“Hyung!” the younger screamed, annoyance shooting up his eyes as it rolled back. Niel was ‘preoccupied’. Again. “Uh..uh. Changjo ya. Why? What’s up?” Niel answered, his eyes unable to leave his phone as he spoke gently. The latter growled silently as he took a seat beside the tall, brown haired boy and gulped his Americano like it was plain water. Niel was still not paying attention.

“What’cha doing?” Changjo asked, sounding as cynical as possible.

“Uh… Not much. Just…” the words turned into silence, making the angry maknae furious. Changjo sighed painfully, hot breath streaming out of his lips as he wiped beads of sweat on his forehead. The weather was ridiculously hot this time and the fact that niel was ignoring him did not help lower the rising temperature in his head. Changjo was heating up like madfire. Damn, He whispered annoyingly as he sat quietly beside Niel like a good boy. Giving up, the young man folded his arms on the table and laid down. His eyes shut tight from the summer heat and his hair slightly damp. Slowly he drifted into sleep, a result from their endless promotion day in and day out.

Niel paused, placed his phone down and took a peak at the sleeping maknae. How his slow, even breath sounded sweet and his long black eyelashes poking his fair skin was so cute. The elder smiled sweetly as he ran his cold fingers along Changjo’s forehead to wipe the little sweats. That moment, Changjo looked like the most precious thing on earth and Niel felt like he could watch the latter sleep forever. “Poor boy, you’re so exhausted. Bet you don't even remember that its almost your birthday.”

Niel took his phone and stared at a picture of a cool looking black sneakers with gold plated base on its lower parts. “Hmm, this would suit you so good.” His gentle smile grew into bright grin, excitement colouring his cheeks as he looked back at Changjo. “The best gift ever…” whispered the young man as he sat there and waited for the black haired latter to wake up. The studio gradually grew cooler and slowly, Niel could feel his eyelids becoming heavy.  Before he knew it, he was fast asleep as well beside the most precious boy on earth.

The new day started without a schedule. Changjo was still wrapped up in his bed, too sleepy to move and wake up. But it was good, it was a chance, figured Ahn Daniel as he crept up to the front door and scrambled for the latter’s shoes. It wasn’t there. “No. This couldn’t be. I need to know his size. Why isn’t it here?!” his eyes widened even more as he hastily opened the cupboards and searched for Changjo’s shoes. Time was running up, worse was that he was loud enough to wake the boy too.

“What the hell. Shut up!” screamed the youngest from his bed. Niel froze, his prickling spine freezing with anxiousness, as he grew annoyed. Where is it honestly! Then, he saw Ljoe who seemed to have been awake for quite sometime. Feeling helpless, he turned to the smaller and bluntly asked,

“Ljoe hyung, where are Changjo’s shoe?! Why is it gone?” he pleaded, desperation painting over his light voice.

Ljoe was surprised, but not overwhelmed. The elder understood immediately and without a second of hesitance, he spoke. “Ahh, I don’t think he brought much shoes. His sister came to visit a few nights ago and took most of his clothes. I think he still had a pair though…” said the small, honest hyung as he poured milk into his glass and waited for Niel to answer before he could swallow it down. “Its not there…” sighed the latter.

“Wait. Ahh… I know. I think Ricky borrowed it. Its a pair of black vans right?” Ljoe asked, finally able to drink his daily milk. “Yeah, black vans…” Niel sighed again, sitting down on the stool looking completely disappointed. Ljoe smiled at the younger and lightly patted his shoulder. “Aigoo, don’t worry. Ricky will be back. You can check the size later.” said the calm, short, older young man. “Okay.” Niel mumbled, when he suddenly realised that his plan was busted. “Wait. Hyung. Yo..You knew?”

“Oh gosh Anh Daniel. You’re so obvious, anyone would know. Except your boyfriend of course. He’s an idiot.” laughed Ljoe as he opened Chunji’s door and walked inside.

