7:00pm.

Kyungsoo had locked himself in the kitchen to prepare dinner as usual (the kitchen is now strictly Out Of Bounds). It was finally time for the meeting that Jongin had organized. He had told the rest (except Kyungsoo, of course) that he needed their help and in exchange, he would bring all of them on a short vacation (kindly sponsored by $uho)

Jongin had pulled out tables and chairs into the practice room (they have one in their dorm), turning it into a makeshift meeting room. He sat at the end of the table, waiting patiently for the others to fill up the seats.

7:07pm.

“…”

Yixing and Suho stared at Jongin nervously, unsure of what to say. Jongin had begun tapping his foot impatiently when the clock hit 7:05pm. The rest were still either in the living room or in their rooms, doing crap Jongin knows nothing of. The only thing he knows is that they are late for the meeting.

“U – Um, I’ll go bring the kids here,” Suho said, running out of the practice room. Yixing followed after.

A few minutes later, the HunHan couple comes strutting into the room hand in hand, with their free hand busy groping each other’s butts, whispering into each other’s ears (loud enough for Jongin to hear). Jongin narrowed his eyes at them. Gross.

“Xiaolu, you’re the apple to my pie”

Luhan giggles.

“Hunnie, you’re the peanut butter to my jelly”

“Hmm, you’re the butterflies I feel in my belly”

More giggling.

“You’re the one for me”

“You’re the one I wanna marry”

Sehun smirked when he sees a shade of pink creeping on Luhan’s cheeks.

“You’re the—

“Shut the up and sit down!” Jongin threw a bottle at them. Cheesy hunhan is unhealthy.

The maknae successfully dodged, shielding Luhan from it as well.

“Calm yo , Jongin”

Jongin threw his arms in the air. He was losing his .

“Bow down to the great King Jongdae, you filthy peasants!” Jongdae makes a grand entrance with his head held high. Xiumin followed behind with judging eyes, judging his very own best friend.

The others in the room flipped the middle finger at the “king”. He scoffed, flipping them back.

Jongin checked off a few names on the attendance list.

Xiumin, check. Luhan, check. Jongdae, check. Sehun, check.

Suho and Yixing are still dragging the others here.

This is going to be a loooong day.

7:15pm.

Suho and Yixing are finally back, dragging Tao and Kris behind them.

Tao was bugging his favourite gege, Kris, to shower with him again, because our poor AB Style Romantic Panda is a fragile soul who is afraid of the dark.

The Picasso refuses, a pen tucked behind his ear and a sketchbook in his hands, insisting that he was working on a new masterpiece and he allows no distractions.

And so Tao turns to Luhan who hasn’t showered yet, hoping his kind gege would accompany him.

“No,” Luhan shook his head, “just no.”

“Let’s shower together later, Lulu?” Sehun tugs the older’s shirt and asks.

Luhan nodded, “Yes, baby. Anything for you, baby.”

“Can I join— Tao pleaded.

“Nuh-uh.”

Tao wanted to cry. His beloved mother, Suho, pulls him into a hug.

“Awww, It's okay tao baby, mama will shower with you!”

“AWW MAMAAAA!” Tao wipes a tear, crying out.

“ERZI!!!!!!”

“MAMAAAAAA”

“ERZI!!!!!!!”

They’re having a moment again. Jongin tunes the SuTao dramatic scene out and continues to check off names.

Kris, check. Suho, check. Yixing, check. Tao, check.

Where the hell is Byun Baekhyun and Park Chanyeol?

“Where the hell is Baekyeol?” he turns to Yixing and asks.

“Umm… they are…”

“Wait…” Jongin interrupted him. “I think I know.”

“They’re ing each other senseless.” Yixing says quickly.

“Right…” Jongin pinches the bridge of his nose in disgust.

“Alright, we shan’t wait for Baekyeol. The meeting will now commence.” Jongin announces.

The rest were busy minding their own business – Kris working on his masterpiece, Luhan and Sehun making out, Suho and Tao sobbing over each other, Jongdae seems to be plotting something while Xiumin is stuffing himself with buns.

