*As usual, thoughts/memories are in italics.

 

"TaeTae, are you heading out again? The snow's pretty heavy..." I heard a familiar voice calling out behind me as I tied my shoes.

"Yeah, Pani. I'm going to visit 'her'. Today's her anniversary, after all. I'll see you later, Pani-ah." I replied nonchalantly as I stood up and was about to turn the doorknob when I felt a pair of arms wrapping my waist.

"TaeTae... You know I'm still waiting for you, right?" She muttered in a barely audible voice.

"Yes, Pani-ah. I'm sorry, I love you, but I promised 'her.' I'm sorry for not being able to accept you. I'm sorry for making you wait for so long..." I made a long sigh as I leaned back into the embrace.

"It's okay, TaeTae, as long as I have you by my side, nothing else matters. I'll keep on waiting. I'll wait for you as long as you want." 

I felt teardrops falling down onto my cheeks.

"Come look for me at the cemetery afterwards. We'll dine outside tonight, okay?"

"Sure, I'll see you later. Is an hour enough?"

"More than enough."

 

I untangled myself out of the embrace and left my apartment after saying my goodbye.

It's this time of the year, again.

9 December 2013. 

December used to be my favourite month, you know? Sadly an unfortunate accident happened 5 years ago, I lost a loved one, and it's my entire fault.

I hated December ever since.

 

~

 

I stopped upon the same flower boutique shop that I have visited since I was dating 'her'.

I approached the owner, wanting to get a stalk of white rose and a bottle of their home-made red wine.

Surprisingly, or maybe unsurprisingly, she had already had them prepared for me. 

"Thank you, halmeoni. You shouldn't have." I hugged the granny that I've visited for the past 5 years.

"It's okay, Taengoo. I know what today means to you. Now go, or you'll be late." She smiled warmly at me, with a few wrinkles on her forehead.

Despite her aging appearance, she sitll looked beautiful to me. 

“Maybe the inside, really does matter.”

 

~

 

I approached the lonely and quiet graveyard, as I pulled my thick jacket closer to my shivering body.

It's not surprising that it would be quiet. After all, this is a cemetery, and not to mention it's winter and the snow's pretty heavy.

I walked towards 'her' grave slowly, tears already threatening to fall.

Yes. Even 5 years after 'her' death, I still feel that pain in my heart, whenever I approached 'her' grave.

 

I sat down in front of her tombstone, and without a word, I gently placed the stalk of white rose onto the grave.

 

-----

"Here lies the body of the late Jessica Jung."

"An unsung hero, she died in the arms of her lover. She sacrificed her life, for her lover. And most importantly, for the greater good of humanity. She is truly a hero."

"May she rest in peace."

"To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. - Leibnitz."

-----

 

I traced my thin fingers along the engraved epitaph.

"5 years really flew by eh, Sica-yah?"

I closed my eyes, and those memories that I tried my hardest to forget, started playing like a movie, all over again.

 

~

 

Flashback

5 years ago.

 

"Go, go, go! We've gotten the files, move out!" 

Gunshots, thunderous footsteps, shouting were heard in the corridor.

It was an all-out gunfight. 4 female agents, against more than a dozen corrupt military soldiers.

"Move it, Jung! We don't have much time!" The tall and skinny burette shouted as she fired gun shots at the military soldiers.

"I'll cover you guys! Now move!" A much shorter blond shouted as she took cover behind a wooden shelf.

 

Jessica grasped the thumb drive tightly, and made her run towards the exit, with Taeyeon following closely behind her.

They manoeuvred around the lifeless bodies of those soldiers. The exit was merely 100 metres away. Yoona and Yuri were waiting for them in the escape vehicle.

Unknowingly, a soldier whom was playing dead pulled her ankle, causing Taeyeon to fall face first onto the ground.

 

He instantly got up and unsheathed his dagger.

"I got you now, you little rat!"

Taeyeon was scared out of her wits. She didn't have any usable weapon left. She was out of ammo. Her dagger was already stuck into one of the soldiers’ body. She was out of options.

The soldier lunged himself and his dagger onto the fear-stricken Taeyeon, smiling like a madman, knowing that he had taken down one of the agents.

Taeyeon screamed and closed her eyes, as she braced herself for the unbearable pain that would hit her soon enough.

 

She heard the disturbing sound of flesh being pierced, she felt droplets of blood splattering against her flawless face.

But she felt no pain. She only felt a weight of body falling onto her.

She opened her eyes, only to find the pale face of her lover, Jessica Jung, staring at her.

"A-Are you okay, Taengoo?" Jessica placed her hand on Taeyeon's cheek.

"S-S-Sica...? What's go-"

Taeyeon then saw the wound on Jessica's windpipe. 

