Title: Hollow

Author: nanasway

Characters: Zhang Yixing/Lay, Hyun Raeni (OC)

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Title:

I love the title. I wanted to know as to why it was named 'Hollow'. And, it was unique too. Good job!

Rating: 5/5

Description/Foreword:

You didn't show much of the stories, which is good. In fact, just by reading the foreword made me want to read the story already. But, there were some grammatic errors.

'ringed up' should be 'ring them up' since it is in present time.

Rating: 6/10

Grammar:

There were some words that doesn't make sense.

Like:

"The following day Lay had visited the site and saw the broken down ask structure of the house."

When it should be: "The following day Lay had visited the site and saw the broken down ask structure of the house."

I don't even know why it was there.

But, all in all your grammar is good and you use words that make people understand it easily.

Rating: 22/25

Characterization:

You explained the characters smoothly and well. You explained it as if it was real, as if somebody is experiencing it right now. It was really good and it wasn't blurry.

Rating: 5/5

Plot/Storyline:

I really like the plot. It was slow and creative. I like how everything connects and it is not scattered like some of the other stories.

Rating: 23/25

Writing Style:

I love your writing style. It's smooth and easy to read. You used words that was easy to understand and you write in a descriptive way. You didn't use a lot of flowery words too. Good job.

Rating: 5/5

Originality:

It was unique. It was the kind of story you would read nowhere else.

Rating: 19/20

Enjoyment:

I wasn't a fan of angst genre but you made me change the view of it. It was bittersweet. Anyways, I enjoyed it until the end and it made me want to read it more.

Rating: 5/5

Sorry for the long wait. I had to update my oh-so lame stories.