As I’m staring at the city of Seoul I can’t help it but to think about you, Kim Jinah.

Out of all people, why L.Joe? Why does it have to be him?

Kim Jinah, how am I supposed to move on when you’re constantly around me?

During all these times, I guess I was never the one who you like was I?

Looking at up to the sky, I can still remember the memories we had together.

Flashback

“Yah L.Joe you better give me back that picture you took of me when I was sleeping!” I was mad at L.Joe because he took a really ugly picture of me and I didn’t want no one to see the picture at all.

L.Joe was across the hall, sticking out his tongue and waving the picture in the air, “Catch me if you can!”

“That little…” before I could finish L.Joe had already ran off with the picture. “I swear I am going to kill him when I get my hands on him.”

I ran after L.Joe. I saw L.Joe running past the corner of the hall right before he disappeared, so I followed him.

Right when I reached the corner, I accidently bump into someone and with the strong impact we both fell down on the ground.

My head was throbbing and to be honest I was quite pissed, "Aish…What the hell do you—".

I couldn’t finish my sentence because right in front of me I saw an angel. I never saw anyone who was this beautiful in my life before. It was as if the time stop for a minute and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. It was as if the sun wouldn’t stop beaming down at her.

Her voice was so soft and sweet, “I’m so sorry for bumping into you!”

She got up and didn’t stop apologizing to me. She was bowing 90 degrees and kept saying sorry.

For the first time in a long while my heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to jump out of my body. I couldn’t help but smile at the girl. She was definitely cute.

After I came back to my senses and told her that she didn’t need to keep apologizing, she gave me a smile and said sorry one more time. She told me that she was a new student at our school and her name was Kim Jinah. I know that I’ll definitely remember her name. I offered to show her around school and gave her a tour. As we talked and laughed I know for sure that she was a great person. I think for the first time I’ve experience what you called love at first sight.

It was all worth it to get to know her that day. She was extremely sweet and polite. I didn’t even care if L.Joe showed that ugly picture of me to most of my classmates because I was happier at the fact that my friendship with Jinah started from that day on.

As weeks goes by, Jinah had made some friends and we would hang out occasionally whenever L.Joe didn’t came to school. Like every other times that I talked to Jinah, my heart couldn’t stop beating.

After a while I told L.Joe about Jinah. I never mentioned her name because I know for sure that he’ll tease me when he knows who she is and when she’s around.

That was the biggest mistake that I had ever made.

L.Joe would question me about her all the time. He was curious about who she was, “C’mon Changjo, just tell me her name! At least the first letter of her name!” I just shook my head and walked away with pouty L.Joe following behind me.

Even though Jinah and I only had Chemistry together, I was more than happy to get to see her. She was always so cheerful every day. We didn’t hang out around our breaks because she would always hang out with her friends and I would hang out with L.Joe but I was fine with it.

It wasn’t just me that was head in heels in love, but I can see that in L.Joe’s face too as I realize how cheerful he was lately. He used to barely come to school but he’s been coming lately and I knew for sure that he was in love just like me. I never asked him about it but he once told me that there was a girl in his P.E. class who had caught his attention and he couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t ask more when he told me the information because knowing L.Joe, he would want to know more about Jinah and who she was. Still, I was content to see L.Joe hyung happy and for finding a girl who could possibly change his bad habits.

As weeks turned into months I suddenly realize that I am definitely in love with her, but I was too afraid to confess. I was afraid of rejection and was afraid that I would ruin mine and Jinah’s friendship. So I kept quiet even though thousands of boys at our school was also falling head over heels for her. I was truly jealous and hated how some boys can get so close to her, but I kept it to myself.  

After a while I couldn’t take it no more. I had to have Jinah, or at least tell her how I feel so I can get this feeling out. I finally decided that I was going to tell her on Valentine’s Day. I know that I had competition but I needed to tell her now before it was too late. I worked for hours just making sure that the sweets that I made for her was perfect. It didn’t matter how many times I had to remake it or burned myself, as long as it was perfect then I was happy. That morning I dressed up nicer than usual and rode my motorcycle to school with the sweets in my pocket. I couldn’t wait to give these to Jinah and confess to her. The only thing that ran in my head the whole time while I was on my way to school was Kim Jinah.

