Spring

She wrapped her long fingers on the warm cup of coffee. The winter had been long gone but the chilling effect of the winter breeze seems to still hang in the air. The orange glow of the setting sun made her relax more. Sunsets are always her remedy after a stressful day.

He called her today for a talk and it made her gladder.

 

They had been friends for a long time. Long enough for her to feel something more than friendship for him, but she kept it at bay. She doesn’t want to ruin what they already share for one single confession.

Just in time, the door of her office opens revealing a very familiar tall guy who looks so dashing which made her heart skip a beat.

“Why call so sudden?” she smiled at him as he walks and placed an envelope on her table. He did not answer her query but walked to stand by the window overlooking the city. He left his coat on the chair opposite her.

“What’s this?” she asked again as she reached for it.

“Read it,” he replied without even looking at her.

 

A smile crept up to her face when she read the contents of the letter.

“This is the third time you had been fired from your job Kris,” she turned her swivel chair to look at the tall guy.

He took a deep breath before looking at her, “It’s not funny Soo, you’re not totally helping,” he frowned.

She stood up and stopped beside him, “What do you want me to do? Cry my heart out just because my handsome bestfriend lost his job?” she smiled.

He let out a frustrated sigh.

“Chill! Don’t worry; I’ll help you look for another job again. What are friends are for by the way right?”

 

That very statement lit up his face as he reaches to give his bestfriend a tight hug.

“I would never know what to do without you,” he whispered making her heart skip a beat again.

“You’re my bestfriend and I don’t want you getting through everything alone,” she replied although it pierced her heart to tell him those words.

 

Just as he was holding her like that, his phone rings totally disturbing the momentum.

She parted, allowing him to answer it.

“Excuse me,” he smiled again before going on a corner to answer the call.

She walked back to her chair and picked up her cup of coffee.

“You want to see me now?”

She heard him reply.

“Sure, I’ll be there. Give me ten minutes,” he replied again making her bow down her head.

 

She watched him grab his coat, “Meeting her again? You surely love her,” she flashed a fake smile that he failed to notice.

“Yeah, gotta go,” he moved around the chair to give her a kiss on the cheek before totally leaving her office.

The moment he turned his back, he did not notice the sad smile and the spilled tear staining her beautiful face.

 

Summer

The warm rays of the setting sun made her smile as she waters the lone flower pot on her window.

Its weekends so she decided to just stay at her apartment. Her sister had dropped by earlier but left sooner after leaving a notice that she needs to be home tomorrow because her Mom is missing her daughter.

 

Maybe she could ask Kris to accompany her later for night shopping. Knowing him, he probably would not give in easily. The memory of their first shopping together made her smile.

 

He was so frustrated from agreeing since she made her bring all her shopping bags. But the simple gesture of buying him a bubble tea made him forget all his frustrations about bringing the bags. As a token of gratitude, just as how he puts it, he made her buy the  black trench coat he had been eyeing for a while when they started shopping. She did not abide to his wish at first, but knowing her, a simple pout and a little ‘bbuing bbuing’ from him made her give in to his will.

So much for remembering those times.

 

As she tries to recall some more of their moments together, her phone made her stop her recollection. Upon reading the name flashed on the caller ID, a smile crept up on her face.

“Kris?’ she answered the call.

“Sooyoung,” he replied.

Something is up. He would only call her by her first name if something is up.

“Is there any problem?” worry laced her words.

“She’s gone, she finally left us.”

That was all she needs to hear before she rushed to grab her car keys and purse and left her apartment.

 

His sister had been fighting with one of the incurable disease. Together with his family, she stood beside him to help them cope up everything. He had been untiring looking for jobs whenever he gets fired just to let his sister continue her therapy. All those sessions, she had been with her to give her support on his sister which had been a sister for her too. It was sudden to hear it since her doctor had been telling them that she had been coping with the treatment and might survive. Or were all of those lies just to comfort his family?

 

She arrived just in time to see the nurses and the doctor get her out her room.  Kris stood by the door, seems to be rooted in his place. His mother had been crying as his father follows closely behind, supporting his wife.

 

Tears made its way on her eyes when she saw him. He seems to be at loss for words from the current situation. When they had finally a corner, she slowly made her way to get near him.

