{  T h e   3 9 ^{t h}  :  T w o  }

 

 

They stared at each other, picturing the moment; a moment between two naivete persons, who had blamed each other for ambiguous thoughts.

 

The woman removed her ring, trying to compel her emotions as she doesn't want to appear weak to his past boyfriend.

 

Same did the man, who held it with his hand tightly. They both gestured the other with a nod, and faced the empty rails of the train station.

 

Both breathed deeply, and they threw their rings far away... with their feelings... and with their love for each other.

 

"Remember our promise." The woman said in a volume, still facing the emptiness.

 

They both looked the opposite direction and walked away.

 

That was their promise.

 

A tie to never look back at each other until they finally part away, and leaving no trails of their past. They had to break their relationship and start a new life as individuals, even though it was beneath their hearts that they didn't want to separate.

 

But they had to, and they did. It was for the sake of each other. It was, but in their hearts... it wasn't.

 

 

 

 

 

"Sehun..." A voice appeared out of the darkness.

 

"Sehun..." The voice keeps on calling out his name.

 

"Sehun..." He couldn't explain what was it, and he couldn't see anything.

 

"Sehun..." The voice repeated.

 

 

 

A bright flash embodied every darkness, and it was reality after all.

 

"Sehun-ah..." The voice went cleared and clearer, it was Luhan.

 

His eyes opened and found himself in an isolated field, with just himself and a smiling Luhan.

 

"Sehun-ah." He repeated as he runs to Sehun, minimizing the distance between them.

 

Sehun felt like it was forever after seeing Luhan, and he gushes to run back to him. The winds were swaying the tall grasses on the fields, and the silence was everything they ever had.

 

As they both got closer to each other, Luhan stopped. Sehun stopped by the other's reaction, and looked at him carefully.

 

Luhan looked at the other's eyes, with fears around his enlargening pupils.

 

 

At a swing of a strong wind, Luhan disappeared, leaving rigor in Sehun's skin.

 

 

His husband's disappearance made the bright day felt like winter; the greeneries wasn't like themselves, it instead looked like monsters on his foot... It wasn't real, he knew it wasn't...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He knew because he was scared...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sehun..." The voice returned.

 

 

 

 

"Sehun." Baekhyun's voice woke him up. He found himself at the back seat of Chanyeol's car.

 

"Sehun, wake up." Baekhyun's soft voice once again came up as he shakes Sehun's legs. The tilting motion of the car made him fully conscious. He stares at the road for a second and adjusted himself in his seat.

 

"Where are we going? Why am I here?" Sehun asked as he regained himself, grasping on the door handle.

 

Baekhyun looks back at the road. "We are on our way to the hospital. We just returned to your house to come and pick you up." He said whilst having no emotion nor an aura around him and his partner. It felt like they have been silent for the whole trip.

 

Sehun looked around and didn't found Luhan anywhere in the car. "Where is Luhan?" He demanded.

 

"He is at Chanyeol's office, resting." Baekhyun answered him.

 

"Wh-- Why? What? How come?" Sehun panicked.

 

Baekhyun didn't answer, even Chanyeol. The unkempt silence poisoned Sehun's mind. His thoughts was ranging out of the border, and he can't measure if the situation is serious or not.

 

 

He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, and he wanted to get out immediately and see Luhan, but his body was weakening... it was scared to see Luhan in a state that he couldn't bare with....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We found him lying on the floor unconscious, not far away from your sleeping body." Baekhyun tells the story while pressing his weight on the hospital bed support.

 

"Why is he here? Why is he unconscious?" Sehun was so puzzled, he couldn't understand what is happening to Luhan.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luhan woke up early in the midnight. He stretched his bones and got up to turn off the black-screened television. He didn't noticed that he fell asleep without finishing the movie.

 

He picked up the scattered plates on the carpet and went to the kitchen to make everything up. It was a nice thing to know that his limited months are completely over. He felt the extreme comfort, making himself more confident to stand on his own feet.

 

He was occupied by the task, when suddenly he unconsciously dropped the plate he was holding. Luhan thought it just slipped away from his hands, but the next thing proved his thought wrong.

 

His vision started blurring, and his heart started panting. His breathing went cut and his body suddenly felt a coat of winter cold all over him.

 

He didn't know how to respond from what is happening to him, and the only last thing he did was to get close to Sehun. He was reaching for him, trying to ask for help, but he can't. He snapped out and collapsed to the floor like a falling imbalanced matchstick. His flesh hit the ground and he couldn't see or hear anything. His senses were dead, and he thought himself in that way too...

 

 

 

After a few hours, the sun sprung up. Baekhyun and Chanyeol entered their home, and found Luhan's body dangling with a pool of blood on the floor. They ran to him and they rushed him to the hospital.

It was one of Chanyeol's hidden fears.