When I got there I tried looking for her but I couldn’t find her. I looked at bigger groups hoping she was with them, but she wasn’t. I even went and asked her friends but she was nowhere to be found, “Where is she?”

Someone suddenly tapped my shoulders and I smiled thinking it was Jinah. As I turned around it was L.Joe instead. He looked different than usual and had a huge grin on his face, “Changjo, remember the girl that I told you who I liked in P.E?”

“Yea. What about her hyung?” I was curious why he was acting this way.

“Well since today was Valentine’s Day I asked her out and she said yes!” L.Joe put an arm around my shoulders while smiling and I couldn’t help but smile along with him.

L.Joe might seem like the player type but this time I know he was serious about this mysterious girl.

L.Joe suddenly let go of me and disappeared for a second. Right when he came back he was holding a girl’s hand. I couldn’t see at first how she looked like but when she got nearer, my heart stop.

It was Kim Jinah, with L.Joe.

This girl who had made L.Joe fall in love was the same girl who I had fallen in love with. My smile from earlier disappeared and I slightly look at them holding hands.

Hyung brought her up to me and was going to introduce us but Jinah interrupted and said hi to me. L.Joe was confused for a second but Jinah told him that we had Chemistry together and that we were friends. L.Joe confused face turned back into another smile and laughed, “That’s great that you guys already know each other! I thought you guys might not get along.”

From then on I know that nothing will be the same no more. I know that I couldn’t be Kim Jinah’s boyfriend. I threw the sweets away in a nearby trashcan when they weren’t looking and tried to block them out when they were talking to each other.

I was angry and sad for the rest of the day. I even ditch school in the middle of class just so I can think straight. The only thing in my mind was that Jinah was now L.Joe’s. I’ve lost her.

For months and months after that, I’ve told myself to try to get over her. Even though I tried, I couldn’t. She was always on my mind and I would see her every day with L.Joe. I was happy for L.Joe but I also couldn’t deny these feelings of jealousy when I see them together. Even so, I pretended that everything was okay and acted like nothing was wrong around them two because I didn’t want to destroy any of our friendship. L.Joe eventually asked about that mystery girl who I used to get so hype up over but I lied to him that I didn’t have any feelings for her no more. I didn’t say anything to him when he wanted to know who she was. I couldn’t tell him, especially since the person is his girlfriend.

Flashback ends

It’s hard to let Jinah go but I know that I have to.

It’s hard to pretend that everything’s okay around L.Joe and Jinah.

It’s hard to accept the fact that I’ll never be with her.

It’s just why…

Hyung…she’s mine.

She is mines.

I thought that she was mines.

Now she’s yours.

Take care of her L.Joe hyung. Just treat her right, never cheat on her, and never make her cry or else.

Looking at the city of Seoul, I couldn’t help to see how much time flew by. This is it. We were never meant to be Jinah. I guess I have to let my feelings go now.

As I stare at the buildings, a noise came behind me. I didn’t dare to look back because I already know who it was. A hand was place on my shoulder.

“Changjo, what are you doing here?” L.Joe smiles at me and proceed to stand next to me.

I smiled back to him, “Nothing, hyung. I was just looking.”

L.Joe close his eyes and stretches his arms. He open his eyes again and gave me heartwarming smile, “Let’s go downstairs. My wedding’s going to start and I need my best man to be there with me.”

I put my arm around his shoulder and smile back, “Let’s go.”

As we walk I couldn’t help but be happy for L.Joe. I’m positive that he’ll treat Jinah right. He’s my best friend after all and I know him best.

I smiled and look at the sky one final time before heading downstairs with L.Joe.

*I am happy for you both L.Joe and Jinah.*

*Hyung…She’s Yours.*