Hearing it, Niel sniffed mindlessly and stood still in the middle of the living room. Yes, their promotion was over and so, they were allowed to go back home. Home. Changjo’s home was the furthest and so, just like that, he stood there contemplating over his life. “Morning hyung.” Changjo walked out with the comforter still hanging from his shoulders. And gently, slightly stumbling, he walked over to Niel and pulled the elder into a big, happy back hug. A smile was painted clearly on Changjo’s face as he adored the feeling of Niel being in his arms. “Morning.” said Niel, unable to move from the tight hug and the comforter wrapped around his waist. It felt warm. It felt good.

“Lets just stay home. I’ve downloaded an awesome horror story.” Mumbled Changjo, his face digging into Niel’s shoulders. Niel squirmed slightly, tickled by the latter’s breath on his neck.

“You know I don’t watch horror right?” Niel laughed as he kept trying to escape the latter’s bear hug. “I'm sorry Jonghyun but i have work today. How about tonight huh?” asked the tall latter. Changjo let go abruptly, letting the sheet fall onto the floor. He was clearly upset, pouting like a kid and walking back into his room and slamming the door. Niel sighed again, his day was going to be pretty rough.

"Why won’t he spend time with me?” Changjo grumbled, snatching Ricky’s comforter from the cupboard and wrapping himself again. The weather was starting to get cold at night and in the morning; his nose was all runny each time he woke up. “Its not like i can go out too.” he mumbled, laying down as he remembered his shoes being worn by Ricky. Actually he wanted to go out and have a date outside with Niel, but Ricky was so desperate, he did not have the heart to reject his best friend’s favour. Only, he was the one suffering afterwards. “Niel hyung…” called the youngest as he brought the comforter over his face.

The sale assistant looked up to Niel, her lips pursing and her brown drawn brow furrowed with confusion. “So you want to buy this shoe as a gift, but you don’t know his size?” she asked in disbelief. Niel nodded, agreeing to her statement shyly as he poked the black Jordan sneaker. “Look sir, I can’t help you if you don’t have the correct measurements. I only sell this to serious buyers, and since its limited edition, its running out pretty fast.” she explained sympathetically.

“Okay, give me a minute.” Taking out his phone, the tall young man breathed in slowly as he started to dial a very familiar number. Their stylist. The phone rang for a few minutes and suddenly; a raspy male voice had answered the phone. It threw Niel of the ground. “Hello?! What the…. Who is this?” he asked firmly, however still quite surprised. The man answered after a few silent seconds. “Its me XXXX, the manager.” 

“Oh hyung! I need to speak with the stylist noona.” he rushed. “Sorry Niel-ah. She won’t talk to you after what happened. I mean, how could you reject her like that.” Niel sighed, rubbing his forehead as he turned from left to right in a rhythmic pattern. “Look hyung, I was not interested. That’s all. Now. I have important matter to discuss.” he insisted, lowering his voice to sound more serious. “Nope. She just refuses to talk man. Sorry.” *BEEP* the connection was cut. Niel was immensely frustrated. He stomped back to the sale assistant and pleaded for her help. “Please isn’t there anything i or you can do?” he pleaded, his round eyes all dewy and puppy looking. The sales assistant was a very professional worker but in the end, his charms had slowly rusted her good ethics.

“Okay, okay. I need you to pay the deposit first as proof that you want this shoe. I’ll give you my number, and immediately, i mean it sir. IMMEDIATELY, contact me and i’ll save you a pair okay?” she explained, her voice sounding firm but defeated.

“Okay!” He jumped; handing her his phone like it was just a toy. Deep in his mind, he was pretty worried; privacy was crucial to maintain a safety lifestyle. He was not the type that would just hand someone his number knowing how popular he was in the group. “Okay, i’ve put my number.” said the young lady. “Great! I’ll contact you later.”

But it had to be done.

