Kyungsoo's heart is beating faster than usual in his chest and he looks up to Jongin, his hands shaking with cold and nervousness. He usually loves winter but now... now he feels bad wherever he goes.

He feels bad because he knows Jongin isn't like him... he's a freak, he's not worth the trouble. Jongin can get all the girls he wants, and Kyungsoo knows that's what Jongin wants... girls. Not a scrawny pale boy who looks like he's from primary school.

But still his palms are sweaty when he touches Jongin's hand, he feels sudden urges to just Jongin's face... just to feel it.

He's standing with Jongin, and his gloved fingers are balled tight in a fist, his hat nearly falling off, but he doesn't want to pull it back and faten it tightly on. Because that will ruin the moment.

They're looking across the snow covered beauty of the hills, the snow falling creating a veil over the trees and grass. It's so early in the morning, the sky is filled with orange and pink hues, and it almost looks as if it is out of another planet's sky. Kyungsoo looks up, and sees Jongin smiling down at him. Smiling with fondness. Fondness not love. Kyungsoo's eyes burn in the cold from crying too much yesterday.

He's leaving Jongin, they're going to two different universities, and Kyungsoo knows he's nowhere near handsome or intelligent or funny or sociable enough for anyone to take six hours worth of trouble to visit.

On the day their offers came, Jongin laughed at Kyungsoo. 'Why did you have to be so clever to get into Oxford you clown?' Jongin laughed again 'I just imagine you with your dozen test tubes tripping over your on shoes. You shouldn't be a chemist if you're so clumsy.'

'Where did you get in?' Kyungsoo knows they would never get into the same uni, but he can't but hope they're close.

'University of Glasgow.' Jongin seems half happy, half disappointed 'It's a long way away, I won't be with my family a lot. I'm not as clever as you, I didn't get into Cambridge. I'm going to bloody Scotland!'

Kyungsoo's heart sinks, disappointed. That is possible the furthest away Jongin could have been 'Well, it's a Russell Group Uni, you should be happy! And I'm not clever. You always bested me in the practicals.'

He uses the oppurtunity to lightly punch Jongin on the shoulder.

Now, just before the end of the Christmas holidays, Kyungsoo knows he was right. Jongin sent a few emails, but there was no word apart from that. Sure, they were spending a lot of time together over Christmas, but it's the end. Tomorrow Jongin leaves for Uni and a few days after that so does Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo's glad Jongin suggested camping.

'It sounds crazy why I would voluntarily sleep outside in the ridiculous cold, but I heard you're never truly friends with someone until after you've been camping with them.'

Kyungsoo nodded. Friends.

Kyungsoo couldn't bear it anymore. The pressure was building up, and all he wanted to do was cry.

So he buried his head into Jongin's freezing cold, slippery waterproof and started sniffling.

'A uni student shouldn't do this Kyungsoo... But I guess it's find.'

Jongin's arms wrapped around Kyungsoo.

'I want to see you...' Kyungsoo said and looked up timidly.

Jongin smiled so innocently, geniunely happily. 'I want to go out with you too Kyungsoo you just... I never said because I didn't know you were... that way orientated too.'

Kyungsoo looked surprised. He had just meant see you as in, keep in contact. But he kissed Jongin instead. What you didn't know couldn't hurt you. Besides, he was sure he would be able to force brownie points out of Jongin later under the excuse that he confessed first.

He couldn't feel the kiss because both their lips were so cold and numb, but he could feel Jongin's breathing against his face, and that was enough.

Six hours, no, five and a quarter hours wasn't that far.

Not to be able to be with Jongin.