**

I just transferred in my new school. I have no friends, no acquaintance, I don’t have anyone. Just me, myself and I. “Good morning, I am Byun Baekhyun.” I looked at them. They are all staring at me, weirdly. I don’t know what’s wrong with my face. They continue staring at me when suddenly; a husky voice joined that awkward moment.

“Sit down. I’m getting pissed with your face.” My bended head turned up and there, I saw a handsome guy sitting on the most end of this room. His crossed arms, his fierce eyes, his clenched jaw, it is all attractive. “I said sit down. Can’t you hear me? Are you deaf?” I snapped out when I heard his voice again. I immediately turn aback and faced the lecturer. I bowed at him and find a vacant seat.

“Sit beside Mr. Park, Mr. Byun” At first, I don’t know who Park is but when I saw the lecturer pointing the guy who talked to me a while ago, I already knew who he is. I sat beside him and flashed a smile when I noticed that he is staring at me.

The class started that fast and Mr. Park didn’t talked to me until the end of the period. I saw him looking at me several times. I want to ask him what is his problem but he always turned away his view on the other side whenever I am going to say a word. He’s just staring at me the whole time and that gave me shivers across my spine. I don’t know if this shiver is the creepy one or…the hoity-toity one. I don’t know.

After the class, I decided to go home early because I have nothing else to do here in school since I don’t have any acquaintances yet. I hope I can find one. I’m done arranging my things and ready to go home when suddenly, big hands covered my mouth. I felt so effin’ nervous for I don’t know the reason. When he decided to let go of my mouth, I faced him. It is him. “Wae?” I finally utter after the long silence. I waited for his reply but I didn’t receive ‘ha’ neither ‘ho’.

“What is your problem—” I didn’t able to finish my sentence when he, so suddenly, pulled me and kissed me. I really don’t know how to react. My eyes are still widened even he pushed himself away from me.

With red face, “Sorry” was the only word that comes out in him. And by that, he left me puzzled.

 **

“Statistics is the practice or science of collecting and analyzing numerical data in large quantities.” I can’t focus on what my lecturer is saying. Thrice in a minute, I caught him glancing at me. I can’t focus and I want to ask him why the hell did he kissed me—and left me without anything for explanation.

The classes are done so do my scattered things are. I prepared myself to go outside the room when I saw him walking. Walking in the rain. I can’t prevent my feet from walking near him. It’s just that my feet and my hands are in opposite decision. Just as my mind and my heart.

When I finally reached him, I grab his arms and pulled him closer to me. “What are you doing? You’ll get sick if you continue walking in the rain.” I shared my umbrella to him and start to walk slowly. I want to ask him about what happened yesterday.

I’m about to ask him when he immediately cling his right hand on my nape, and kissed me—again…in the rain. I dropped my umbrella, and so do my jaw is when he pulled himself away from me. Just like yesterday, he left me puzzled. I really can’t understand him. He kissed me, and then left me. What does he think I would feel? Ugh.

 **

Three days have passed, but my life here doesn’t change, even the treatment of my classmates. They continue with their lives and end their days as if no one is trying to befriend with them. I really tried my best to get closer to them but they are ignoring me. They didn’t give me any attention. Except of one person, you know who he is right? The only one, who kissed me, kissed me then left me, then kissed me again, and then left me again. He kissed me even in front of everyone/anyone and then left me stiffened. I want to punch him, kick him, slap him…but I can’t. Just like I’ve thought, my mind is in opposite decision with my heart. And as usual, my heart is always winning. He is kissing me in three consecutive days, but it will never happen today. I’ll make sure that I will never be kissed by that giant this day.

I walk fast, as in very fast that I can compare myself into a racing car. While doing my half run, something…I mean someone caught my attention. Of course, he can catch my attention because of his giant-ness. I stopped from walking and faced Mr. Park who is facing the other side. I think he didn’t notice me.

“Stop this Yeol, No matter what you do, we’re over.” I heard a lovely ‘chick’ voice. “I am not going to reconcile us.” That sentence left my mind, again—puzzled. I am wondering who this girl is. I want to know how is she related to Mr. Park but I just knew the answer when she said, “Ex will always be EX. Even if you used that stupid transferee…Byun Baekhyun, or kissed him whenever I am around—just to make me jealous, nothing will be changed. I am no longer in love with you Yeol, just accept the truth.” When I heard that ‘using’ part, my eyes began to be swollen. When I linked my right hand to my right chin, I felt this wet thingy, are these tears? Oh, yeah. I’ve fallen for him. I bow my head and started crying so hard. I know that they can’t hear nor see me for I have enough distance from them. I also started rubbing my two thumbs and forefingers in my eyes. They don’t know how to stop!

I continued washing these fingers through my face when so suddenly, I bumped into a giant. Nope, this is not him.

I hugged him as I saw his face. I know he’s frowning right now but I really don’t care. I just wanted to cry until the pain goes away with this feeling of mine. I’ve fallen for that bad@ss and this is what I will get? Damn, that’s unfair! I don’t want him to kiss me—and left me. I want him to kiss me—and say that he likes me. I want it that way, but I think it will never happen because he’s damn in love with her Ex and is using me to get her jealous.

“What is the problem, Nam-dongsaeng?” My Zi Tao-Hyung asked. I pulled myself to get away with that tight hug I am giving to him.

I forced a smile and said “I just missed my hyung. Don’t you miss me too?” I pouted after that, he gave me an endless glare until we reached my place.

(Let’s assume that Byun Baek Hyun is younger than Huang Zi Tao.)

“I know that stare of yours, I’m fine here don’t you worry.” I gave him another forced smile and pouted when his brows connected as he frowned.

