Sometimes Jieun felt like she didn't fit into the idol world. Maybe it was a good thing that she was just a solo singer that barely went on variety shows or did any exposure whatsoever. Maybe she could just fade into the background and live a new normal life.

When she was backstage before a performance, she would see groups fighting, bullying, and even managers discussing fake relationships. It made her feel sick.

All she wanted to do was sing, but apparently singing came at a price.

The cutesy image was one of the things she hated the most. She wasn't cute. There were some things that she saw girl groups do that she wanted to try but she felt so gross doing it. She would unintentionally mimic something she saw someone do and afterwards she would immediately regret it.

Jieun wasn't cute. At least she thought she wasn't. The grossed out expression on her little brother's face made her feel worse about her accidental cuteness.

There were also the songs. Jieun loved writing her own music. She wouldn't just write about love songs like the usual kpop songs, she would write about her family; she would write about her friends, she would write about her hardships during her training days... Her management just didn't think her songs would sell. After her debut song was a miss, the management decided to go for a different approach. Cutesy... Boo, Marshmallow, Good Day, You and I... They were all good songs; it's just that it wasn't her type of song. She actually loved her debut song.

Jieun couldn't dance. People told her constantly that she shouldn't try dancing and she agreed! Dancing definitely wasn't her thing. She was awkward, her limbs didn't move the way she wanted them to, and she was just uncomfortable dancing.

She wasn't good at variety shows. Idols who have been debuting lately have been great on television. This was one of the main ways to get fans. When an idol is really funny, people of course think they're more interesting to watch. Jieun was great with scripts but she wasn't good at improv. A lot of hosts have trouble when she's a guest because they have to talk more and prepare more.

There were a lot of things that Jieun wasn't good at but there were two things that she knew she could do. Sing and play the guitar.

To sing for a living... she had to sell out. Yes, she called herself a sellout. She was doing things that she didn't want to do just so that she could stay famous, just so that she could sing.

On most days, Jieun felt like she was living the wrong life.

On the days where she could meet Myungsoo, she was glad that she was an idol. He would point out the good things about being an idol. Singing every chance they get was the best thing about being an idol. There were some things they had to give up like... a life, old friends, and seeing their families’ everyday but they were living a life where they didn't have to sit in an office all day staring at a computer screen.

Becoming an idol is how she met him. Becoming an idol is how she was able to find someone that understood her inside and out.

They had to hide their relationship because they were idols, but that was a small price to pay. Fans loved their idols as if they were gods. Although it was a bit extreme, Jieun loved her fans. There were fans that wanted to control every aspect of an idol's life but Jieun was just happy they were there. If not for her fans she wouldn't be able to continue singing every day. She had to think about the fragile hearts of her fans so she agreed with him that they couldn't go public with a relationship.

There was a day when Jieun felt like doing something risky. She was known in the company to do troublesome stuff. Jieun was still a kid at heart, having to debut at such a young age. Jieun didn't think about some of her decisions before doing them.

She didn't think it would hurt him. She didn't think it would hurt anyone. She thought it was a harmless decision. But she ended up hurting herself and a lot of people around her.

She posted a picture of herself and Super Junior's Lee Hyukjae, aka Eunhyuk.

They were good friends; he was one of the people she would go to when she had troubles. That particular day, Eunhyuk came over unannounced because he was having trouble with his girlfriend. After he told her his problems and Jieun gave him advice, Jieun made fun of Eunhyuk for crying like a little girl. She took out her cell phone and snapped a picture of them together. Jieun quickly told Eunhyuk that she was going to post it and before he could stop her, she did it.

Jieun showed Eunhyuk the picture after she posted it and he froze.

"Jieun... take it down." he said seriously.

"What? Why?"

"Take it down! That picture doesn't look as innocent as you think." Jieun gave him a questioning stare and looked back at the picture. She didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Suddenly she was getting calls from management telling her to take that picture down immediately.

Jieun looked at Eunhyuk, confused.

"What did I do?"

"Hopefully no one saw it."

Jieun quickly texted Myungsoo.

'To: Myungie <3

I think I've done something wrong and the only thing I'm scared of right now is you misunderstanding me.'

Jieun was surprised by the fast reply.

'From: Myungie <3

Just tell me what happened.'

He saw it.

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Myungsoo was mostly content with his idol life. He was performing which was something he loved, both dancing on stage and acting in dramas.

He loved his bandmates, from Grandpa-Gyu to the diva maknae. Last but not least, he had a girlfriend that he thought was far from perfect but perfect just the same.

He woke up to the sound of his phone notifying him that he had an update. When he checked, it was his girlfriend posting something on twitter.

He knew Jieun and Eunhyuk were good friends and he also knew that Eunhyuk was completely devoted to his own girlfriend. What he didn't understand was the photo. Jieun was in her pajamas and Eunhyuk looked shirtless.

Myungsoo trusted Jieun. Until she gave him a reason why he shouldn't trust her, Jieun would have his trust. In the world they live in, there were constant misunderstandings and he didn't want to ruin what they have because of a misunderstanding.

Jieun called him right after he texted her back.

She explained to him about Eunhyuk coming over to talk about his girlfriend. She told him about taking the photo; most importantly that Eunhyuk's clothes were on. She told him about Eunhyuk and the management freaking out and telling her to take the photo down.

Myungsoo sighed in relief.

"Jieun ah, what were you thinking?" he asked her.

"I didn't think it was as bad as they thought. I didn't even understand why they wanted me to take it down in the first place. You understand me, right?" Myungsoo smiled softly. Jieun was always doing things without a second thought.

"I understand you. This might become really bad, Jieun ah. You might get hurt."

"Oppa... is this my way out?" Myungsoo froze.

"Out?"

"Is this my way out of the idol life?"

Myungsoo knew this was the case with many idols that wanted to sing more than anything else. The singers usually wanted to just do that, just sing. They didn't want to do the variety shows, the commercials, the fan service... He knew Jieun was happiest when she wasn't famous. She was happy when she was able to just sing.

"Jieun ah, don't give it all up." Myungsoo also knew that Jieun would miss this all when if she left. Jieun loved the sound of cheering fans; he could see it on her face. Jieun loved working long hours so that she could appear on shows and greet her fans. Even though she thought she hated it, Jieun loved her life as an idol.

After the stunt the solo singer pulled, Jieun was going to have a rough time. The media was good at misunderstanding and jumping to conclusions.

"Why shouldn't I?" Jieun asked softly.

"If there is someone that knows you inside and out, who would it be?"

"You."

"That's right. And I'm telling you now... you love your job. When I see you on stage, it shows. It shows that you were born to be on that stage doing what you do. Tomorrow and days and months after what you did will be tough, but you have to show everyone how tough Lee Jieun is. You hear me?" Jieun felt scared.

"Yeah. Thanks, Myungie." Myungsoo smiled, he usually didn't like the pet name but it comforted her so he was going to let it slide this time.

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