He knew that even after the treatment Luhan recieved, there is a possibility that an aftershock might click in to an inexact moment.

 

It was scary for the couple, it was scary to think that Luhan might have lost it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hi, Doctor Park."

 

A man passes by the couple, but the latter didn't responded. Baekhyun had to look back and apologize to the man before running in to catch up.

 

 

"How come you ignored that staff?" Baekhyun questions Chanyeol's behavior as he walks hastily to catch up on him.

 

"Stop!" Baekhyun commanded from a distance.

 

"I-I'm sorry, Baek. Everything is just too much for me." Chanyeol apologizes as he slows down and puts his weight on a tree.

 

 

"Come here." Baekhyun guides the other to a seat at the parking lot. They had the place just for the both of them.

 

 

"Let it out." Baekhyun entertained Chanyeol to breathe his thoughts, but he remained blanked. Instead, he started heating up, crying and sweating.

 

"Chanyeol..." Baekhyun rushes to his side and checked him. He reaches for a cloth in his bag and wiped Chanyeol's sweat and tears.

 

"Chanyeol, stop. Calm down, I am here to listen."

 

 

 

Chanyeol slowly regained himself and started breathing normally. He rested his head on Baekhyun's shoulders, and dictated what was on his mind.

 

 

 

"Luhan once told me a story." He stares at the branches of the large tree behind them, sobs still in his voice.

 

 

"It was about his mother, who saw a beautiful butterfly."

 

 

Baekhyun transfers Chanyeol to a incumbent position on his lap and brushes his hair as he wipes Chanyeol's sweat.

 

 

"Her mother described that the butterfly was really gorgeous. Its wings was decorated with colorful markings." He continued, his face swallowing the warmth of the sun.

 

 

"But then a frog approached, and it was about to eat the butterfly." He looked at Baekhyun's eyes. The other responded with a smile.

 

 

"I'm listening, continue." Baekhyun informed.

 

 

Chanyeol looks back at the sky. "So his mother catched the butterfly, and placed it away from the frog."

 

"And as his mother got home. She got scolded. Because she spoiled her new shoes with mud." Chanyeol closes his eyes, and a small line of tear flowed out of it.

 

 

 

"What a great story he told you." Baekhyun cheered him up. But instead of seeing Chanyeol smile, his face was rather unexpected.

 

 

 

"Don't you think Baek that it might be our story too?" Chanyeol whimpers, his breathing intensifies again.

 

 

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun asked worriedly, trying to calm his partner down.

 

 

"That after our bravery, at the end is still a consequence waiting." He answers and opens his red eyes.

 

 

He pulled up and threw himself to his partner, crying more and more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't want to lose our friend, Baek."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't want to lose Luhan."

 

 

 

 

It was a scene wherein the silent parking lot get startled by a crowd of screaming birds. Their silhouettes covered the bright sky and their shadows embodied the grounds.

 

Baekhyun looks up, with Chanyeol in his arms. He was terrified by the scene, but he couldn't close his eyes because he didn't want to miss a chance of something might vanish, just like how a bird has a choice to fly and disappear at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Luhan." The half said between his sobs.

 

"Please don't leave me like this." He pleaded at his unconscious loved one, with tears forming necklaces around his face.

 

 

"Lu..." Sehun desperately reaches for Luhan's consciousness. "Please wake up." He buried his face in the other's chest.

 

It was beating, but it wasn't loud enough. It was the weakest he heard; like a fish out the sea. Sehun felt Luhan's warmth so cold that embodies the both of them.

 

"Luhan..."

 

 

"Even for just a short moment, please open your eyes..."

 

 

His tears countably drops on Luhan's operating dress.

 

 

"Even just for a short moment, for me to say that I love you so much." He pleads as he places his hand on Luhan, indigent of his lover's response.

 

 

"I feel so guilty that I think I have never done anything enough to make you stay beside me..."

 

 

"Please don't leave me, darling. Please." His body cemented and his tears was unstoppably falling.

 

 

"Luhan!" He screams as he clasps the other's weary white gown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun arrived for the third day of Luhan's confinement, and he is still holding a hope on his palm. He waited outside the hospital room with his two friends.

 

 

Baekhyun gazed at Chanyeol who was beside them. There was a sort of communication between them, and it was in the midst of tense. Chanyeol then lays his palm flat on Sehun's back.

 

 

"Luhan had a brain malfunction 3 years ago, and it only reacted now. We thought that it was gone, which is..."

 

"He's-" Sehun was about to outcry, but he was cut off by Chanyeol.

 

"-but instead of taking his life... he took other things from him..." Chanyeol revealed.

 

 

 

Sehun was astonished by that news and rushed inside the room, finding a blanked-out Luhan staring out of the window. He was about to run to him and feel his husband in his arms, until someone pulled him back at his shoulder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sehun." Chanyeol said in a low, terrified voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He doesn't remember you anymore."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked at the two, with tears and pain painted in him. He couldn't believe it.