Changjo was on the couch. There were popcorns and his comforter too. He was prepared, then the door creaked slowly behind him signing that someone was home. Niel. His eyes grew bright as he turn back and peaked at the door, indeed it was Niel. But the latter had looked different. It was not the guy Changjo used to see and that sight made his tummy curl. “Hyung?” he called gently. Niel looked up from the floor, finally making contact with the younger but he would not speak. He lift his eyes and made the slightest smile as he walked lifelessly into his room. Just when Changjo was about to get furious, he saw the little scratches and tears on the latter’s shirt. And he knew exactly where that came from. Sasaengs.

His breath hitched as he stood up and leaned beside the door. He listened carefully from the tiny noises, indicating that the latter was going into the shower. His eyes grew red with anger, frustration and most of all regret. He should have been there.

A few minutes after, Ricky came back home with the biggest smile on his face. He was exhausted from the musical training and he just wanted to sleep. The manager had to guide the young man into his room as he refuses to open his eyes. Changjo stood straight and stormed into his room. He watched his manager lay Ricky down and slowly, not to wake the other boy, he spoke “Hyung. I need to speak with you.” His voice was low, but ground shatteringly scary. Like a low growl of a raging wild bear.

“So Niel had no schedule?” he asked again. His eyes were now larger than ever. “ Yes! Come on Jonghyun, the company would have never let him go to work alone. I wouldn’t dare! You know that right?!” he screamed slightly, getting shuhed by Changjo who did not want to wake up the others. Changjo immediately apologised and sent the manager out, his face filled with concern even as he smiled to wave goodbye. Defeated, he went back into his room and crashed on his bed. Ricky who had heard the argument sat up and finally opened his eyes, rubbing them to ease the painful fatigue. “Jonghyun-ah.” he called, his voice was low and tired.

“Go to sleep Changhyun. You’re a zombie.” Changjo grumbled as he turned away. “Thanks for today.” he said sincerely and somehow it managed to lift Changjo’s mood even just a bit. The latter smiled and turned back to face Ricky, his eyes searching for his friend under such darkness. “But on the way back, i saw Niel.”

“Niel? Where?” Changjo’s head lift up with question.

“At the mall today. I don’t know how to say this, but are you guys fighting?” Ricky asked carefully. Changjo was surprised at such a question and slowly he sat up and leaned on the head of the bed. “No…we’re fine. Why?” he answered and asked, the scariest question he had ever asked. “Well, I saw him exchange number with a pretty sales assistant at that store you used to go.” Ricky explained, waiting for a response but receiving non. “He looked pretty happy too. Like smiley and jumpy. I don’t know Jonghyun, maybe you two need to talk.” Changjo nodded as his head filled out all the missing puzzles. A drizzle of tear escaped his eyelids as he tried to go to sleep, but deep down he knows too well. There would be no sleep that night.

The next morning, he was still on the bed with covers above his face but had not been sleeping at all. He blinked mindlessly as he popped his cold knuckles and sniffed annoyingly. His nose was extra runny. 

He could hear s talking and having breakfast, but he had no plans on leaving the bed. He did not want to see Niel or anyone. He just wanted to sleep. Then he heard Niel.

The young buff man sat up, brushed his hair with his fingers and drank a glass of water and dashed outside. Apparently, his concern was much bigger than his pride. “Oh! The maknae has awoken.” teased Chunji as Changjo rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. Then, naturally Niel came and sat down beside him. The elder looked fine but seemed exhausted. “Aigoo.” He sighed as he leaned his head on Changjo’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Changjo could not help but to turn away, the disappointment in his heart was like a bruise being pressed. Niel then slowly, crept his hand to Changjo’s hand and smiled, he said “I missed you. Lets just stay home today.”

They were the exact words that Changjo had said yesterday and though it sounded sweet, it was like pouring acid on his wounds. Still, he did not want to end it just yet. “Uhm hyung. Lets do that.” he smiled but inside, his heart was bleeding profusely. It was painful. “I’m washing up first.”

