Hurricane Diarrhea #38

It was a sickening feeling. The way it seeped through the gates and out into the next frontier. It was bad news. Terrible news. Terribad.

.

She moved gingerly, trying to get up from the bed without waking Tiffany, and thanked the heavens for having at least a little mercy on her when Tiffany barely stirred. She padded across the floor to the bathroom and locked herself in. What was she to do? What to do? What?

The first thing was to get rid of the evidence. She took her shorts and off, cringing in disgust at the less than pleasant sight. With no time to waste, she sat on the toilet bowl and with a sigh of relief, released it all at once. She flushed it as soon as she was done and looked down at her . They couldn’t be worn anymore. No way. They had to be thrown away. It was a good thing they weren’t her favourite Spongebob though. She would cry if that was the case.

The bigger problem, however, was how she could dispose of her without Tiffany finding out about it. Gawd. She had problem after problem to solve. Why couldn’t the keep away from her? What was it with her and .

She cleaned her and put her shorts back on. Then, she wrapped her in toilet paper and got up. She had to to find a plastic bag to put her in before throwing them away. Perhaps she could find one in the kitchen. Just as she was about to open the door, however, Tiffany called her.

“Taeyeon, are you alright in there?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Are you ting?”

Taeyeon flushed a deep crimson red. “Not anymore.”

“Okay, I need the toilet. Can you hurry up?”

“Okay.”

Taeyeon panicked and looked at the wrapped up in her hand. How was she going to smuggle that out of the bathroom without Tiffany noticing? Or she could hide it somewhere in the bathroom and come back for it later. But one look around the bathroom made it stark clear that she couldn’t. Tiffany, being the organized housekeeper, kept her bathroom in zen mode, and made sure everything was in order. There weren’t any hiding places for her . She was in deep .

“Taeyeon? Please hurry up.”

“O-Okay!”

Taeyeon was on the verge of losing her mind. Her eyes darted up, down, left, right and in a moment of startling clarity, she saw the solution to her problems. She could flush it! Yes! Without a second thought, she chucked it into the toilet bowl and flushed. It disappeared with the water and she heaved a sigh of relief. Now, she could leave the bathroom with no fears.

-

Tiffany took the longest time in the bathroom and Taeyeon wondered why. She also wondered how she ended up at Tiffany’s as she sat on the couch but it was a little less of a mystery than Tiffany’s long bathroom stay. What in the world was Tiffany doing in the bathroom for so long?

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany called from the bathroom suddenly.

“I’m here,” Taeyeon yelled, getting off the couch and heading to Tiffany.

“I need you to get my plumbing tools from the cupboard.”

“What do you need it for?”

“The toilet is stuck.”

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no nooo…

“It’s s-stuck? H-Have you tried flushing it again?”

Tiffany looked at her as though she were the strangest creature she’d ever seen. “Of course I did. I tried three times. The toilet is definitely stuck. Something must be clogging it up.”

Oh no. Oh no no no no no no nooo…

A sickening feeling was creeping up on her and taking hold of her intestines, gripping them, twisting them.

“Taeyeon? I need my tools.”

“Oh. Okay.” Taeyeon turned around and headed towards the cupboard with dread filling her insides. It was as though a volcano had erupted within her and was spitting lava into every corner of her body. She burned from the dread, and there was nothing she wanted more than to run away from Tiffany and all the she was in.

But she couldn’t. If there was one thing she believed in doing, it was facing up to reality and its problems. Look fear in the eye and fear is nothing. Yeah. She was the queen that way. So, with her head held higher than usual, she found Tiffany’s bag of tools and brought it to her.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks, honey.” Tiffany’s smile was beautiful. So beautiful.

You’d better memorize her beauty now. Take it all in, Taeyeon. You might not be alive for much longer to do it after she finds out what’s clogging her toilet. Yeah, the queen will die by the hands of her queen. But that’s alright. At least you get to die in your queen’s arms. That’s an honourable death befitting of a queen.

Taeyeon smiled, feeling as brave as a lion in that instant and said, “I’ll stay here and help if you need me to.”