“Didn’t they just say that she will make it?” he faintly whispered which shattered her heart. That very whisper maybe so inaudible but it is full of suppressed emotions.

 

He lost his sister in a flash after months of struggle with the disease. But what surprised her is that he never shed a tear.

“Have you run out of tears?” she asked as she sits beside him on their wake.

“They may say I am cold for not shedding any tear but that intense pain had left my eyes dry. It feels like crying will not just suffice,” he replied.

She reached for his hand and held it tight.

 

She was surprised not to see his girlfriend which should be the very first person who must be in here.

“Where is your girlfriend?” she asked not anymore able to suppress the curiosity.

“She doesn’t know that I have a sister,” he replied, leaning on her shoulder closing his eyes.

She wants to ask more but she let it slip just for his sake.

 

Autumn

The crunch of the dried leaves on her every step makes a very satisfying sound as she walks on her way home. The orange leaves and the reflection of the orange rays from the setting sun on the river made the scenery more relaxing.

Once or twice, a couple would pass by her.

She felt jealous of them. She wonders when he will recognize her as a woman, not just as a friend to rely on.

Sometimes she wants to just run up to him and confess her heart out and kiss him but she would always fail at her attempts. The word ‘bestfriend’ makes her stop from dreaming that she will be his lady for the rest of his journey in this world.

 

When she got nearer her place, she noticed a figure sitting on her porch. When she finally made her way inside her small front yard, a smile crept up on her lips.

 

On the porch sits the very man she had been thinking about a while ago. He is leaning by the wall, his eyes closed. She slowly walked and sits beside him.

“Kris?” she nudged him lightly.

Without even opening his eyes, “Can I stay for the night?” he asked.

“Why? Have they decided to finally kick you out of your house because you lost your fifth job again?” she tried to humor him.

It did not fail as a smile made its way on his lips, “Yeah,” he opened his eyes before leaning on her shoulder instead.

“Seriously, what’s the problem?” she asked, leaning over him too.

“Mom and Dad decided to go back to China. My Mom had a hard time recovering from my sister’s demise. She had been sick for a while and the doctor advised about the change in nature, so they decided to leave me on my own,” he narrated.

“You’re staying for the night only?” she asked again looking at him.

“Would you want me to stay forever?” he looked up at her.

 

That very close distance made her heart beat twice as normal. She felt her cheeks heat up.

“You’re getting older Soo. Go and get a boyfriend for real,” he smiled before he stood up to get her spare key on the pot closest to the door.

 

He noticed that blush but dismissed it as nothing and went inside to make himself feel at home.

He had memorized her small apartment since it had been his sanctuary whenever he feels like breaking down.

She had been her company throughout his journey from God knows when. He had been attached to her for long that it made him wonder how come she never had a boyfriend.

Sooyoung is beautiful; he knows that and probably everyone. Bubbly personality, lovely face, blessed height and perfect figure to match it. She may be the ‘food goddess’ but that’s her charm.

Is she rejecting her suitors or do those guys get intimidated by his presence?

 

 

 

Winter

The small white snow soon filled the road creating that dramatic and romantic effect. The setting sun barely had the warmth to keep her warm so she wraps up her coat closer to her.

Kris had called and it looks urgent so she left her meeting earlier.

There might be something up since he is crying when he called her.

 

She took a cab to get to his place.

When she got there, the door was slightly open. She slowly walked inside surveying the whole place. The chairs were still in one piece, the vases were all intact and the very atmosphere of the place looks like there’s no problem at all.

She took a deep breath and walked up the large staircase to get to his room. She had been to this house countless times and often spends the night in here that made her memorize where his room is.

When she got near the door, it was ajar and faint sobs can be heard inside.

She pushed the door and gasped when she saw the room in havoc as everything seems be in disarray.

Kris is on a corner, had his hands on his face while sobbing.

 

“What’s wrong?”She asked getting near him immediately.

“Sooyoung, am I that useless to be a man?”

“Why do you ask?”

“She left me for another man. She broke up with me,” he sobbed.

She looked at him not feeling sad for her friends lose. Something inside her snapped.

“And you called me just to tell that?” she was not able to control her anger.

 

He looked at her, surprised by her response.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked as if he doesn’t know her already.