“Okay.” Niel sat up and watched the latter walk away. Then, like a lighting, he was already by the front door scrambling for the latter’s shoes. It was there. He breathed out sharply, relief filling every gap of his chest as he took the measurements. 260 millimetres. He grinned gladly as he texted the sales assistant and walked inside, still waiting for her response. He held the phone dearly, waiting and waiting as he failed to see Changjo watching him by the side of bathroom. Ljoe who saw how Changjo looked immediately threw a tissue at Niel’s face and pointed at the youngest. Confused, Niel turned back and to his surprise, Changjo’s face was beyond his understanding. Disappointment and despair was written clearly all over the young man’s face. Changjo snickered and turned away, walking into the bathroom coldly. “Wha..” exclaimed the tall man as he looked at Ljoe who was shaking his head, just as clueless as he was.

Then his phone vibrated, and he opened the message. “I’m sorry sir but we’re out of stocks. ㅜㅜ” His mouth opened wide as his jaws trembled with dejection. “No..” he said sharply as he stormed into his room and wore his shirt, scrunched his hair back with a snapback and walked out dialling the sales assistant. “Where are you going?” asked Changjo coldly who was out from the shower wearing just a towel wrapped on his waist. “Hyung!” his voice rose higher and sounded harsher than ever. Niel grunted and stared at the younger with annoyance and spoke out of anger, “I have work to do! For god sake Jonghyun, calm down.” Then he walked outside, regretting everything that he had said.

He was exhausted; he bent down and held onto his knees as he breathed slow to calm down. His eyes grew red and painful from tears and before they could spill, he wore his sunnies and strode back to the store.

“I’m so sorry sir. But somehow, an online tv came to our store and showcased the shoe. I couldn’t do anything. Your text came in too late. Many had ordered the shoe online, so there was nothing i could do. I really tried but there…” she kept repeating her words, guilt filling her pretty eyes as Niel cut her off. “Its okay.” He sounded exhausted and defeated. “ We can return your deposit and maybe there’s another type that you might like?” she spoke kindly. “No, this one was the one he had wanted for a long time. We never had the time to buy it except now.”

“Look, i’ll try to find another way. There is a new store opening in Ilsan so maybe there’s stock.” said the lady looking very determined. Niel broke into a smile as he felt like there was hope. “Yes please do.” he said. “Okay, I’ll do my best!” she held up her hand and did the FIGHTING gesture as Niel mirrored her happily. “I’ll contact you by tonight and inform you if there are any news.”

Niel rushed home, his mind calm and undisturbed as he figured out plans on how to make amends to Changjo. Flowers? Coffee? Snuggle? Secret gift ;) ? His cheeks blushed brightly as his imagination made he so flustered, he had to squat down and cup his hot cheeks before he continued walking. Whatever, he snapped. He was too mustered over his thoughts that he did not even realise he had reached home. He opened the door nervously, walking inside empty handed as he searched for the youngest through every opened doors. “There you are.” Niel whispered, a gentle smile spreading across his face when he saw Changjo lying on his back with his feet leaning up on the wall.

The young man was taking weird selcas again, filling Angel’s timeline with his alien language and weird derps. “Ya!” screamed the taller as the latter shook with surprise while the silver Iphone flipped down to the mattress. A loud, sharp hiss escaped Changjo’s lips as he glared at Niel annoyingly and then looking back at his phone, he carefully inspected it for any damage.

“My precious baby. Oppa got you.” he cried as he flipped it front, back and front again. “Aigoo, stop looking at your expensive phone and give me some space to sleep.” demanded Niel as he lay down beside the latter and forced his head on top of Changjo’s belly. Niel grinned; looking completely satisfied as he watched Changjo’s face grew darker with rage and annoyance. Actually the older was quite scared, but he refused to give up and turned the other way. Placing his arms above his eyes, he tried to sleep when,

“Ahn Daniel, are you not getting off?” asked the younger coldly.