"No... No... Sica... why did yo-"

Taeyeon was away from reality. Her mind was in a mess. She was trying to comprehend the situation. She couldn't believe that her lover, Jessica Jung, just took a deadly knife blow for her.

 

"! ! ! You ing bastard! DIE!" A familiar voice pulled her back into reality. It was the one and only Sooyoung, whom was shooting at the already dead soldier.

Sooyoung rushed towards the bloodied Jessica, with a hole in her windpipe.

"No, no, no, no, NO! This can't be happening. Jess!" Sooyoung cried out.

"Get a hold of yourselves! This isn't the time for grief! We have to move or all of us will die in this hole!" Sunny, being the emotionally strongest among the team, yelled out as her voice shook. She was obviously already in tears. Despite that, she continued firing at the enemies.

 

"Don't ing die on me, Sica! Don't you dare ing die on me!" Taeyeon screamed.

Jessica slowly reached into her vest, and took out a pair of bloodied bells that were attached to a string.

"T-Taengoo... do... you remember... this...?" Jessica struggled to speak.

"Say no more, Sica! Don't speak or you'll lose more blood!"

"Remember... when I said... 2 rings... means you'll stay... with me... forever?" 

"Yes, yes, yes! I'll stay with you forever! I promised! So don't let go!" Tears were already falling from the grieving Taeyeon's eyes.

"I told you... I'll think about... what 3 rings... will mean... right?" Jessica coughed out more blood. 

"SHUT UP, SICA. SHUT UP!" 

"3 rings... will mean... you'll let go... and forget about me...." Jessica stared at the crying Taeyeon's eyes. Hers too, were tear filled.

 

Jessica mastered all her strength, and made a single ring.

*Ring...*

Gunshots were fired, tears fell, people died.

Jessica's eyes were losing colour. She lost too much blood. But she knew she couldn't stop here. She had to finish what she stared.

 

She shook her cold hands, and a second ring was heard among the chaos.

*Ring...*

"Guys... We don't have time for this!" Sunny shouted.

"Ignore Sunny! We'll hold out for a little longer! Do what you need to do, Jess!" Sooyoung, whom was crying, lashed out her anger onto the incoming enemies.

"Baby... Please don't do this..." Taeyeon begged as she closed in onto Jessica's face.

 

Taeyeon sealed her lips with Jessica, trying her best to stop her from making that last ring.

A single, last tear slipped out of Jessica's right eye, as she took a last look at Taeyeon. 

The colour in Jessica's eyes, eventually faded, as her erected arm fell onto Taeyeon's back, dropping the bells.

In the end, she only managed to make 2 rings.

 

The result of the mission was fruitful. The evidence against the corrupt politician was revealed in court, and that scum was sentenced to hanging. That trash wanted to release a nuclear war which would kill millions of innocent lives. The honourable sacrifice of the hero, Jessica Jung, wasn't for nothing.

 

Or that's what the rest of the agency thought. Since a single female, was ready to choose Jessica over the world.

 

~

 

I was pulled back into reality, but a pat on my shoulder. 

I turned back, to find by beloved friends, Sooyoung and Sunny, standing behind me. Each with a stalk of white rose in their hands.

Sooyoung and Sunny. They two got married, a year after Jessica's death. Their only regret then was not having Jessica at their wedding.

 

"You guys are here... take a seat." I wiped my tears away, as I patted the ground beside me.

They placed their roses before taking a seat, and they muttered an obvious silent prayer.

We chatted for a little, since we haven't seen each other in maybe 6 months. We were busy with our own activities after leaving the agency, after all.

 

"TaeTae!"

We were interrupted by a familiar voice. A voice which I've heard a thousands of times now. That angelic voice accompanied me throughout the pain of losing a loved one.  That angelic voice pulled me out of the darkness. That angelic voice saved my life. Not once, but twice. Just when I was about to escape from this Hell on Earth, that voice pulled me back. I was grateful. Very grateful, to the owner of that voice.

I turned my head, along with Sooyoung and Sunny, to confirm my suspicions.

It was indeed, Tiffany Hwang.

She was waving at us, as she stood in front of our car. 

She was giving us that precious angelic eye-smiles of hers. It was those crescent moons, that never failed to make me smile.

 

"Would you like to join us for dinner?" I smiled at the couple.

"I thought you would never ask. We'll be waiting for you back at the car." Sooyoung smiled back.

The couple slowly strolled towards the waving Tiffany.

 

~

 

I opened the red wine that I brought, and slowly poured it down the tombstone. Its contents flowed down the cold concrete, making its way towards the engravings and the white roses. It seeped into the engravings, and stained the white roses red.

"Here's your favourite wine, Sica-yah. Tiffany's calling for me. I'll take my leave... You know, I feel really bad for making her wait for me like that... But a promise's a promise. I'll stay by your side. Forever. Forgive me for my selfishness." I smiled bitterly as I emptied the contents of the bottle.

