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Too Late
Somewhere in the world, there was a woman. She was your average woman. She had an average face, height, weight and average skills. But somehow she was different.
She had a celebrity husband. Why did he choose her? No one knows why. How did he meet her? In some bar in Seoul. Why did he ask her to marry him? No one knows why.
Flashback
"Will you marry me?" The guy stood on one knee and had a box with a diamond ring in it.
"I don't know. Should I?" The girl asked. She was just kidding. Of course she would say yes! But the guy didn't take it lightly so he started rambling on about how he wouldn't be able to live without her and how much he loved her.
The girl stood there, dumbfounded. This wasn't the guy she knew. The guy she knew would give up easily and yet here he is practically begging her to marry him.
"I love you so much! I'll die without you! My life is noth-" the guy was interrupted when the girl suddenly kissed him.
"Of course I'll marry you. What made you think I wouldn't?" The girl kissed him again and hugged him.
End of flashback
Ah. Those were the good days. She thought. Those were the days that he was still with me.
It was already midnight and he hasn't come home yet. The dinner was getting cold and so was she. It was freezing but she was still sitting on the table, wearing a red dress. She hoped that he would come home. She hoped.
…
It was about 3 in the morning when she heard the door creak open. Instinctively, she went to the kitchen and got a pan. The shadow moved towards her making groaning noises every now and then.
She was about to hit it when it suddenly called out her name. She recognized that voice. It was her husband.
She opened the lights and saw her husband. His necktie was loose and messy. His shirt wasn't buttoned all the way. To be in fact, it was missing some buttons. His pants weren't zipped up and his shoelaces were untied.
How could he look like this? She thought. She shrugged the thought off and went to help her husband.
"Nana." He said.
She stopped in her tracks. That wasn't her name. Her name doesn't even start with a N. Was he having a dream about someone?
It's ok. She thought. It's normal for guys. She took a deep breath and helped him change but she couldn't get a chance to get him to sleep for he immediately took off her dress and kissed her.
That night she was supposed to get pleasure. Instead she got pain.
……
"Why are you in my bed?" He asked her. Since when was the bed his bed?
"Um.." She said. She couldn't say anything for she was too busy trying to cover herself up.
"You know what. Just go. I have to get ready for a shoot." He rolled his eyes and left the bed. "Women these days."
She felt like crying. But it's fine since she loved him and she understood that he was busy. So she forced herself not to cry and got up to change.
…
"Morning. Are you going to eat breakfast? I cooked your favorite, kimchi pancakes." She asked while flipping the pan.
"No. I'm already late. I have to go now." He waved goodbye and left.
She stopped flipping and turned the burner off.
He didn't even kiss me nor say I love you. She thought. Shrug it off. He's a busy guy. You have to understand. She mentally scolded herself and decided to eat the pancakes alone.
…
That night, she prepared dinner. She cooked his favorite, korean beef. She wanted to relieve his stress so she wore a black dress.
She happily sat down and waited.
An hour passed. Then two. Then three. Then four. Then five.
It's ok. She thought. Traffic must be really bad.
But then it became midnight. Her hopes of him coming home were slowly fading away. Will he come home tonight?
Then she fell asleep and it was the next morning. She was still wearing a black dress and was still sitting on the table.
She woke up and looked around. The food was untouched. There was still only one pair of shoes and his scent wasn't there. He had a special smell that only she could recognize and it wasn't there this morning. He didn't come home.
…
Thinking that he must have slept at the company, she packed a lunch for him. Inside it, were sushi rolls, kimchi, some vegetables, meat and rice. They were all shaped in hearts to represent her love for him. She loved him so much that she would die for him.
She went to his room in the company and heard noises.
"Ugh. Baby. Faster. Harder."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Her heart dropped and so did the lunch. Those three words. He said those three words to someone else. Those three words. The words that she yearned for him to say to her. Those three words. The three words that she kept on wanting to say to him but somehow couldn't.
"Did you hear something?"
"No. Keep going. Don't stop."
She ran away and went to the front desk.
"I was never here. Got that? And the lunch was dropped off by a friend. Don't say who. Just say a friend. Got that?" She said to the lady.
The lady nodded.
"Make sure the other people in this building know that too. Bye." She left just in time for her tears to fall.
…
"Babe, I'm home." He put his bag down and loosened up his tie.
"Babe?" He asked again.
"Oh. You're here? I'm sorry I couldn't cook dinner." She said.
He noticed her red and puffy eyes.
