Framed Puzzle

"Jongdae" "Kim Jongdae" is a name that has been slipping through my mind.

A name that remains intact in my thoughts and the feeling of longing is always in my heart.

The boy I once knew now becomes a man I no longer recognise.

The smile he always shows towards me is now from a different person.

"Chen" the name he now holds. Another side of him that I will never know.

The spotlight has made him more visible to others and became distant to me.

My voice no longer heard by him because now there are thousands of voices cheering for him.

His eyes barely notice me because his view is blocked by oceans of fans.

The boy he used to be no longer captures my heart but now belongs to a man I can never have.

If time will spare me a moment with you I'll pick up the pieces that we have left unsolved.

But as time goes by we become miles apart and its already hard for me to reach out to you.

Your hand that once held mine has now been touch by millions of people.

We are now strangers that had live a life together before we fall apart.

Me watching you from afar is much better than only having to see you as a memory from the past.

Now that we both walked a different path I'll keep "Jongdae" completely framed in my mind while "Chen" as my puzzle memory that I need to put into place.

And if one day we'll meet again I'll be able to distinguish "Chen" from "Jongdae" and soon enough I'll be loving you both without any comparison.

← Foreword

Comments

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enirehtaknna #1 Dec 3, 2013 06:45:35

No i'm not offended I actually am greatful. I'll edit it once I'll get my hands on my laptop. Thank you for your honest critic:)

Park_HyeSun #2 Dec 3, 2013 06:04:24

Chapter 1: This concept is interesting, in my opinion. It's almost poetic too! Though if you don't mind me speaking of certain things, then proceed in reading this comment.

I felt that sometimes, you forgot to insert the past tense version of a word. Example-wise, in this sentence (... we have left unsolve.), it would have been (... we have left unsolved.). I left the (...) to indicate the earlier sentence, eh. Also, in this one. In my opinion, the sentence (Your hand that once holding mine has now been touch by millions of people.) would have been more proper like this (Your hand that once held mine has now been touched by millions of people.), or something along those lines.

All in all, I really like the last sentence that sums up this story well. I apologize if I have offended you with this comment, because that is never my intent. I just feel that an honest opinion is what you deserve for writing this. Have a nice day now, ^^/