"You know, I've always forgotten to return this to you. Don't you even think that I've lost mine. It's still in our treasure chest." I took out a pair of bloodied bells from my jacket, and placed it at the top of the wine soaked grave.

I waved goodbye to her, and I turned back and was about to walk towards the trio, whom was already chatting.

But once again, I felt hesitant. I felt hesitant to walk away from this grave. I stood there aimlessly, as I thought of her again.

 

Suddenly, I felt an unknown force that pushed my right shoulder. It felt like a hand, a woman's hand, to be exact.

 

I staggered forward, and I turned back, trying to find the culprit. But alas, there was nobody there.

I was utterly confused. I couldn't be the wind. Exactly what in the world could have pushed me? Wait. No. No it can't be. I can't be he-

"TaeTae!" 

I was once again brought back to reality. It was Tiffany once again, waving at me, along with Sooyoung and Sunny.

I waved back, and shrugged off that thought of that unknown force that pushed me just seconds ago. 

I then slowly made my way towards them, as the thought of that strange force came back into my mind almost instantaneously.

I was so deep in thought, that I almost missed a strange ring.

 

*Ring...*

The ringing, of a bell. 

I thought my ears were playing tricks on me, and I continued my way back.

 

*Ring...*

I heard a second ring, this time, it was louder, and much more familiar.

I stopped dead on my tracks.

"It... it can't be... It's impossible."

My mind started racing. The sight of the tombstone that I glanced back at just a few seconds ago came back up into my mind.

There was something strange about that sight, though. Something was missing.

The engravings, the red stained roses, the bells. 

Wait.

The bells. That moment I turned back the bells wasn't there.

 

*Ring...*

Almost at the same time, I turned my head back.

A third ring.

 

Tears, blurred my vision and started unconsciously falling down my cheeks. I clenched my jaw with so much strength that the metallic taste of blood danced in my taste buds. My legs threatened to give way. 

There she was. 

My Lover, my Angel, my Princess, my First Love, my Everything,

My Jessica Jung.

She stood there, dressed in a white grown, a smile on her lips. Her left arm folded, with her right arm resting on it.

Her right hand, it was holding onto something...

A pair bells, attached to a string.

The exact same pair of bells that I left on top of her grave just moments ago. Except, it was now in her hands, without the bloodstains.

She was looking straight at me, her face glowing radiantly, her eyes full of life and hope. Those perfect pair of lips, that were smiling, moved, as though trying to say something. 

 

But I then made a grave mistake.

I blinked.

Yes. The action that every living thing with an eyelid is required to make. I blinked.

An action that causes one to see eigengrau, the blackest black, just for a fraction of a second.

Yes. I did just that. 

The moment I opened my eyes, after just closing it for a fraction of a second, she disappeared.

As though it was just an illusion or a hallucination, she disappeared.

Disappeared into thin air.

 

I blinked a few more times, hoping that she would reappear.

I scanned my surroundings. I was already on the ground, tears falling profusely without my consent.

I didn't make a sound. I couldn't make a sound. I was still in a state of absolute shock.

Around me, were Tiffany, Sooyoung and Sunny. I could the anxious and worried look on their faces. It seems like they've just arrived beside me.

They seemed to be asking "Are you okay?", "What happened?", "Why are you crying?". The usual words of concern.

But I couldn't hear them. I was lost in my world. My mind was still processing what I saw just moments ago. 

"Was it real life? Did I really just saw my lover, Jessica Jung?" I asked myself.

There was only one way to confirm it. I scrambled towards the grave that was in front of me, ignoring all the cries of concern.

 

Indeed. The pair of bells, disappeared. The very item that I left on top of the grave just minutes ago disappeared. 

It was like a trigger. I wailed out instantly, kneeling before Jessica's grave.

I did meet Jessica.

After 5 years, I've finally seen her.

 

I wailed like a baby, it was the hardest I've cried. Yes, even more than her actually death itself. 

I couldn't comprehend the situation. 

"Why? Why did she reappear? Why did she make those 3 rin-" 

 

Then it hit me. Those 3 rings of a bell. The words that she was mouthing. It all started to make sense.

It was as though she have heard the silent cries of Tiffany at night. It was as though Jessica understood our situation. It was as though...

Jessica wanted me to move on.

The words that she mouthed... It confirmed my suspicion.

 

She mouthed:

"Now go, forget about me. She's waiting for you."

 

---

Author's note: Hey guys! Finally done with this one-shot. Sorry I'm unable to the other stories. Really very, very busy with my work. I barely had enough time to complete this chapter. I totally screwed up my Science pratical today. T.T

Anways, hope you guys like this chapter! I don't think it was as angsty as I wanted it to be, though.

Still! I tried my best, okay?!

Remember to comment and give me feedback~

Love you guys~

 

-009ine.