Jongin thinks that only Yixing is normal.

Just then, Yixing pulls out a unicorn toy from behind and huggles it, talking to it. He had named it Susu. (Jongin thinks that it’s a Suho substitute because of Yixing’s small crush on the grandpa and how Susu just screams Suho)

Well scratch that, no one is normal here.

Jongin runs a hand in his hair in frustration. It was already 7.25pm, they needed to get this done before Kyungsoo is done preparing dinner.

“Ladies, can I have your attention please?”

Hell, of course not.

“HELLO?”

Goodbye, Jongin. The exit is to the left.

“EXCUSE ME?”

Excuse you.

“ANYONE?”

Yay! SuTao finally stopped their cringe-worthy moment and Jongin finally catches Suho’s attention.

“Mama Suho, help me!” Jongin pleaded.

“Suho’s not your mom, Suho’s my mom!” Tao shoots daggers at Jongin with his eyes.

“Fine,” Jongin rolled his eyes. “Suho hyung, please help me.”

“Watch me then,” Suho winked.

Jongin secretly thinks he’s so ugly when he winks.

“KIDS. LISTEN UP. WE ARE—

“ONE! WE ARE, EXO!” everyone shouted along and did the actions as well.

Everyone’s eyes were immediately on the leader, giving him the fullest attention.

This was all Suho took to get their attention.

Jongin feels pathetic.

“So, I’m passing on to Jongin to carry on with the meeting.” Suho announces.

“Ok.” They nodded.

Jongin smiled in satisfaction. “So as I was saying—

The others immediately turned back to minding their own business.

“ you all.” Jongin threw a bottle out of the window and the glass shattered.

All of them, except Jongin, burst into hysterical laughter that they were trying to hold back.

“Okay okay guys, let’s stop the teasing and listen to Jongin, we don’t have much time left.” Kris ordered.

Just then, the door opened and a limping Baekhyun along with Chanyeol entered.

“Sorry guys we’re late, Chanyeol and I were—

The rest coughed loudly.

“We know. Save the details to yourselves, thank.” Jongin rolled his eyes.

The meeting officially commences now.

“So as I was saying, I like Kyungsoo.”

“We all know,” they chorused.

“And I need you guys to help me.”

“We all know,” they chorused.

“How should I propose to him then?”

“We don’t know,” they chorused.

“Dammit. Ideas, I need your ideas—wait, Funky Funky Chen Chen who are you calling?”

All heads turned to Jongdae, who had his phone against his ear, sporting a malicious grin.

Luhan and Beagle Line smirked.

“Hi Kyungsoo!” Jongdae cheerfully greeted the other line.

Whaaa—.

“K-KIM JONGDAE, YOU STOP RIGHT THERE!”

Jongin shouts, chasing after the troll.

This ing troll is going to ruin my love life I swear.

“Yea Jongdae? And is that Jongin…?”

“I have a thingy to tell you. Jongin says—

Jongin eyes widened, snatching the phone. (He's fast)

“DON’T LISTEN TO HIM, SOO, HE’S LY—

Jongdae snatches the phone back.

“Jongin says that—

Jongin snatches the phone again.

“JONGDAE IS A BIG FAT LIAR, DON’T LISTEN TO HIM!’

On the other line, Kyungsoo had a brow raised, he was about 101% done with their .

Jongdae snatches the phone back again.

“JONGIN SAYS THAT HE LIKES BARBIES!”

He concluded with a bright smile that lighted up the entire room and hung up the call.

The others broke out into laughter yet again.

The rest of the Beagle Line patted Jongdae’s back in approval.

“You, my friend, deserve a prize.” Chanyeol said, giving him a thumbs-up.

Jongin wants to throw Jongdae into the calm blue sea to feed the sharks.

“Psst. Jongin,” Baekhyun whispered.

“What?”

“You could have just ended the call when you first got your hands on the phone, you know.”