“You’re not fine as I can see. You’re not good at lying Baek-dongsaeng.” Maybe I can’t fight these feelings anymore. I let go of a cackle and immediately faced-palm as I outburst a wild cry. I felt my hyung walking near me, as he stopped in front of me; He hugged me and patted my head. “This is not you, Baek. Stop crying.”

 **

“I’m heading back to Seoul, take care of you.” He patted my head and flashed me a smile, I replied. He got here for a short vacation and to check what is going on with my new life. “Please, don’t let that giant-user use you again, hwaiting!” He cheered me with full of energy and kissed me on the cheeks after. I cannot be able to send him to the airport because I have classes to attend to. When he left, I sighed. I’m alone again in this place, with no one to lean on—with nothing to hope for.

I prepared myself to go to school after that long semester break. I was walking on the street when suddenly, a soft big arm tightly hold my wrist and pulled me on the other way of the road. ‘Déjà vu’

“Hey.” I closed my eyes as he said those words. Those deep words, I missed it. I don’t know what to reply and what to say. We didn’t do any conversations and so we are not that close. He faced me and cupped my face. I want him to kiss me right here right now, I want him to say that he likes me right here right now. I damnly wanted him but I can’t let this feeling ruin me. I slapped his hands away from my face.

Nearly crying, “I really like you even though I didn’t know your full name, your status…even though I didn’t know you.” I stopped as I bit my lower lip preventing myself from crying. “When you’re kissing me, I feel those butterflies and gummy worms inside my stomach, my cheeks even turned to red whenever you kissed me. I badly love you Mr. Park. I fall for you but you didn’t.” I stepped closer to him and cupped his face. I already thought that this will happen so I prepared myself. I kissed him. He replied. We shared our lips for about 5 minutes when I parted first. This is the end, “You are always kissing me, and then left me. I will never do that to you, Park. I’m different from you. I will kiss you,” I gave him a peck on his lips “And will leave you.” I kissed him again, “GOODBYE.”

A tear fell from my right eye when I unlinked my hands into his face. I faced my back and started walking as if nothing happen. I will forget about him and will forget about this feeling. Being in love is dangerous, especially, If you are in love with a person who doesn’t love you back.

“I love you.” I said unknowingly. I closed fists and bite my upper lip this time.

“I love you too.” I stiffened when I heard a husky and deep voice from behind. Is that him?

“What did you say?” I said not turning my back.

“I said I love you too. I love you too. I really do.” My frowned brows faced him.

“How come, huh? You used me to make your ex-girlfriend jealous—”I didn’t able to finish my words when he kissed me. Is this the part that he will kiss me, and left me, for real?

“I didn’t do kiss you just to make her jealous…”

*
[FLASHBACK]

“Ex will always be EX. Even if you used that stupid transferee…Byun Baek Hyun, or kissed him whenever I am around—just to make me jealous, nothing will be changed. I am no longer in love with you Yeol, just accept the truth.” I don’t know how to react with what is she saying. What the hell did she thought that I am doing those things just to make her jealous? “I will never be yours again—”

She didn’t finish her sentence when I turned my face to the right side and saw that guy crying…did he saw us? Hear us? I looked again at her and asked “What are you saying, Mi-Yeon?” I hissed as I frowned more and more. “I never kissed him because of you. I kissed him, because I wanted to. On the first day of our meeting, I fell in love at him that fast. I don’t know if this is corny but yes, I’ve got hit by the love at first sight. I say stupid words at him…

([ANOTHER FLASHBACK]: “Sit down. I’m getting pissed with your face.” Actually, I am not. It’s just that I am getting more and more in-like with him whenever he turns his head and face me. “I said sit down. Can’t you hear me? Are you deaf?” Then I faced the other way, I can’t stop my feelings. I like him.)

I kissed him and left him…

([ANOTHER FLASHBACK]: I pulled him, I want to confess and shout to his face that I really like him. “Wae?” He said. I don’t know how to react and I’m panicking inside…I want you, I like you, I love you. I really want to utter those words but my cowardness just ate me. I don’t know what to do next so I kissed him. I pressed my lips into his and…left. Stupid me! Why did I left? You coward, giant!)

I kissed him again, and left him again.

([ANOTHER FLASHBACK]: I am so depressed that I didn’t able to confess what I feel to him yesterday. I walked in the rain for I don’t know how long. I want to feel this rain, this weather that helps my pain go away. While walking slowly, “What are you doing? You’ll get sick if you continue walking in the rain.” I stiffened a moment but shrugged and walked slowly. I want to treasure this moment of us. He is about to talk but I kissed him—again. I don’t know what is happening to me, I’m being erted lately, in him. I kissed him and cupped his face. When I parted my lips into his, I feel so shy so I left him, I know this is a mean move but I want to kiss him—but I am too afraid to confess my feelings. My, so…coward-self!)

“I love him Mi-Yeon. Don’t assume that I’m being like this because of you. You’re wrong, I kissed him for the reason that I am deeply in love with Byun Baek Byun.”

*

“I kissed you because I love you. I love you Byun Baek Hyun. And just so you know, I am Park Chan Yeol. Your current and will be your last boyfriend.” He hugged me and I hugged him back. I so love him. I thought that my stay here will never be that fun, will never be that easy. Yeah, staying here is a worth it decision. I met him; I met the guy who will give me happiness, and contentment. “I love you too, PARK CHAN YEOL.”

He parted our bodies and lean his forehead into mine. He slowly gave a peck on my lips, “I will kiss you and will never leave you. Never, I love you.”

**