"MAKE IT STOP. MAKE IT STOP!!"

Pacing around your apartment, you were clutching your head hard as tears were streaming down your face. You needed it to stop; You couldn't take the images, the horrible memories. 

"WHY CAN'T YOU CLEAN LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO?!?!"

 

A hand abruptly slapped your face, leaving a smacking noise bounce off the walls. You lightly touched your cheek with your hand, feeling the heat and sting radiate off. You kneeled to the ground and hung your head down low, feeling the tense atmosphere surround you. Looking back up, you squinted at your grandmother who was glaring at you deeply. 

 

"EVER SINCE MY DAUGHTER DIED WITH HER SO-CALLED HUSBAND IN THAT CAR ACCIDENT, YOU HAVEN'T DONE YOUR PART IN THIS HOUSE!" she shouted with a very reddened face. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE 13 YEARS OLD? YOU CAN'T EVEN BE MY OWN GRAND-DAUGHTER!"

 

You were trying very hard not to cry in front of your very strict grandmother. You knew if you would even let a single tear fall, she would call you a coward and maybe slapped you again. 

 

"GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!" she said with a stomp of her foot, pointing to the stairs that lead to your bedroom. 

 

Keeping your head down, you trudged up the stairs like it was a hard mountain to over-come. You could feel your grandmother's hard glare burn into the back of your head as you walked up the never-ending stairs. Once you got to your room, you untied your apron and flew it across the room. You flung yourself onto your bed, crying into your pillow that had consumed previous tears and muffled sobs. It was evening time and you wondered if anyone in the neighborhood was actually concerned about what happened in your house. You wanted to cry yourself to sleep but the images in you head were too much. Your parents, your grandmother; you couldn't take it. 

 

You glanced at your window for a moment and saw the tree that was close by. You had to get out for a while; try to clear your head at least. Opening up your window, you slowly climbed out and grabbed onto the branches of the tree. Moments later you were on the ground and away from your isolated room. 

 

The sky above was a shade of orange and pink, still letting some light through the streets. You looked around the deserted blocks and ran down as fast as your legs could carry. Being away from the house; you wouldn't care less. 

 

You stopped at the local park and glanced around the area. No one was there except a guy playing basketball by himself, who looked to be around your age. You've never seen him before in the neighborhood and he was certainly different than the guys you saw at school. You walked closer to the court, memorized how he shot the ball countless of times while his basketball shorts swished together while he moved. Not being aware of yourself, you tripped by your own clumsiness and fell onto the hard concrete court, scraping the side of your arm as you landed. You squeezed your eyes shut as you stayed laying on the ground. 

 

"AISH~ Why does this have to happen to me?" you thought out loud. 

 

"Are you alright?"

 

You opened your eyes and saw the guy kneeling beside you, holding out his hand for you. Blushing like a tomato, you grabbed his hand, standing back up on your feet. 

 

"Kamsahamnida." you breathed, bowing respectfully. 

 

He looked down at the ground and smiled childishly, showing a gummy smile that you've never seen before. He looked back up, gently grabbing your arm and examining it carefully. 

 

"It's not that bad, but it needs to be cleaned." he softly grabbed your hand again. "Here, come with me. I'll help you."

 

Leading you over to an empty park bench, he grabbed his stainless-steel water bottle from underneath it. After dusting off dirt from the wound, he poured a little water from the bottle, cleaning the scrap. You winced from the sting it produced. 

 

"You okay?" he asked you softly. 

 

You nodded lightly and bit your lip. 

 

The guy looked into your red and swollen eyes with his concerned ones. With the crying earlier, you knew you looked like a terrible mess. Then looking at the red mark on your cheek, he suddenly stopped pouring the water. He moved closer to your face and checked it closely. 

 

"This didn't happen when you fell." he said referring to your red cheek. "What happened?" 

 

You took a deep breath and told him everything what happened; from when your parents passed away to when your grandmother slapped you. When you told him your story, he didn't interrupt at all. In fact, he watched you talk and listened to every word you said.

 

"My grandmother..." you whispered, as a tear escaped your eye. 'Don't cry.' you repeated to yourself, not wanting to show any weakness in front of him. You couldn't take it. You suddenly started crying into your hands, whimpering quietly. 

