“Say, stay here for a month? Then I’ll go back to Seoul with you once the semester’s done? We’ll spend Christmas together.” A smile crept up the elder’s lips, creating some sort of amazing contrast against the dark night sky, illuminating Sehun’s darkened world.

It had been a while since he last saw that smile, too long for him to even remember the last time. Perhaps it was when he forcefully made breakfast for him, or that afternoon before they fell asleep in each others’ arms, eyes glittering along the harmony of their racing hearts. The memory felt quite distant yet Sehun could still almost feel the warmth of every single touch they once shared. Turning back time used to be his wish yet with all that had happened, he would much rather have time to stand still, or perhaps just tick slower – maybe then he could spend more time smiling, loving. It was quite a wish yet Sehun really couldn’t find anything wrong with asking for something a tiny bit close to being impossible when the universe had seemed to rob him of everything.

“I mean you don’t have to. I won’t push you to stay. I’m gonna be busy with school and stuff. Finals is just a few weeks ahead. I would definitely understand if you would want to just go back home.” Bright smile was replaced by sad one – it reminded Sehun of a puppy he once saw at a pound. “If anything hurts …” The elder trailed. “Just go home. They can take care of you better there. Pretty sure Kyungsoo would be willing to move in the apartment with you until I come back? Or Minseok and Junmyeon can take turns too? Actually, yeah, it’ll be better if you just come home. But…” The elder chuckled, eyes focusing on everything but him. “I’ll miss you. I mean, I really will miss you. . I’d probably go insane.”

Sehun started chuckling as he reached for the elder’s face and cupped his cheeks, trying to get him focused. Rambling had always been the elder’s habit, especially when he’s getting nervous over something and Sehun would just find it either annoying or extremely adorable – that night, Sehun thought it was heartbreaking.

“Chanyeol-“

“I mean really, I’d probably end up swimming my way to Seoul or something or if not, I might just write your name on my test papers or I don’t know … but I’m pretty sure I’m really gonna go in-“

Sehun pressed a chaste kiss on the elder’s plump lips, making Chanyeol pause. The younger just smirked, knowing that he finally had the Chanyeol’s full attention.

“Park Chanyeol. My flight’s in a few minutes, plus I don’t think I can get my flight rescheduled anymore.” He smiled before placing another kiss on the elder’s lips. “I’ll miss you too.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

Sehun nodded, sad smile grazing his lips as he listened to his flight number being called.

“Call me when you once you land okay?”

Another nod.

“You’ll miss me?”

“Excruciatingly.”

“I love you.”

Three words that he hadn’t heard in a while, almost felt too close to forever and he thought perhaps he really didn’t need to ask anything from the universe anymore. Time had already stood still yet he knew he still hadn’t smiled enough and he was too far away from loving enough. He remembered Junmyeon once spent a whole twenty minutes talking about Karma and how it would kick him in the once it started acting. Sehun thought Chanyeol was his Karma, if it was the good kind or the bad kind, he really couldn’t care less – all that he knew was that Chanyeol, and his love, was the Karma he had always wanted and would still choose in his next life.

 Next life.

Ironic really.

Perhaps in his next life, he would smile more. He would love more.

And tell Park Chanyeol how much he loved the elder’s laugh, how his teeth were too bright it could battle the morning sun, or how much he loved the elder’s voice and how it would always make him like he was drowning, like the good kind of drowning. There was also the elder’s nonstop rambling and how his shotgun of a mouth always looked kissable despite the all the stupid words that would usually come out of it.

Perhaps in his next life, Oh Sehun would tell Park Chanyeol how much he loved him.

“I’ll see you in three weeks okay?”

“I’ll see you on Christmas.”

*****

Chanyeol leaned on the window pane behind him, tight jeans hugging his legs as he kicked around some frozen leaves on the sidewalk. The rings he was twiddling felt on cold on his fingers. Winter that year was a little too cold for his liking, the wind was crisp and fog was always masking the busy streets of Seoul. It wasn’t that he didn’t like winter, he loved it actually, it was just he didn’t like not feeling the warmth he had been used to – not like his whole year hadn’t felt the same. Winter just wasn’t as good to him that year than what he had expected.

An obnoxious smile curved his lips as he put both rings on his finger, it felt cold and stiff yet it brought memories that he would cross the coldest of cold just to go back to. It must have been nice, knowing how to turn back time. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about losing and regrets.