“Nope. I’m tired.” Niel answered shortly, the tremble in his voice tucked away by his determination. “From what? Work?” Changjo asked. Niel could as if see the latter’s cold, intense gaze piercing through his skin and flesh. “Yep.” he answered again. His hand locked above his eyes as he averted his mind to something else than Changjo’s boiling anger. “Get off.” Changjo ordered compassionless.

Hearing such loveless and heartless instruction, Niel had no choice but to comply. Sighing deeply, he sat up as he watched Changjo stood up abruptly and walked out. He followed the boy like a lost puppy, maintaining safe distance but never looking away. Emotions were pressing out of his eyelids and tight chest, every move Changjo made felt like needles forcing him to burst out into tears. But he stayed strong, watching silently as Changjo treated him like a ghost. The young boy would occasionally bump eyes with Niel but like pro, he would brush it off like it was nothing. After two hours of awkward silence in the dorm, Chunji who grew sick of the silent bicker shrieked loudly. “GET A ROOM AND SETTLE THIS YOU TWO!!!” Changjo managed to sneak a death stare towards Chunji before he walked into the bedroom and waited for Niel. He was in fact, beyond furious. He was in rage.

Niel on the other hand was growing pretty angry from the attitude he kept receiving and soon enough, the fearful nervousness disappeared silently. He stood behind the door and locked it firmly. His eyes were darker as he waited for Changjo to speak. But still, not a word. Then slowly, the anger inside Niel subsided as they sat facing walls for hours, allowing silence to fill the room. “Changjo-ya, what wrong?” Niel asked, finally able to burn his pride and initiated the conversation. Even so, Changjo stayed silent. It was as if, he was stalling, wasting time and keeping it to himself.

But their injured relationship had suffocated Niel and so, the elder asked again and again. Finally the youngest responded. “This sounds so needy hyung, but i’ll say it if i have to.” He explained, tossing questions into his boyfriend’s mind and keeping him quiet with confusion. “Do you seriously love me? Or would you like this to be over? Because I can’t live without any answers, so i’ll say this. I’ll work harder and be better.” Tears rimmed Changjo’s eyes like beads of crystal while his veins bulged painfully, portraying such excruciation over a few simple sentences. Niel however, was in a world of confusion. What went so wrong that they had come to such a place where pain was the only thing running under their veins? “No..” Niel answered desperately, this time letting loose of all his pride and letting the tears fall. Why was Changjo hurting so much? “What…What did i do?” he stuttered and choked as he wiped Changjo’s spilling tears.

“I can’t handle this well right now but… but if you give me time, i’ll do a lot better. i’ll stop getting angry at you and snapping at you, just…” Changjo’s words died into silence as he wiped his own tears and gently push away the elder’s hand out of embarrassment. “Jonghyun-ah…” Niel called dearly, his hands refusing to leave the latter’s supple cheeks and wiping them dry. “Jong…” before he could finish the name, Niel’s phone rang and it showed a very urgent caller. Niel hesitated for a moment but when he remembered the face Changjo made when he saw the  shoe in Japan a few months ago, he picked it up and stood in  the corner of the room.

Changjo looked devastated when he answered the call, but Niel was convinced that the shoe could make it up for him and so he ignored the latter and spoke. “Hello?” his hand however was gesturing desperately to Changjo, pleading the latter to give him a few minutes. But Changjo was too upset. The youngest walked out and slammed the door as hard as he could, shaking every bone in Niel’s body. “Changjo!”