 

"It's alright. I'm here." he said wrapping a arm around your shoulders, trying to comfort you. The fact that you two had just met surprised you. He was even caring enough to comfort and listen to you. You slowly leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling tears roll down your cheeks. After a few minutes you started to calm down and breathed normally, sniffling a few times. 

 

"Hey, I never got your name." he said. 

 

You looked up at him and smiled softly. 

 

"(Y/N)." 

 

He suddenly held out his hand; "Yongguk. Bang Yongguk." 

 

You reached out and shook his hand fondly.

The friendship and connection you both shared sky-rocketed from that moment on. 

"Please... Make it stop." you whispered. 

 

You gripped it tightly. Holding it to your wrist, you felt the coldness of it lightly piercing your delicate skin. Closing your eyes, you whispered once again,

 

"Make it stop."

 

You pulled the blade across your wrist. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

He called you the second time, the third, the fourth. It left him with your voicemail again. 

 

"(Y/N)-ah, please pick up. I got your anti-depressants. I'm coming over right now. You've better taken last week's. The last time I came over I found some them in your garbage bin."

 

Hanging up his phone, Yongguk pinched the bridge of his nose and held the paper bag in his hand containing the anti-depressants tighter. It wasn't like you to not pick your phone. You would always answer right away, especially if it was him. 

 

Reaching the end the street, Yongguk walked up to your apartment building. Pulling out spare keys that you gave him, Yongguk unlocked the main entrance and jogged up the never-ending stairs to your apartment number. His thoughts began to scramble as he tried to think what was happening. Yongguk knew in his heart that something wasn't right today. 

 

Grabbing the keys to your door, Yongguk anxiously unlocked the door. Glancing around your apartment nervously, he tried to find you. 

 

"(Y/N)??" he called out. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted you on the floor of the kitchen. In that moment, Yongguk had never seen such a terrifying scene, until now. He gasped and ran over to you, dropping the bag of anti-depressants in his hand. 

 

On the kitchen floor, you sat with the blade in your hands. Your wrists were slashed deeply, leaving your sleeves on your white shirt soaked with blood. The red substance was all over the kitchen floor, leaving a horrific feeling linger around the quiet room. All Yongguk saw was you and your blood. 

 

Grabbing the blade out of your hands, Yongguk whipped it out of your hands, making it fly across the room. 

 

"(Y/N)."

 

You sat there looking at your bloody wrists, feeling the numbness starting to grow. You heard Yongguk speaking into his phone, already knowing that he called the paramedics, but you continued staring at your wrists with your sorrow eyes. 

 

Suddenly you felt Yongguk sit behind you, pulling you into his lap. His protective arms were placed over yours perfectly as he grabbed your wrists with his hands, applying pressure as much as he could, trying to make the bleeding stop. You then felt his head placed behind yours as you heard a muffled sob near your ears. 

 

"(Y/N) why?" He whispered as he cried into your hair, "Why did you do this?" 

 

You suddenly felt his hands grip your wrists tighter. You squirmed on his lap, trying to break free from his grasp. You needed this. The pain was the only way. 

 

"Yongguk, let go of me!" you cried trying to move your arms. 

 

This only made his grip on you tighter. 

 

You started punching and kicking in every direction in desperation of breaking free. Without a warning, Yongguk flipped you over on the floor. He suddenly grabbed your arms and placed them over your head, still keeping a grip on your bleeding wrists. Yongguk then draped his leg over you, sitting on your legs from preventing you from moving. You started crying again as the tears rolled down your already tear stained face. 

 

"YONGGUK GET OFF!" you screamed as the tears blurred your vision. 

 

"STOP IT!"  Yongguk yelled, making you shut up. 

 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks as he stared into your eyes. He took a deep breath and spoke,

 

"I will never let you go, (Y/N). Never."

 

You stared back into his tear-filled eyes. There was something there in his eyes that you couldn't put your finger on. Sorrow? Pain? Love? ...Love. 