The same smile was still pasted on lips as he took a step towards his destination, bitter winter cold prickling his skin. Perhaps he should’ve worn something warmer, not his usual black leather jacket and white button up shirt that he would always match with a pair of black skinny jeans and a simple black tie. It was almost like ritual every Christmas, maybe it sort of was, for him to wear the same wardrobe during the said holiday. Wearing the same thing, doing to the same stuff, same place, same time, same rings, same everything – it was like redundant movie plot yet Chanyeol really couldn’t complain.

The fountain in front of a white hall looked the same as it did the year before, white lights wrapped around the spring, huge wreath hung on the doors, small Christmas trees standing at the foot of the stairs, twinkling in the midst of dark winter night. Chanyeol would laugh if not for the familiar face standing in the middle of his redundant plot with his red and grey plaid button up shirt, grey coat, black skinny jeans and bouquet of flowers.

Nostalgia had always been the most painful but not on Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve was Park Chanyeol’s favorite nostalgia.

“Oh Sehun.”

Chanyeol smiled a smile he could only muster on Christmas Eves, as he took a step towards the younger. It almost felt like a dream, maybe it was, or perhaps a mirage he really couldn’t seem to comprehend. He really didn’t want to ask, nor did he want to know. Chanyeol thought it was just perfect as it was. He would say it was his version of perfection yet he had always known that his perfection had been long gone and that what he was experiencing was just a mere left over – nothing more, nothing less. A teasing glimpse of a dream the dreamer that was Park Chanyeol once had.

“Did you miss me?” A teasing smile crept up the younger’s lips as tears quickly started falling from Chanyeol’s eyes, making the winter breeze feel harsher on his skin. It felt almost a tiny bit close to dysphoria caused by the temporary ecstasy he was feeling.

“Excruciatingly.” He muttered, wrapping his arms around Sehun’s scrawny body. The younger felt vulnerable in Chanyeol’s hug yet he really couldn’t care less as he tightened his grip around the younger’s body.  

“Hey, it’s only been three weeks.” Sehun chuckled as he tried and pried himself off the elder’s grip.

“You have no idea Oh Sehun.” Chanyeol almost sobbed. “You have no idea.”

“I missed you too.” A smile was drawn on the younger’s lips and Chanyeol thought he couldn’t be any happier. It was the smile he had missed, the smile he would cross the coldest of the cold just to see once more, the only smile that could make and break his heart all at the same time.

Chanyeol shuddered, it wasn’t from the cold he was sure of it. It was almost time. He could feel it was almost done. It was getting shorter each year he really couldn’t do anything. It felt like time was quickly slipping through his fingers and it was agonizing, almost as if he was losing his mind.  Every bit corner of his mind, along with his heart was screaming as the familiar fog started flooding the place – a replay of each year yet quicker, faster, more painful.

A little bit more. Please. Just a few more minutes, no, seconds. Just please. A little bit more. I just .. I just want to be with him again. Just a little bit more. Please. Please. I’m begging you …

“I love you.” Was all he could say before everything started falling apart, small black box slipping out of his grip, clanking of small circular metals echoing in his whole being. He started reaching for Sehun, hoping he would reach his beloved before everything started disappearing once more.

If I made it snow... If I stopped time...would you return to me?

Tears started falling once more, as cold bits of snow started falling from the dark winter night sky, beauty of the moon slowly hiding behind the darkness Chanyeol couldn’t seem to run away from. Everything felt cold; too cold it started piercing through his soul. His vision slowly blurring as the fog started enveloping the place, engulfing the every single bit of Chanyeol’s left over perfection.

A dreamer that had already woken up could never just simply go back to sleep and continue the euphoria his old dream had caused him. Mocking birds could fly yet falcons had always been the fastest fliers, always soaring above the horizon without looking back. And who said there was an exit to a labyrinth? The mocking bird could have flown its highest, soared its farthest, it could have crossed the cliff yet the same endless puzzle would still be there at the other end, waiting for its impossibility to be solved. It was already given that the world was cruel and obnoxious; hence the most important piece of the conundrum would forever be missing.

Chanyeol’s knees felt week, wobbly under his weight – the weight of his broken heart. The fog had once again, taken his beloved, his falcon, his dream, his perfection just like every year and he couldn’t do anything but shed tears he had been hiding throughout the whole year.

Oh Sehun was gone. He had already lost sight of his falcon. Perfection would never exist. The dreamer had already awakened a long time ago.

