and her assistant were wasted beyond belief by the time I had arrived and were already on the dance floor mingling with the other guests. Lee Soo Man had managed to get all of his idols here on a Christmas Eve, I was impressed. This event was a big deal though, afterall. I could spot my co-workers shamelessly flirting while taking continuous sips from their rather large cocktails. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes.

“Mina, I need you,” I heard a voice call out to me as soon as I stepped inside the ballroom. I turned toward it and found it belonging to one of the company’s managers. I recognized him as one that belonged to our company’s current pride and joy; boy group EXO.

I had worked with them a few times over the course of their career and I enjoyed it. They were all fairly nice boys with excellent work ethics. This was something I appreciated. Definitely a group I could see myself working with more often in the future, especially if their popularity continued to rise at this rate.

“I was just about to go get a drink…” I said motioning toward the bar as if to prove my point.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Aren’t you too young to be drinking?”

“I’m 22.”

He waved his hand to silence me and then put another to his nose. “Look, the boys just got here and the other stylists aren’t exactly…” we both glanced over at the two head honchos who were both currently frantically waving their hands in the air to a song that was playing. “Capable,” he finished.

I sighed whilst quickly thinking about my future career and mentally scolding myself. “Okay.”

And so I ended up spending the beginning of the party with my hands occupied with straighteners and hairspray rather than alcohol (the way it should have been). It wasn’t even all bad; the boys were all polite as usual and extremely thankful. I could tell from a couple of faces that they were in the same boat as me; forced to attend. It somehow made the whole situation better to know that there was someone else suffering alongside me.

“Thanks for doing this, Mina,” Suho said as I put on the last bit of gel over his pushed up hair.

I smiled. “Of course, it’s my job.”

He stood up, checked himself once more over in the mirror and then started to walk out of the small room. “You look really pretty tonight, by the way!” he called as he left. I couldn’t help but blush. What a stud. No wonder these boys were so popular.

I turned around to start on the last person, dear Minseok, when he ended up colliding with me and causing me to fall backwards. I felt the cool liquid on my chest almost instantly.

“Oh my god!” I heard his voice state from above. I closed my eyes and sighed. Perfect. “Are you okay?” he asked.

I opened my eyes and looked down though I didn’t have to know that my dress was a goner; I could smell the sweet scent of wine. Though I wish it was running down my throat rather than down my legs, like it currently was.

“I’m so sorry,” he spoke again, emphasizing his words.

I looked up and just smiled. It wasn’t his fault; accidents happen. “Are they letting you drink tonight?” I asked in a playful tone as I tried to stand.

He reached out a hand to help me up as a blush formed on his cheeks. “I snuck a drink,” he replied. “Needed it.”

I nodded. “Wish you would’ve brought me one too.”

He laughed a little and then stopped when he looked down at me and frowned. “Your dress is ruined.”

I looked down myself and noticed how the red was now mixing in with the white causing an ugly shade making it look like I was bleeding. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at him. “Don’t worry about. I can find something else to wear.”

And that was how I found myself dressed in the worst possible outfit imaginable. My two fellow drunken co-workers had burst through the door after that and found the only clothes available at the time; a decent black skirt and the most hideous shirt I’ve ever seen. A tight white tee- with the words ‘What Happens at the Christmas Party, Stays at the Christmas Party!’ and a winking face drawn onto it. I suspected that these were given away in the party bags given at the front door but I chose to keep my mouth shut. Knowing SM, these were warning shirts rather to all of us lower people rather than silly holiday gifts.

Not only that, but tweedle dee and tweedle doo decided that since I looked ridiculous anyway, might as well finish the ensemble. And so I was equipped with a pair of antlers with ringing bells and a necklace of Christmas lights that lit up and flashed. As they were laughing hysterically the big boss decided to make an appearance as well. He chose to laugh (something I’d never seen him do) and then told me that “absolutely had to show everyone!”

So. It was safe to say that this was the worst party of my life. Though eventually I managed to finally find my way over to the bar; the highlight of my night. Until I was sent once again on a mission. A couple of the parties honorable guests had gone astray and we just couldn’t have that.

“Just do me this one favor, Mina,” the manager asked me again. I narrowed my eyes at him this time. He let out an exasperated sigh and I followed suit.

“Fine!”

I managed to round up all the boys and push them back into the main ballroom, despite a couple of complaints. But I still had one who was hidden away somewhere.

“Kyungsoo,” I called out in an angry whisper and I looked through more dark rooms. I had wondered so far into the building that I didn’t even know where I was anymore. I peeked into the last room down at the end of the dark hallway. Opening the door slowly, I looked inside. It was a small room filled with boxes, a storage room. “Kyungsoo…” I tried again.

He didn’t reply but as I opened the door further and let the light spill in I saw him seated on the dusty floor with his hands over his knees. He looked up at me with a blank expression on his face.

“What’re you doing?” I asked.

He simply shrugged. “Just wanted to get away.” He made no intent to move.

I sighed and then moved closer into the room and let the door shut behind me. The darkness and silence swelled around us. I quickly downed the rest of my drink before setting the empty glass on one of the boxes and then sat down beside him and leaned back. He didn’t say anything but I could tell that he was watching my every move, his vision probably accustomed to the dark room.

“You know,” I started. “Everyone is looking for you.”

I felt his shoulders slump beside me. “So?” he asked.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at him. I could make out his face now from the tiny bit of light that came from the bottom of the door. He looked so solemn but I knew better; this was a neutral facial expression for him. Out of the twelve members, I had always found him the hardest to read.

