“I’m sorry if I can’t make it to our date, I’m just busy today.” These are the same lines he uses when he lies to me,

Lies, why do you even exist?

“It’s fine, I’m going to hang out with Minji anyway,” These lines are used for him to believe.

“Are you sure you’re not angry at me for ditching our date?”

“No,” I waved him off. “Go before it gets dark. See you tomorrow.”

“Alright,” He then walks off without saying anything,

No goodbyes, no hugs and no kisses. What kind of boyfriend is that? I closed my eyes, breaths for a moment before turning around and walk towards where my best friend is staying.

When she saw me heading her way, she frowns. “You’re being ditched, again?!”

“He’s busy, Minji, you can’t blame him.”

“He’s busy flirting with other girls! Gosh, Gauen, why are you still with this man?!”

“I don’t know, I love him.”

She rubs her temples and pulls me into a tight hug. “I feel really bad for you right now.”

“Don’t be, let’s just hung out.”

“Sure, what do you want to do?”

“Movie?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Her smile widens and pulls me towards the nearest mall from our university. We decided to watch an action movie and bought a bucket of popcorn to satisfy our hunger.

We’re actually weird.

Do you want to know why?

Because we’re the only ones laughing when someone dies.

Weird and Crazy, right?

The movie finished afterwards and we decided to eat our dinner. While we were talking though, I noticed Minji’s sister, Bora waiting by the escalator. I raised an eyebrow and pointed her, telling my best friend that she’s here.

“She’s meeting up with someone.” Minji shrugs as she resumes eating her food.

I nodded my head and resumed eating too, but I stopped when I saw my boyfriend hugging her, my eyes widen and looked away, was this the reason why he ditched me again? I thought it was over, I thought he changed.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Who is Bora meeting up with?”

“She says her boyfriend.”

“Oh,” I nodded my head and balled my fist.

“Why?”

“Look who’s her boyfriend.” I said and didn’t look at the couple who was holding hands and smiling.

“The nerve! I thought he changed!” She screamed, making the other table look at us confusingly.

I rolled my eyes and pulled her away. “He said he did.”

“He doesn’t know she’s my sister, right?”

“Yeah, I kinda left that out.”

“Why?”

“I forgot?” It came out as a question rather than an answer. “Anyway, let’s just go.”

“No.”

“What?”

“Let’s spy on them.”

“Are you insane?! Spying on your own sister?”

“You’re supposed to ask that question to yourself, Gauen, Why won’t you spy on your boyfriend?”

“That’s something I won’t ever do to him, that’s his life.”

“And you’re the girlfriend, okay?” She turns around and smiled. “Good, they’re still there.”

“What would we gain with this spying?”

“To make you realize that it’s time to decide whether to keep it or break it.”

“Even if we don’t do this, you’ll know my answer.”

She rolled my eyes and pulled me to follow Bora and Luhan. We saw how happy Bora is with him, they held hands, he kisses her cheeks and made her smile, something he did for the first 3 months of our relationship.

I admit, it hurt.

We ended up spending again just to follow them inside, in there we saw how close they are, how Luhan would whisper something in her ear and make her laugh again. I felt Minji’s eyes on me but I just shook it off and continued to watch the movie. When it was done, the couple decided to go home, he escorted her and we followed.

“I had fun,” We heard Bora say as she smiles at him.

“I had fun too,” He smiles. “Why don’t we do it again sometime?”

“Sure! When are you free?”

“I’m free when you’re free.”

She laughs and was about to go in when Luhan stopped her and pulled her back again. They looked into each other’s eyes and in just few seconds, their lips touched and holding into each other like there’s no tomorrow, I fell on my knees and tears fell out right on cue. Minji rubbed my back and told me soothing words but that didn’t help me at all.

“I guess you’re right, I need to decide,”

“And?”

“I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?”

I nodded my head. “I’m going to America.”

“What?”

“I never told you that my aunt is inviting me to stay with them for a while, I haven’t decided yet, maybe because I have no reason to. But now that I have, I will. It’s only one text away from my aunt and my flight is booked.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m stupid.” I started, “I’m stupid to think that I could stay and be with him.”

