“What happened to us, Jongdae?”

He doesn’t reply and looks at the snow storm get worse and worse. The weather is insanely cold, yet, a drop of sweat rolls down Jongdae’s temple, who keeps looking at the white blanket covering the streets, only getting thicker and thicker. Junmyeon’s eyes are on Jongdae, still waiting for an answer he knows he won’t get.

“I am---“

“Sorry?” Jongdae snickers, “I think it’s way too late for that, Junmyeon-sshi”

Junmyeon’s body tenses after hearing the last word.

Junmyeon-sshi. It wouldn’t seem anything unusual to anyone passing by their table at the coffee shop and coincidentally hearing their conversation, perhaps, it wouldn’t even matter. But for Junmyeon, those words cut onto his heart, sharp as knives, only making the wound deeper.

“You should call me Hyung, like you used to”

Jongdae turns from the window for the first time since they sat down and gazes at Junmyeon, who’s eyes look completely dull and clouded. Jongdae’s stare is so cold, Junmyeon feels a shiver go down his spine.

“Look, I’m only here with you because I have no choice, if I had, I would rather being anywhere in the world than being here sitting at the same table with you. I just want to make that clear and I hope you get it.”

Junmyeon looks down at the empty cup of coffee in front of him and notices Jongdae looking at the window again, gazing into the distance, yet, not really. He knew he was looking at him through the reflection in the window.

Jongdae’s words could be way too harsh sometimes and he never seems to realize how much he can hurt people, but this time, Junmyeon knows he meant it. He meant to hurt him deeply and he knows he deserves it. But still, this is more of what he can handle. He can’t take Jongdae’s harsh words anymore, all he wants is to hold him in his arms again, kiss him and tell him he’s sorry. He wants Jongdae to look away shyly every time Junmyeon laughs at his jokes. He wants to make up to him for the 5 years he was gone, he wants everything to go back to what it was before he left.

“Call me Hyung”

“No”

“It’s an order... from your boss”

Jongdae slams his fist on the table, startling everyone in the coffee shop including Junmyeon.

“Are you ing kidding me? I’m not doing this anymore, I don’t even know why I agreed to sit here with you. See you tomorrow”

Jongdae stands up and leaves the coffee shop as fast as the wind, even if the snow storm hasn’t stopped.

Everything seems so blurry all of a sudden that Junmyeon has to close his eyes to get rid of that feeling.

Bile rises in his chest, burning his throat, making everything worst. He knows he deserves this and he was probably a bit too stupid to even think that everything would be okay after disappearing for five years and then suddenly encountering your (ex) boyfriend working in the same office as you, as your subordinate. Every time he remembers he feels like , but he knows it’s all his fault, and that the only man he’s ever loved, will probably never forgive him.

“You ed up the only chance you had to be happy. To be happy for real... how stupid,” he mutters to himself as he silently cries into his empty cup of coffee.