“So,” I said. “You should probably get back out there.”

“No thank you,” he muttered.

I groaned out loud, probably surprising him. “You know, just about everyone out there came to see you. Do you know that? Not only that but come on Kyungsoo. You’re a grown man and there’s a whole ballroom filled with drunken women out there who are just dying to at least make out with you tonight.” I couldn’t help but be brutally honest with him. Especially now that I was reaching the point of my drunken high; I had always tended to be an honest drunk. And extremely hormonal.

I could see him frown as he lowered his head. “Stop.”

I playfully hit his shoulder with my own. “Don’t worry. You know, what happens here stays here,” I told him whilst pointing at my shirt. “The proof is here.” He didn’t laugh. Instead he looked over at me with an intense gaze. I wanted to cower under him. “What?” I asked after a couple of seconds.

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “That’s the whole point.”

“What is?”  I asked again.

“What you said. Everyone out there is expecting so much from me. I was out there for ten minutes and I had five different girls come up to me.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh my god, are you seriously complaining right now about getting hit on?”

“Why is that a bad thing?” he asked with narrowed eyes. I could tell he was growing annoyed.

“Pft, try living a normal life and having to work hard just to get a guy to look in your direction,”  I told him.

“Why? You’re pretty,” he said honestly.

I smiled. “Well thanks. But it doesn’t really do anything for me.”

He sighed. “Well neither does the fact that I’ve never so much as even held a girl’s hand before.”

I snapped my head toward him. “What?”

I could his shoulders slump as he lowered his head again. “Well, I-I mean.  I once-“

He stopped speaking as I rolled my eyes and reached across his lap and took his hand into my own smaller one. They were warm and soft. I pulled our now intertwined hands into my lap as I used my other to wrap around his arm and lean into him. He smelled so nice; like mint and cologne.

“What are you doing?” he asked in a whisper, but didn’t make a move to disconnect us.

“You seem stressed,” I told him as I began to graze my free palm over his bicep. He shivered and I could feel the goose bumps starting to form. I smiled tenderly.  “You overthink things way too much. Something like holding hands is not as big a deal as you make it out to be.”

I felt him slowly start to relax beside me as we drifted into a comfortable silence.

“You think I’m a loser, don’t you?” he asked in a hushed tone after a while. I had to strain to hear him.

I shook my head. “Of course not,” I told him. I could feel his hand moving in my own now but I knew he wasn’t trying to pull away. When I felt his thumb graze over the top of my hand my heartbeat quickened.

“I think the longer you wait to do something, the worse it becomes,” he said.

I laughed quietly. “Kissing is not horrible.”

“Says you,” he muttered.

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, I’ll agree with you there. First kisses are horrible. But once you get that out of the way, it’s smooth sailing.” I felt a small rumble in his chest as he laughed. I felt my mind going cloudy as he continued to trace patterns over my hand with his own. Surely, it was the alcohol; or at least that’s what I told myself. Alcohol makes you brave, they say. “I could-I could show you.”

“What?” I heard his voice squeak out. All his movements stopped instantly and I felt his stiffen again.

I pulled away from and sat forward in order to turn myself around. I caught his eyes and watched as he gulped whilst staring at my every movements. His hands fell limply to his sides.

Bravery.

I made a move as a I pushed his legs down flat and climbed into his lap; not as awkward as I was expecting it to be. I gave myself internal points on smooth success. I watched him gulp again as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “What’re you doing, Mina?”

I let my eyelids flutter as I listened to the way my name rolled of his tongue. I could definitely feel the effects of the alcohol clouding my better judgment now. But, screw judgment.

“Shh,” I told him as I took off the awful reindeer headband and the clip from the back of my head; letting my hair fall freely down my back. “Kisses are supposed to simple, Kyungsoo. See, it’s already bad that we’re talking about it. It’s making it awkward.”

I took his stiff hands and put them on my waist. He shifted uncomfortable underneath me. I wanted to sigh out loud at his awkward behavior but instead I chose to reach one of my hands up and trace it along his jawline.  His eyes were locked on my own, his instance gaze was back.

I had always found him attractive, that’s no lie. I mean, all the boys were attractive. They were idols afterall. But the mysterious persona that followed the young singer around was something that had drawn me to him instantly. And hearing his embarrassing, albeit adorable, confession tonight in the storage room only made my heart flutter around him even more. I couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around the fact that someone who was so good looking and so so famous had never once kissed a girl before.

I watched as he his lips as my fingers continued to lightly trace the contours of his face. I leaned in closer to him as my breathing started to get slightly heavy. The effect that this was having on my hormones was not normal.

“Don’t let this go too far, okay?” I asked him in a hushed whisper. “I’m drunk and heated up and I’ve been alone and-“

I didn’t get to finish as he closed the gap between us and put his mouth on my own. I moaned instantly into his mouth as he lips overtook mine. They were exactly how I had imagined, extremely soft. He was warm and tasted like chocolate. It was unimaginably good. It was a simple and sweet kiss, something expected for the first time. He didn’t try and take it further and I didn’t either (although I really really wanted to).  

I pulled away from him slowly and let my eyes flutter open only to be met with his soft expression; something I hadn’t seen from him yet. But I knew that I wanted more. And from way his eyes were opened halfway as he smiled softly, I knew he did too.

“You know,” I said putting my arms around his neck as I leaned into his warmth again. “Forget the party.”