 

"Why? Why did I just only... Why..." He recklessly questioned the two. "How come I just found out about this? This situation was three years ago!?" Sehun pushed Chanyeol at the shoulder. "You all lied to me!" He screamed. "And now he's... he's--"

 

A painful sound of a slap covered the entire hospital hallway, attracting the attention of other attendees.

 

"He's alive." Baekhyun angrily hushed, crumpling his hands after slapping Sehun really hard. It was indeed necessary.

 

"He is alive. He is stable and healthy." The clamorous Baekhyun bent down, gasping for air. Chanyeol rubbed the back of the other, trying to put his swords down.

 

"And if..." He catched a large amount of oxygen. "And if you still have a ing problem with my best friend," Baekhyun pointed his finger at Sehun. "then work on bringing his memory back! It was no one's fault! So you don't have the right to act like that!" Baekhyun exclamated, followed by his uncontrollable crying.

 

Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun away and covered him in his chest. Chanyeol gave an apologetic expression, but his eyes tells Sehun that what Baekhyun said was irrefutable.

 

 

The couple walked away, leaving Sehun alone in front of Luhan's hospital room.

 

 

 

 

 

Sehun fell into a seat behind him, and stressfully buried his face in his hands. He's right, Sehun said to his stupid self.

 

Baekhyun was right.

 

He had been inadvertent with the situation... He should just have been contended with the fact that Luhan is still alive...

 

 

 

He stood up, picked up his and his husband's favorite book and notebook that he brought specially for today.

 

 

 

 

He was there, two-mindedly walking in to the room...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The trees brushed the wind as it danced with it. The waves went taller and louder as it crashes to the cemented shore. It was announced lately that there will be a typhoon today, and possibly until tommorow.

 

Sehun had his hands locked at the aluminum bars he was holding on, looking up in the dim, grey sky and at the view of the foggy lighthouse.

 

No one had ever expected that this would be the other way that fate would be playing. It spinned their destiny and it stopped, but instead of letting it be, fate cheated and adjusted it... adjusted it into another challenge that they were never prepared for.

 

Luhan stares blankly at the same view Sehun is looking at. His body was enjoying the tremor of the weather. He was enjoying the splashes of waters that gushes at him as the waves hits the cemented shore. He had his notebook and Sehun's book on his lap, and his hands rests on it while he sits down on his wheelchair.

 

 

"Sehun." He called the other in a soft, muddled voice. "Thank you for bringing me out."

 

 

"This is nothing." Sehun replied straight-toned.

 

 

"Was this one of the things that we supposed to do?" Luhan followed up.

 

Sehun snapped out of his ubiquitous melancholy. He ruffled Luhan's hair and let him hear his laugh. His heart was breaking apart but he didn't want Luhan to feel that he is being an enmity at their situation...

 

"Not really." He answered Luhan's question, looking at the grievous surrounding. "But it feels great, doesn't it?" He pursued.

 

Luhan then looks up in the sky and a few drops of rain started showering over him. He smiled and loved how the water from the heavens falls on his face. He tried to open his glare at the sky, trying to get a glimpse on what is above the both of them. It was empty, it was unclear, it was grey, and it was lonely. But he still had that smile, he still had that fight in his soul.

 

 

"It does." Luhan trailed as he looked back at the copious waves.

 

 

"I think it is about to rain, we should get back now." Sehun down-mouthedly picked up the books on Luhan's lap and gripped his other hand on the handles. His inevitable breathing kept a lost of faith under his throat... it was final in his mind, he could never get back his husband back.

 

He called back to the times as he looked at Luhan, already about to steer the wheelchair.

 

 

"This is such a wonderful view, honey." Luhan gasped at the 360 degree view of the entire Jeju island.

"Come help me up." Sehun reaches for his hand. Luhan then offers his hand and strength and pulls his husband up to the rock where he is standing at.

 

"Ah, yes." Sehun inclined, with his eyes on Luhan.

 

"But not as wonderful as you." Sehun plowed those cheesy lines, ruffling his back pocket for something.

 

"You're too silly, Sehun." Luhan kept gazing at the itinerary. As a large cloud passed by just above them, a flock of caprimulgidae birds at the daylight appeared, making an arch above them.

 

"Honey!" Luhan exclamated. "Look!" He pointed at the birds. He was so allured by the happening, but he noticed that Sehun wasn't responding.

 

"Hon--" He turns to Sehun, who was now kneeling on the snow-covered ground, with a red velvet box and a ring on his hand.

 

And it happened, Sehun asked for his hand at the halo of birds around them. It was like one of those fairytales, and never even believed that such instances could happen. The breath-taking view, the wonderful wonders of nature, and an unbelievable wedding proposal at once... it was too much for Luhan to take.

