~Dasom’s POV~

               My friends said they were busy.  Whether they were planning to meet their boyfriends or just avoiding a boring afternoon wandering around- I do not know.  I was glad for the silence though, it allowed me to think, or not think, at my leisure.  It was nice to not have to think.  I’ve been spending so much time thinking recently that I’m surprised my head hasn’t exploded.  I’m so relieved that I’m almost done attending University.    Once I pass my final examinations, after studying day and night for at least a couple weeks, I’ll be free.  Free to find a job and start being an adult.

               The sun glints off the shiny cars as they drive by.  Inside I catch glimpses of the drivers and passengers, intent on their destination with smiles, frowns, and all varieties of expressions on their faces.  I wonder where they’re going and why.  I wonder if they attended school in Seoul and if they’re happy with their career.  I pass an elderly couple walking in the opposite direction.  They do not seem to be speaking to each other and they are not holding hands, yet I know they have been together for a long time.  It must be something in the way they seem so comfortable with each other, or perhaps how their strides match the other’s pace.  I’d like to grow old with someone.

               “You can’t just wait for the perfect man,” my friend Soyu has told me time and time again.  She insists that women have to actively search for the right match.  I think it’s kind of cold, to meet a man and immediately evaluate his qualifications and compare him to other men.  Perhaps her way is more pragmatic, but it just seems so unromantic.

               As I stroll by a shop that displays posters advertising this or the other product that will make the buyer’s life meaningful and perfect, I wonder if the world hasn’t grown past its romantic days.  When we were high school students, we thought our crushes were real and important.  But looking back, the only things that really matters about our past once we’re admitted into university are our grades.  

               Even though I attended high school in Seoul, life after graduating has been very different.  Since I no longer live with my family, I feel a lot freer, but also a lot more burdened with responsibility.  I can leave the apartment that I share with my sister and two friends anytime I want to.  Yet I always have to return to my green-blanketed twin bed because I paid for it and just as I own it, it owns me.   I belong more to that apartment than I have to any person ever.

               Today I feel like I could just keep walking and never turn back.  I wonder if my friends truly satisfied with how their lives are turning out.  Bora, who is three years older than me, has been dating this guy for only a couple months.  But I think she is happy.  She likes the independence of being single most of the time.  Both her and Soyu enjoy going to night clubs and dancing the night away.  Hyorin and I do too, but we were raised in a household that sang together so we like to go to karaoke bars instead.  My older sister wants to be a famous musical actress someday, yet she seems content auditioning for the minor character roles for now.  I wish I could be as confident in my future.

               My thoughts are interrupted by the vibrations of my phone in my bag.  I pull it out and look at the text that caused my cell phone to go off.

To: Dasom  From: Soyu <3

 Message: Bora and Hyorin are going out to meet their boyfriends for lunch, I’m going to go shopping in Hongdae. Sorry that you’ll have to eat on your own.

               I really didn’t mind at all.  I had no intention of going back to meet up with them for lunch.  I text her to tell her that it was perfectly alright, and set my course for a place that I hadn’t been in many years.

               It's funny how visiting a place full of memories can result in a magical time-travel effect.  Despite having grown-up, I feel giddy at the site of all the rides and games at the amusement park that I used to visit when I was a child.  I braved my first roller coaster here, I still remember how frightened I was when the cart approached the top of the first rise.  "Tick tick tick tick," and the rush of fear and amazement as everyone screamed collectively when we began to plummet down.  My sister was so proud of me for not crying.  I look up at the large structure, now painted green, and can't help but smile.

               Children scampered around, some pursued by worrying mothers, some pursued by another child.  My grin widens as I take in the merry scene.  Walking along, I see an icecream stand and decide to see if they have french vanilla.  Waiting in line provides me with more time to watch the young people scamper around.  A small group of young girls are sitting at a table enjoying their sweet food.  A little boy is standing quietly, intent on his icecream.  A grandmother is smiling at her granddaughter as she brings over a chocolate cone.  When it is my turn, I request my favorite flavor, pay, and turn to continue my meandering.

               I do not get far.  My eyes stop on a face, on his face.  He stands out in his dark suit, but his presence calls out to my heart and I cannot remove my gaze from his.