“, don’t remind me.”

“So ideas? Anyone? Ideas? …ANYONE?”

Puuuuuuuuuut.

“What the , who the hell farted?” Jongin narrowed his eyes.

“It smells!” Tao covered his nose in disgust.

“HAHAHAHA…”

Everyone (except Beagle Line) rolled their eyes, glaring daggers at the culprit.

“Fart bombs!” Jongdae flashed a toothy grin at them, holding up a pack of fart bombs.

The Beagle Line high-fived.

Jongin wants to strangle them. Beagle Line needs to be disbanded, period.

“I am being bloody hell serious now, who has ideas?”

“Hmm, Picasso here has a BRILLIANT idea.”

“Speak.”

“I can sketch a picture of you two with speech bubbles. Yours will read, “will you be mine?” and his will say, “yes!” and then you can give it to him—

“…go away.”

Actually, ‘Picasso’ is a self-proclaimed nickname by Kris. The members play along but they are secretly judging their M leader. His artwork is…um…pretty…unique…

“You’ll regret it, I say.”

 Jongin scoffed. “Anyone else?”

“Buy him unicorn toys, like Susu.” Yixing says, holding up Susu.

“…”

“But everyone loves unicorns...”

“Oookay. Next?”

“Give him a baozi with a note stuffed inside! When he eats it, he’ll discover the note, which is your proposal message.” Xiumin suggests.

“I hope poor Soo chokes.” Jongdae grinned at the thought.

“That’s so cliché, though. Anymore?”

“I have one. Turn off all lights in the dorm, light up some candles and surprise him and then you propose!” Chanyeol said proudly, clapping at his own idea, earning a light punch from Baekhyun.

“That’s how you proposed to Baekhyun, Yeol.” Jongin pointed out.

Chanyeol broke into a toothy-grin. “Exactly”

“How about bringing him out for a romantic walk along the beach?” Tao grinned.

They all snickered. “The beach is for you and only your own romantic walks, panda.”

Damn, they were getting nowhere now. Why is proposing so hard?

“Or you can use Pick-Up lines. That’s how Sehun picked me up.” Luhan winked.

Gross.

“Moving on…”

Yixing raised his hand. “Or just do it?”

Jongin raised a brow. “Do what?”

“Do, you know, things. him senseless.” Yixing said quietly.

Everyone stared at Yixing and gasped.

“I’m just…kidding…” Yixing shrank a little in his seat, throwing his hands up in surrender-mode.

Our innocent Lay is not-so-innocent afterall.

“Guys, you know time is passing as we speak, Kyungsoo will be done soon and we might get found out” Kris pointed out.

“Well yeah, the thing is Jongin rejected all our ideas.” Luhan pointed out too.

“Err… What’s up with all this prepping up to propose anyways?” Suho asked.

Sehun shook his head in disappointment. “Looks like our mama Suho isn’t a romanticist unlike our romantic panda Tao erzi.”

“Suho is my mom and my mom only, not yours!” Tao pouted.

Suho ruffled his son’s hair, smiling.

Sehun rolled his eyes. “And Luhan is mine, and mine only.”

Luhan chuckled. “And Sehun is mine, and mine only.”

The couple stared at each other with glitter sparkling in their eyes.

The rest of them wanted to throw up. Hunhan is so vomit-inducing.

“Shush. I think I thought of something that might work.” Jongin said and all eyes were on him now.

“What?” Everyone chorused.

“I just need all of your help with carrying it out.”

“So what’s the plan?” Chanyeol asked.

Everyone leaned in closer and Jongin whispered,

“We’ll play the Jongin game.”

Do Kyungsoo is in for a ride tomorrow.

-

*erzi = son in chinese

hi. to those who've subscribed, i'm terribly sorry for my stupidity and i'm sorry if this is not what you're expecting. ;n; i must have been drunk when i wrote this lolol. (but i kind of had fun writing this junk though...) i hope you like this though, ferry, <3 and i hope this cheered you up ;u; i'll post part II soon <3