The next chapter will be about their past, how they lost in their choice and lost their love. 

Hope you guys won't get confuse about the way I sort the present, past and the future

Thank for reading.

Chapter 2

How they lost in their way?

How I lost you hyung, since when?

Ji Yong is a star, freedom and shine

He is also like the sun that tries hard to shine to cover up his moon

In the beginning, it's like that, always like that

But he is still too young, a seventeen-boy goes to entertainment circle, be famous, become center of attention 

Somehow, he's lost in the crowed

Somehow, he wants to jump higher, reach something newer 

Somehow, just for him.

Seung Ri only has Ji Yong

Ji Yong has many things besides Seung Ri

He knew, but somehow forgets that without Seung Ri, his things still there, but his heart is forever broken

Forever blank

Seung Ri 's PoV

I don't know how did we lost everything, hyung

Since when

I'm the one who push you far away to achieve your dream.

Then you go too far, for me to reach you

Too far away 

"_Seung Ri yah, today I'll stay with you. Where you want to go?

*ring ring ring*

_Hyung ...

_How about go to the amuse park, go to the theater after that and ...

*ring ring ring*

_Hyung ...

_Go to that's restaurant, the BBQ here  so good, but don't eat too much

_HYUNG

Ji Yong turns his head from the newspaper to look at Seung Ri, innocently. "Yes, baby?"

“_You should go to the meeting, it’s important. People keep calling you.”

“_Nope, today’s your birthday. I won’t go anywhere without you” Ji Yong pouts, keeps looking somewhere fun in the newspaper.”

Hyung, Seung Ri place a light kiss on Ji Yong cheeks and smiles. “Just go, I’m okie. We can do that later”

“But”

“No but, just go, hyung”

When is exactly it happens? Too long already

Should I be selfish in the first place?

Should I just hold you tight that our love wouldn’t be broken like that?

I just didn’t want to hurt your career

I just want you can shine as much as you can, for your dream

I just don’t want to be the burden on your way.

I just didn’t know life is that cruel, many things can happens then we lose our love

I didn’t know

Then

Since when

You can't remember when our anniversary is any more

Since when

I can’t be the one who is with you on your birthday anymore

Since when 

On my birthday I'm let my head rest between my knees, then look at a lot of gifts beside me, blankly

“Ah little Seung Hyun. It’s me, your Ji Yong. Sorry I can’t come back today, I’m so sorry but I love you, you know that?

Hope you like my gift. I’ll come back for you very soon.

I love you

Happy birthday

Call me when you receive that message, okie?.”

Hyung

Because I love you, I try to get used to with the darkness, try hard to get used to with the loneliness, without you

I try to handle everything by myself, my sorrow, and my depressed.

I try best that as long as you get home, you can only my smile then you will smile too.

I did try hard but hyung, I’m strong but not that strong.

Though I get used to, I understand, I know

I still want you warm, I miss your embrace, I miss you

I’m falling without you.

“_Seung Ri yah, we love you, but you know, you and him, is just not right, right?

  _Seung Ri yah, he has been taken care of you for a long time. Have you ever think, that he’s tired too?

_You guys are still too young. What if one day he regret?

  _Seung Ri yah, look at that. That’s your Kwon Ji Yong, our Kwon Ji Yong. He’s achieving his dream, and his dream will be brighter without you, Seung Ri.”

“_I love Kwon Ji Yong and I gonna make him realized that he should love a girl, Seung Ri.

You’re just his obsession, his burden

He will realize, sooner or later

In that world, your love is just so vulnerable. You know that?”

Hyung, I’m tired, I’m really tired

Hyung.

I don’t know where is my limitation?

What if I reach mine?

Hyung

The number you has dial is temporary not available. Please call back later or leave the inbox after …

I’m really tired, hyung.

End Seung Ri’s Pov

Seung Ri comes back from school, tiredly enter the house. Recently he also takes a part time job at the coffee shop near the school, that’s why he just ing tired right now.

“Ji Yong wouldn’t allow if he knows about it. However, he just can’t know”

Seung Ri always has trouble with his health. His stomach is sensitive, he easily get hurt if doesn’t eat at right time, or vomit if eat something strange. That’s why Ji Yong has to take care of him one by one.

Used to.

“You’re back?” Ji Yong goes toward him and asks worriedly, “Why is it too late? And where is your phone?”

Seung Ri is still surprise at Ji Yong’s appearance, looks straight to Ji Yong’s eye and check his phone awkwardly. “It’s out of battery hyung, I didn’t know.”

“I did worry about you, Seung Ri yah. Why you come back that late? “

“Aw I just go … somewhere hyung.”  Seung Ri seems like doesn’t want to talk about this any further. Ji Yong sigh hardly, and open his arm “Anyway, give your boyfriend a hug, he’s back”

Seung Ri slowly hugs Ji Yong, rest his chin on Ji Yong shoulder. “When will you leave again?”

Since when your eyes looks that hurt whenever you see me be back, Seung Ri? No more happy, just surprise and hurt.

Since when the first question you ask me is “When will you leave?”

Why didn’t I realize Seung Ri yah

I’m so sorry.

“_I’ll go to Japan early in the morning tomorrow. I miss you, that is why I come back” Ji Yong slightly rub his boyfriend’s back. “Why are you so skinny recently? Eat and sleep right time?”

_Nope, hyung, just study too much then …

_I told you …

_That’s okie,hyung. Don’t worry.”

Ji Yong exhales by his boyfriend’s stubbornly. Recently he’s too busy, well, it’s been around 3 year since he’s busy and somehow he let his baby boyfriend grow up alone. He doesn’t want to at all, but being in this world just too complicated to fight back for freedom.

Seung Ri will understands that. Seung Ri is his precious panda.

After that they have late dinner together. Ji Yong tells him some funny stories about the place that he is working, Seung Ri nods, smile and silently eat his food.

I’m tired hyung.

I’m really tired

But I want to give myself, our love, one more chance.

I just want to create some things that I can lay on

For me to continue

Because I’m tired

“_Hyung, when will you back?”

“_Ah finally you ask that question. I have been waiting, Seung Ri yah." Ji Yong pouts. "I thought you don't care about me any more."

I will come back just two day after that, Thursday morning”

Just on time

“Hyung, can we go to the park in the afternoon? I want to go to that place”

Seung Ri looks at Ji Yong and smile brightly

Actually at that night Ji Yong has a very important party, he just doesn’t know why when he looks deeply in to his boyfriend’s eyes, he can’t say no

He doesn’t dare to.

“Sure, Seung Ri yah. It’s been a while since our last time.”

“Then, 3’ o clock at the main entrance, is it okie Hyung? I’ll come right after finish my class.”

“Yes, I’ll come.”

“I’ll wait, hyung.” Seung Ri smiles doleful

Ji Yong suddenly hugs Seung Ri tight, “Don’t smile like that Seung Ri yah, I’m afraid”

I’m afraid you will disappear if I don’t hold you tight

I’m afraid I will lost you

“I won’t, hyung, Seung Ri hide his face in Ji Yong’s shoulder”

“You will come, right? Promise?”

“I’ll promise.”

Broken.