Tiffany’s smile dazzled even more and for a fleeting moment, Taeyeon wondered if anyone was ever blinded by a smile. She might be the first if there wasn’t. She stood behind Tiffany, watching as the loveliest girlfriend she would ever have, dealt with the toiletbowl that she clogged up. It was her, she knew. After all, it was a pair of flushed that had brought them together. could clog up a toilet, that was for sure.

She admired Tiffany’s back, her eyes sweeping across from left to right, taking in her shoulders. She loved it when Tiffany wore a simple spaghetti strap top. It bared most of Tiffany’s shoulders, which was a feast for her eyes. Of course, the cute little pair of pink pyjamas bottoms bared most of Tiffany’s legs as well and allowed a tiny hint of the girl’s cheeks. Taeyeon knew her lips were on an upward trend as she looked but could do nothing to stop it. Even her impending death couldn’t wipe it off her face.

“Oh my gosh, what’s this?” Tiffany squeaked in surprise as she held up the object responsible for clogging her toiletbowl. “Pan…ties…?”

Taeyeon swallowed hard as Tiffany’s eyes connected with hers and grew wider with revelation.

Be brave, Taeyeon. “I-It’s…mine…”

“What?”

“I…flushed…it…”

“Why?!”

“Because…” Taeyeon’s eyes could no longer bear to remain connected to Tiffany’s and closed as she told the truth with gusto, “I wanted to fart but ended up ting instead.”

Tiffany blinked and didn’t make a sound. It was nerve wrecking. Taeyeon couldn’t breathe. Was Tiffany mad at her? Was she so mad that she couldn’t even say anything?

“You…ted in your ?”

Taeyeon bit her lip as a cold burn zipped across her spine. “Yes.”

“Does it happen a lot?”

“No! Of course not.” Taeyeon was appalled that Tiffany even asked. “I usually make it to the toilet in time. And this was a mistake. I thought it was a fart.”

“Open this flap and hand me a disposable bag.” Taeyeon did as Tiffany asked and watched as the her lovely soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend put her criminal in it. The bag was tied up with a knot and Tiffany handed it back to her. “Throw it away. Properly.”

Taeyeon nodded and tried not to panic as she walked to the kitchen. Tiffany didn’t appear to be angry about it. But was she holding it in? It was hard to tell.

She returned to the bathroom just as Tiffany was washing up and decided it was time to apologize. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have tried to flush it down the toilet.”

“Your apology is a little too late, Taeyeon. It’s not making me feel any better right now.”

Taeyeon pouted. She didn’t want to make Tiffany angry. “I’m sorry…I won’t flush down the toilet again.”

The look in Tiffany’s eyes intensified in an instant and Taeyeon could sense the flames rising in her. Tiffany took one step towards her and she had to fight the urge to step back. But she managed to hold her ground and look at Tiffany, ready for come-what-may.

“It’s not about that. I’m angry because you felt the need to hide it from me. I’m angry because you’re drinking more than you can handle and I’m angry because you’re hurting yourself. I’m angry about all these things, Taeyeon. It’s not about the clogged toilet. I can fix a broken toilet but I can’t fix a broken Taeyeon.”

“Fany…” Taeyeon didn’t know what else to say. Tiffany’s anger wasn’t directed at the . It was directed in three other directions she hadn’t anticipated and it came as a less-than-welcome surprise.

“Go home, Taeyeon. Go home and think about it. And see a doctor while you’re at it. This diarrhea business is bad for you.”

“It’s hurricane diarrhea. Comes and goes like the wind,” Taeyeon joked, trying to ease the tension but Tiffany wasn’t letting up.

“It’s not funny, Taeyeon. I’m not amused.” Tiffany frowned. “If anything, you’re pissing me off even more. Go home before I lose it completely.”

Tiffany certainly sounded like she meant it. She’d better leave before Tiffany blew her top. And see a doctor too. She’d do it if that made Tiffany feel better. She’d do anything.

“I’m really sorry, Fany. I’ll see a doctor. I’ll do as you say.”

Tiffany didn’t reply, her nostrils flaring as her eyes burned like coals in fire and something about her silence made it clear that she wasn’t kidding about losing it completely. The anger was simmering. It was a time bomb, waiting to explode any minute now. She’d better leave. Right now.

No .

-