Chapter 1: Worry

 

 

Tiffany sat on the couch in SNSD's dorm. She was worried, to say the least. Sitting there for several hours thinking about the situation didn't make it any better. Sipping from her coffee, she once again lost in her thoughts. She was worried for their leader, Taeyeon. 

When they debuted in 2007 Taeyeon was always happy, energetic and there for her members. She was happy and now her dream was true, they all were living their dream. But day by day, she seemed to close up. Whenever she had free time, she closed herself in her rom in her parents house. She didn't come to eat with them like she usually did, she didn't add erted comments or to put it bluntly - she didn't do anything she used to do. She was like a walking zombi. Dancing and singing when told to so so, smling for the fans every now and then. The spark in her eyes, the glint of joy, was nowhere to be seen. It was covered with dull stare, something Tiffany thought a depressed person would look like. 

 

Yes, depressed. That was what she came up with. She couldn't think any other reason why Taeyeon was acting this way. Of course it could be because of several years of lack of sleep, but she had managed that before. Just a year ago they had had insane schedule but they were okay, because they were talking about it. They were one, like the fans said, it was soshi-bond. It was what kept them all going during hard times. But Taeyeon seemed to avoid them. 

Tiffany knew Taeyeon loved their fans and singing. It had been her passion for her whole life, and she knew it was there. One week ago, she had been watching Taeyeon record a new ost for some drama. It was that moment when she knew it was there. When she sang, her eyes held the certain glint, the glint of happiness, joy, dreams... But there was something else as well. It was pain. Deep in her eyes Tiffany could see pain forcing its way through. And that was what worried her. 

 

Suddenly she jerked when she felt cold hand on her shoulder. Almost spilling her coffee she turned around to see Sooyoung there with a sandwitch and coffee in her hands. "What are you doing unnie? It's 03:00AM in the morning... Why aren't you sleeping? " She asked while moving to sit beside her. 

"Ah, it's nothing.." Tiffany replied. "Just thinking. Why aren't you sleeping?"

Sooyoung grinned and pointed at her sandwitch. "Got hungry. So are you thinking about Taeyeon?"

Surprised she turned to Sooyoung. "How did you know?" 

"You look like you are troubled with something. And we all are worried for her, she's not like she used to be. There's something wrong but she's avoiding us..."

For a long while they were silent. That was one of those things Tiffany appreciated the most in Sooyoung. She knew when silence was better than speaking. So they just sat there, both in their thoughts, before Sooyoung spoke up. 

"Unnie, please don't worry by yourself. We all know there's something wrong and we all want to help... I know you two are like best friends and we are not upset about that... We just want her to be okay, just like you do. We... we all used to be so close."

Tiffany couldn't stop the tears that were forming in her eyes. With that she hugged Sooyoung. "I know. I know. Let's make her okay... We'll manage, we'll figure something..."

 

 

 

Meanwhile Taeyeon was sitting in her room at her parents place, staring in her hands. in her hands laid a packet, which looked like medicine. But it wasn't. She didn't exactly know what was it called, it was just supposed to make her enjoy life again. Those ten, tiny, light pink coloured pills were the key to happiness. At the time she got them it seemed like a good idea, nothing would change. She could just take one when needed and after ten pills she would start to enjoy life wihtout any... help. Yes, it was only temporary solution, to get started. 

She was battling herself for a long while. Whether or not to take them. In the end, they weren't bad drugs... Just something little. 

 

"It won't make you hallucinate or anything like that. It will just make you feel good, like you have never felt before. It's like you would be swimming on clouds! It gives you energy and I assure you, the pressure in your chest will be long gone!" 

 

That was what her friend had said to her while handing the pills. She even didn't have to pay for her. But what she was battling with, was the thought of someone realizing what she was doing. If her members found out, she wouldn't be able to face them again. She was already sorry for them. She knew they were worried for her and wanted to help her but she was avoiding them. She couldn't speak to them. What if they didn't understand? What if they would laugh to her? Besides, she felt like she had disappointed them, not doing her job as a leader. She didn't want to make them worry more than they already did. And that was the solution. Taking the pills would make her happy and her members would see she was okay again. She could explain something later, about her odd behaviour. 

 

With shaking hand she opened the packet and took out one pill. Staring at it for a while she smiled. 

 

Life is about to be good again. 

 

And she swallowed the pill. 

 

 

 

Author notes: Sorry it took me such a long time to update this one! I am working on my other fanfic called "Insomnia", if you like Soowon and TaeTeuk couple check it out! I am also quite busy with school, but I'll try to update soon again! Thank you for reading!