"Do you remember that last autumn, when the leaves were falling out there, and I fell for you?

How I was unstable, and you made ​​me even more unstable, even making everything seem easier, but I did not complain even a minute, because it was you. Just as the strong wind blowing that evening, you blew all the bad things that once existed in me, and I finally got to be so happy in such a short time.

It was never my intention to kiss you, it was never your intention to fall in love, so slowly, but however it may seem strange, so quickly at the same time.

Even when I said those so hard and cold words, it was never my intention to hurt you, and I could never even think of hurting you, you meant and still mean a lot to me. You were the only one who could still see that there were still good things in me even if no one did."

He looked at the distant eyes of the other. Those eyes that once were so much happier, and have always had one thing, that one thing only he had and that made him so special, so unique.

Lightly his hands, taking so much care, because he was afraid that those hands could break at any moment.

If he could he would keep him forever, forever with him... He wanted to believe, but the silence that once was so comforting, seemed to be louder than ever in their heads, between them.

"You should live your life, live it happy."

His voice was weak, but still kept the same sweetness as always. It was so difficult. But he had to keep that smile, that smile that always gave strength to the other.

"You do not have to wonder what's the reason to all of this. Just go."

Those were the words that left his mouth, but it was not the words that were inserted inside him. He was terrified. He wanted so much all of that was just a bad dream. But he didn't show it. He had to be strong for both of them.

The hands that once were so hot, they were colder than ever, but still kept the same softness, the same soft touch, just the way he was, always ensuring that everything was fine when deep down they knew that nothing was well, at least not anymore.

 

~

 

"Even when you told me to forget you. I could never do that. Memories of you, of us, always came tormenting my head. Even when I tried to hate you, I could never do that also, I was weak; I was always back to you. But you know? I do not regret. Not at all."

True feelings as those happened only once in a lifetime, that even so different opinions agreed in that aspect. Giving up was an impossible task. Impossible and tiresome task.

It was hard to say anything. It was difficult to choose the right words. Everything seemed fragile, falling.

 

~

 

“Tell me it’s not the truth. Tell me you’re lying to me!”

“… I can’t.”

“You are a cruel bastard.”

“…Sorry…”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You have to.”

“Please.”

“I wish it all was just a nightmare. But I have to tell you this is not.”

“Why did you lie to me? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin it. Ruin everything. Ruin us.”

“Shut up… I hate you!”

“This is better like this… I guess…”

“…T-This is not…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so afraid.”

“Me too.”

Those hands never seemed as safe and soothing as that night. Maybe that would cause their fear to go away, but it was still there making them shiver, though from that moment on, it would not be quite so hard, because they had each other, they always knew that.

 

“I love you.”

“Me too… I love you.”

“Thank you…”

“…”

 

The silence took over that room. Outside the sun no longer shone. It was dark and scary, and the rain fell relentlessly, drenching everything.

And there in that room, in that bed, their eyes were watery as well.

But not like the rain that was falling outside non stopping, their tears soon ceased, because the two fell asleep in each other's arms.

 

~

 

“No. Don’t ever say that. Never say it’s for me to forget you. Don’t think about those things. Because I won’t.”

Words were getting heavier. But they were needed.

Words were getting weaker. But they were needed.

“You know… I… always believed that we could be. Even if I tried to hide at first… but… You…”

It was hard letting go. Letting go of someone that means so much. Someone that wasn’t supposed to go so early. Life was unfair, he thought. And he couldn’t accept it. He couldn’t let him go. Never. And it hurt so much.

 

~

 

“Go on.” I can’t even say those words properly, how can I want him to follow what I say.

“I can’t.” Why is he asking me that? I can’t do it. He’s so selfish.

“Aren’t you afraid?” It was a stupid question.

“Of course I am. How can you even ask me that?” I tried to sound angry, but I’m lame. I can’t even be angry at him. It would be so much easier.

“You never changed…”

“I could say the same…”

 

~

 

It was late night, and he woke up seeing that the first snowflakes were falling. It was such a beautiful scene. He wondered if he would ever being able to see that again. The fear wasn’t there anymore, but the hand holding his, never went away, and they wouldn’t. Never.

It was funny that in a moment like that, everything came back to his mind. Since the first time they met, until those hard times. But if he looked behind, he could definitely say it all worth it. All the fights, all the laughs, all the kisses, every single thing.

He never believed such an amazing and perfect person would make his world turn upside down. And he laughed, a weak laugh, that probably no one heard. And he was so happy.

He called out with the remaining strength he had.

“Sunggyu hyung…”

Sunggyu woke up feeling dizzy. He didn’t know what time was that, he just knew he slep a lot, and he felt like while he was sleeping, he was wasting time.

And time was such a precious thing in that moment. And time was bitter than anything else too.

“Hmmm Woohyun-ah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He somehow knew. He knew.

Woohyun gave out a small smile.

Sunggyu’s eyes flooded with tears.

“Be happy.”

Then Woohyun closed his eyes. The hand holding his was still there.

 

~

 

“Woohyun-ah… It’s been a while…” To come back there was still difficult for him, but it comforted him.

“I’m trying to do what you told me to. But it’s being hard. You bad guy, how can you ask me to be happy if you’re not here?” Sunggyu never quite knew how to use words, but when he talked to Woohyun, they came naturally.

“Well… I’m trying my best anyways… Like you always said, I’m the best when I try my best, hmm?”

Sunggyu paused, but the answer never came, so he continued talking.

“I’m going back to work tomorrow… Isn’t it great?” He smiled softly. It was as if he knew Woohyun would be smiling too.

“I’m trying to make all the things you asked me… But… you know… The only thing I’m never going to do is forgetting you… I’m sorry but that’s impossible.”

Sunggyu caressed the grass under his fingers.

“I just hope the day we meet again come fast. I'll be living well until there.” Sunggyu’s eyes were stubborn just like him, and they insisted to let the tears fall.

“I guess I’ll be going now, Woohyun-ah… What I said to you the last time we talked didn’t change a single bit. I love you… And… I miss you…”

 

Just like the first time they met, and the time when they fell in love, the leaves were falling down.

Sunggyu looked back one more time.

And one more tear fell down his face.

 

END.

 

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yep. it was only slightly more than 1000 words, but I hope you enjoyed. 

thank you very much for reading~ ♥

to be honest, I cried a little while writing this... ;; i'm like this

omg i forgot to uncheck the 'hide chapter' thing LOL