 

His eyes were the last thing you saw as you heard the paramedics storm into your apartment. Your mind suddenly went black and unconscious. 

~~~~~~~~~ 

 

 

His ears were ringing, his heart was pounding out of his chest, his  eyes were blood-shot. 

 

Yongguk watched at the back of the ambulance as an oxygen mask was placed over your emotionless and unconscious face. The sounds of the ambulance sirens that filled his ears started to fade out as the truck started speeding faster and faster down the streets. You were laid out on a stretcher with paramedics working on your wounded wrists. Everything was blurred out in Yongguk's mind because the only thing he kept focus on was you, and only you. 

 

As the ambulance sped up, tears began to pour from Yongguk's eyes. 

 

 

~~~~~~~

 

 

"She lost conscious because of the blood loss, but she's fine now. She just needs some rest."

 

Yongguk nodded at the doctor standing in front of him. 

 

"Oh and I think you should go and clean yourself up." he said referring to Yongguk's hands that was covered with dried up blood. 

 

Yongguk nodded again, looking at his hands. 

 

Once he got to the restroom, he started scrubbing away the blood at the sink. He was washing away your blood; Your blood. Yongguk looked up and stared at himself blankly in the mirror. His cheeks were stained with tears and his eyes looked exhausted and very stressed. Yongguk stopped washing his hands as his mind began to mix with thoughts. What if he was too late? What if you lost too much blood? What would have happened if he wasn't there to deliver your anti-depressants? What happens if he never gets the chance to tell his true feelings? 

 

Yongguk clutched his hands into fists. He has to tell you, now. 

 

Quick as he could, he scrubbed the rest of the blood of his hands and sprinted out the restroom door. Running down the hospital halls, he ran as fast as he could to the doctor. 

 

"Doctor, where is (Y/N)?" he asked quickly, but politely. 

 

"Down the hall, make a left and she's in the last room on the right."

 

"Kamsahamida." he bowed swiftly before jogging down the hall. 

 

When he reached the room, he and walked in as calmly as possible. As he took a step, he suddenly stopped and looked at your face. You were sleeping in the hospital bed peacefully, your eyes closed softly. Yongguk complimented in his mind how beautifully your hair framed your face and how each time you breathed your chest would raise up and down gently. Realizing he was still standing there, Yongguk shook his head and walked over to the bed. 

 

Silently, Yongguk dragged a chair over, sitting close to your bedside. He looked over at your covered-up wrists that were layered with thick bandages. He blamed himself for letting all of this happen to you, yet he should have seen some kind of sign that you needed more help. He should have been a more caring best friend. 

 

Yongguk shook his head just thinking of the word best friend. Deep down inside his heart, he knew that he wanted to be more than that. Yongguk reached forward and grabbed your hand softly with his, looking at your sleeping face. Yongguk was simply deep in love with you and ever since he met you that day at the park, he was completely blinded by you.  

 

Still holding your hand, he intertwined his fingers with yours, making his heart flutter and jump from the subtle contact. But did you feel the same way? Suddenly, he felt you shift. 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

You slowly opened your eyes adjusting to the light and your new surroundings. You already knew you were at the hospital just by smelling how sterile the room was. 

 

"(Y/N)..." you heard a voice mumble beside you. 

 

Blinking a few times, you looked over and saw Yongguk looking down at the floor. You wanted to hug him to death and tell him how happy you were to see him but you just kept staring at him with tired eyes. 

 

You looked down at your entwined fingers with Yongguk's and suddenly felt your heart speed up. Was Bang Yongguk, your best friend and secret love holding your hand? Gently, you softly squeezed his hand, trying to give a sense of comfort. 

 

"Oppa, mianhae.." you whispered.

 

It all happened in a blur. Yongguk  embraced you tightly, nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. A sigh escaped you as you wrapped your arms around him, running a hand through his short cropped hair. 

 

"Mianhae." Yongguk muttered in your neck. 

 

As you hugged him tighter, you felt a couple of his tears fall onto your collarbone. Yongguk softly cried into your neck as you rubbed his back comfortably. 

 

"I don't know what I would do if you were gone." he whispered faintly in your ear. "(Y/N), you mean everything to me. Ever since I met you at that day at the park, I wanted to help and care for you as much as I could. Every time when we would meet, I would always find your cheek red or find a wound and it would hurt me to pieces."

 

Yongguk pulled back slightly and looked into your eyes with his tear-filled ones. 