He ran his fingers through his cropped hair, thinking of how his friends would about him always getting the same hair cut on Christmas Eve. They would probably laugh more if they would find out that he would wear the same clothes and wrap the same exact gift every year.  He was already laughing at himself anyway so what’s the point? His sanity had been long gone, and Park Chanyeol really couldn’t think of any other reason how the same moment would repeat every year on Christmas Eve.  It was like an endless loop of torment Chanyeol didn’t want to end – because beyond all the torture, beyond the redundant tears and pain, there was his beloved, standing by the sparkling fountain with a smile on his lips and bouquet of flowers in his right hand waiting for Park Chanyeol to come back for him just like what they promised before they parted in the midst of poignant Paris winter. Beyond all the agony and false hopes, there would be Oh Sehun.

It could be a mirage, or just his sanity fleeting away, yet Park Chanyeol regret nothing.

Perhaps it was a miracle.

Chanyeol closed his eyes as he felt cold bit of snow fall on the tip of his nose and as if on cue, he felt his consciousness started drifting away. It was different from before, yet he really didn’t have much time to contemplate. Time didn’t feel like it was standing still, it was just him and his thoughts, agonizing along memories he would lock with him in his labyrinth for eternity, beyond dreams and perfection.

*****

“What did you do?”

A sad smile grazed his lips he felt a familiar presence beside him.

“I don’t know. What did I do?”

The newcomer just looked at him with concerned eyes. It had been a while since he saw the elder look at him that way. It reminded him so much of his childhood when he used to cry over stolen candies and spilled ice cream. Memories he would sometimes visit just to ease his boredom, probably a tiny bit of homesickness along the way.

“How long?”

He shrugged, feeling his energy quickly draining with every second. “I’m not really sure. Eight? Nine years? When did Chanyeol come back from Paris? The last Christmas when Sehun could still stand and talk properly? Sehun’s last Christmas, I think?”

Sadness quickly painted the elders eyes.

“I thought you couldn’t do that Zitao?”

Tao started chuckling; weakly reaching for the elder’s gloved hand as he felt his body slowly giving up on him. The elder was trembling, and he was very well aware that memories were painfully playing in the elder’s mind. Luhan had always, and would forever, save a special spot for Oh Sehun in his heart.

“I thought so too.” The younger smiled, sharp eyes clouded with unshed tears. “But mind over matter yeah?”

“But it’s draining you. How long have you been doing this?”

“How long had Sehun been dead?” He muttered, last three words escaping his through a bitter whisper, wishing that the coldness of the night would just succumb every syllable and turn it to a nightmare they would all wake up from in the Christmas morn.

“Eight years Zitao.” Luhan drew an exhausted sigh, shifting his gaze up the dark night sky. “He had been gone for eight years.”

“Eight years it is. It’s getting harder every year though.” He felt an arm snake around his waist, hoisting him up right before his knees give up on him. “Taking him back to that night, turning back time from all the way back then. It’s getting harder, before I would still have enough strength to stop time and take him back to his apartment. I mean I cant’t let him wake up looking like an abandoned puppy in front of his dead boyfriend’s grave, Can I? Which you’ve already taken care of, I presume?”

“Yeah, I knocked him out. Kris is taking him home. Yixing is already waiting there to double check and see if I didn’t manipulate his brain too much.”

“Thank you.” Zitao smiled, tears freely trailing down his cheeks as he thought of how Chanyeol smiled once his eyes met Sehun’s. It was precious, how two people could share such affection, and Zitao would risk breaking his hourglass just to witness it again, yet he knew he couldn’t. Once the hourglass breaks, he would break too. And Luhan would do anything to piece him back together just to punch him in the face, and really he wouldn’t want feeling Luhan’s fist on his face.

Luhan just smiled at him.

“I used to be able to hold the hourglass longer, at least up to the part before Sehun passed out. Every year I was hoping that Chanyeol would be able to give Sehun the ring you know? At least even if it was already too late, they could have changed something. I could have changed something but Chanyeol never had the chance. I could never keep it long enough.” Zitao sobbed. “I heard him pleading for more seconds. I wish I could give it to him Luhan. I really wish I could.”

“Even miracles have their limitations Zitao.”

 END

A/N: I have been bawling my eyes out the whole day over Miracles of December MV and i thought I should make my life harder and make a oneshot out of it and since Sanctuary AU fits so much .. I thought hey .. make yourself cry and wite another fic out if it so year you go guys (:

Maybe I'm make one for the other arcs too, maybe not.
There's still plenty of time before Christmas (:

anyhow, ADVANCE MERRY CHRISTMAS BELOVED READERS

how about a comment and an upvote for an advance Christmas gift as well?

xoxo - rin