Sungjong is in denial.

Underweight.

Even without weighing himself, he notices. Without using this 'ideal weight calculator' application, Sungjong already knows. Even without consulting his personal instructor in gym, he fully understands the situation. Without the nagging from his leader about his chins looking too sharp now and his cheeks too thin, the youngest is aware of his own condition. Without the help of the mirror he knows his bones jolt out more than months ago.

Lee Sungjong knows he is underweight.

And he knows he needs to eat more.

Or else he will only looks like sick-man. He couldn't let it happen, Infinite's youngest has a healthy-bubbly-bright-cute image, he shouldn't look like a walking skeleton.

I need to gain some weights.

So he eats more.

He puts a scoop more of rice in his bowl, though it still make his portion half than Dongwoo's. He also adds more side dish in his plate.

Hoya throws a quick glance at him. "Hungry?"

It sounds rhetoric, Sungjong doesn't even bother to answer him. He puts the food in his mouth and chews, and chews, and chews. It feels like hours when finally he manages to finish his meal, and all of his band mates already leave the table minutes ago.

When Woohyun gathers them for dinner a few hours later, with chicken that should be very appetizing with its aroma and the seasoning glistening on its skin, Sungjong finds his mouth goes dry instead. "I think I eat too much at lunch earlier."

Being the nice yet strict leader he is, Sunggyu doesn't let him skip dinner, so Sungjong sits with his usual tiny portion. He lazily raises his chopstick when suddenly remembers an article. 'Eating slowly give your body time to process the food and deceive it that you are already full.' And Sungjong did the exact opposite. Shut his sense, Sungjong stuffs his face, and chews, and chews, and chews. This time faster than when he eats his lunch.

"Eat slowly, kid. Geez, I thought you were saying that you are not hungry?" Sunggyu scolds him.

For not listening to his leader, Sungjong ends up in the bathroom throwing up his dinner. He really shouldn't eat too fast.
Maybe increasing the portion of his meal is not a solution.

But I need to add some weights.

So he eats snacks.

He keeps biscuits and chocolate in his bag. He buys fries and salty chips, or calories and calories. But even with the delicious treat in front of him, Sungjong ends up just staring at them. Finally picking one after thirty minutes, Sungjong bits it a little, and munches, and munches, and munches, and sighs. He wraps the snack again, doesn't feel like eating them.

Sungyeol catches him sitting with untouched crackers in his laps one day and reports him to Sunggyu who immediately bans him for eating snack before meal-time. "Don't just eat snack, Sungjongie, you need to eat rice too. Eating snack make you lost your appetite."

But how can he loses something that non-exist since the very beginning?

I really need to put some weights.

So he tells Sunggyu.

Telling your friends you are on a diet help you control your intake, they will help remind you. Telling Sunggyu he is trying to gain weight help Sungjong gets whatever food he wants, he manages to coax their manager to buy it for Sungjong. Chicken, dumpling, rice-cake, everything favored by Sungjong, he sneaks them in for him everyday.

"Eat, I agree with you, some extra-weight will be good on you." Sunggyu is a great leader, and a greater friend. Under his eyes, he makes sure Sungjong is eating. But behind him, Sungjong transfers half of his portion to Dongwoo's plate.

Sungjong chews and munches, keeps his jaws moving mechanically process the food in his mouth. It is food, he reminded himself repeatedly, but why does they just feel like sand?

Why doesn't he feel like eating?

It's because he is in denial.

"I need to gain some weights" is what he says to himself.

"You need to gain some weights," is what everyone say to him.

But what they don't say out loud, and clearly shown through their eyes are, "you have a good s-line. You have a nice, sharp jaws. Your lacks of fat in your cheeks make you manlier and more handsome. Your hip is so narrow, i envy you."

And Sungjong finds contentment in their jealousy.

"I need to gain some weights."

Sungjong keeps lie to himself.