 

"It's been ten years since that day. I've promised myself that I wouldn't let anything happen to you. And I have failed."

 

Slowly, he brought his hand up to your cheek, caressing it lightly. 

 

"(Y/N), this time I'm going to make another promise to you; I'll protect you however and whenever I can, even if it costs me everything."

 

Leaning forward, Yongguk placed a kiss on your forehead. 

 

"Saranghae." he whispered. 

 

Tears were falling from your eyes as you were trying to process everything he said to you. Yongguk just told his raw emotions to you. He loved you. He really does. 

 

"Yongguk..." you said faintly. 

 

Taking some courage, you finally stared into his eyes. You felt your heart stop as the sorrow you saw in his eyes pierced you deeply.  Blinking some of your tears away, you brought a hand to Yongguk's cheek, wiping the tears that were rolling off his face with your thumb.  

 

Gently, you leaned forward, placing your forehead against his. With all the pride you had, you whispered the words that barely came out of your mouth,

 

"Saranghae, Yongguk." 

 

Your vision was all a blur as you saw the outline of his face lean forward. As you closed your eyes, you felt his soft full lips finally meet yours. He brought a hand up to your cheek, caressed it lightly with his delicate fingers. You kissed him back softly with the same amount of passion as your heart began to flutter with desire. Your tears mingled with his as yours started to glide down your face. 

 

Yongguk pulled away, too early for your liking, just a hair-width away from your lips. Grabbing your hand with his, Yongguk placed your hand over his chest. Tears rolling, heart pounding, you looked right into his eyes, waiting for an answer. 

 

"Do you feel it?" he asked softly. 

 

You looked down at your hand and felt the constant pounding that bounced in his chest. 

 

"This is what you do to me (Y/N)."

 

Shutting your eyes as hard as you could, you tried to stop the tears that kept falling. You clutched the material of his shirt lightly still having your hand on his chest, as you felt a sob starting to creep up your throat. 

 

Without a thought, you kissed him square on the lips, not wanting the moment go to waste. Grabbing your cheeks, he kissed you back with the same affection, deepening the kiss and lightly biting on your lip as the seconds went by. With your free hand, you ran through his cropped hair as you kissed him more with lust. You wished that this moment would last for an eternity, but you remembered that you needed air and pulled away, breathing into his lips.

 

Yongguk ran a hand through your hair as he pecked your pink and now slightly swollen lips. 

 

"Promise... That this will never happen again?" he breathed. 

 

Looking into his eyes, you pecked his lips back and whispered,

 

"Ne."

 

Yongguk sighed in relief as he nuzzled your neck, embracing you protectively in his arms. You closed your eyes as you hugged him back, enjoying the moment with all you had. 

 

"Are you alright?" he whispered kissing the edge of your ear. 

 

You looked down at your bandaged wrists and sighed gently. 

 

"I am now." you said, wrapping an arm around his back and his neck. 

 

You felt the crook of your neck vibrate as Yongguk chuckled from the corniness of your answer. You couldn't help but laugh along with him. After the laughter died down, you pulled away slightly and gazed into his eyes. 

 

"Oppa, you should get some rest." you said, looking at his exhausted eyes and the bags underneath. 

 

"Where am I going to sleep?" 

 

Sliding over to one side of the bed, you patted a spot beside you as your cheeks suddenly turned red like cherry tomatoes realizing what you just did. 

 

Yongguk didn't even need to think twice as he stood up from his seat and climbed into spot next to you. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he pulled you closer to him, your head leaning on his chest. He leaned forward slightly, connecting your foreheads together and placed a lovingly kiss upon your lips. 

 

As you snuggled into his side, you watched him as he started to slowly close his eyes and barely whispered,

 

"I'm happy that I met you and I'm grateful that you came into my life. Without you, I'd be nothing in this world. Without you, I'd still be stuck in my personal hell. You're like the heaven that I look up to. You make me feel loved, cared and you keep me sane. Saranghae Bang Yongguk."

 

Kissing his cheek, you slowly fell asleep on his broad chest, snuggling his side. 

 

Tonight, promises were made; same promises that Yongguk committed for years. And tonight, you vowed that you would do the same for him.

 

/

 

A/N : Sorry that the last sentence is like that >.< I don't know why it has a hyperlink~