“If I could then I would stop you but you need the time to cool off and take your mind away from him.”

I smiled and hugged her.

I stood up, wiped the tears and waved goodbye. I walked towards my house to see my mom waiting for me at the living room. I kissed her on the cheeks and told her what I have decided. She just nodded her head and told me that she’s going to call her sister now and make the arrangements.

The next morning came and I wasn’t sure if I could face him after last night. I knew I had to act for now and tell him what I have decided but am I really tough enough to do it? I love him but I’m also hurting.

“Hey,” He greeted, smiling at me.

I forced a smile back and closed the front door and walked with him towards school. They way to school was an uncomfortable one, neither one of talking or asking how we’ve been. We were in front of the school a few minutes later and I knew I had to tell him now before I could pass my chance.

“Can we talk after school?” I asked, staring at him.

“Sure,” He nods his head and walks away.

Again, no goodbyes, no hugs and kisses.

Damn.

I took one last breath before going inside the campus. When I already reached the classroom, I immediately spotted Minji waiting patiently for me. I sat beside her and smiled.

“When?” She asks, I got confused. “When are you breaking up with him?”

“After school,”

“And when’s your flight?”

“Tomorrow night,”

“You’re mother is allowing you to ditch school?”

“Yeah, but I should keep my grades still the same even if I’m away.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll have me.”

“Thanks,”

We didn’t talk after that mainly because the teacher arrived.

The whole day passed very fast, it was already the end of the day and it’s also the time when I would talk to Luhan about our relationship. I saw him standing patiently outside the campus gates, waiting for me.

“Hey,” I greeted smiling at him.

“Hey, what do you want to talk about?”

“You’re not busy today?”

“Nope, why?”

“Nothing,” I answered and walked off, letting him follow me.

I led him towards the place he confessed to me, I decided to end it on the same place where it all started, the place I knew he already forgot.

“What are we talking about?” I heard him ask.

“Do you still remember this place?” I asked, turning to face him.

“Of course I do.” He answered. “It’s a park.”

I smiled, knowing completely well that he already forgot about him confessing his love for me in this place, cliché but romantic. I walked not too far from him and breathed.

“Do you love me?” I asked.

“You know I do.”

“Then please tell me why I am hurting.” I whispered, wishing he didn’t hear me.

“What?” He asked.

I smiled and turned to look at him. “There is only one thing I want to tell you, Luhan.”

“What is it?”

“Let’s break up. Ne?”

He didn’t respond at first, maybe letting my words sink in but when it did, he looked shocked and confused.

“What?”

“Let’s break up, alright? I can’t keep pretending its fine every time you ditch me and our dates, I can’t keep pretending that I’m fine when in all honesty, I am not.”

“But I asked if its okay and you always say yes.”

“I know and that’s my mistake,” I laughed. “And being with you is a mistake.”

“You’re joking right? You love me, right?”

I shook and nod my head. “No and yes, I’m not joking when I told you I want to break up and what you asked is true, I’m still in love with you.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Can’t you see I’m doing this for us? I won’t have to worry about you cheating on me and you can be bachelor again.”

“But what if I don’t want to be a bachelor? I don’t want to lose you, Gauen.”

“You already lost me when you decided to be the old you.” I tapped his shoulder. “How many times?”

He didn’t answer.

“See? I love you, Luhan but do you think if we keep this relationship up we’ll get somewhere?” I hugged him tightly. “I’m giving you your freedom.”

“I…I love you too, Gauen. Please don’t leave me.”

I shook my head and walked away.

 

The next morning came and I was ready to leave Korea, leave him. Minji’s right, I need to take my mind away from him, from this so called “relationship” we have. I packed my bags, left to say goodbye to Minji and went to the airport with my mother. When I was about to enter the waiting area, I stopped and looked back, I took one last long breath and waved goodbye to my mother.

“It’s time to move on.” I said to myself.

 

End.