Looking back on 5 years, I never thought that I’ll be reaching this far. It was a long and tiring journey and I had seriously thought of giving up. But what I saw today, made me happy to choose fight over flight.

My dear 5 shining boys whom I took care of, 5 young and grave souls with determined hearts and brilliant dreams, I can never explain it in words how much you’ve made me proud.

I was reluctant at first, to transition into 5 kids after handling TVXQ and CJSH, but a job is a job and I live to work. I saw five young lads with dreams and aspirations: A leader who was as clumsy as a toddler, a vocalist a bit short in height, a middle bridge whose gender seems to be at the middle as well, a visual who lacks in the singing department and a maknae who most probably too young to handle a 22 hr work schedule. I shook my head and tried to focus, but truthfully, I didn’t know if it’ll work.

“Hey Jin, it’s not like they are a bunch of talentless idols, they have good vocals and perfect visuals.” I remember Junghoon’s words as we sat down to discuss the promotions for the group’s debut; I asked him for help since I knew Super Junior was picking up popularity by that time. “I’m sure the boys would love to help out their saengs. Look at Donghae being protective over Minh, and how Yesung would coach Jonghyun. I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Junghoon assured me back then but still. I am worried.

“SHINee?” I looked at the group name and the board raised their eyebrows inquisitively at me. “Any problems Mr. Choi?” One asked and I shook my head. “It’s fitting; they’ll shine like precious diamonds.” I said nervously, trying to convince myself that they’ll live up to their names.

They debuted with a preppy and cute look, something that captured Noona hearts in the process. They moved on with songs about cheating and then to their Juliet. It was like the boys were an experimental group like their seniors, like Super Junior whose number became both an asset and liability. They won apparently and though I just gave each a warm hug and congratulated them; inside I was jumping for joy and throwing my fist high in the air. My freaking boys won!

The turn of events was all blurry and for the most part, it was all good. 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011.. They were all good with varying ups and downs but SHINee became a popular household name. The fanclub was amazing and Shawols were really good people but some goes beyond the norms so I was forced to do things I should never do. But persistent fans wouldn’t learn. For the sake of my boys, I did grave sins.

2012 was the most painful for me as their manager, when the glitters were fading and the bright lights were slowly shutting off. Onew cave in to his depression and as his hyung, I was deeply ashamed for lacking. I wasn’t able to protect him from the evil clutches of the management. I wasn’t able to protect my boys from the one sided and financially corrupted minds of the board; they think that numbers and visuals were the only way to make the cash flow but they are wrong.

“They are seriously pissing me off!” I ranted over to Junghoon. “Same here.” Junghoon raised his beer. “Yeah, packaging talentless kids to be the next Super Junior. What the heck?” I answered bitterly. “And apparently you are more affected than me. Seunghwan has been transferred to manage the group’s activities.” Junghoon stated and I sighed. “But when I was transferred to SHINee, there was never the intention to brand the kids as the next TVXQ” I replied and Junghoon nodded. “true.. but the management are people. Not even recognizing the efforts and not to mention the cash my boys and yours brought them.” Junghoon then sighed. “They won’t bring my boys down… will fight for them.” I said with affirmation and Junghoon smiled widely. “Great. How about we showcase Taemin with Henry?” Junghoon suggested and I was glad he came up with that suggestion. “Great. But I must give my boys a proper Korean comeback and show them the power of SHINee.” I concluded and we cheered for our boys.

“Jonghyun!!!” I screamed loudly and the boy on the bed squirmed as he heard the noise. “Sorry hyung.” He said in his deepest and sincerest apology. “Stupid! You could’ve died. We’ll re record Why so serious for the comeback and shoot the video with four. SHINee can still do promotions as four members. Shawols will understand. In the meantime focus on recovering then maybe you can join them later on. And I mean it Jonghyun. REST.” I said then left the room immediately, not because I hated his guts but because I couldn’t cry in front of him, I would look like a pathetic older brother who is quite the opposite of my image.

“The what?! They will perform with my boys? Why can’t they mind their own live stage and just keep this moment for my boys to enjoy? It’s a SHINee stage not a SHINee featuring EXO stage because we need to promote the newbie stage!” I screamed loudly at the persons inside the meeting room. “We have decided to this, the fans will love it!” One of the boards said. “The immature fans would say that their EXO oppas can overthrow SHINee since the group can sing their sunbae’s songs and Shawols would just say that EXO lack the vocals and stage presence SHINee has. You are seriously injecting too much politics in this performance and by doing so; you are fueling the immature minds of fans that even though their idols just debuted, they are better than their seniors who worked their asses off for several years.” I debated but the board shook their heads. “It’s been decided, bear with it.” I felt defeated as I walked out of the room. Damn agency, overlooking the brilliance of my dear boys. “Heck, you promote SHInee because you need more cash flow. Serves you right for investing on too many idols that are lacking.” I said out of frustration but composed myself before I broke the news to the boys.

“hyung!” The 5 voices rhymed in perfect harmony, like a practiced choir of angels and effectively stopping the thoughts I was thinking just now. “yes?” I said, trying to suppress the surge of emotions at that moment. The five boys stood there staring at us, me, Gyuengshik and the rest of the staff, their eyes were wet with tears, eye makeup almost smudged and lips quivering. “Kamasamida!” The five said in unison as they bowed in front of us. It lasted like an eternity and we can hear their sobs, apparently Jonghyun was like a real puppy when he cries, a loud whining puppy. “Kamsamida” they repeated, still bowing in front of everyone.

I was utterly shocked; the scene was tugging on my heartstrings. I took one step and approached the man in the middle, the golden boy of the group. I patted his shoulder and made him face me. He was quietly sobbing, tears flowing down his cheeks in a stream. “Good Work. I’m proud of you. All of you.” I said as I hugged the leader. I did the same to each member and soon, they were enveloping me in a group hug. “Hyung Kamsamida” They said united and I smiled at them. “Kamsamida.” I replied, shedding my own tears with the rest of the boys.

I never told them how much they mean to me, how much I love them and how I considered them as my sons. I never told them how great each live stage that they perform and how they were constantly improving themselves. I never told them how lucky I am to be handling them, the five boys who were never afraid to step up their game and push their selves and exceed their limits. I never told them that the company didn’t believe they’ll make it this far, but then again they also said that with Super Junior and look at where the boys are. I never told them how I almost punched the board for neglecting the budget proposals for Shinee’s comeback, and how Junghoon and I were plotting against the management because of the unfair treatment to our boys. I never told them how I would rant on the rooftop with Junghoon when the management insisted on putting a few members of the new group to perform a song or two just to ‘discreetly’ promote the newbies. I never told them that If I had 5 sons, I’ll name them Jinki, Jonghyun, Kibum, Minho and Taemin, and If I did have 5 sons, I’ll ask them to be the godfathers.

As I looked at the faces of these five shining boys: The leader with a famous sangtae and best smile, the short playful puppy who astound everyone with his voice, the fashionista and Diva whose gender I questioned no more, the visual, whom like his camera, captures and portrays true beauty, and the maknae who had proven his talents to everyone, I can’t help but be proud, because no one knew how hard they worked their asses off to entertain everyone. No one knew them but me and my team… No one knew SHINee like we do.

And I can’t say this enough, I am very proud of my five Shining boys; we will always shine together.

a/n: Okay… I know there are some not so friendly comments in there… It’s my personal opinion. I am not bashing the artist.. Just pissed with the management.. this is my opinion and clearly does not represent that of the characters, management, or even the whole fandom.