“Do you know that I left one of my most important meetings to come here because you called me and you would just tell me that she broke up with you? Just how stupid can you get?” she stood up looking down at him. Those made him stand up too.

“Just what did you just told me?” he looked at her, his self control b already.

“You’re stupid and I will not get tired repeating that very same phrase till you wake up. My God Kris! All this time I thought she is the perfect one so she can finally have her place beside you but I was so wrong! What a waste!”

He glared at her, “Don’t you dare accuse her of being neglectful.”

“I am not accusing her. Let me ask you something so you might get enlightened. Where was she when you lost your sister? Where was she when your parents left you? Does she even know that you lost your job for almost seventh time already? Was she there when you struggle to get back up? Was she eve there when you need company? For goodness sake Kris, look for someone who can be with you all the time not someone who would only need you when they feel like it! Open your eyes to reality!”

He suddenly slapped her across the face.

 

It was sudden, almost reflex action that he soon regretted it afterwards.  She turned her face to look at him with tears in her eyes. “I guess I am nothing after all,” she smirked as the tears rolled down her face again.

“I-I’m sorry… I did not mean that to happen,” he tried to reach her but she took a step back before she finally left through the open door.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

 

“Have you realized your mistake already?” Tao asked as he looks at Kris who had been staring at his drink for a while.

“I don’t get it,” he sighed crumpling his hair in frustration.

“You’re too wrapped up with your own loss that you forgot to see beyond what you have. She’s been with you through all those times, whether you are down or not. Yet, you took her presence for granted. You didn’t even realize that one day, she might get tired. She’s actually all that you have in here, not those who have left you,” Tao replied taking another shot.

 

His mind went working its gears after hearing those words. Tao is right; he had been wrapped up on his own world that she forgot that other people exist outside his. All those time he had been blind on everything, especially about her.

 

A sudden desire to see her started to crawl all over him. It’s like someone opened the door he was scared to push open.

All those time it was actually her who’s his heart needs and long for. He had just been too blind from his messed up world.

 

He suddenly craves to see her face.

 

He suddenly craves to hold her hand.

 

He suddenly craves to hug her and just hold her near.

 

He suddenly craves to experience the same feeling of being with her.

 

He suddenly craves for her very presence.

 

The desire is too intense that he broke into tears. It took him this far to realize just who that perfect one for him is.  

But what did he do?

 

He took her for granted.

 

He neglected her.

 

He turned a blind eye on her thinking that she would not get tired of him.

 

He simply didn’t value her very own presence.

 

He even had the nerve to hurt her when all she had given him was care and love.

 

He went home after that night with emotions and revelations swirling around his head almost making him insane.

Now he knows what it feels to be left with no one to turn to.

He was used on having her near when he need company, but that very person who understands him above everything left him because he neglected her; he took her for granted and hurt her.

He had been redundant with his thoughts but that’s the price he needs to pay.

That is his karma.

For a while, the cold winter turned unbearable.

 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

 

The snow by road started to melt.

The sun finally made its way to bring a new day.

He stood in front of her apartment, battling over his conscience whether to get inside and apologize or just run away.

He paced back and forth trying to build up enough courage to decide.

 

“Kris?”

That very voice he had been dying to hear called his name. He turned around to see her standing by her doorstep.

Longing starts to grip his heart as she slowly made her way to him.

 

“What are you doing here?” she softly asked standing behind the low gate.

He slowly reached up to touch her face but pulled his hand because of fear.

Tears rolled down his eyes from the intense desire to hold her that he had been suppressing.

 

He was shocked when she smiled and wiped his tears.

“You’re ugly when you cry, do you know that?” she smiled.

It made both of them chuckle.

 He opened the gate as she initiated the hug he had been trying to do but was held back by fear.

 

He felt the love, trust and care from the way she hold her making him closing his eyes from gratitude that she exist in his world.

He held her tighter as if there’s no more tomorrow.

He slowly parted and cupped her face “I had finally realized my mistake and my loss and something more,” he whispered.

“Enlighten me,” she smiled holding his hand.

“That is I actually love you Choi Sooyoung,” he let his forehead rest on hers.

“And I love you too Kris Wu.”

 

He slowly bent down and kissed her softly.

 

Maybe now, he can start again for real.

 

It took four unique seasons wonderfully crafted by God for him to realize who the real one for him is.