"Were you crying?" He asked. He walked up to her and carressed her cheek. "Your cheek feels wet."
"Oh. I wasn't crying. I accidentally squirted lemon juice into both my eyes and I kept on rubbing it. Then I rinsed my face with water. Sorry if you have to come home to this ugly face. I'll go prepare dinner." She said. She gently lifted his hand off her face.
3 years later…
"Hey. I'm here." He said.
She noticed the way that he called the house, here instead of home like he used to.
"Oh. Great. I cooked shrimp so feel free to eat it." She didn't hug him nor kiss him nor even look at him. This was their daily routine. He came back home there and she would say what she cooked.
There was no interaction. No "hi babe!". No kiss. No hugs. No eye contact. They were slowly drifting far apart. And only one of them knew it.
…
"Hi." He said.
There was no response. Only silence and he hated the silence.
"Um.. I'm here. What did you cook?" He asked.
Still no response.
He was starting to get worried so he quickly took of his shoes and went inside the master bedroom.
There he saw a lifeless girl, lying on the floor with a letter in her hand.
"Noo!! Wake up!! Wake up!" He wanted to say her name but he forgot it. He only remembered Nana' s and only Nana' s.
Guilt sunk in.
"She's my wife. My wife! How could I forget her name? And why is she so skinny? Oh how thin she is!" He cried and saw the letter in her hand.
To my dearest husband,
I know you have another woman. Her name is Nana, isn't it? One night you came home and "made love" to me while calling out her name. Ouch. Painful much. Then I stopped by your company to give you lunch since you didn't come home the other night. Turns out that you and Nana were still having fun so I just dropped off the lunch and ran away.
For three years, I tried to ignore the pain. For three years, I tried to endure it. But the pain was too strong. It was the worst pain that any woman could feel. And you know what the worst pain any woman could feel? It's loving someone who doesn't love you back and to make it worse, have that someone love someone else.
I endured that pain. Not because I wanted to but because I needed to. I loved you so much that my heart ached. I needed you with me. I needed you by my side. Whenever I was with you, I felt safe, strong and secure. That was in the past though. Then we drifted away. Far, far away.
I tried my best to keep you beside me. I tried. Trust me. But turns out that it doesn't work unless you have both sides trying. And in our situation, it was obvious to see who was trying and who wasn't.
You forgot about me. I was just that woman that you were unfortunately stuck with while she was the one that you loved. That's right. I heard you tell her that you love her back. Do you know how much I just wanted to go in there and slap her senseless? Did she know that you were married? Were you even wearing the ring?
I guess you didn't tell her or she chose to ignore it because day by day, you would treat me like your friend(?) Scratch that. You treated me like a servant. There. Much better. You didn't even notice that I lost 60 pounds.
I went to the doctor and found out that I was anorexic and to make it even worse, that I was pregnant. You know that night that you came home late? Yeah. That night. I guess you really wanted Nana at that time.
Well sorry, I'm not Nana. I'm not her. I can never be her. I'm sorry that I said yes. I'm sorry that you had to marry me. I'm sorry that you met me. I'm sorry. Really.
Even though you might not feel the same way, I actually am thankful that I met you. I'm thankful that I got a chance to love you and to feel loved. You loved me once and I get it. It changed over the years. You must've gotten sick of me. I'm a bit too average, right? I don't know why you picked me but thank you.
Oh and about the baby, I had a miscarriage. That's why I was crying that night. It wasn't because of the lemon juice but it was because of the miscarriage. I really wanted the baby to meet her father even if the father didn't want to meet her. That's right. It was supposed to be a girl. Her name was going to be Jasmine. But I guess I shouldn't have gotten ahead of myself.
Well, now you're free. Go. Go get her. Go make her happy. I never deserved you in the first place. Just make sure to make her happy. Or else I will come back and haunt you.
I love you. I just wanted to say that before I say goodbye. It would've been nice to hear you say that but you can't force yourself right? You are a person and people make mistakes. I'm sorry if I was your biggest mistake.
I love you. Bye.
With love,
May Ann.
"No! You weren't my biggest mistake! NANA WAS!! DAMN IT!! WAKE UP MAY ANN. WAKE UP!" He said.
He cried until he fainted.
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Author's Note.
Hey. I felt like writing some angst today. And so I did. I cried while writing this. It was so sad. Ugh! What did I just write?
Anyways, feel free to comment, suscribe or upvote.
XOXO,
SeohyunorSica
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