“He..Hello?” the salesgirl spoke timidly. “Yes. please, do speak.” begged Niel as he stormed out of the room to chase over the latter when her words froze his steps. “ITS HERE! I HAVE IT WITH ME RIGHT NOW!” she shrieked excitedly over the phone, shooting the latter with bombs of hope and gladness. Niel was already out of their house and so, like it was a summon, he walked the opposite way and ran over to the store to pick up the shoe. He went there as fast as he could, running at full speed and catching a cab and running again just so that he could reach the store quicker. When he made it, the salesgirl was holding it in her arms and it felt like he had reached the finish line of a never-ending marathon.

And unconsciously he took the shoe into his arms along with the young lady. Hugging her with the black pair of Jordan sneakers pressed on his cheeks while he laughed gladly. “Excuse me…” she barely breathed as she felt her ribs almost bursting from such a strong squeeze. Niel let go immediately, blushing slightly from his mistake and smiling shyly as he tried to stay calm. “Okay, now i need to go and give this to someone!” said Niel as he handed her a thick packet filled with cash.  Then he turned around to start his journey back home to Changjo when his big round eyes grew bigger while his steps grew dead.

Changjo was already there.

His eyes were red, tears stained and beyond disappointed. Traces of thick envy painted all over the man’s face as he pulled one of the rings he wore and threw it on the floor. A disgusted smirk peeled out of his face as sickening sneer escaped his lips, “Hyung, we’re done.”  And just like that, Changjo walked away; stepping on their couple rings like it was trash and never looking back. Niel could not breathe; his gapped lips did not help at all. No. There was no oxygen when he saw Changjo leave. Like all the air he needed had followed the latter and left him to die.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Niel screamed. Frustration was at its peak as he threw the shoe at Changjo, hitting the young man’s back and successfully stopping him from going any further. “ITS YOUR BLOODY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW YOU KNOW!” he screamed again, this time dashing towards the younger latter and throwing Changjo down to the floor. Then swiftly, he sat on top of the latter and grabbed his collar.  Changjo was always the stronger one but somehow, he had no strength over Niel’s erupting wrath. He had never seen this side of Niel before. The crazy-eyes, the flipping hair, everything down to how red his knuckles were; this side of Niel definitely scared Changjo like hell. “Wait., h..hyung” Changjo pleaded, fear painting over his face as he held Niel’s arm for dear life. “DON'T YOU HYUNG ME! 260 MILLIMETRES… DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THESE DAYS, YOU BASTARD?!!” Niel growled, shoving the black sneaker onto the latter’s face.

“This…this right here. I thought if i bought it, then it would make you happy.” Niel’s voice started to falter as he dropped the pair of sneakers and hunched down. Tears dripped painfully from his eyes as he sobbed silently on top of his boyfriend. All eyes were on them but Niel was to overwhelm to care. “You bloody idiot.” he cried as he moved to the side, sitting on the floor hopelessly. Then, like a blanket of warmth, Changjo threw his arms over the elder and pulled Niel into the warmest hug ever.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” Chanted the younger as he rubbed Niel’s back and calmed the taller down. “I was wrong. I’m sorry.” Changjo whispered gently as he sat there with Niel leaning over his chest for hours.

“So… this was your surprise?” Changjo asked, his thick black brows raising high and mighty while a mischievous smirk escaped his feigned seriousness. Niel growled; snatching the black pair of Jordans and slamming it on the table. “I'm sorry hyung, but lets not do another surprise after this okay?” he teased, taking back the shoe and staring at it more lovingly than when he looked at Niel. “Ugh whatever. Go get married with your stupid shoe!” mocked the elder as he stood up from the sofa and turned away. But before he could take the first step, a very familiar, strong grip pulled him down and forced him to fall on top of Changjo’s lap. “Let me go Jonghyun!” shrieked the taller as he tried to get away. Changjo easily held him down; then looking straight into his eyes, the younger whispered ily. “You know this is just a cherry on top of my cake right? Ahn Daniel, you’re the main course.”

Niel could feel the blood rushing all the way to his cheeks as he watched Changjo lean down for a kiss helplessly. But when their lips met, everything became a blur. It was going to be a long night indeed.