 

"Yes," He smiled, teary-eyed. "Yes!" He shouted, jumping up and down in joy. He offered his hand to Sehun, and Sehun inserted the ring. After that, he stood up and threw him the biggest hug of their lives.

 

 

It was perfect, he flashed in his mind. It was so perfect, it was hard for him to accept. He keeps in his tears, and started pushing Luhan's wheelchair back to the sheds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, Sehun." Luhan paused him. "No... my husband." He stops the wheels with his bare hands and pierced Sehun with his innocent term.

 

 

Like an arrow burying deep into his heart, Sehun loses his grip at the tantalizing moment.

 

 

Luhan sighed.

 

 

"Do you see the heavens, Sehun?" He gets the mood back up and points upward that the other's eyes followed.

 

 

Sehun looks up and nodded at him even though he is facing back; he's in the thought that Luhan might be needing his own silent stand.

 

 

"What did you see?" He asked and puts down his hand. "Did you see an empty, grey and lonely sky?"

 

 

Sehun nodded again in response.

 

 

"Well, I believe that after this typhoon, we will be seeing another clear, blue and bright sky, right?"

 

 

Sehun once again gestured with his head, trying to guess what Luhan was trying to tell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's like you and me."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sentence shook Sehun. He felt a puissant force pushing his heart, keeping it from beating. It made him feel dead, but Luhan was there; the warmth of the old Luhan was still there.

 

 

 

Luhan was purposely pushing the limits, and forcing his head to remember his past and his love for Sehun. He believed that he was still each other's husband, according to what Chanyeol and Baekhyun mentioned to him a day ago.

 

 

 

"I am now seeing an empty, grey and lonely sky in my brain." He lifts up his palm and formed a bowl, filling it up with rain.

 

 

 

 

"But I have something in my heart; even not in my mind... Sehun..." He brings down his hand and poured the rainfall on the ground.

 

 

 

 

"That at a time, I will then see how I was used to be..." He smiled at the idea.

 

 

 

 

"...clear, blue and bright." He then lowly uttered, looking down on his lap.

 

 

 

 

"How we used to be." He smiled. He reached for his wheels and rotated himself, facing Sehun, who was frozen from what he heard from Luhan's mouth..

 

 

 

 

"And I know you're there," The two locked their eyes at each other.

 

 

 

 

 "to help me get everything back..." He advances closer to Sehun.

 

 

 

 

"Like it used to be, my husband."

 

 

 

 

Luhan concluded and forced himself upward, clinging his arms into Sehun's shoulder. Sehun caught the other in the waist, up to an intimate connection, dropping the book and the notebook to the ground.

 

 

 

The latter on his mind changed, he is still the person I loved, he said to himself. His weak hope inverted into an essorant faith... a faith that tells him, love is still there as the only thing that keeps their chains locked up together; an unbreakable joint that keeps them together.

 

 

 

 

 

The rain started pouring hard and Luhan's wheelchair rolled away from their reach. But nothing matters; nothing really did matter. Even if fate spins it repeatedly, or cheats on them continuously, at the very end it was them waiting on the gloomy sky, standing there until the suns comes up and the blues starts to fade away. Nothing can break true love, because two persons will forever have the prescriptive of their romance for each other, and it is what makes them strong, it is what makes it infinite.

 

 

 

Luhan anchored his lips to Sehun's. Like a beam, it was the blossom of his memory's growth. It was the starting point of their new beginning, because it was never too late to start all over again... it will never be too late. Everything they do, is something that would flower into a new memory. And that flower will eventually die, but will live back again at the time of it's spring.

 

 

They stood in the rain, they stood in the motion of what wasn't right. Their hold went tighter as the rain pushes them harder.

 

 

 

"Sehun-ah." Luhan called him in an unusual yet familiar name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I am your Luhan," The strong winds abided in a moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"and will always be your Luhan." And the tempest let it loose, bringing back the extremity of its force.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The waves was as tall as the trees, the winds grew vehement at the void of the 39th street, with only two people lost at the time of the world.

They both looked up in the sky, and saw a slight glimpse of the clear, blue and bright sky above the darkness that covers them. They felt the warmth... of what is new that used to be what is past. Nothing has really changed, it was just them in a stronger platform...

 

It was them together in a new step of their story.

 

 

 

It was supposedly their last month together; the 39th month that would have been the last time they will be with each other.

Parting at the train station, she couldn't resist her feelings, and couldn't keep in mind the promise they had promised lately... Nothing stopped her as she turned around and ran for the man who she loved before and until now.

Consequences came, but she never gave up. She initially thought it was the end, but after seeing each other facing the wrong way, facing each other... they knew that it wasn't over... they knew that it was a second chance, a second chance to be together once again.

 

- A Visit To Heaven